A year has passed since Cassius was killed. I’m 10 years old now. While I’m technically older mentally, age is nothing more to me than a reflection of my body’s maturity. I don’t know how old I am mentally, I long forgot that.

Age is weird from my perspective on this planet because years are longer. Days are roughly the same length, maybe 30 minutes longer at most. But a year on this planet is 390 days. Well, the position of the planet relative to the sun is obviously different.

Anyways, I have gotten stronger. I am much stronger now than I was a year ago. Still not nearly as strong as Marcus. But I am slowly making progress. My muscles are more toned now, and my magic capacity is increasing. I have slowly started to begin puberty. Honestly that kind of sucks.

Today is a special day. Due to a combination of throwing my weight around as a noble around, and successfully beating low-level fodder. I have obtained a class 5 adventuring license. So far class 6 monsters have been well within my capabilities.

Class 6 monsters are all near the level of the Crystal Bear Cassius and his brother fought. There are some monsters within the class that are quite a bit stronger. But none of them are out of my league. Apparently, the average warrior in this world is in the class 5 range of monsters. The range itself is quite wide. One class 5 warrior could be 5x stronger than another. But you can expect the largest number of warriors to be within class 5.

For someone my age to be as skilled as a lifetime warrior would be unfathomable. So, despite being there in prowess, I had to use my sway as a member of the nobility to actually move up there. Thanks to that, I have just accepted a quest to slay a mid-tier class 5 monster, an orc. In this world, orcs are about 5 times the size of humans. Much faster and stronger than the average person, but none are capable of magic, though they are fairly resistant to it. Most skilled adult fighters would stand a chance, but it is rarely a monster taken on alone. I am planning to do that.

Octavia pleaded not to go, or to let her join me. I don’t plan on doing either. I need to go in order to get stronger. If I had won because of her support, then nothing would have changed. I brushed her off and ordered the guards not to let her out of the estate when I was on this mission.

I departed with 5 days’ worth of food, two daggers, Cassius’ usual battle clothes, a cloak, magic-reinforced rope, a large waterskin, a javelin, and a leather bag. Brennos wished me luck when I went out and soldiers from the garrison once again asked to accompany me.

It is autumn, leaves are falling from the trees and the nights are cold. But I can manage the cold, and the falling leaves look pleasing. I retrieved a horse from the garrison outside the walls and rode it all day long. Horse riding was something I learned over the last few months from the soldiers.

Camping out is difficult when traveling alone. Many adventurers have died from monsters sneaking up on them in their sleep. I decided to sleep high up in a tree. There are few flying monsters in this area, and almost none of them have one-shot kill capabilities.

The stars are different in this world, there is even a ring around this planet. I wonder what the view is on one of the moons of that ring. I would have loved for Cassius to see that. Perhaps he would bring Octavia or Julius with him there. I drift off to sleep wrapped in my cloak.

The next morning, I set off again, I stopped at a river to refill my waterskin and then headed off to the ruins where the orc was staying. The ruins belonged to a civilization that was here long before even the Aeneas Republic existed, let alone the kingdom. The ruins appear to have withered away for thousands of years. The ruins are of a former military encampment.

The orc was in one of the major open areas, there was the corpse of a crystal bear lying near it. Monsters don’t need to eat, but many of them like to. I went and sealed off one of the underground areas on the other side of the encampment to sleep for the night. Before that, I tied up the horse on a river nearby, giving it some food to hold it off for a day. Then went to bed once more, it was hard to sleep with an orc above me.

The next morning, I ate a light meal, drank the rest from my waterskin, then strategized. Orcs have a high level of resistance to magic, but that is not perfect. I could stay at a distance and fire off high-level spells. That probably won’t work though, they are fast and can throw things. Staying at a distance doesn’t guarantee my safety. Plus, for my magic to be effective I probably will need to be close. In the end, I’ll just need to weaken it enough from mid-range to close the distance and land the killing blow.

