The moment they reached the hotel Artemis realised he should probably use a local accent, the last thing he needed was to be identified as a pale Irish boy with hetero-chrome eyes. Benny gave him an amused look as he reproduced a perfect facsimile of Benny’s accent.

Artemis shrugged, “I don’t want to be memorable.”

“Whatever you say, Chere.”

Something occurred to him, “Sorry, I only booked one room with two beds, I can go back and…” He hadn’t wanted to sleep unguarded, so he hadn’t even thought-

“It's good Chere, it’d be a little weird to sleep without someone else there after this long,” Benny admitted.

Artemis relaxed and they made their way to the room, Artemis unlocked it with a jingle of keys. Benny left for the bathroom immediately, in desperate need of a shower. He showered after, flecks of dirt and sweat washing down the drain.

He changed into a pair of boxers and a loose T-shirt and walked back into the room.

Benny frowned, “Kid, your neck.”

Artemis cursed under his breath, his neck was bruised from a few nights prior, “It’s nothing.”

A thoughtful look passed over his friend’s face, “Alright. You can tell me anything if you want to, you know that don’t you?”

Artemis smiled, “I do.”

Benny hummed to himself in satisfaction and climbed into bed, “It’s odd being here. I almost miss Purgatory for some god-forsaken reason.”

“I know what you mean. Curious.” He remarked, getting into bed and lying on his side. The bed was too soft, as usual. After half an hour he sat up, got out of bed, and cocooned himself on a blanket on the floor. Benny didn’t say anything.

----------------------------------------

HALLUCINATION, ARTEMIS GOES OUT

Artemis woke when it was still dark, jolted by a car zipping by the building. Benny was still asleep.

And then, a nasal voice from his nightmares sounded, “Old habits die hard, huh kiddo?”

He jumped, sitting bolt upright, eyes widening with horror to see Alastair, leaning on the wall arms crossed, yellow snake eyes watching.

Benny woke when he gasped, looking around frantically, “What is it?” He asked. Benny was looking straight past Alastair.

“Did you not-?” Artemis cut himself off.

Benny, still bewildered, didn't see Alastair standing in front of him, “What’s wrong Artemis?”

Artemis settled back, his nerves fraying , “Nothing, never mind, I think I was startled by a car.”

Benny frowned but settled back too.

Alastair suddenly blipped out of existence and appeared closer, “Oh my, it seems you’re losing your mind, it was bound to happen eventually.”

Alastair was exactly how he’d been in Hell, which didn’t fit, he would need an earthly vessel to come here. And Alastair couldn’t just… apparate from place to place, he could fly in his pure form, a yellow streak of light. Artemis was… hallucinating.

Not only that, but he was hallucinating for extended periods in image and audio. It was almost unheard of. It could be indicative of schizophrenia or god forbid a urinary tract infection. It wasn’t a commonly known fact, but a large portion of hallucinations were caused by UTIs.

This version of Alastair pouted, “Oh darling, don’t sulk. Surely the fun part of hallucination is the scintillating conversation.”

Artemis turned over, ignoring the mirage, shutting his eyes tight.

Several restless minutes passed before his hallucination of Alastair started talking again, “Don’t ignore me. I’m bored.” He said it like it was a great injustice.

Artemis ignored him. It was at this point that Alastair started singing a song Artemis had once heard, ‘I want it that way’, out of tune and out of time. Artemis was sure it was on purpose.

“You are my fire~” Came a nasal tone.

Muttering, Artemis got up and got changed.

“My one desire~”

When Benny asked, “What are you doing Chere?”

“Believe when I say~”

He said, “Can’t sleep, I’m going out.”

“I want it that way~”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Benny asked slowly.

“Tell me why~!”

Artemis hadn’t heard what he said, too distracted by the singing, “Sorry, what?”

Benny said it slower this time, “Do you want me to come with you?”

Artemis shook his head, already formulating a plan, “No, I just need to think.” He stepped out and shut the door before Benny could respond.

The air cool outside in the open-air walkway, he stomped down the wooden stairs of the raised platform.

