It was a long drive to Wisconsin, and they were only on their first few hours. The car had been a new addition, and Artemis had disposed of the credit card he used to buy it. It was second hand, but it was nice.
That amount of money might be noticed by the bank. He was in the passenger seat, head resting against the window. The window was cold compared to the heated air in the car. The world was dark outside, a small sliver of the moon visible.
He’d fallen asleep once in the back and then woken up screaming. He'd been sitting in the front for an hour, trying not to fall asleep again.
Benny spoke up, “We need to talk about this.”
“Yeah?” Artemis said, no inflection on the words
“Yeah.” The steady hum of the car filled the silence, “Look, I think you’re going too fast. A few days ago you were- You were almost raped in an ally.”
Artemis started, “That wasn’t- it wasn’t that. He was pushy, sure but….”
Not-Alastair snickered in the back, “I mean, you were asking for it kiddo.”
Benny stared ahead, calm, “You’re just too used to it. To all of it, to pain, to people using you.”
Artemis didn’t have anything to say to that.
“How old are you?”
Artemis shrugged, “Including Hell, Twenty seven.”
“Yeah, no offence, I’m not gonna count years of you being tortured in Hell as growing up. Excluding that, how old are you?”
Artemis shrugged, shrinking into himself, “I should be sixteen by now.” He hadn’t thought about that for a while, his age. He hadn't thought about himself as a whole person in a while.
Benny looked at him pleadingly, “Artemis, a sixteen year old shouldn't be making excuses for people double your age, torturing you. That shouldn’t be your first concern.”
He sounded young when he spoke next. He hated it. “I don’t know why I’m like this. I just don’t know. Everything you’re saying makes sense, but… I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He dug his fingernails into his palm, fighting down the wave of anger towards himself.
The older man said nothing for a good moment, “It ain’t not your fault. You’re too young for all this shit anyway.”
“Hmm.” Was all he said.
Benny took one hand off the steering wheel, and wrapped an arm around Artemis’s shoulder and pulled him into his side. The seats were separate and something jabbed his side as he leaned into Benny but it was worth it, he relaxed somewhat, something in his chest feeling warm. He was okay. This was okay.
----------------------------------------
It took them four days to get to Wisconsin, using the bank account Artemis had opened. Now it was eight o’clock at night and he’d asked Benny to stay back, because now that he was here, everything was so much harder. It felt closer.
Dear god, it was cold here.
Another quick conversation with Castiel told him what motel they were staying at, hands stuffed in his pockets, air misting around him.
He was in the car park outside the motel wearing a black jacket and black cargos, blue eyes peeking out from the fringe he had developed. It didn’t look bad, despite the fact he hadn’t had a haircut in a month.
He knocked and tried his best to look casual.
The door opened and a young guy answered the door, floppy hair down to his shoulders and unusually tall, “Hi, can I help you?”
“Sam, right?” Artemis didn’t really ask.
Sam squinted, “Sorry, do I know you?”
Artemis didn’t answer because Dean hurriedly made his way to the door at that exact moment, pure shock emanating from him, “Artemis?”
“Hi.” He smiled, “I thought I’d stop by.”
Sam turned around to look at Dean, “Want to introduce me?”
“I-uh.” Artemis saw Dean reach into his jacket surreptitiously. He pretended not to notice., “Yeah.” That was when Artemis got a face full of, what was probably holy water. It tingles on his skin, that couldn’t be good.
Artemis blinked, water dripping down his face, “I’m not a demon. Anymore.”
The hunter glanced at the table and Artemis sighed, then said, “Oh, for-god-sake, run your tests so we can get this bit over with.”
Dean took a silver knife out of a duffle-bag
Sam was pissed, “Dean who the fuck is this?”
“That's what I’m trying to figure out.” He made a cut in Artemis’s arm. Artemis just stood there with a bored disinterest.
Dean looked up at him, with a dawning realisation, “It’s actually you.”
