“Lost, alone…” Sang Helmut when Tanya made it back to her own head. “Neither skin nor bone…” His projected voice reverberated with power and emotion, which drew the attention of the entire VIP afterparty. “Just a thought, is what I’ve got…”
Eddie dropped to his knees, staring at the brain in wonder. “No way…”
“But my cover’s… blown!” Helmut shouted, and Tanya felt his mind link up not just with her, but everyone around. Her proprioception exploded, feeling each and every body here as if it was her own, seeing through all of their eyes, sensing… everything. It was a greater expression of Clairvoyance than she could ever manage on her own, which proved that Helmut Fullbear deserved to stand amongst the other psychic titans that were the Psychic Seven.
Tanya smirked. “Talk about some cosmic oneness…” She muttered, knowing that everyone could hear her.
“At the bottom of a lake,” Helmut continued, “-of frozen feeling! When my friends pulled me back up!” Everyone glanced at Tanya in unison. “I started… HEALING!”
Everyone laughed in the sheer joy radiating from those words.
Helmut went into the chorus, and Tanya joined him without even needing to know the words in advance. “I can feel out the galaxy! And hear the flow of time! Been so tense, but now I sense, a reason to this rhyme!”
Everyone who could started to stand up, and start dancing, each one moving in perfect unison. “Oh, I can smell the universe,” Helmut continued, “and I can taste the sky, and I can see each molecule…” Everyone spoke up in perfect harmony for the last line in the chorus. “Through my cosmic eye!”
Tanya lent Helmut some of her mastery of telekinetic constructs, and shaped his mobility capsule into a rough copy of his body. He picked her up by the hand and started to dance, leading her through something that she recognized as operatic, despite never having seen such things before. Similarly, she knew exactly where to step the moment she needed to.
The song continued, everyone losing themselves to the music as Helmut celebrated his return to himself.
“Unlocking all my memories…” Helmut sang, winding down the song. “Loving each… and every… one.” He finished, letting the telepathic link dissolve.
After a moment of awkward silence as the party recovered from the ending of their cosmic oneness, they all erupted into applause as the telekinetic Helmut body dissipated, leaving just a floating mobility capsule.
Mr. Roth laughed. “Man, I’d invite you to front for us… but you’d show us all up, man! What was that?”
“That,” Eddie said, excited. “Was the Master at work. I’ve been to Psycho-core concerts before, but this was on another level entirely!” He brought out a clipboard. “Can I get an autograph, Mr. Fullbear?”
Helmut laughed. “Sure!” The marker in Eddie’s other hand lifted up and drew Helmut’s signature on the board. Eddie blew on the ink to dry it faster, a wide grin emerging afterwards as he appreciated it.
“Hey, this tour’s almost over, it ends in early October, so if you’re thinking of doing a comeback tour and need a roadie, I’m your guy!” Eddie offered, “I know all the best places to get a crowd for psycho-core, could get you in touch with some other artists for your concerts, really hit the ground running!”
“That sounds great!” Helmut said, “Just get to the Motherlobe when you’re done with this and we’ll talk.”
Tanya immediately wrote down her phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to the roadie. “He doesn’t have a phone right now, but this is mine. I’m Tanya, ask for me at that time and I’ll get you Helmut’s new phone.” After a moment, she added: “Just don’t make my mother think anything weird’s going on.” Mary smirked, which told Tanya that she would definitely be telling Mom about this in the worst way for her own amusement.
“Well, loved the party, folks.” Helmut said, changing the subject. “But these girls do need to get back home. They’ve got a pretty early bedtime.”
Mary groaned. “Really? Come on!” Tanya yawned, which caused Mary to do the same. “I used to stay up so much later in the…” She trailed off, resisting the impulse to say ‘military’ in an uninitiated group.
“Yes, I should get you back to Green Needle Gulch.” Tanya said, “I’m sure you’ve plenty to talk about with the current residents.”
“Sure. Later, though.”
---------------------
Helmut… was surprisingly hesitant to go back to his husband. While Tanya easily accepted his rationale vis a vis waiting for the next day…
“It’s just… You’ve already done a lot for me.” Helmut explained. His telepathic voice was hesitant, guilty. “If I go over to the Gulch, it’s going to be a big production.” Yeah, it would be.
“I know that, but why don’t we just get it over with?” Tanya asked as she brushed her hair.
Mom opened up the door, wearing a bikini and floral shawl. “Tanya, why aren’t you dressed for the water park? Did you forget?” There are more important things than water parks going on! …But she had been putting off telling Mom that it was canceled.
Before she could, Helmut spoke up: “Oh, sorry! I forgot and asked her to do something for me! I guess she figured she could fit it in before?” Without trying to get Tanya to confirm, he continued to rhetorically barrel over her: “Sorry Tanya, it’s going to take hours. You go on ahead, I’ll wait here, and we can go after!”