“Ooh, where are we going?” Not-Alastair asked.

“What are you?” Artemis asked.

“A hallucination kiddo, you’re losing your mind~” The demon practically sang.

He scrubbed a hand over his face, “How do you even know that?”

Not-Alastair shrugged, “I’m not sure actually; you could write a paper on that. ‘My hallucinations and me.’ It sounds like something that Dr Argon would do, dosen’t it?”

Artemis didn’t answer.

Artemis hurried off into the night, it was perhaps one of his least healthy coping mechanisms, but he knew any kind of pain would calm him down, stop thinking so much. Another bar, another dingy bar. He drank this time because it was too much and because a guy had bought him one.

Not-Alastair (Artemis had decided to start calling him ‘Stair’ to stop the confusion) had watched with amusement.

The man was getting handsy, it made him feel uneasy and that, well, that made him feel present. It even made him feel wanted to some extent. Wasn’t that just repulsive? Self-disgust curdled in his gut.

‘Stair’ was sitting at the bar next to him, “Now this is good. You escape Hell and here you are, voluntarily letting yourself be used. What is it? Low self-esteem? Daddy issues? Self-Hatred?” He smirked, “I’m just kidding, I’m in your head. I know it’s ‘all of the above’.”

Artemis tried to ignore him.

----------------------------------------

BENNY FOLLOWS ARTEMIS, KICKS BUTT

Benny didn’t like to think of himself as a nosy man, but Artemis had been… off since he got back. Something in the kid’s expression told him Artemis was in distress, a lot of distress.

He slipped into his clothes and stepped outside five minutes later. He could smell Artemis’s trail. Sounds of music and drinking drifted to his ears. He approached a type of tavern, a what was that word? A bar.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

With the room this close he could hear the blood in their veins, their conversations. He tried to sort through the voices,

“The thing about carburetors is-”

“And that’s when the chicken said-”

“It’s the economy man-”

“After what happened in season one, this better be good.”

“Load of baby snakes escaped, my husband is not happy. Well– he’s terrified.”

Then he latched onto a voice, Artemis’s voice, “For head? Forty.” A pause, “No… I don’t do that.” Another longer pause, “I… okay. Fine.”

Benny paused. He didn’t judge, he was quite resolute about that, and everyone worked. But…. The kid wasn’t in a good place, and well; he was a kid. The snippets of conversation he had heard sounded coercive. He waited there, listening.

Artemis stumbled out half an hour later with an older man. A much older man, almost thirty. Artemis didn’t seem sober. The man dragged him behind the building by the arm roughly. Benny set off after them in time to see.

The man was undoing Artemis’s trousers and the boy pushed against the man’s chest, saying, “No, we can’t do that out here. Slow down-”

The man didn’t pay any mind, slamming the kid against the wall, “Shut the fuck up. I’m not asking for much sweetie.””

He’d heard enough, anger furling in his veins, in a second, he was behind the man, shoving him away. He punched the man and he dropped with a crunch.

The man scrambled to his feet, “What the fuck man?”

Benny’s expression was hard, “I saw what happened. Leave him alone or I will kill you.”

The man staggered back and scuttled into the night with some speed.

Benny turned to Artemis who was doing up his pants, a bit shaken up. Artemis glanced at him, “You didn’t need to do that, he was just being a little rough.”

Benny stammered, “A little- Artemis that’s not… he shouldn’t rough you up at all.”

Artemis looked down, silent.

“Come on.” He said gently.

“Shut up.” Artemis muttered under his breath, “Shut up, shut up, shut up.”

“What?” Benny asked.

Artemis shook his head, “Not you. Sorry.”

Artemis fell into step with him. He said nothing for a long while. A long while.

When Benny thought he’d never speak, he started, eyes fixed on ahead, eyes unfocused, “I did awful things in Hell, and that was fine because awful things happened to me.” He crossed his arms over his chest, “Alastair would hurt me and then I didn’t have to think. I did this in Hell now and then. Sometimes they hurt me and that’s… It stops me thinking. It’s nice sometimes, the way they look at me like they want me.” He shrugged.