Artemis grimaced, condescending, “Yeah.”
“You’re not dead.”
“I don’t think so.” It was clear cut sarcasm this time.
Sam cleared his throat, arms crossed.
“Uh, this is Artemis.” Dean said shiftily, with a false air of confidence, “He’s a friend of mine. He moved forward, past Sam and out of the door, “Sorry Sam, catch you later, we should catch up.” He flashed a smile and led Artemis away into the car park.
“Dean- godamn it.” Was all Artemis heard from Sam as they walked away, then the door slammed.
Once they were out of view Dean spun on him, and gripped his arm in a friendly gesture that evolved into a hug, “You have no idea how glad I am to see you.”
Artemis initially flinched at the gesture, bracing for pain but then leaning into the hug, the other man a reassuring line of hard muscle, “It's good to see you too.”
Dean pulled back, “How are you even here?”
“An angel tossed me out of Hell. Ended up back in Purgatory with a friend of mine, a vampire. We found our own way from there.” Artemis’s smile was strained, why did he want to cry?
Dean tilted his head, “Sure you can trust a vamp? It's not exactly human.”
Artemis felt a real anger burning in his chest, “Dean, shut the fuck up.”
Dean put his hands up placatingly, “Okay, got it, he’s your fluffy vampire and he wouldn't hurt a fly.”
He shook his head with a sinister grin, “Oh, I didn’t say that.”
“That is ominous; you know that?” Dean said.
Artemis inclined his head in a ‘thank you’ gesture.
Dean rubbed the back of his neck in a nervous gesture, “Do you want to talk somewhere? Get a drink?”
“I’m sixteen. No, I don’t want a drink.” Well, except he did, he really wanted to be drunk right now.
Dean awkwardly looked to the side, “Yeah. Okay. O-kay. Yup.” He clicked his tongue, “Cool, cool, cool.”
“Are you… malfunctioning?”
Dean shrugged, discombobulated, “You’re sixteen.”
“I am.”
Dean shook his head slightly, “Sorry, you just always acted older.”
Artemis appraised him, “Is this what talking to you is going to be like from now on? Extraordinarily slow?”
“What- no- I was just- Never mind. There should be an all night cafe somewhere in this city.” He took off, muttering to himself indignantly.
Artemis grinned at the immaturity.
----------------------------------------
The lights were yellow and the place was sparsely populated by teenagers tapping away at laptops.
They sat in the back. Dean had sobered slightly, his mood becoming more morose. At least that's what Artmeis thought, but he was never known for his ‘people skills’. Artemis coulfn’t look Dean in the eye, he kept remembering Hell. Dean cutting him with a scalpel, beating, burns. The ghost of blood cloyed air filled his mouth and he felt dizzy.
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
“When did you get out?” The older man asked.
“A few weeks ago.” Artemis said, “You?”
Dean shrugged, “A few weeks ago.”
Artemis tapped the table, at a loss. The man made him feel on edge. Too many memories.
Dean had locked him with a scrutinising stare, “And you came here?”
He suppressed a yes sir and instead said, “Obviously.”
“You don’t have any family to catch up with? What about your brothers?”
“My family are currently under the impression that I’m dead. I wouldn’t mind keeping it that way for a little longer.” Artemis tried to keep his voice flat.
Dean stared at him, “You’re going to let them think you’re dead?”
Artemis curled in on himself, “It’s probably better that way. It’s safer too.”
“You’re such a dick.” Dean said, resigned.
Artemis wouldn’t meet his eyes, “I can’t deal with it right now, I just can’t Dean. How do I even explain- I keep having these panics. I see it when I sleep, if I sleep, I just-. It’s not an option right now.”
Dean softened slightly, “Alright. Fair enough. I’m struggling enough with just Sam, I know that. He won’t stop asking questions.”
Artemis leant in, “Does he know?”
Dean’s voice lowered, “I told him I don’t remember Hell. Somehow, I don’t think he believes me.”