Confused, Mom’s eyes turned calculating. “Tanya, I know you’re a very responsible girl, but it’s Sunday. Weekends are for having fun!”
“Exactly.” Helmut said, projecting complete agreement. She really needs to ask him about that nugget of wisdom… “It’s waited this long, it can wait another few hours. I’d like to spend some time in my own head beforehand anyway, steel myself. Go, enjoy the water park.”
Tanya sighed. She did want to go… She telekinetically threw Helmut out of her room. She had to change clothes.
---------------------
Tanya enjoyed her popsicle as the group rested from their trip on the river rapids ride. “How about we go to the wave pool next?” Mom asked, a little ill. She didn’t seem to like the rougher rides much.
“I want to make a water monster.” Mary said, “Is there a pool that lets you use hydrokinesis?” Now that sounded like a terrible idea.
“Yes.” Replied Agent Nein, looking over the map of the park. “It’s just an ordinary pool otherwise. Milla, how about you go there with Mary and relax?”
Mom and Agent Nein weren’t in disguise… but it didn’t seem to matter. In this world, where social media wasn’t even a dream yet, even if they were recognized, shrugging them off was not a big deal. The fact that they were drawn, rather than shown on television, probably helped. Still, Tanya finished her popsicle while Mom considered Agent Nein’s offer. “Yes, that sounds nice.” Mom admitted.
“Excellent. Now, I believe you mentioned wanting to go on that last ride again, Tanya?” Agent Nein said. She did. “Then let’s go wait in line.”
Once in line, with about six minutes left until they could get on the ride by Tanya’s estimate, Agent Nein decided to start some smalltalk. “How was your first week of work?” He asked.
“Eventful.” Tanya summarized, “Any scientific breakthroughs lately?”
Agent Nein hummed. “I’ve been running some experiments with emotional energy, fear specifically. I’ve managed to isolate three distinct varieties of fear energy, each with different properties, and I suspect there are more, waiting to be discovered.”
“I think I read that comic book.” Tanya said idly. “Are you consulting with Dr. Crane?”
Agent Nein looked confused. “No, I’m working with Dr.- Oh, the comic book supervillain.” He chuckled as he gathered some fear energy in his hand and shaped a telekinetic claw. “You will know fear, Batman.” He said, scowling at nothing.
“I am fear.” Tanya replied, equally serious. “I am the night. I am BATMAN!” She could have pitched her voice low for that, but it was funnier not to. Both of them laughed.
After a moment of companionable silence, she transitioned to a vaguely useful topic.
“Whatever happened to that unfrozen Neanderthal?” Tanya asked.
“Oh, he’s awake and learning Swedish.” Agent Nein replied, “I didn’t get to explore his mind myself, but I did review the data.”
“So, hypothetically, if one was to find a body that was frozen over a decade ago, could it theoretically be thawed safely?” Tanya continued.
“Yes.” Agent Nein said, before giving Tanya a strange look. “Did you find one?”
“Not yet.” Tanya said, “You did hear about the John Doe brain that was alive that I was rehabilitating?” She asked.
“I did.” Agent Nein confirmed, “Has any progress been made on that front?”
“He’s Helmut Fullbear.” Tanya said idly as she walked along with the line. Just a little longer… “According to his memories, his body got frozen shortly after he sneezed his brain out.” Specifically, by an action from Agent Mentalis’ hyperglaciator.
Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.
After a moment, Tanya glanced back at him. Agent Nein was stunned, holding up the rest of the line until the fat shirtless man behind him gave the psychonaut a shove. “Helmut Fullbear, alive?” Agent Nein asked, lifting up his swim goggles to look Tanya more directly in the eye.
“Indeed.” Tanya replied, “He wanted some time to himself before fully revealing that he’s alive.”
Agent Nein visibly steeled himself. “Well, I suppose there’s not much else to do about that.” He said, “The implications, though…”
Tanya shrugged. “It’s inadvisable to get tied up in what-ifs.” She advised, “He’s recovered from his trauma… mostly. Hopefully he won’t put it off for too long, but it’s for the best that he is ready to keep Bob from doing anything stupid. It’s Agent Cruller’s fault in the end, after all.”
“You really shouldn’t be assigning blame to the mentally incompetent.” Agent Nein said, his expression turning disapproving, although his good mood spoiled any actual admonishment in the words.
Tanya waved it off as they finally made it to the front of the line, eagerly getting strapped in to enjoy the river rapids ride.
---------------------
Tanya had asked Helmut if he was ready with long-range telepathy when they were boarding her car, but he didn’t seem to acknowledge her. So, they went to watch a movie at the drive-in theater.