Benny felt something in his chest wrench. He nodded to himself, it made sense. Horrible sense.

Artemis continued, “I just… I started seeing things tonight. The demon Alastair. I… started hallucinating and he wouldn’t- he won’t stop talking. So I….”

Benny breathed through the heavy emotions, “Oh… kid.”

Artemis glanced up, coming to a stop, “Do you… You think I’m pathetic, don’t you?” It sounded sharp and self-deprecating.

Benny shook his head, “Of course not chief. I’ve fought in wars, lived a long time and I know what pathetic looks like. It’s small men exercising power over others, it's greed. But not this. Not you.” He turned to Artemis, “Pain is human. You’ve been pushed past your limits, I couldn’t ask for anything more than your best kid, and you’re doing your best. This isn’t good for you but… you’re not bad because of that.”

“You don’t understand…I get like this Ben, I get fractured… I’m not well. You should go.”

Benny squinted at him, “You’re an alright guy, I like you, you’re my friend, which I have told you twice already.This really isn’t something I’d lose a friend over. Mainly because you didn’t do anything wrong and none of this is your fault.” He shrugged, “It’s like you don’t even listen to me. Kids these days. No respect for old folk.”

He searched Benny’s face for a moment before visibly relaxing. The kid nodded.

Satisfied with that, Benny resumed the short trip back to the motel.

----------------------------------------

BACK IN ROOM, BENNY KNOWS STAIR

Artemis was sitting on the bed and Benny came to sit next to him.

‘Stair’ lounged in the chair, “Made a bit of a scene, didn’t we?” came the nasal mocking voice, “Got everyone up in the middle of the night because you’re desperate for validation.”

Artemis’s eyes flickered over to him.

Benny looked over the spot by the chair, “Can you see him now, is he there?”

Artemis nodded.

“What’s he saying?”

Artemis hugged his knees to his chest.

Not-Alastair laughed, “How did you convince this guy that you’re worth caring about? Hey, remember that time you let a teenager bleed out in that basement? What a night.”

He closed his eyes tight.

“Artemis.” A voice coaxed, “Artemis, whatever it is, it’s not true.”

Stair cooed, “He’s trying to be nice kiddo. Isn’t that cute?”

He could smell the metallic and dampness of the basement then. Feel the way his arm had been clutched by the dying teenager.

His breaths were becoming short and choppy. Hands shaking, blood everywhere,

Stair’s voice drifted across the room, “Remember how he begged for you to stop? Begged for help?”

He heard springs squeak as Benny sat next to him, cautiously curling an arm around him. Benny sighed, “We need to get you home. I’m a bit out of my depth here.”

Artemis shook his head, “I can’t go back Ben, not after-”

Benny shook his head, “You’re going back home. Your friends think you’re dead Artemis and… you ain’t doing too good..”

Artemis shrugged, “Guess I’m not.”

Benny flatly said, “Call them.”

“No, I-“

Benny cut him off, “You need to call them. Soon.”

Artemis sighed, “Do you ever wish that you’d be, like, knocked over by a car or crushed by a falling ceiling beam so you don't have to deal with everything?”

Benny was still hugging him, “I… haven't recently, no. That sounds serious.”

“It's probably fine. Just mild suicide ideation.” Artemis said. The arms around Artemis tightened and he winced.

----------------------------------------

Benny looked over, the kid had dropped straight off to sleep. He hadn’t expected that. Something felt wrong, there was a certain electricity in the air.

----------------------------------------

DREAM

Artemis smelt sulphur and heard screaming, those god-awful screams. He gasped and then it was gone. He was in a bed in a motel, because it had just been a dream-

“This isn’t real either.” Came a deep voice.

His head up to see the man standing in the dark. Why hadn’t Benny woken up yet?

“I told you; this isn’t real.” The man said again. He wore a black suit under a trench coat. His eyes almost gleamed an unnatural blue.

“What does that mean? Who are you?” He asked, hand searching for the knife he kept under his pillow.