“Hmm.” Artemis didn’t know what to say to that.
Dean caught his eye, “Don’t say anything to him. We met on a case, got it?”
Artemis leaned back, “Sir, yes sir.” He said playfully, then crossed his arms “But he’ll think this is weird.”
“Yeah, well, it is pretty weird.” Dean said.
That was when Artemis’s coffee came, and Artemis and Dean went quiet as the waiter placed the cup down.
“Thank you.” Artemis said, without smiling. He’d faked a smile one too many times today.
She smiled however, “Your welcome.” and walked away.
Artemis took a breath “How have you been since…?”
Dean’s posture sagged, “I’ve been having nightmares. Can’t sleep without a bottle of whiskey anymore. What about you?”
Artemis shrugged, “Fine.”
“Fine?” Dean asked incredulously.
“Yeah, fine.”
Dean “I pour my heart and soul out and you’re… fine?”
“You literally said two things.” Artemis deadpanned.
Dean gestured in an, exactly, motion bringing his hands down, “Which is a lot for me.”
Artemis shrugged, then considered the question. “What am I supposed to say?”
Dean shrugged, “I don’t know; how you've been? It’s not a test.” He laughed, “Jesus, I’m starting to sound like Sam.”
“Tired mostly.”
Dean frowned, “Not been sleeping much?”
He shook his head, “No, it's not that.” He took a moment to think, “I’m not used to feeling like a whole person.” He wrapped his arms around his middle, “If I was doing something, its because Alastair wanted me to do it. If I was thinking about something, it would be about how he’d react to it. If I was feeling something, it was because he wanted me to feel that way.”
Dean watched, quiet.
Artemis lowered his gaze to the table, “Now when I think about things, I have to think, how would that affect me? Not guess how Ali would react. I don’t even know who I am anymore and I've got to decide what I want. It's exhausting. What should I do all day? what do I eat? What do I wear? What should I say?”
He looked up for some reaction. Dean waited a few moments, then said, “I get that. My Dad always told me to protect Sammy. Carry on the family business, hunting. I don’t know if I even want to be doing this.” It was a warm quiet moment, and Artemis found himself relaxing.
Artemis sipped his coffee, “What are your nightmares about?”
Dean glanced up at Artemis, like he knew something Artemis didn’t. “The things I did in Hell, mostly. To other people.”
Artemis nodded. In the back of his mind, he was quietly ashamed that most of what kept him up at night was his own torture. Because, he’d done things in Hell, terrible things. Artemis bounced his knee under the table. Alastair never liked that. “It wasn’t your fault Dean, the entire system is set up that way. You never could have changed it.”
Dean shrugged, “I shouldn’t have broken so quickly.”
Artemis blinked, “Thirty years Dean. That's incredible. I snapped after five, and by that I mean my mind snapped, you were still somehow intact.”
Dean shook his head, “You were just a kid-”
Artemis interrupted him, “You can’t hold yourself to higher standards than the rest of us. You didn't have a choice.” It was funny being on the other end of a conversation like this. It was also odd, to hear what other people worried about, what bothered them about the same experience. With him, it was all about control and self worth. With Dean? All about guilt and the people he’d hurt.
Dean relented, “Maybe”, a small smile creeping through his features, seeming more real than any of his dazzling grins, “So are you going to stick around?”
He cast a glance over, “I figured I would, is that…? Do you…?” He struggled to get the question out.
“Yeah, you can stay anytime.” The older man said, and Artemis was glad for his flippance, “We’re on a case right now, feel like helping?”
Artemis sighed, “That really is a relief because I’ve been wanting to die lately and I really need something to distract me. Wait, are you hunting a creature because its not human or…”
Dean blinked, “We're- uh, hunting down a shape-shifting serial home-invader slash rapist.”
“Sounds fair.” Artemis said, “What do you have so far?”
Dean looked like he was trying to hold in a smile, “If this were a heist movie, this is where the scene would cut. Then there’d be a montage with spy music.”