I left the underground area with my daggers, javelin, and rope with a plan. Then walk around the walls of the encampment until I get a clear visual. Sneak as close as I can comfortably get, and then launch my first attack.

I shake the earth beneath it and break the ground apart, then create a giant pool of mud for it to sink its feet into. This alerts the orc of my location. It tries to move its feet out, but by then I’ve re-solidified the ground.

Next, I heat up the tip of my javelin until it gets too close to the melting point for my comfort. Then I throw it as hard as I can at the head of the monster. The javelin pierces the left eye and gets lodged into its skull. It yells at the top of its lungs while grabbing onto the javelin.

Next, I pull the rope that I wrapped around the edge of the javelin until the orc loses balance and falls onto its face. While on its stomach it finished pulling the javelin out, but I run up to it while it is doing this.

However, before I can jump on top of it, it swats me away and I just barely manage to dampen my fall with wind magic.

The orc breaks the ground that’s trapping its legs and then pulls itself out. Leaving us on equal footing. Though it sustained quite a bit of damage from my first attack. At this point, I could run away and do another guerrilla attack, but I doubt I can catch it off guard twice.

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The orc picks up a makeshift wood club and charges at me, I jump away onto the roof of one of the buildings inside the encampment. That building is quickly smashed, and I have to jump to another one.

For a few minutes, I simply dodge, looking for openings in the orc, but they are difficult to find. I barely have a speed advantage, with a massive strength disadvantage. The big difference between us is my use of magic. But a fireball I cast while running away from club attacks proved to be barely effective.

I need to be at close range for a killing blow, but that’s simply too difficult. Should I run away? No, running away is not an option. Therefore, I will have to use a technique I recently learned.

A magical technique is one that layers spells together to create an even more potent outcome. Cassius never learned any difficult technique; he was always just learning complex spells. I changed that trend.

I calmed my nerves, recast physical enhancement, and recast focus magic. Then I ran at the orc full speed. It swung downwards at me, which I dodged by jumping to the right. Then I jumped up into the air and…

Fuck!

I thought I could get past the club before it swung it again. But I wasn’t fast enough.

The orc swung upwards and hit the back of my left shoulder, throwing me at the wall of the encampment. I dampened the impact with wind magic, but I was still shaken to the core. It leaped at me again, but I launched myself away with wind magic and hid behind a wall.

It couldn’t see where I went, so it went around smashing the buildings with its massive club. I applied rudimentary recovery magic to myself. I stopped the bleeding from my shoulder, which was caused by the shaved-off skin. But the magic wasn’t advanced enough to fix my broken collarbone.

This is the first time I’ve ever felt pain like this before. It’s awful, I hate it. I want to go home. I want to be protected. These thoughts all cross my mind. But I know deep down that they are irrelevant. Something is driving me forward, something far more significant than those feelings. I must kill this thing, for the sake of what’s moving me forward.

I step out from behind the building I was hiding behind. Then it sees me. When it starts running at me, I create a massive screen of fog. It loses sight of me, but I remember where it was headed to. The orc is much bigger than me, I will notice it before it notices me.

When I do I lunge at it. Fear, hatred, anger, sadness, anxiety, every feeling I’ve had since obtaining this body. It all accumulates at the tip of my blade. With my mind honed, I dodged to the left of its swing.

Before I can do anything else I activate my technique. The timing was perfect. I slice through the orc’s arms as I fly past the orc.

Once I flew behind it. I create more hot air at the bottom of my feet. Launching myself at its head. I slam the silver dagger in my right hand into its head. There is a slight crunch at the end of it indicating I broke into the skull.

I cast a high-grade flamethrower through the blade. It yells in pain again. But it is not enough to kill it yet. The orc then wraps it hand around my torso and squeezes me. I feel my ribs crack. But it doesn’t stop me.

I cast an explosion of magic at the tip of the sword. Then a flamethrower, then another explosion. Fire spell after fire spell.

