"What do you mean we should leave!?" I snapped at Roler when he made the announcement. Everyone looked at me weirdly, while the man himself hid an undercurrent of fury.

"What's gotten into you? We accomplished our objective, we've cleared the building. We're all tired. What else do you suggest we do?"

I furrowed my brows and tapped my foot impatiently. "Stay? Guard the place? Surely other people are on the way, right?"

"On the way for what?" He clicked his tongue.

Now it was my turn to be confused. "To take over the place. Build barricades. Increase our territory..." I paused, and then continued. "To, take over the city, as Bearwig said in his speech. I thought that was why we came here?"

Roler had a look of realization over his face, which he quickly covered with a cough. "It is. Of course it is. But... that'll be left for everyone else to handle. I'm sure everyone here is tired." There were nods all around, even from the civilians.

I gaped at him incredulously. "But... If we leave, then the monsters will take back the place in no time!"

Roler sighed. "Fine. Then can you build those barricades and manage this place? We're all fatigued here, can you do something about that?"

"I, well... No..." Not well, anyway. But that's not the point! Like this, we've accomplished a fat load of nothing. Gurisa died, for nothing!

I growled and stomped away. I heard Roler mutter behind me as I left in a huff.

"Women."

I wondered if anyone would notice if he disappeared and was replaced by an illusion. He'd be just about as useful.

~~~

We returned from our trip, successful in our mission, but defeated in purpose.

I felt even more defeated when I saw the fires raging at our base. The rising smoke had filled me with dread when we were still making our way.

Monsters have crossed the lines and jumped past the barricades. There were a dozen fights happening in many places, the desperation and panic clear on the people left to defend our settlement.

I immediately began conjuring my illusions, running ahead and causing chaos among the monstrous ranks. I lurked unnoticed by the enemy, making full use of the confusion that had been sown.

"Form up! Stand together!" I began shouting, trying to get people to cooperate. They listened, and the team I had been with for the entire day stood with me.

A group of goblins were streaming towards the door leading inside, and we steamrolled them. A wild Level 50+ drake was swarmed by our warriors, and a rabid wolf pack was chased away as they retreated once we reduced their numbers by a meager few. My illusions making us look menacing might have had something to do with that.

We quickly cleared the surrounding area, and began to make our way inside the base. The near-dead defenders by the entrance were healed, and all those who could still fight joined our procession.

Many of the monsters had made it inside, and it was chaos within our former living quarters. A monster could be lurking at any corner, and the remains of our friends could be buried under any pile of rubble.

We left them here, those who could not fight for themselves, the craftsmen and the children. It was supposed to be protected, and yet on the very first fucking day that they took over, the defense of the vulnerable and the weak were neglected!

I seethed as I made my way forward. A monstrous bird rounded the corner and I quickly swarmed it with many eldritch tentacles. None of them were real of course, but they were more than sufficient to cause great panic. Even my comrades were taken aback, but they quickly regained their bearings with my encouragement. The bird died in frantic panic.

"Alright! Good job! Let's keep going just like this!" Roler continued with his worthless platitudes, I wasn't even sure what kind of Class he had because he just kept on commanding from his high horse. I was this close to offing the man, but this was hardly the time for it. We continued onwards until the building was cleared, and then we made another sweep downwards until we made it back to the entrance where we took position as guards.

Fuck. I'm actually tired. I can hardly stay conscious.

Eventually, the danger died down, and I had time to rest and do my own thing. Roler did tell me that he had something to talk about, straight from command. He had a smug face like he was doing me a favor. But I just shook my head and walked away.

News had trickled in while we took care of the monsters that wandered close and more teams had come back. This disaster happened because this new administration had so recklessly and thoughtlessly redirected manpower to their ill-planned projects, leaving our homes defenseless in the process.

I would rather check on the wounded and the dead, rather than deal with their bullshit.

And so I assessed the damage, that resulted from this incompetence. I saw the people getting healed, some of them missing body parts. Magic was faster than regular medicine in a lot of ways, but we had yet to encounter someone that could regrow an entire limb. These people will be crippled, though I wished it would not be forever.

Beyond them though, were those that had made the ultimate sacrifice. Those that died in this conflict. Their bodies were collected towards the back, covered in blankets. More were yet being added, as we didn’t have the time earlier to go through all of them, for we were too busy struggling to survive. My eyes caught sight of a body that was still being placed, unobscured, and I felt my chest crack in sorrow.

I walked forward, and the woman attending to the bodies bowed and gave way for me.

I stared at the remains of two little kids clutching each other in fear at their final moments. The fear, and the regret, were still tangible in their expressions.

My heart broke, more than just a little.

