I walk around them, each step heavy. I simply must stand between them, we have had this talk before, regarding the future of the camp. The men whose lives I must look after. The needs that must be fulfilled.

Hide it as I may, I'm lost.

Once I reach my spot on the table I rest my hands and take a deep breath. Two armies around us. Enemies at our necks. Hungry, wounded, disorganized. Like a whimpering wolf whose leg has been caught by a trap, awaiting for the hunter to come, knowing the man will kill us without hesitation.

I close my eyes, and the trance takes over.

This precious time can't be wasted, halted as it is, for now, I got more than the few seconds I had before. And so I travel.

To the past.

I see it all so clearly, each slash of my blade. Each trust of my spear. Every drop of blood that I have ever spilled, and every face of every man I have killed. What am I going to do?

Men are close to home, and they have the numbers and resources. Orcs are numerous and fearless...what do they have in common? Both are here for me. Both are led by someone who knows exactly where I am, and both want me dead more than anything else. One for Makur, and the other for Lina.

Those two. The man whose personality has helped me lead and gather everyone together, but now I face division among us, and what am I supposed to do? Then Lina...

How do I get us out of this? What can I do?

You know what you can do. It is the same you have always done.

The images of the past around me distort and change. Like the still waters of a pond after you throw a stone at it. And that stone is the fire, first of the cave entrance, where my life almost ended for the first time, and then, it is the fire of the house where I believed I could have had a good life.

What got you here? What lead you here?

A pair of eyes watch me from among the flames, that cursed voice. You, the creation of my fractured mind.

It is hatred. It is anger. Only it can save you, lead you.

I don't understand. You push me to be a monster, then you curse me for being one, what do you want me to do? When will I be able to stop feeling? I need to kill without remorse, to think like the beast I want to be. How else can I survive in this world? How else can I get a home? A kingdom.

The fires spread and swallow everything around me. And I see that which I have forced myself to not see. The butchering of that village. My figure moved from house to house under the cover of night, blood staining my body, and the beds of the sleeping men and women who I have killed. Their expressions of fear and shock when they felt the cold steel of my weapons penetrate their chests.

And I made sure to look at them in their eyes too. I wanted to see the life bleed out of them. Cursed humans who burned her, the woman who showed me compassion...forgiveness.

Forgiveness.

The face of the old man coughing blood washes away, and I see her once more. How long has it been? I can't...I can't remember her face anymore. I know it's supposed to be her but I can't make her face still! It's all a mist that barely holds together, why can't I see her?!

Oh, but as the flames grow stronger, the face turns into one I can see very clearly. Fogosh.

Everything fades away. For a moment it is all darkness, and his faint, mocking laughter. Then snow takes over, and the sound of running water. The white wolf approaches me, the one I would kill and feed from. The one I would wear.

I will feast upon it. Devour it until there is nothin' else. Only bones to crack when thrown into the fire. And then dust.

What do you mean? Devour what? My soul? I turn around and see there is no stream of water, but rather an endless sea. And there it stands the child, the kid I murdered, and behind him, the first soul I took from this world.

You take and take. Only then can you grow, can you survive. Don't you see? The fires are not around you for nothin'. Like them, you need the sacrifice of others.

But, I know this. I knew this the moment I torched the village! I...I...

Always a liar. Always a liar.

The children I left alive. Orphans. Who are likely dead. And the many others I have killed, the women my men took and raped. All of them appear like ghosts on the surface of the water.

You carry them, and they drag you down.

But I can't go on if I don't let them go. My mind is clouded, and I need to think clearly.

So I will devour them. And soil the snow with their dark blood.

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It's the only way. Only like this can I become the monster I need to be. Tools? No, they are not tools. They are fuel. Wood for the pyre that is my ambition. So that it grows strong and furious. Burn it away.

The wolf howls and the earth trembles as hundreds of shadow wolfs pounce at the ghosts in front of me. Tearing at their bodies without care. And the ghosts open their mouths to scream, but if they do, I do not listen. I can only hear the crackling of the flames. Even when my eyes look at her, the one who forgave me...what a foolish mistake.

"Boss?"

Jorr's voice makes me open my eyes. I'm back. But I didn't bring back with me anything new...or did I?

"The humans are coming from the west, and they are led by Andrei. Together with children carrying the golden sword" Their eyes open wide for a moment before they look at each other, all animosity between them momentarily over.

"Shit" Jorr is the first to speak up, hi hand brushes away his oily black hair from his face "How many?"

"Enough, they have bandits and many other men dressed in furs and wielding bows and crossbows" I see Nojus frown.

"Bandits and men with crossbows. I know them, those are the bastards that captured us" His hands turn to fists "Did any... have a silvery tail on them?"

"None that I could see" He relaxes at this.

"Great, more problems to deal with, what we need are solutions," Jorr says standing up and pressing a finger against the table "I lead raids against others before, not had to defend a place"

"Maybe it is best we leave then, maybe through the mountains and into the Endless Green" Nojur adds, clearly not keen on the idea.