Mary suggested they watch a family friendly road trip movie where most of the actors were puppets. This was universally agreed upon as a fun time. Unlike a lot of movie trends, she actually understood why those puppets were popular, even when acting on the same screen as human actors and being treated like they were normal: after all, she was Japanese at heart, and understood the value of gap moe. Ridiculousness played straight was hilarious.
“Moving right along…” Tanya, Mary, and Mom all sang in the car on the way home. “Moving right along… Moving right along.”
“So…” Mary asked now that the song was over. “Why don’t you have a flying car, Sasha?” Mary asked.
Agent Nein stiffened as he scrambled to try and explain in a way that didn’t make him look bad. Before he could, Tanya chuckled and replied: “Agent Mentalis won’t let him have one. He goes too fast with them.”
“Aren’t we going at, like, two hundred miles an hour?” Mary asked, confused. “Is that slow enough?”
“Yes.”
“Wow.” Mary said, impressed.
“It was a normal speed for a private aircraft.” Agent Nein insisted. He wasn’t technically wrong… if one only looked at the highest end models of small personal aircraft. “I was perfectly safe.”
“Anyway, that’s why Agent Nein doesn’t have a flying car.” Tanya summarized. The quarry that the Motherlobe is built into should be visible any minute now…
“The jet can go much faster, anyway.” Agent Nein grumbled.
“It has five hundred times as much psitanium driving it.” Tanya retorted. “Of course it’s faster.” The largest known chunks of refined psitanium drive the telekinetically propelled aircraft (which do not have jet engines and are thus not real jets), and is the standard size for the largest usable psychic machines. Such as the one they affixed to Air Force One to run a barrier in the event of incoming missiles. Last she heard, the one they were going to put on Air Force Two was still being built by the military’s top psychic engineers and wasn’t due for completion until the end of the year.
Mary did the mental math in her head. “Wait. how big is the psitanium engine on this thing?”
“This vehicle is equipped with a class 5 psitanium ellipsoid telekinetic engine.” Tanya recited from memory. “Its diameter is one meter, and is, with minor adjustments, a one-eighth scale match to the class 9 engine that propels the Pelican.” Also the seventeen other bird-named telekinetically propelled aircraft the Psychonauts possess.
“...you could totally fit a bigger engine in this.” Mary pointed out. She wasn’t wrong.
“One sixty percent bigger, yes.” Agent Nein said in agreement. That’s not a standard size... “It would double the maximum speed of the vehicle, and extend its operational range by one hundred fifty percent.” Those numbers, while not incorrect, were optimistic. If she was going twice as fast, she was going to reinforce the barrier that stops her from getting guts splattered on the windshield when she hits a bird, at a bare minimum.
“This is not your project car, Sasha.” Mom said warningly. She was in the front seat, unlike Mary and Agent Nein who were in the back. “This car is plenty fast as it is.”
“I’d rather implement some… alternate features rather than just making the engine bigger.” Tanya said conversationally. “The operational range is already plenty, merely doubling it won’t get me anywhere I’d want to go that I couldn’t already get to.” After all, a larger mental energy capacity doesn’t impact how much she can refuel the thing while on the go, so increasing the nominal operational range doesn’t help as much as it seems.
“You could cross the Atlantic.” Agent Nein pointed out.
Hrm, that was actually a good point. “...I’d have to look into the legalities of things before I can comment.” Tanya deflected.
“Oh look, we’re nearly home.” Mom said, pointing at the now-visible broadcast tower that was atop the Motherlobe.
Now, playtime was over, now it was time to be responsible, and get Helmut to Green Needle Gulch.
---------------------
Helmut was not in the apartment. Not entirely surprising, given that he was perfectly capable of opening doors now that he was fully functional. A paranoid check indicated that he didn’t steal any money or anything, which was good: he didn’t even touch Mary’s ceramic pig with the cent sign on it, which was a particularly strange place to put one’s spare change, but it was cute so Tanya didn’t say anything about it.
“Going to find Helmut, love you.” Tanya announced before leaving Mom and Agent Nein in the apartment. “You might want to clear out too, Mary.” She sent telepathically. “Go visit Crystal or something.”
Mary sent back, in her typically barely coherent manner, a feeling of agreement, along with a flash of perception, that of Agent Nein using breath spray. Tanya quickly translated that as “I just saw Sasha use breath spray, good call.”
“Notify me if you see Helmut.” Tanya sent, finishing the conversation.
---------------------
Tanya did manage to locate the stray brain relatively quickly: he was in a field of flowers, with Lili. “Hi Tanya!” She said excitedly. “We’re picking a bouquet!”