~~~

I eventually did go to the meeting that Roler suggested, and thankfully he didn't make too big of a deal about me ignoring him earlier. I got invited to join the “new government” as an enforcer, and… that made me feel all kinds of wrong.

But, I had to do something. And the only place I could really do that, was from the inside. Unless, of course, if I decided to try and kill a whole lot of people, but that… I couldn't actually do that, no matter how I fantasized about it. This was real life, not a play where we could just laugh off the fake blood later.

I went and had a bunch of missions after that, and I became the second in command of virtually every team I was on. Though in practice, I was more than just the second. My commanders were the leaders in name only.

That annoyed me on many levels, not being acknowledged for my accomplishments. I took note to examine those feelings later, but now was hardly the time, with such a disaster to manage.

That, and I didn't really want to think about it.

The good thing was, that I did manage to get my voice heard, and we were able to marginally get better at what we do. At least, they agreed to keep just a little bit more in reserve, though still not nearly enough. Not with the new territory we've conquered. We were spreading too fast.

I also got to talk to Bearwig himself about all that, and he considered some of my suggestions, but I got the feeling most of them were rejected, and he was just trying to keep a positive front. He patted me on the back, and led me out the door with plenty of lip service to go.

Oh. And still none of the credit ever went to me, for any of those reforms. Just saying.

~~~

We settled into a routine that had many people dying. So many preventable casualties.

I was just advising Roler, having rolled him as my commander once again, and well, as infuriating as he was, the man at least listens and implements most of my plans. Sure, he takes the credit for them, but at least the necessary work gets done, and that’s what matters.

I am just a shy heroine that wants to do what’s best. I am just a shy heroine that wants to do her best. I care not for my own glory, it doesn’t matter that my accomplishments get taken from me. That’s what I am. That’s who I am.

"So here's the plan that I came up with…" He began a new briefing, and I felt my temper flare up to no end. This was really tempering my acting skills!

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

~~~

We were currently on break, when Elenora, someone from my original group, approached me.

"This can't continue." She said, and I totally agreed.

"You're right. You're absolutely right. This cannot continue. Mhm."

I nodded so hard, my head might fall off. Things have just gotten worse, and we're being pushed to take more risk for Bearwig's big plans about how to retake the city and the like. Our efforts have killed plenty of people, and for frankly very little benefit. I’m sure we’d need the space in the future, but we could approach this in a much more balanced way, instead of rushing forwards like this. We’re humans, not goblins that can just throw unlimited numbers at a problem.

"Right… So what are you going to do about it?" Elenora asked me.

"Uhhh…" I thought about it. I spoke while trying to mask the utter frustration in my voice. It all just came out, once I got started.

"I accepted their invitation to become an enforcer, and I confirmed to myself that things were really fucking bad. I… well, I did get them to make their process better, like with the distribution of people, the amount of defenders left, and all that. But it's still not enough. I never even got credit for any of my ideas. I'm still a low level grunt, no matter how much I've done. My Skills that only shine when in a team are undervalued, and those who can fight solo or in smaller groups are rising much more rapidly in Levels. It also seems to me me… like they're only promoting the men. My case could be explained by a slightly slower Leveling Speed, even though leadership should not be decided based on that either. But what can't be explained is how there is just ONE woman who is a general, and then no one else in the leadership, when there are plenty of women making it higher up in the Levels and distinguishing themselves! There's really no fucking winning!"

