Thunder echoes all around us, the rain is harsh, surely trying to punish us for what has been done, and what is being done.

Lightning lights up the sky for a brief moment, and illuminates the improvised camp we have built, stretching the tents from tree to tree we take shelter as a couple of dim campfires provide warmth to those near them. Only Huani rest and chats with each other.

The orange flames dance and project the shadows of the horror I allow. The hobgoblins have lost themselves in lust and the violent need for release, four men at once ravaging a single woman at a time, the sound of their gagging, their silent sobs, the slapping meat. It's deafening, my ears listen to every single movement, each thrust, each desperate gasp for air before being abruptly interrupted by a forceful insertion.

I glance at the Huani, after the heat of the battle had vanished they were no longer interested in joining the monstrous act. Disapproving the owning of slaves as their people had to suffer it first hand, but I can see the glint in the eyes of the younger ones, how they steal glances at the women. If it were not for Nojus's condemning stare, I'm sure they would have jumped at the opportunity.

Oh, the stench.

The sweat, the cum, the small almost imperceptible smell of blood...I hate it.

I hate how it forces my body to awake, my heart to race, and my most beastly desires to surface. I look at the one woman I managed to spare from this fate, her hands tied on the wheel of the wagon, My right as Boss Jorr said when he told me to pick one. I chose the eldest, with a few wrinkles here and there, yet still pretty and...so full of curves.

No, I shake my head. I can't, stop it.

My body begs me to stand up and either run away or join in this madness. But I can't walk away from this, I can't just walk away from my actions. I CAN'T!

My eyes focus on the tied-up woman, she looks at me in fear as she wiggles around on the ground. I can smell the sweat from her body, I can tear away her clothes and satiate my lust without a care, a hundred times, a thousand times. It is my nature, and if I will allow these horrid acts to be committed then why pretend I'm better than them?

Why not give in? To fully embrace the monster I am, to let go.

I stand up, my breathing hard, and my manhood harder, I can't look away from the woman, I can't stop the thoughts, the urge. Then, screams. A skull being bashed with a rock, my face digging into the meat of the innocent girl, the taste of her flesh so delightful it makes my mouth water, and I can only imagine how must this woman taste in comparison.

Her flesh hardened by work, to dig my jagged teeth into her as I penetrate her- I can't, I can't!

I slam my head again with my fist and rush away from the camp, walking away quickly I get several meters away from the rest of my men, forcing air to enter my body through my mouth. As I do my best to regain control over myself, the rain drenches me in an instant as I walk further away, welcoming the cold embrace of the wind as it soothes my mind.

Leaning against a tree I raise one of my war picks, running my fingers along the surface of its head I spin it around a bit before resting its pointy end on my chest, it almost pierces the tunic.

I press it and feel it poking my scar, bringing back the memories of Fogosh, I can't stop now, I'm far from my goal, from my vengeance, and from building the home I desire...but what type of home will that be? A place of barbarians and beasts? I look up, past the leaves of the tree tops, the lightning once again traveling across the night sky.

Please, take me away. As you did when you brought me to this hell.

A slap is heard and I immediately reach for my other war pick, crouching and looking at the direction the sound came from. Nothing happens for a few seconds but then I see someone approaching, Andrei. I hide behind a tree and peek as he passes nearby, he seems mad and with a heavy step goes back to the now very distant orange glow of the campfires.

I glance back and know who must be there in the distance, any place is better than going back.

As I enter a small well-sheltered spot in this forest where the foliage above is thick enough to prevent most of the rain to reach much of the ground, Lina springs to her feet throwing me a menacing stare, she is fixing up the rags on her chest.

"What are you doing here?" She quickly wipes away tears and bares her fangs, her claws almost seem to pop up from her fingers "You monster"

It's then that I just, let go of my war picks and sit down. The rain still falls heavy on top of me, and I prefer it that way. For long we simply remain quiet, she almost leaves but remembers what is happening over there and decides to sit down, we are three meters apart, and she hugs her legs, never taking her eyes off me.

And I glance at her from time to time, between looking at the mud and the nothingness. I feel like I should apologize, for what happened two nights ago at the lake, I open my mouth but no words come out. There is no point. Why apologize for anything at all when it will be empty, I will still use her as a tool, and if we have to raid again and they want to take humans as plunder I know I will have to allow it.

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The price of my ambition, which I don't dare to say I'm paying because this is nothing.

"What happened with Andrei?" I ask

"None of your business" She spits back at me, poisonous, full of rage.

"What do you try to achieve? You know whatever you two do it won't last" She doesn't respond "It's an empty fantasy"

"You know nothing about love"

"Love? Are you out of your mind?" I stand up, and her ears pull back, hissing at me "If that's what you hope for then you haven't lived enough as a slave"

"Shut up!" She stands up, her hands shaking.

"I heard the slap, and I saw you fixing your clothes, seems Andrei didn't get enough love from you" I take a step forward and she flinches but stands her ground.

"SHUT UP!" She growls, leaning forward as she slowly lowers her posture.

