The goblins cheer and hack the corpses of the felled men with glee, Fogosh simply walks up to one of the carts and looks for something to eat. Some of the goblins don't even try to cut the bodies, directly eating their flesh from their arms and faces.

Dubby walks up to me as I step down from the torn-open corpse beneath my feet. Wasting no time digging his hand into the still-warm entrails, taking his organs to his mouth, like a child eating a mouthful of cake he smiles at me.

I throw up.

My hands shake and I lose grip on the hatchets, my knees are weak, are they looking at me? Were their eyes so red? Where am I? Are those flowers I see?

I can't stay here, I run away into the woods as if a demon followed me close behind, but I know it is no imaginary creature, it is a shadow, I can run as far as I want but no matter what, it is stuck with me, it is a part of me.

This bloodied fur and leather are suffocating me, I take it out, I take it out all out, and throw it away in a desperate attempt to breathe again, how long have I been holding my breath? Once I only have these shoddy leather pants and fur boots I feel like I can breathe again but it's extremely hard, I can only take small breaths, and I'm left in a state of suffocating and barely getting enough air to not drop to the ground.

My sweat is cold, my chest hurts and there is a ringing in my head that won't stop. Oh, my head feels like it's about to explode, how lucky would I be if it did.

This time, I have no excuse. There was no other force, no need for me to do things how I did them, to be as brutal as I was...as monstrous. I felt it creeping in and I allowed it. The pain grows to the point that I press my hands against my face in agony.

I fall to my knees, and the pain begins to lessen, as my breathing normalizes.

"Coward"

I look around, the little peace I was desperately holding onto melting away from my grasp as I stand up, there are only woods as far as I can see I can't even hear the goblins, how far did I run?

"You are an idiot, and imbecile"

Someone is speaking to me, it is a man, where is he?

"Down here, you fucking bastard"

I look at the ground, and the empty sockets of the white wolf greet me. It is the fur I just threw away. Am I losing my mind?

"You wished it was that easy. I am a demon, fucking idiot"

A demon?

"Yes, what did you expect? Bat wings and horns? You really have shit for a brain don't you?"

What do you want? What are you doing here? And why are you speaking to me?

"Well, whiny little bitch, I've come to help you out a bit. Watching you fuck up has been a joy ride the likes I haven't had in ages, and if all that fun goes to waste because your wee little mind is broken by your dumb fuck morality I will have fun no more"

Help me? How can you help me?

"It was me, Ushkur. I did that, not you"

What do you mean?

"Back there. When you beautifully murdered those guards. Do you really think that you would be able to pull off a beauty like that? HA! Get off your high horse"

You did that? But it was I who-

"Shut the fuck up for a moment! I just told you! It was ME! Now shut your mouth and listen to me! Do you think that you will survive what's to come if you go around feeling bad for every insignificant human you butcher? They would do the same to you if given the chance"

Then why, why are you speaking to me? If you are a demon then you must want something, and I have nothing to give you.

"I just told you, idiot. Watching you suffer is the most fun I've had in such a long time...a human trapped within the body of a goblin HAHAHA!"

Do you know that? How do you-

"Someone is coming, do not share my existence with anyone else, Ushkur. If you want to make a deal with me and suffer no more, then as far as anyone is concerned...I do not exist"

My ears pick up on the noise of feet walking on the snow as I turn around and see Dubby, his mouth still dirty with dripping blood, walking towards me, carrying the hatchets I dropped.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

"Ushkur sick? Not possible, Ushkur mighty! Killed many!" He smiles, rushing to my side and taking a glance at our surroundings, noticing I was half naked "Ah, hot after battle, of course!"

Dubby dropped the weapons and began scooping balls of snow with his hands, smashing them on my back as I simply stood there perplexed.

"Ugh, an idiot more idiot than you. Perfect"

I placed a hand on Dubbie's shoulder, mainly because I had no energy to tell him to stop, he seemed to understand something else however, and quickly grabbed everything on the ground, throwing my arm over his shoulder and guiding me back to the road I returned to the carnage.

The feast was mid-way through, and the remaining goblins ate with wild abandon while Fogosh sat on top of a barrel, a half-eaten apple in hand, he watched me with the usual disdain. My breathing quickens as I take in the hellish scene in front of me.

"I did that, quit your bitching"

The demon's words affected me. Like if a second skin grew around my heart and the sight of the carnage suddenly became less horrible than I originally thought.

I gathered my things and rejected Dubbie's attempt at sharing a half-eaten arm with me. Fogosh ordered the quick gathering of weapons and then ordered me to guide the horses back to the camp. I wondered if he also knew how to guide the animals, otherwise, how did he plan for us to carry all that back?