“You don’t recognise me? I know this… vessel is new. We met on the eastern front in Hell. I sent you back to purgatory.” Suddenly the sound of the beating of great wings filled the room, lightning illuminating the room but leaving shadows of two hulking wings on the wall.

His breath caught in his throat, “What do you want from me?”

“My name is Castiel. I am an angel of the lord.”

“No shit.” Artemis snorted, “I don’t pick sides, I’m not getting involved in your war.”

Castiel sat on the bed, “I pulled you out of Hell Artemis. I can throw you back in.” He sounded almost pitying. “You met a man in Hell, Dean Winchester.”

Artemis shrugged, “Yeah, I remember him. Vaguely. He seemed nice.”

The mask Castiel used to intimidate slipped away, replaced with sincerity, “He is mentioned in our prophecies, ‘the righteous man’. He went to hell to save a life of his own volition with no selfish intent. He is, however… unpredictable. Difficult to control.”

Artemis didn’t like the sound of any of this, “And what do you want from me?”

Castiel almost seemed sheepish, “He hasn’t been receptive to any of our messengers thus far. He doesn’t trust us.”

“I wonder why,” Artemis muttered.

Castiel glared, “Perhaps he will listen to reason if It comes from you.”

“No.” was his immediate reaction.

Castiel’s expression turned dark, “It was not a question, it was a demand. If you value your soul and your family then I suggest you co-operate.” He grabbed Artemis by the lapel, catching the knife thrust in his direction, “I can make you re-live things that made you scream, I could trap you in a loop of memories from which you would never wake.”

Castiel let go of him and he fell back. Artemis didn’t try to say anything clever this time.

Castiel continued like he had an ace up his sleeve, “Then, there’s your condition to consider.”

“My condition?” Artemis asked something prickling up his spine.

“Your soul was cracked in Hell, that’s why your soul deteriorated. I was able to cleanse your system with angelic grace. Your memories of Hell and your pain will continue to feed into the darkness in your soul. The rate at which this process occurs will be accelerated by self-destructive behaviour I’m afraid.” The angel let disgust crawl into his voice, “You will have to curb your…. vices.”

A prickle of shame moved down his spine and was chased by anger, “Are you judging me? Seriously, you just threatened to throw someone into Hell, and I’m the immoral one?”

Castiel stopped at that. For a moment, then, “You will need continual access to grace, otherwise… your transformation into a demon will resume, and you won’t care about anything anymore, least of all your family. And then there’s the homicidal tendencies to worry about. Without continual treatment, you will become an abomination.”

Artemis heard the implicit threat, do what we say or we’ll cut off your supply. Well, fuck.

“We don’t ask much from you, just submission, that shouldn’t be hard for you though, should it? Just let go, stop thinking.” The man said, but he was using that voice, in that rhythm that Alastair always did.

He felt his world start to spin, how did he know, how did he- “Stop it, get out of my head. I can’t- just stop.”

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be Artemis, if you refuse we will simply have to persuade you, and that's not something either of us want,” Castiel said, still using that voice that was turning Artemis’s thoughts to slurry.

Artemis tried to make his numb mind catch up to the conversation at hand, “You can go fuck yourself.”

Castiel smiled, “We’ll be in touch.”

The last thing he heard was a flapping of wings, then he woke, blinking in the early morning light. On his bedside, was a bottle of glowing blue gas that moved like a liquid. He closed his eyes, then pocketed the grace. Artemis scrubbed a hand down his face, “Jesus Christ.”

On a leash, again.

Benny was already dressed, looking over at him with concern, “You were talking in your sleep.”

He jumped, the voice jolting him. “Hmm” Was the only response he could be bothered to give. Pulling on a fresh shirt and trousers, he glanced at Benny, “Breakfast?”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Benny changed the tone of his voice, “Are you okay?” Report soldier.

“I’ll tell you later. Now we eat.” Artemis looked back at him again, “Do you want to shave? Or something…? I’ve got some razors in the bag over there.” Changing the subject because he didn’t want to be told what to do, very oppositional defiant of him.

Benny smiled, “Uppity punk. But, thank you, the castaway look never suited nobody.”

Artemis grinned, “No. Nope, it does not.”