"He must be getting some real love from one of the humans back there, probably looking forward to it instead of your furry FUCKING self!"

Lina enraged and taking it no more, pounces at me. She slashes and cuts my face, I don't dodge even if I could have. I tackle her to the ground; One, two, three punches and she grabs me by the head, slamming it against hers before kicking me away with her feet so high I break the branch above us and as I fall, she hits me hard and sends me to the ground.

She rushes to me and I throw mud at her face, desperately she wipes it away but I'm already close to her and I punch her in the stomach, forcing her to fall on her knees. I kick her and she falls to the ground, but even if she is moaning in pain, she is not done.

As I did, she throws me a handful of mud and slashes my arms with her claws, I grab hold of her hand and bite it. She screams in pain and bites my ear, pulling it back hard as she forces me to let go of her or have it torn off. Then a kick makes me take a few steps back and with one quick punch, I fall face first on the mud.

I surprise her and tackle her against a tree, the back of her head hitting it hard and all air forced out of her lungs. I hit her again and again, on the stomach, on her raised arms as she tries to defend herself, but she reacts accordingly, she dodges and returns the punches when she can, quickly getting used to my barrage of hits and after five consecutive punches she throws me a few meters away with a slap on my ears that send indescribable pain to my brain and kicks me square on the chest.

With difficulty, I breathe in, wiping away the mud and blood from my bruised face I glance at her. She is already sobbing, but her expression, the mixture of pain and anger, doesn't show any sign of walking away.

"I'm going to e-end this!" She shouts and runs to me, tackling me once again on the ground beneath the now-opened spot in the foliage that lets the rain through.

As she sits on top of me the punches are continuous, again and again, left and right. I feel my nose break, after each hit the noise of the rain and her heavy huffing getting more distant, the image of the world around me getting dimmer by the blood soaking my eyes. Then she wraps her hands around my neck and squeezes.

I feel lightheaded. I look past her, at the dark clouds above...oh, the rain never felt so refreshing...

Fogosh.

Ismeina's burned house.

Everything I have already done.

My eyes snap open, wide and alert as I grab Lina's arms and force them away from my neck without much trouble. She tries her best, but I'm stronger, I have always been. I kick her away and this time she is thrown to the nearest tree. Hitting it hard and falling on the mud. I run to her and grab her by the neck.

Hitting her against the tree once more as I begin to choke her, she tries to push me away, her anger turning to desperation as she punches and kicks but I don't move away. Our eyes locked as she looks at me in fear, and I wonder what face am I making?... I slowly lessen my grip until I'm just resting my hand on her neck.

She coughs, our eyes still locked with each other and I feel all that energy, that momentary rush vanishes, and I lean forward, resting my head on her chest, finally, my hand slides down to my side as I let go of her neck.

I can hear her heartbeat, unsurprisingly it is fast, but I can hear it, the rhythm of it almost luring me to sleep right then and there. My mind is so tired, my body is so tired...I'm tired and...

"I'm sorry" I whisper.

I try to stand up and make some distance but trip and fall back, hitting the mud as I look at the night sky in silence. I can hear her lying on the ground as well. We remain silent once more, as we were when I intruded into this sanctum. Soon the sound of our heavy breathing ceases, and there is only the rain.

I just wanted to say it. Even if it is meaningless, to her and the world. For anyone to listen, anyone.

"If you are," she says, her voice croaky "Let them go, let those mothers go"

Closing my eyes I let the cold and hypnotizing rain consume all my sensation, slowly but steadily cleaning my dirtied body from the mud...wash it all away, everything...the noise disappears, it is so peaceful.

"Well, the men already had their fun so I guess it wouldn't be that bad" Jorr replies after I tell him to tie the hands of all the women together and drop them from the wagon.

It is the following morning, Lina looks at me, her eyes wide in shock, a bruise here and there but overall unharmed, and how could she be? I barely fought back with my real strength. The rain stopped as the sun rose, and now that it's morning the wagons are being pushed free from the mud so that we may continue our march back to camp.

The men were satisfied so after knowing having prisoners without a proper place to put them would be a pain they didn't complain about my orders, simply obeyed as they flashed smiles at the broken mothers.

"Do we just leave them here or?..."

"Go ahead, I will scout around her a bit longer to make sure we are leaving no trails behind"

"Fine, let's move!" Jorr shouts as my men obey and begin to leave.

Lina and I look at each other in silence, I can see a thousand thoughts running through her mind, but after a few seconds of hesitation, she offers a simple, yet with a bit of contempt nod, and walks away joining the rest of the men. I watch them silently vanish in the distance as the orange leaves fall around me.

Then I look at the four women tied together. Lina must think I'm going to let them go as she asked...but so close to the humans? So that they may return and give away the path we are taking? I want to free them, I didn't want to take them, to begin with...but I won't fool myself, what's done is done, and nothing I do will ever change it.

There is no path back from this darkness, no second chance. I have reached the bottom, and I will keep digging down if I must...I have already done so much.