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Purgatory
Chapter 13: Hugs and Curses

Chapter 13: Hugs and Curses

Country music drifted through the diner, the floor tiled in red and black, a few people quietly sipping coffee in booths.

Artemis leaned forward, “Do you ever feel… cursed?”

Benny frowned, “Well, I was murdered, then turned into a vampire, and then murdered again... So, I guess so. Never really thought about it before.”

“Hmmm.”

“What’s this about?”

Artemis sighed, “I had a dream.”

“Yeah?”

“An angel told me to spy on someone.”

“Okay?” Benny said, confused.

Artemis continued, “Also, apparently for some reason, I’ll resume my slow descent into… well, being a demon if I don’t get treatment.”

“Okay…”

Artemis pulled a vial of swirling blue liquid gas out of his pocket, “I don’t think it was just a dream.”

Benny dropped his head down to the table, forehead resting on the laminate, “God Damn it.”

Artemis winced,“Yeah. His name’s Castiel.”

Benny spoke directly into the table, “And he’s only going to give you that stuff if you help him.”

“Well, he hasn’t asked me to do anything directly, yet. We have time.” Artemis said.

It was then when the waiter nervously approached, “Uh, a latte and a flat white.” eyeing Benny’s head which took up most of the table

Benny lurched upwards, “That’s us.”

The waiter set the tray down and walked away. Benny started spooning sugar into his coffee, “That settles it. We are cursed.”

Artemis grimaced.

“And do you know why? It's the cat, cats are bad luck. We fed it, now everything hates us!”

Artemis snorted, “Oh for god's sake. Not this again.”

Benny snorted and took a sip of coffee, “You- uh, Your neck, the bruises. Were they from…?”

Artemis stopped, “Yeah, it was just some guy. He got a bit carried away.”

Some emotion crossed Benny’s face, “You mean he assaulted you?”

“You could put it that way, I suppose.” Artemis said, cautiously. This was serious, and Alastair had never liked it when he disagreed on an important subject. A part of him recognised what he was doing, tip-toeing around authority figures. The other part felt comfortable sinking into these kind of behaviours.

Artemis looked up at Benny, “Can I tell you something?”

“Shoot.”

Artemis leaned back, eyes fixing at a point over Benny’s shoulder, “When I was growing up, I didn’t get much affection. I can’t remember if my father ever hugged me. My mother… she was always self occupied. And Butler was… he cared, more than the others, but still. That day, with the guy that did this,” He gestured to the bruises on his neck, “I’d been on my own for… at least two weeks and I… I just wanted someone to touch me. I didn't really need money and I didn’t want sex, I just…”

Benny sat back listening, eyes soft. He missed that, people listening. The older man slid along the circular booth until he was beside Artemis and wrapped an arm around Artemis, “I’m so sorry Artemis.” his other hand came up to tangle in Artemis’s hair.

Artemis breathed out, tension melting away, and he leaned into the hug. Apart from Alastair, he could count how many hugs he had received in his life, on one hand. He just felt so empty sometimes that it hurt. It would physically ache. Benny stroked his hair, arms tightly around Artemis, and something thawed in Artemis’s chest.

When they broke apart, Benny looked at him, no pity, just warm, “Would you like me to do that more often? I’ve been trying to give you space, but..”

Artemis nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, if… if that's okay.”

Benny slid an arm round his shoulder, “Of course it is. We’re friends, remember? I saved your life, you saved my life? Plus, hugs are one of the four best things in life.”

Artemis smiled, “What are the other three?”

“Good food, comfy beds and music. I am a man of simple tastes, tick at least two of those boxes and I’m happy.”

Artemis laughed, not a dry cynical laugh, a sound of pure joy.

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They were walking back.

“So?” Artemis started.

Benny tilted his head in question.

Artemis rolled his eyes, “We were going to hunt down your old nest and kill everyone. Are we still doing that?” It sounded like a trek, but if that was what Benny was going to do, he wouldn't allow him to do it alone.

Benny frowned, his tone not entirely serious, “I’m not being funny Artemis but I think you’re a bit too cracked to handle that right now.”

His hallucination of Alastair skipped next to them, “He means me.”

“Say it like it is, why don’t you?” Artemis said, the ghost of a smile tugging on his lip.