"No," I say, there is a stillness in my voice. I am here, but not "We won't give an inch"

"Then what do we do? How can we fight two armies at once?" Jorr is staring at the table, his mind likely going through a thousand ideas to get us out of this.

"The orcs are far from home, and they have seen what we are capable of, so they will be more wary. But they have not yet crossed the waters, have they?"

"No, not yet. But we are running out of time" Jorr replies.

"We make it so they can't cross it. Let them build their bridge, reinforce it and man it. We will build a wall around the cliff. Box them in and use the Huani to fill them with arrows from dawn to dusk. This will also keep them away from the hobgoblins and in a position where escaping will mean death, so they can't just leave" I say the last bit looking at Nojus.

"...Yes, with enemies in front and...us behind them, it's unlikely they will try to escape"

"If they do, you kill them. But make it slow, discipline must be maintained, through fear if needed" My words make Nojus glare at me with a certain look, one that tells me he is about to refuse. I speak first "Understood? If you can't force them to obey and remain orderly I will find one who does" He stops "Because if I promise power to one of them, they will take it, and they will do anything to keep it"

My words hang there, my stare never once faltering against his. He knows Im right. Hot air blows from his nostrils and he nods. Then he turns around and storms out of the tent.

"...Alright, we contain one side. What about the humans?" Jorr asks.

"The humans don't know what we are capable of. Even if Andrei must have told them enough, they will only believe it when they see it. So we need to make a good first impression" I turn around and grab a map, spreading it on the table and pulling my dagger "The orcs have torched settlements in the border zone. But along the mountains, there are small mining villages past this spot, where they have made their camp" With the dagger I trace a path "We can use the road on the mountains to get around their camp and strike at one of those villages"

"That would take days, do we have that long? And what good would it do for us? Our forces are divided, and they are so close to their kingdom, I doubt they keep stockpiles of food when they can simply receive from the well-defended lands to their south"

"You and the hobgoblins will stay, I will take with me the wargs and the entire of the goblins to lead this attack. You are to harass the humans constantly, to keep them far from our camp for as long as possible until I return"

"I see...with the new men we could make them hesitate in their assault, but we are likely to lose men each day, and the more we lose, the more likely it is that they will simply charge at us with everything they've got. And I insist, there will be very little food to be had in those places"

"I will take five days, six at max. To go there and return, that is all the time that I need. And I will bring food, enough to fill everyone's stomach for the rest of the winter, I guarantee it"

"...Fine, but the new men are hungry and restless, you need to speak to them"

"I know. Gather them all in front of the tent"

Jorr nods and walks away. I'm left alone with my thoughts...or that is what I would like to say. There should be thoughts. Worry, fear, anxiety...yet there is nothing. No thoughts, only a strange stillness in my mind that I'm not used to. And just like that Jorr lets me know that they are ready, but he just left. How long have I been staring at this map with nothing in my head but an eerie calmness?

Stepping out of the tent I see the many new faces stare at me in much of the same way they did when they first laid their eyes on me. Anger, surprise, disgust, and even those that snicker and smile at each other. Like if I was just a kid playing with grown-ups. Lina stands nearby, Nojus is away gathering his Huani who look at us too.

All eyes on the camp are on me, good.

"What is he doin' 'ere?! We need a real chief to lead us!" One of the escaped slaves shouts and many fists raise in support.

"Listen, this goblin has-"

"You say I'm not strong enough to lead this war band?" I speak loud, my deep voice a surprise to many.

"Ye just a goblin" He replies, a scowl on his face.

I don't hesitate. In an instant, the distance between us is gone, and I tackle him to the ground, my fist smashes against his face only one time, but all stops are pulled. That skull shatters and explodes in a sudden discharge of gore that reaches anyone around us. A pair of hobgoblins try to react and get to me. I dance around them like the wind trying to be caught.

A broken arm, a body thrown away, and a torso are penetrated by my blade, the hobgoblin impaled by it moans in pain for a brief moment before twisting and circling him. The resulting motion almost cuts him in half, spilling his organs onto the snow as the agonizing man falls to the ground.

I look around and see their new expressions. Shock, surprise, and anger. But beneath all of them, Fear. Fear of that which doesn't belong. Of that which shouldn't be.

"I am the leader of this war band, and all of you will obey me and my men," I say walking to the closest hobgoblin, any pretense of defiance shatters as everyone walks away, except for the one hobgoblin I walk towards "Try to challenge, or betray me now. And I will kill you" I clean my blade on the dirty rags of the hobgoblin before putting it away.

Shoving my way past him I whistle and motion to the goblins on the palisades to gather. I look behind at Jorr, who has an interesting expression on his face. It is neutral, but too neutral, forced. It is Lina who carries her emotions on her skin, looking at me with worry, and the same underlying fear that the other hobgoblins now have.

I don't have time to earn their trust and their respect. No time to grind and fight for them if they don't think I am worth following.

If not their respect, then it will be their fear first that will make them listen.