Artemis rolled his eyes.
----------------------------------------
The walk back to the room was amiable and joking. Artemis couldn’t say he’d behaved like that around many other people.
The motel room was carpeted, a small table in the corner, with horrible floral wallpaper and two beds.
Sam was sat on the table, eyes glancing up from his laptop.
Dean put a hand on Artemis’s shoulder, “This is Artemis. We met on a case a few years ago, he’ll be tagging along for this one.”
Sam tilted his head, “People don’t ‘tag along’ for cases. How old is he, even?” He glanced at Artemis, “No offence.”
“None taken,” Artemis said.
Dean glared at Artemis, “Thanks for the support, Art, really.”
Artemis shugged, “Your welcome,” and walked over to lean on the wall by the sidelines.
Sam eyed the way the two interacted and Dean just sighed, “He’s capable and he knows about this shit.”
“You know, how capable he is, isn’t my main concern Dean.” Sam ground his jaw, “It’s that he is a child. What is he, twelve?”
“Sixteen.” Artemis chipped in.
Sam almost smiled, “Sorry, sixteen years old.”
“It's quite alright.” Artemis said, amicable and still unconcerned.
If Dean had been open to any kind of conversation around this before, he had completely shut down, “Sam drop it. He won’t be doing anything dangerous, now can we get him up to speed?”
Sam raised an eyebrow, “Okay then, you guys met on a case? What case?”
Artemis and Dean both answered at once,
“Vampires-”
“Banshee-”
Sam gave a look that Dean identified as bitchface #17. “And what was that earlier about Artemis not being a demon, anymore,”
Artemis let an easy smile wash over his features, “That was a joke”
“Doesn’t seem like a normal joke.” Sam pointed out.
“It was.” Artemis lied.
Sam gave him an incredulous look, “Okay then, if that's what you’re going with.”
“It is.” Artemis said.
Dean approached a wall, where a spider-web of crime scenes and suspects were pinned to the plaster. “We’ve had three home invasions and one murder. In each case the shapeshifter escaped and the original was arrested. There’s been a bank robbery this week, it fits the pattern. We’re gonna check out the crime scene tomorrow.”
Artemis nodded, a bit bored, and more awkward, “Cool. How’d you figure it was a shapeshifter?”
Sam answered, “Cameras can pick up certain types of light. Shapshifters eyes glow white in footage. We think. Well, it's happened, like, twice, so… we’re hoping the pattern holds.”
Artemis doubtfully nodded, “Good. Solid.”
Dean sat heavily on a bed, “It’s all we’ve got.”
The boy was very clearly trying to be nice about this, “So we go to the bank and…?”
“Have a look around.” Dean finished lamely.
Artemis spoke, “Couldn't we just… hack them?”
Sam and Dean looked at eachother, and Sam said, “Well, we don't really know how to…” And Artemis realised he’d made a misstep, of course they might not know how to hack a bank.
Dean shrugged, “It's easier to walk through the front door.”
Artemis inclined his head, “I suppose it wasn't ever an option for us. A teenage boy and a centaur walk into a bank; sounds like the beginning of a joke.”
Sam was looking at him funny, “Centaurs aren't real.”
Artemis grinned to himself, “Of course not. That would be silly. Shapeshifters in a bank though… perfectly normal.”
Sam looked at Dean and Dean looked at Artemis. Trying to decide if he was joking.
Dean opened his mouth, then closed it, “Are you serious?”
Artemis shrugged, “Let's say I'm not.” Artemis pushed away from the wall he was leaning on, “Okay, I'll meet you boys in the morning. When's the morning for you guys?”
Sam was still nonplussed, but decided to let it go, “uh, six thirty.”
Artemis shook his head, “Change of plans, I'll meet you at the diner down the road at ten. Which is a reasonable time.” He turned round, walking towards the door.
Sam spluttered, “You can't just reschedule-”
Dean interrupted his brother, “See you then. I needed to work on the car anyway.”