Benny shrugged, “Wasn’t important anyway. I can do it another time.”

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

“It is to you.” Came Artemis’s quiet voice.

Benny smiled, “Don’t worry about that Chere. Anyway, when are you planning on calling your family?”

Stair sounded too eager, “Oooh, yes, when do I get to meet the parents? Do you think~” He started, “that they would hate you now, or that they always hated you?”

Artemis felt his resolve crumbled, he was so tired, “I- I can’t right now. I can’t.”

Benny didn’t sound exasperated, just patient, “What do you want to do then?”

He wrapped his arms around his waist, “I don’t know. I’m sorry, I just don’t know.”

“Okay then.” Benny wrapped an arm around him, “That’s fine.”

“Reminds me of Alastair. Everything does. Jesus Fuck.” He said, because he couldn’t keep all this shit in his head, there just wasn’t the space.

Benny started to pull his arm away, but Artemis tugged on the arm there and Benny uneasily wrapped his arm back around the boy. Benny was looking at him, concern and confusion hiding in his expression. Artemis looked away, tucking his head into Benny’s side.

Artemis almost seemed surprised when he said, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I keep getting these… thoughts, I shouldn’t have, it's… I’m sorry.”

A few long moments of silence trundled on, “Chere, I’m not saying I understand. But keep telling me things like that. I want to help.”

Artemis nodded, knowing he didn’t have the energy to do anything else. Keeping it all in his head was exhausting him.

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Artemis was lying on his bed, trying to ignore ‘Stair’. That was when the shower switched on, the sound of cascading water drifting through the thin wall.

Stair chuckled, “Remember this? Take a deep breath Sweetheart.”

And suddenly he was somewhere else, arms and legs restrained, a cloth over his face, fighting for breath, Inhaling water in his desperation to breathe.

Then he was in his bed again, but the panic wouldn’t leave and neither would the flashes of memory. He lay there, breathing too fast, coming in and out of memories.

He barely registered the shower shut off.

“Artemis? Hey, it’s okay. You’re alright.”

A hand was on his shoulder and he flinched, but didn’t pull away, Alastair didn’t like it when he did that. His breath stuttered, “S-sorry.”

Rather than Alastair’s nasal tones, Benny answered him, “It’s okay kid. You’re alright.”

Tears started to fall and Artemis hurriedly wiped them away, still breathing manically.

Benny sat there with him, giving steady reassurances. Eventually he asked Artemis, “What happened there? Is there anything I can do?”

Artemis curled in on himself, “It’s the water. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t-” He buried his head into Benny’s shoulder, muffled gasps slowing. He was in the room, he wasn’t in Hell. And Alastair wasn’t here-

“I am here, even if I’m all in your head.” A nasal voice said.

Artemis’s eyes darted to the demon, breath picking up again.

Benny continued to try and calm him down again, but it was too late, “Hey, Artemis, can you hear me? It’s okay-”

Artemis let that fade away, eyes going blank, outwardly catatonic.

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When Artemis became aware again, he was sat up against the wall, sitting on the bed, propped up against Benny’s side. The man was stroking his hair. He felt safe and warm, and Benny smelt of sea salt and shirt was soft, and it was nice. He curled into the man’s side more.

“You with me kiddo?” Benny asked.

Artemis nodded into his chest, snuggling into the comforting feel of broad muscle

Benny’s voice was calm and friendly, “Good. D’you want me to stay here?”

He nodded again.

“Okay.” Benny said. They stayed there until Artemis fell asleep, warm and safe.

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It was odd to have Benny around. Having the approval of an authority figure that wasn’t Alastair or his father was… nice. No, not an authority figure as such. Perhaps. More, a friend, or…

Butler had really tried the last few years, but he had been too cold when Artemis was growing up. So had even his mother, now that he thought about it.

It was also worrying that all those people were in the same box in his head.

He supposed it was better than what he’d been doing before, projecting his need for approval and validation onto the random men he sold sex to. Was it?

He could not believe he’d just thought that.

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It hadn’t taken much effort to use a library computer to hack into a bank and open an account with five thousand dollars in it. He’d start small, they’d never notice, he’d covered his tracks well and it was only a drop in the ocean.