I was heaving by the end of it. That was just the reality of things, and I didn't try to act like the heroine, who always knew what to say. Elenora came to me with honest concern, and I could only respond in kind.

"That's…" she paused after my explanation. "But you have to do something! Someone has to!"

"Well, yeah. I'm still trying. We're all gonna die if no one does anything. But… I'm sorry, I'm really at a lost here, just as much as you."

She suddenly clasped my hand. "No!"

"Eh? No?" I blinked

"No! You're not… There are things you can do, I'm sure!"

"I… Thanks for the vote of confidence. Really. But I don't think shouting it is going to change anything…"

"No." She denied my pleas again. "You got us here. On the first day of the apocalypse, when everyone was scared and desperate, you were the one who led us! And not a single person died at your command. You did a really good job." Tears were streaming out of her eyes now. "So please… do a good job again. We need you. I don't want to die. To these unfeeling, uncaring monsters. To the Council or their generals, the unreasonable missions… I don't wanna die!"

"I…" My words froze, and despite myself, a grin made its way to my face at the unabashed praise.

There was nothing I could do but nod.

~~~

"Forward!" Henry shouted, our commander for the day. He had arranged our units in a typical formation, of frontliners and backliners, cleanly separated. It wasn’t the worst idea, we could certainly push forward and clear the building very efficiently like this, but it wouldn’t have hurt to at least keep some rearguards with ample stopping power. As it stood, an attack from the rear could really leave us defenseless.

My suggestions weren't taken, but we'd likely win anyway, and faster. And I was just sure they'd take that as me being wrong. Just neglect safety measures, until they finally become necessary. It wouldn't be too late by then. Sure.

In fact, it had become necessary, but it was brushed off as just a part of war and battle. Casualties were just part and parcel, and Henry had the audacity to tell me it was something that I would learn as I matured.

I already know that, dipshit! But the casualties can be minimized, and it’s stupid that you aren’t doing it.

Not that it mattered, really. A base had fallen yesterday, due to our lacking defenders, killing nearly everyone there in the process. Today, a different team was tasked with taking it back, meanwhile plenty of teams like ours still worked on expanding. We would just implode at this rate, and I have had enough of watching and taking the diplomatic road.

Things had to change. No matter the cost.

In service of that goal, I approached someone when we finally had a break, after having cleared the entire building. A team would be arriving shortly, to set up defenses properly. At least they learned enough to do that one thing.

I made a few slight gestures, and my target was immediately able to tell that I wanted to have a very private and very secret conversation. I would've just left, if he wasn't able to understand something so obvious.

"Briella Lunarise." He said once we were in an otherwise unoccupied room, motes of dust dancing in the air. "I'm Gerald Dino. Although, I can see you already know that. What is it that you require of me?"

Straight to the point? Very well. Let me be similarly confident. Darci already confirmed that he's likely to be sympathetic. "I sought you out because the current trend can't continue. We are dying, our bases our falling, and those who are left behind cannot protect themselves. Meanwhile those of us who could actually fight are sent to unending battles of conquest instead of being at home and protecting what matters.

"I see. I do agree with those statements." He said, a touch of regret and melancholy making its way to his face. This man has also been trying his best. He was a psychiatry professor back in our school, and now he uses what expertise he has, although not a precise match, to look after the mental health of we who are forced to fight and cower. An oddity that he never made his way to me.

A beat passed, and I saw that Gerald did not intend to continue. He just left that vague statement of agreement hanging. I decided to put on a more sympathetic and sorrowful voice. "Yes… it pains me to see it. But we are dying, and something has to change. I knew it since the day the new management was put into place. We were sent to a useless mission with zero backup plan. Someone died, for a pointless victory. I was already distraught by then, but when we come back, what was it that I saw in the distance? Plumes of smoke rising from where our base was supposed to be! The home that we had painstakingly built, destroyed. The people that we all somehow agreed to protect in our own inorganized way were killed. We haven't failed at that, until they came along!" I took a pause, breathing in a deep plume of air. "I fought frantically along with everyone else, to salvage the situation. It took a lot, but we finally succeeded after a while. However, the damage was already done by then. People have died. I saw children be buried by their parents. It broke my heart, and I knew then that something truly had to change." I took another breath, to calm myself down. I looked straight at Gerald, my eyes filled with resolve. "I tried to do it peacefully. I tried to affect change from the inside. I did manage to get some ideas through, I didn't even care when they took all the credit for it, save for the fact that it served as a barrier for me to rise, not for myself but so I can affect more change and stop our people from needlessly dying any further. I tried, I really tried to do things peacefully, but things are only getting worse, and I'm afraid I must do something that I never wanted to do. But for that, I need your help, if only to minimize the damage."

Gerald watched me through my entire speech, his face an unreadable map. Finally, he grunted, in what seemed like approval. "You are disturbed. I know of you, from even before the apocalypse. You have… a good heart, I think. But that's the thing. I cannot even be sure. Because you are way too good at acting that my many years of experience in reading humans cannot pierce." That was why I wanted to recruit him. To find out who to recruit, isolate, or… kill. The fact that he couldn't get a read on me, even with a scout-type Class that most definitely enhances his ability to do so somehow… It's both very flattering, and also a bit disappointing, because I need him to be at his best. Let's just say I'm that awesome, and no one else would be able to fool Gerald like I can.

"Well…" he continued. "I need not observe your body language to get a read on you. Your actions do speak louder than anything else, Briella. You've done well. You've done your best. And if you think it still isn't enough… which I too think so… Then I'll help you in the drastic measures you wish to make. Just… the council, the generals, the enforcers. Everyone's still just trying their best. Most of them, at least. So, let's try and spill as little blood as we can. I'll not ask for a bloodless coup. I know it's unrealistic…"

I didn't think about my response nor formulate the proper expressions. I only said the first thing that came to mind. "Thanks Gerald. I appreciate it. And the trust you're willing to show me."

It did sting a little, that he still seemed unsure of whether or not I was being genuine. I have indeed been more 'fake' lately, but that was out of necessity.

