Consultation 43.
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“God, how do I bring an end to world hunger?” I was asked by a woman with sincere eyes imploring me for an answer.
“Simple, just kill off all the starving people in the world. Once you do that you won’t have any hungry people left without food, right?”
That single sentence was enough to bring enlightenment to the lost little lamb in front of me.
“God... it was so simple, yet why have we never thought of such a miraculous solution to this great problem that has plagued us for so many years?”
“Sometimes the answer can be sitting right in front of you and you won’t be able to find it no matter how hard you search for it. But when you take a step back and become a third-party observer, you begin to see things much clearer from an entirely different perspective.”
I didn’t bother with the usual bullshit theatrics, I could tell this two-faced bitch didn’t care in the slightest about the starving people in the world. All she really wanted was the title of ‘the saintly woman who ended world hunger.’
“What would be the best way to kill off all the starving people, God?”
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
“All you need to do is round up these starving people and toss them into concentration camps. Rounding them up is pretty easy. They’re starving, right? Just smack some juicy sausages on their cheeks while promising them a better life in what you’ll call ‘training’ or ‘educational’ camps where they can learn valuable skills. If you do this, they will flock to you like headless chicken jumping into a fire pit and you will eventually bring an end to world hunger.”
“It’s really that simple?”
“Yeah, it is. Just don’t do something stupid like turning them into cheap laborers to make a quick profit otherwise people will catch on quickly. You’ll be more prone to leaks if they aren’t immediately killed off. When they’re alive, they can try to slip secret messages into the products you’re forcing them to produce after all. It’s easiest to keep things a secret and keep operations running smoothly when there are no witnesses left behind to blab. Cut them off by the roots to prevent any future problems and dispose of their bodies to ensure there isn’t a single trace of evidence left behind.”
She could no longer hold back her excitement and jumped up to her feet excitedly.
“This is great. Wonderful. Magnificent! I can’t even find the words to describe it. World hunger will finally come to an end. Just think of all the compliments I’ll receive when I achieve this.”
“Compliments? Weren’t you doing this because you deeply cared for those starving people?”
“Ah.” She calmed herself down and recomposed herself.
“Ehem.” After she cleared her throat she looked at me and curtsied by pinching the ends of her dress and raising it. “Excuse me. I got a bit too excited just now. Please forget what I just said and don’t mention any of this to anyone.”
“Don’t worry. I’m a professional and strictly maintain client confidentiality.”
“Hahaha. That’s good to hear.” She quietly departed on her own after she said that.