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Chapter III: Cannibals
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Ah, yes, I remember now. It was only a couple of weeks ago. How could I forget?” said Eddy.
Eddy began to reminisce, and he soon drifted off into his own form of slumber. His body was of a metal spoon, yet his mental was just like anyone else's. And so, he dreamed of his past.
“You, pass me the rest of the kidneys. You’ve had plenty,” said Eddy as he pointed to his eldest son.
The eldest son then rebuked and said, “But I killed this man! His organs are rightfully mine!”
Eddy leaned over the fire pit, snatched the kidney on a stick, and said, “When you have your own family, then you can make your own rules.”
“You told me that I get to keep what I kill! You’re a liar!” said the son as he stormed off into the woods.
Eddy then looked over at his other two sons and said, “Boys, go find him before the manhunters do. It’s going to be pitch dark in these woods soon,” and he slurped down the rest of the kidney.
A middle-aged woman stared at Eddy with gore all over her face and said, “You shouldn’t be too hard on him. He was pivotal in slaying the caravan today. He’s the reason why our girls get to feast tonight.”
For a moment, Eddy went silent as he watched several of his daughters dressed in rags eat the hands and feet of his son’s victims. They ravenously gnawed on the human flesh in delight. And the sight made Eddy go weak.
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
“You’re right, sis… I should be a little nicer next time. However, I’m still hungry,” and he reached for some seared ribs.
*Chomp* *Munch* *Munch* *Munch*
After just one bite, Eddy reached for his throat in a panic and gurgled, “Ka! Ka! I’m… Choking… Ka! Ka! Hel-”
*Plop* *Thud*
And just like that, Eddy collapsed in a pile of dirt and leaves. His vision went a blur as he failed to dislodge a piece of broken rib bone within his throat. He eventually turned a shade of dark purple, and the cries of his family became ever so distant.
You have died!
You will now be reincarnated as a Rusty Spoon!
Eddy now wiggled his metallic body within some dirt and said, “What the fuck happened, and why am I a spoon?!”
Ralph removed some topsoil, exposed the handle of Eddy, and said, “Wow! Fate has blessed me with a sword! I knew that I’d eventually find some treasure here!”
“Okay, this is weird… I could have sworn that I was just choking. What did those blue boxes even say again?” asked Eddy.
Ralph fully unearthed the spoon, held it up to the sun, and said, “Ah welp. It seems like I got my hopes up for nothin!”
Do you wish to soul bind with Ralph: Yes or No?
“Absolutely not. I don’t even know what ‘soul bind’ is, and I definitely won’t be doing that with another man,” said Eddy.
You have chosen ‘Yes’
Soul Binding…
Eddy screamed internally and said, “Fuck you, I didn’t agree to this!”
“Eh, it’s so rusty too. My mother probably doesn’t even want this,” and so he flung the spoon into the river.
The spoon flew a good ways down the bank, and right as it was about to hit the water with a splash. It vanished.
“Hey fuck wad! I am not some trash that you can toss around!” said Eddy as he reappeared instantly within Ralph’s hand.
Ralph then jumped and cried out, “Eeeekkkk!”
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