~~~

What followed was a very turbulent time. I found myself on battlefields, orchestrating the war. Monsters danced to my tune, and so too did my allies. Casualties were unavoidable in this way, but I managed to skew them in a way that no one noticed. Just a trick of the lighting, small openings in the illusory curtains that I made. The Enforcers that would pose more trouble were done away with, swarmed by more enemies, and by the deadlier ones. I even took out one general, but that wasn't a hand I could overplay. As incompetent and disorganized my enemy may be, they may yet catch on if I become too brazen. My allies also helped in this, we didn't kill the enemy through our actions, but through inaction that could very easily be excused away.

I was a stoic mask throughout all of this. Inside, I embodied a hardened commander. A heroine with a lot of baggage. But I did not actually have the baggage to be indifferent towards my actions. I had killed humans, and that was a weight I'd have to carry with me forever.

~~~

An utterly wonderful thing happened, in the midst of my culling. I saw a person in the distance just as we were about to clear out another building. That in itself was not rare, people have kept on finding our settlement overtime. But the moment I recognized who this man truly was, I quickly rushed over to greet him.

“HALBERT!” I shouted my friend’s name, and he slowly raised his head. There was a frown in his face, but it quickly disappeared as he recognized me as well.

“Briella!” He screamed back, and I crashed into him. He took my momentum like nothing, and hugged me back. We spent a moment like that, laughing and crying, and just for a short while I managed to forget all the problems we faced, and the things I have been forced to do. To become.

It ended all too soon, and Halbert somehow ended up joining us for the current mission. I updated him on things, and he also spoke a little bit about how his apocalypse had been going. But I could tell that he was being evasive.

My friend was sad, and something had clearly happened. I intended to try and help him work through it later, but it’d take time. For now, however, I did manage to secure his support for the coming coup.

He was a Level 45 Warrior, higher than anyone in our settlement. A strong Class too, very physical but supported closely by the winds, allowing him to move very fast.

Halbert would be a big help, for my treason.