Alastair had wondered off that morning, declaring him boring,

After that, he’d ordered a card, then bought a computer. Okay, so it was a little harder without access to the family funds, but he managed.

From there social security cards weren’t that difficult to forge. Benny got a job to, in his words, ‘re-integrate’. On the first day, he came home to Artemis tapping away at the computer, legs crossed on his bed.

He glanced at Artemis, who was completely engrossed in his work, “What’re you up to?”

“Research.”

Benny sighed, “On?”

Artemis finally looked up, “The man Castiel asked me to spy on, Dean Winchester.”

“And?”

Artemis laughed, “Twenty eight years old and he already has an entire FBI file dedicated to him. A charming narcissist according to the lead investigators. Dangerous and delusional are also words mentioned more than once.”

Benny frowned, “Sounds like you shouldn’t go anywhere near him then.”

“It’s fine, I’ve met him before.” Artemis said, “He’s quite nice.”

“How’s that?”

Artemis faltered slightly, “We uh… met in Hell.”

Benny crossed his arms, “Uh-huh, and how exactly did you meet him?”

Artemis seemed to shrink in himself slightly, “I don’t think that’s important.”

“And yet I’m still asking.” Benny raised his eyebrow.

“He was an intern, he was helping Alastair with… when I first got there he was helping with… me.” He didn’t want to say it. Not outright. Because he liked Dean, and he didn’t want to acknowledge it.

Benny sat next to him on the bed, “He hurt you?”

Artemis shrugged, “He’s fine really. Towards the end of my captivity he got a bit… nasty with me, but it was fine after I stopped fighting them.”

Benny breathed out slowly, “You really don’t see the issue with this?”

“I know how it sounds-”

“Artemis, you don’t get angry at anything these people for what they did to you. It’s like you don’t register it as… wrong.”

Artemis looked down, “He didn’t have a choice. And he’s had a hard life.”

Benny shook his head, “You shouldn’t be finding excuses for him.”

“They’re not excuses-”

“It doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t- He’s a fully grown man, you shouldn’t feel like you have to even consider his feelings, it’s not your job to look after him.” Benny took a breath and the earnest desperation was softened by an undertone of humour. “If someone broke both your legs, you wouldn’t think, ‘they must be having a hard day’. You’d think ‘shit, my legs are broken’, then, ‘fuck that guy’”

Artemis shrugged, “I… Yes, I suppose.”

Benny deflated, and waited for something more than that.

He looked down again, “I still need to… I might as well catch up with him. It’ll make it less weird later.”

“This isn’t a good idea, we’ll find another way.”

Artemis closed the lid of the computer in his lap, “Just… Can you help me? I don’t want to do this alone.”

“Okay kid. Okay.”

Artemis crossed his arms, “And don’t act unnecessarily aggressive.”

Benny squinted at him, “I would never.”

“Oh god. You’re going to anyway.”

Benny nodded, “Oh yeah.”

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It had taken a lot of work to figure out precisely nothing. The Winchesters were ghosts.

That was when he’d had an idea. An obvious idea. “Castiel?”

There was a swooping sound and suddenly he wasn’t alone in the room. Castiel, in a suit, trench-coat, expression steely. He said nothing.

He cut straight to the chase, “Where’s Dean?”

Castiel smiled, “Milwaukee, Wisconsin.”

“Okay. Bye then.” He said awkwardly, hoping that he could just flap away quickly.

Castiel did not flap away, “You’re going to cooperate then?”

“We’ll see.” Artemis said.

Castiel’s expression turned stormy, “You will.”

“If I do,” Artemis asked, “Will you protect my family?”

Castiel tilted his head, “It is not necessary. The British isles has an… alternative arrangement. Its borders are protected.”

“By you?” Artemis asked

Castiel almost sounded offended, “No, we are not permitted entrance.”

Artemis laughed, “Someone won’t let you in?”

“There are,” Castiel was definitely angry, “wards in place.”

“You don’t have jurisdiction, do you?” He mocked.

Castiel clenched his jaw, pulled him up from his chair, and slammed him against the wall, “I can handle you the same way your old master used to. I can hurt you. You will comply.”

And then Castiel was gone with a whooshing sound. And he was left alone, breathing heavily, leaning against the wall.

Wisconsin.