“I see that.” Tanya replied, “What will we be saying with this bouquet?” She had… some amount of familiarity with ikebana, although she’d probably just embarrass herself if she tried to show something she made to a real expert.
Helmut coughed, which was naturally intentional given that he was without a throat. “Uh, you know, I missed you, I’m glad to see you again, I love you… nothing weird.”
Tanya hummed. “Well, a good flower arrangement should have no more than thirteen stems and have an odd number of them.” She recited from her foggy memory. “First, you should consider a plant that most encapsulates the message, with the remaining parts providing further context and beauty to the arrangement.”
“Oh, that’s good stuff!” Helmut said.
“You know flower language, Tanya?” Lili asked, eyes wide. “Dad gave me a book about it, but it was lame, just ‘red means love or passion, yellow means joy’. Bleh!”
Tanya winced at the summary. Yeah, that sounded like American publishing companies. Boil down centuries of tradition into a few simple rules. Of course, Tanya also knew that there was a completely separate flower language in her second life, among the European nobility… but Visha only taught her enough to recognize when she was being subtly insulted. “Well, given that this is a proclamation of love, you should center the arrangement around something that represents the intended recipient. A plant that you would say encapsulates them, their favorite flower, something like that.”
Helmut thought hard on this. “So many choices… did he have a favorite? Oh man, I’m such a bad husband to not know that.”
Tanya hummed. “Perhaps, as an alternative, we could center the piece around a plant that represents your relationship: a plant that featured heavily in your proposal, or wedding, or some such.”
“I’ve never met Uncle Bob.” Lili said, “Maybe Dad knows what he likes?”
“Nono, I’ve got it.” Helmut declared, “We’ll center it around an orange cala lily.”
Tanya tilted her head. “...why?”
“That’s the flower he put in our wedding bouquet.” Helmut said proudly.
What Tanya would give for wikipedia right now. “Alright. Lili, do you know where we can get one of those?”
“Yes!” She announced proudly. “Mom has a bunch of flower seeds, it’s gotta be there if it’s a wedding flower.”
With a quick trip to the penthouse apartment that the Grand Head gets as one of his job perks, they collected the necessary seed, planted it, and let Helmut practice his herbaphony to grow it into a lovely flower. “Looks good.” Tanya said, cutting the stem with her telekinesis. Now, to consider the messaging… “Next, we should get a base for the arrangement. I have an excellent vase that would be perfect for this.”
Helmut radiated confusion. “You have a vase? The only thing I saw that looked like one was that tiny broken one with the gold colored glue.”
Lili gasped. “You’re giving him your gold vase?”
It was definitely warranted for such an important occasion. “Kintsugi, the art of repairing broken ceramic with gold, is meant to represent the beauty of imperfection, that something broken but fixed is more beautiful than untested perfection.” She got it as a thirteenth birthday gift from Agent Nein. “Also, I expect a replacement or return eventually.” If nothing else, Bob was actually quite wealthy from residual income derived from his research all those years ago, although Tanya never bothered learning the details. He sends rather large amounts of money on Lili’s birthday, and frequently gets various deliveries that the Motherlobe has to send on to Green Needle Gulch.
“Oh that is just loaded with meaning!” Helmut said, sending a wave of gratitude. “This is going to be the best apology bouquet ever.”
Tanya coughed. “As for the rest, ikebana, at least the kind I learned, is more of a freeform style of flower arrangement that is supposed to convey meaning and appreciation through free association and the beauty of the natural world.” Lili stared uncomprehendingly at Tanya. “In other words, from here we just wing it.”
“That’s what I’m talking about!” Helmut proclaimed, “Come on, let’s go!”
“Yeah!” Lili shouted, punching the air for no discernable reason.
---------------------
Surprisingly, Lili wasn’t actually authorized to go to Green Needle Gulch. This was surprising because Tanya was; Agent Mentalis had tasked her with delivering some of Bob’s packages a few times during her schooling when he couldn’t be bothered to do it himself.
Still, the slow and poorly maintained tram to the Heptadome trundled along the underground tunnel at a brisk walking pace, occasionally stopping to prompt an additional password to proceed.
“This is going to be so cool.” Lili stage whispered. “So romantic, a reunion after seventeen years…”
“Drowning in grief, only to learn that they were alive after all!” Mary whispered back.
“I will turn this tram around.” Tanya said threateningly. “This is going to be emotional enough without you two obsessing over it like a soap opera.”
“No, it’s helping.” Helmut said, nervously worrying at the flower arrangement they created with a telekinetic hand. “This is pretty dramatic, isn’t it?”
“Yes, very fairy tale.” Tanya said in agreement as she once again input a password to get the tram moving again. Just two left…”There’s even a beanstalk.”
“There is!?” All three of them exclaimed.
Tanya just laughed.