~~~

In the background, my allies were also hard at work. Nearly all of the people I initially traveled with during the early days of the apocalypse were very sympathetic towards my cause, and with the help of Gerald, we were able to quickly and safely grow as a faction, while the council of BIGPP remained none-the wiser. They didn’t even know that one of them, a man by the name of Hipper, had already turned. He was a student here before, just like I was, and he was part of the Frat. Just a total party animal, life of the party, and all that.

“I’m a Pirate Anarchist for fuck’s sake! Why did they make me councillll!!!??? Why Briella!? WHY!?”

I was taken aback when he shouted at me, and I blurted out. “Uh. I don’t know. I certainly wouldn’t have picked you, that’s for sure.

He laughed. “Exactly! I like you! Alright, let’s burn down this joint!”

Does he realize that I am replacing them with myself and my own people… which means there’d likely be even less anarchy than before… I chose not to broach the topic.

“Oh! I have a yacht if we can make it to the beach! Well, it’s my uncle’s… But! I actually got some Skills that are inactive because I got no boat! Let’s go grab it and smash the ship into Bearwig’s face!”

Why did you even choose the Class… Nope. I’m ignoring this.

~~~

The day of reckoning came. Most teams have been sent out, and the amount of people still left at the home base were few. The expansion was still ongoing, and there were a few groups that we filled only with our sympathizers, including their generals. Those groups then doubled back towards the university, so that we may establish ourselves while the current leadership had left themselves defenseless.

"What is the meaning of this!?" Bearwig shouted, from the balcony. We were currently an entire army, posturing in front of the Man House. It was like the White House, but now for the whole of humanity, or some other bullshit. In reality it was just the central building that used to contain a lot of faculty, and the office of the headmaster and principal. Who was now dead. Because apocalypse.

Regardless, I answered him. My voice was blasted out by someone's Skill so that those that remain may hear. The craftsmen and the children, along with the few defenders.

"It pains me to do this. But our people are dying and you will not listen! From the dwindling defenses, to the thoughtless expansion. We are losing our loved ones and our friends because of your incompetent leadership! You are stretching our forces thin, and bleeding us out to dry!"

People began peeking out of the nearby buildings, they began murmuring amongst themselves. Bearwig too realized this, so he quickly tried to reassert control.

"Fool! Are you suggesting we cower!? Against the monsters!? How could humanity every hope to rise again!"

"It won't rise again if it fucking falls dumbass!"

"It won't fall! We won't! While there may be sacrifices along the way, that's just the way of war!!"

That statement sent a wave through the crowd that had gathered, and it was good that Inwas sucha good actress, for I nearly failed to suppress a grin. The people are tired and in grief. Their way of life has been destroyed, not that very long ago. They do not want your sacrifice bullshit. And it's laughable that you can't see that.

"Bearwig's right! These are desperate times!"

"Strong men are called to step up and sacrifice!"

Of course, there were still those that believed in Bearwig, though most of them were clearly planted by the council itself. They had the good sense to try and control public opinion well in advance, at least. Not that it mattered, because we had our own fucking plants!

"What about my child!? Did my 6 year old son have to sacrifice himself for your cause!?"

"These are indeed desperate times! So quit being dumb, and actually think!"

"Yeah! You only coerce people into believing your cult!"

"We're tired of it!"

"EAT DICK!"

I smiled at Bearwig, and he glowered at me. We both knew that this could only truly end one way.