"-You seriously want me to believe that?" Hans asked after listening to our long spiel. 

"Hey, it's true!" Todd said in defence, but it came out weakly, even though he stood up to say it. Hans leaned back in his chair, took one glance at Todd and then one at me, and crossed his arms. A cocky, slanted smirk quickly blossomed on his face.

"Heh, yeah. Right. Next, you'll tell me I'm in the matrix." He took a swig of his brew, eyeing us deeply. 

Todd sputtered. "I-, you!"

"If you haven't posted this crack-pot theory of yours to the LeMonde subreddit yet, I'll just advise you to. Well. Not. Keep this to yourself." Hans glanced over at me, his eyes growing wary, brows furrowing. "-Also, ditch that thing. Seriously. Believe me, C-ranks are smarter than you think. Probably."

"Dude, not coo-, wait,, there's a LeMonde subreddit??" Todd asked, his emotions flip-flopping by the minute. "No, wait, unimportant! I'm totally serious here! Not a theory, not a conspiracy, just-, just truth. Earthling-to-Earthling-to-,"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you! But. Seriously, it's just not possible. If we were talking to a sentient E-rank monster, sure. I could believe something odd was happening. A C-rank, though? And a pixie at that-? You do know that they're notorious tricksters, don't you?"

"I-, they are? Oh, yeah, the manual did say something about that... Hrrmm, I... How can I convince you?"

Hans grumbles for a second, letting his eyes wander the room. "-I'd ask you to prove the sentience of these NPCs, but considering I can't really prove your sentience... I guess you can't." 

Todd chews his lip before sitting back down, crossing his arms as well. This was going exactly nowhere. 

"-Sir, please reconsider-"

"No, I won't reconsider! 'Specially not with a walking talking nuke right here in the room! I don't care what you've got to say. I really don't. You fooled this guy? Good for you. You fooled some random NPC? Sure. Whatever. Just don't fool me or Gu-, my party! If you do, I won't hesitate to attack. I've got connections. I know who to talk with to get a nasty bug off my screen."

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

-And with that rather ominous threat, Hans rose from his seat and stormed off, fists balled at his side.

That.,, could have gone better-?...

"...Jesus, what's up his ass-?" Todd asked, scratching his head before turning back to me with a wry smile. "Sorry dude, guess I'm all you've got, huh?"

I shake my head. We still have Mal, don't we? Speaking of Mal, it seems he sat down in a corner with his knapsack, reading some old tome. Very befitting. Then again, it's not as if he's much strong, I know that much. Neither is Todd. And-, and that's alright! I'll protect them, keep them safe, make sure we survive anything thrown our way! We don't need Hans or Gus or anybody else!

"-Alright, dude, I guess... I've gotta log out soon, but I'll buy a room for you and Mal first, okay?" Todd said, standing up. I transform back into my full-insect form as I fly up and sit down on his shoulder. 

Together, we walk over to where Mal is sitting, and as soon as we get close, he actually perks up. Pointed ears poking up, he glances up, stuffs a bookmark in his book, and crams it into his backpack. "-Ready to head out, Mal?"

"Certainly so, Hero," he glances over at me, his expression tightening, "-but does the Villain have to come along? Truly?" 

"Hey, I said so before, didn't I?" Todd grins and pets my small head, "-wouldn't hurt a fly! Don't worry!" Todd quickly plucks me off his shoulder and prepares to stick me on Mal's shoulder, but the elven boy stops him. 

"-I'd rather he didn't sit on my shoulder." The way he said this was mostly in an "I don't want it near me" way, but that didn't seem to register with Todd. He mulled over the words, deciphering meaning, and finally, a light-bulb went off. 

He placed me on Mal's hat. 

Mal's left eye twitched.

"-There! Perfect!" Todd said proudly, puffing his chest out. I slid around for a bit, unsure of where to place my feetsies, but I eventually got a hold of it. All I had to do was grab a hold of the fabric and let go with the other feetsies. Simple stuff. Apparently I'm rather light since the brim didn't buckle or bend or anything. I consider this to be a good thing. 

"H-, Hero-,,"

"Come on, let's go! I know a good inn just a few blocks away!" Todd said merrily, running out the door without any fear that we would follow. Mal stood still for a moment, so I peeked out from my place on his hand, getting eye-contact with him. Pale. Yup, that was the same facial expression as the one he'd had earlier. Neato. Let's go, steed!

"I-, I-,, wait, Hero!" Mall called out, finally realizing it was time to run after the hero. 

The trip to the inn itself was, well... Tumultuous. Todd's sense of direction is as bad as ever, and we got lost within seconds, which was rather impressive. We did find the inn after a while (Donkey's Lay), and once Todd paid the fee for a single bedroom, he logged out and disappeared in a cloud of black dust. The second he did, the inn got a bit rowdy, but once Mall (stuttered) explained the situation, we were left alone.

"Uh, uhm, Villain, do you hear me-?..." Mal whispered, stumbling off into a corner. I peeked back down over the rim and nodded. "Hrmm, okay, we'll-,, we'll wait for the moon to rise. And then, we'll descend into the sewers. Goddess bless our damned souls." I nodded and retreated back up to the hat. Very comfy. 

Mal sat down in a one-person chair at the corner of the inn and called for some food. 

Now we wait.