Artemis turned, mock-saluted and stepped out into the night.
----------------------------------------
Benny looked up and stood as Artemis came in. He’d had some things to sort out. For instance, how to use these ‘mobile phones’, as Artemis called them. Baffling.
The kid seemed tired, shoulders slumped. They’d been driving all day and the kid had insisted on going straight to see Dean, exhausted as he was.
Artemis walked straight up to him and buried his head in Benny’s chest.
“How’d it go?” He asked.
Artemis’s tired voice sounded muffled, against his chest, “Good. We’re going to a bank tomorrow. They think a murderous shape-shifter robbed it.”
“And Dean?”
Artemis sighed, “I told you, he’s nice. But… talking to him makes me feel weird. I… it makes me feel like I'm back there. Not in pain, just, in the break room or something. It does something to my head." The last few words were a broken whisper.
Benny carded his fingers through Artemis’s hair, “Okay. You’re okay now.”
Artemis let himself relax into the man’s hold for a minute before breaking away. He sat heavily on the bed and began to unlace his combat boots “He doesn’t trust you.” Artemis tugged the first boot off, it skidded into the wall,
“Oh?” Benny asked.
“He doesn't trust vampires. Or anything non-human.”
Benny was really trying not to judge, “I see.”
The second boot came flying off, leaving a scuff on the wall, “His father raised them like that.”
Benny snorted, “That’s generally how childhood works, Artemis. People aren't born bad, they learn it.”
Artemis rolled his eyes, “I know, I know, it's not an excuse.” Benny turned around as Artemis started getting changed. He heard Artemis speak behind him, “I didn’t used to be like this, you know. Now I feel like I’m confused all the time, nothing’s ever simple and I can never seem to get my head around what I should be feeling. It's like there’s this fog around me.”
Benny shrugged, retreating to his side of the room and getting changed, “Things are more complicated for you now. You went through something awful, you’re tired; give yourself a break.”
“Yeah. Yeah, maybe. I just hate it.” Artemis said. The moment Artemis was changed he crawled into bed, “Good night Ben.”
“Goodnight kid.” Benny flicked the lights off and got into bed. The soft sound Artemis's snores drifted across the room a few minutes after and he smiled.
----------------------------------------
HELL
Alastair sat opposite Lilith, she liked to take the form of an american ten year-old girl for some reason. It added to the effect he supposed, as she rearranged your innards. She wore a little blue dress.
He sat on an office chair but she sat on a creaking swing, the rusted frame taking up a good third of the room.
Lilith was the picture of an apologetic child, “We regret to inform you so late Alastair but the other do insist you leave the boy alone. They need him for some of the… theatrics.”
Alastair was so angry he was smiling, his neck cricking in that way, he rolled it to dispel the feeling, “He’s mine Lilith. He’s mine. I want him back.”
Lilith pouted, “Now that isn’t any way to treat your allies, is it? Didn’t mommy ever teach you to share your toys? You can have him back when we’re done playing, okay?” She really outdid herself with the creepy child performance. He could almost remember what fear felt like around her. Almost.
Alastair bit his tongue till blood started flowing, “Fine, for now. But I might visit.”
Lilith smiled widely, “Okay, as long as you know how silly that is. Because if you disobey me, I’ll just punish you forever. We wouldn’t want you to do anything silly, would we?” she tilted her head cutely. “Keep it to visits Ali. That might even help unbalance him. Oh, this is going to be so much fun. Don’t you think this is going to be fun?!”
“Fun for whom, exactly?” Alastair spat.
She put a finger to her lips, “Shh, can you hear that?” A great rumbling shook the corridors, “I think he heard you. This is his game, don’t be so mean Ali, or he’ll slice you~, and he’ll dice you~, and he’ll rip your soul apart.” She giggled, “That would be silly.”
Alastair looked below, disconcerted and left her office. He’d never liked this plan. He’d liked things as they were.