I scream at the pain from having my body slowly crushed. But I keep casting each spell as potently as possible.

Again, and again, and again, Until…

The orc’s body goes numb, and it tumbles over. I then lay on its back for a moment. I cast recovery magic enough to make the internal bleeding stop. Then relax for a moment on the grass after I drag myself to it.

I use a stick and what’s left of the rope to splint my left arm. Then I pull a tooth out of the orc and cut off the tip of its ring finger as proof I killed it. I burned the body after collecting those.

It hurts to walk, but I managed to get to the horse eventually. I fed it, let it drink a bit more, and then we left to return to the city. The trip back was the same, except I slept on the ground. I couldn’t climb a tree in my condition.

Once I get to the wall, I hand back the reigns of the horse and the soldiers look concerned at my condition. I wave them off and make my way slowly and painfully to the guild. I turned in the proof of killing it and then started the walk back to the estate. A middle-aged man offered to help me on the way back, but I turned him down.

When I enter the estate, my body finally gives out. I pass out onto the floor of the entrance. It hurt to lay on my still broken ribs, but I didn’t have the ability to pick myself up.

When I awoke, I was in my bed again. With Octavia sitting on a chair in the familiar spot. This time, before I have time to drag myself out of bed and walk away from her, she speaks up. For the first time ever, she yells at me.

“Do you hold no value to your life? What the hell are you thinking? That was beyond just reckless, it was suicidal!” She takes a deep breath and tones her voice down. “I know you are strong Cass, amazingly so. But even you have limits, I’m afraid you won’t realize them until it’s too late.”

“If I don’t push those limits I won’t get strong enough to-“

“I know, I know I can’t stop you. But even if I can’t, I can still be with you to protect you if that day ever comes!”

“If I rely on you, I won’t ever get strong enough… I must do this on my own.”

“Why?”

“Because I am alone.”

“I’m your fiancé! I will always be with you! You aren’t alone.”

“Let’s not be engaged anymore, Octavia. I can’t tell you why, but this isn’t for the best. For you.”

I guess I never clearly stated that it needed to end. But I did now. When I said this, she quickly broke out in tears and sobbed her heart out. I couldn’t stand seeing this. The effects of Cassius’ love for her still linger in my shared consciousness. Even if I want to turn away from her cold-heartedly, I simply can’t. The remnants of Cassius won’t let me.

I didn’t want to do this if possible. So, I calmed her down enough to tell her the lie. The lie that will separate us forever. The lie that will separate us for the better.

“I never loved you, I only acted like I did because my father expected me to. Now that they are gone, there is no reason to continue this charade anymore. So, Octavia, I will give you enough money to last you for the rest of your life. Because if it weren't for me, you would be with another man, I will duly compensate you for depriving you of that. As well as set you up with whatever life you want.”

Countless emotions ran across her face, most of all confusion. She is a strong girl though, eventually, she sorts out her feelings and speaks back.

“Do you mean it by whatever life I want?”

“Yes.”

“Aside from being your wife, I assume?”

“That is correct.”

“Then let me work for you, here.”

“Why?”

“Because, even if you don’t see me as family, that doesn’t mean you aren’t family to me. My love for you as a friend and everything else is real… besides, I know if I stay here, I will have at least some happiness.”

I see, she feels the same as I did. Even if she was barely a part of that family, in the end, the connection was real to her. Hearing that it’s hard to deny this from her. And leaving a 10-year-old to travel alone would lead to an awful outcome most likely. In the end, accepting the proposal to work here is all I can really do it seems.

I know a lot of adults, but none of them I feel I can dump this responsibility onto.

“Very well, you can work here doing whatever role you wish.”

I don’t care what happens to anyone else. But I will not let anything bad happen to her. From anyone else, or from me. I will keep her distant. I will keep her far away from the likes of me. Even if it means keeping her nearby.

It is the least I can do. For Cassius.