The journey to the camp was shorter than what it took to get to the road, a day and a half later we had returned to the surprised faces of the orcs and goblins, the latter cheering excitedly when they saw what we brought back.

On the road back we lost a couple of goblins to their injuries and my lack of proper medicine to treat them, so we were now less than a dozen in the camp. Orokur led the horses to join with the rest, eying me suspiciously after noticing it was I who led them.

Makur greeted both of us joyfully, he was more than proud of what we had obtained and ordered a feast to be made that night, to which everyone cheered. He then took Fogosh to his tent, I supposed he was supposed to inform him of my performance, after all, Makur said he would be watching me.

I was tired, and I went straight to my tent, it was the same where I was kept prisoner, except that it now had a bedroll, a small table, and an oil lamp that while I didn't need with my great vision in the dark, It brought me comfort.

For a few hours, I lay on the bedroll, thinking about everything and nothing. My mind simply went through the events that had led me up to this point, and my encounter with the demon. I remembered Ismeina telling me how the voices of the damned whispered to her words of bloodshed and sin.

Who was this demon? And for how long has he been with me?

A scent travels inside my tent, a smell that I had grown familiar with. Maeld entered my tent carefully, I had my back turned on her, I couldn't bare to look at her after what I had done.

"Are you wake?" she whispered, her sweet voice forcing me out of my shell as I turn around and sit on the bedroll, I advert my eyes after I look at her face and the color of her hair makes me see Ismeina's daughter "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you...I wondered if you found more, medicine"

She sounded conflicted, was it so difficult to ask for something she wanted? Or didn't feel comfortable enough to speak with me casually? I stood up and walked up to a nearby small chest I kept hidden behind the wolf fur. My hands hesitate as I lock my eyes on it, a reminder of the demon.

But soon I move it away and open the chest, back when we were getting the carts ready to leave the road Dubby found a small bag with herbs and he offered it to me after sniffing it and hating its stench, It seemed one of the guards carried it with him, to be precise the nervous guard that abandoned his companion when they were surrounded by goblins. It was thankfully intact.

Maeld's eyes widened in surprise as I held the bag in my hands.

"I-Is that?" she pointed at it, expectingly, I nodded and she rushed inside the tent, kneeling in front of me and carefully grabbing it from my hands, she offered me an awkward smile that did little to mask her excitement "This is it, I could make this last for up to a month...Thank you!"

I was surprised, not only by those words but by the unexpected hug that came right after, it was hard, and the way her scent invaded my very being was intoxicating.

"But, won't you need some of this to make more?" She asked me, breaking the embrace and looking at me directly, the fear and uncertainty seemingly, gone completely.

"I took some of it out, when spring comes and the plants grow, I can make more"

Maeld smiles broadly, and for a moment it seems she will hug me again, maybe I'm imagining it after all the closeness of her flesh and the warmth of her body is all that occupies my mind right now. But she looks back, stands up, and quickly leaves.

I suppose that is everything for the night, and since I don't plan on joining the rest on their feast I lay on the bedroll again, Maelds smell sticking to me I find myself sleepy and ready to close my eyes when the tent opens and she returns, carrying two buckets.

"Let me wash you, to be honest, you smell pretty bad" she cheerfully entered and moved a nearby stool in front of me.

I want to refuse, I can't let her soil her hands with someone like me, someone who has killed of her kind with such brutality...but there is no way I can refuse, so I undress, trying to calm the beating in my heart as my eyes wander uncontrollably to the most alluring parts of her body.

Maeld simply chuckles, Is she aware of the effect she has on me? Does she enjoy it? My thoughts are melted away as her hands go over my skin, the cold water of the wet towel not bothering me in the slightest as I await the warmth of her fingers, hardening in an instant with no shame at all as the pasts days have weighed so heavy in my heart that this, this is heaven.

But there is enough lucidity for an important question.

"Why?" I ask "Why did you do this the first time? And why are you doing it now?"

"To be honest, I thought you were a demon" She replies after a few seconds of silence "Which is dumb, if you were a demon no one could see you, but I just needed something to believe in...and at the end, you are someone I can believe in, right?"

I nodded. A demon? I wondered if she had some knowledge about them, but before I could ask her tender hands going down my abdomen shut any hope of making coherent sentences, so I remained silent and she continued talking.

"And I'm doing it now...because I'm thankful. You didn't forget about looking for medicine for me, and I believe you when you say you can make more. You are a talking goblin, so also being an herbalist? It doesn't seem impossible anymore, Ushkur the wonder goblin" she giggles as her hands make my whole body tremble lustfully the moment she grabs a hold of my hardened manhood.

"R-Rokan" I manage to make only a weak whisper.

"Rokan," she says, her words like honey that entrance me and her eyes, a seductive stare that I do not care if it's my imagination.