True to Miss Milla’s words, it took about four minutes for Tanya to be able to stand, and three more for the pins and needles sensation to fully fade. Which was enough time for a quick change of clothes and trip back to the cafeteria for lunch.
Agent Cruller’s cook persona didn’t seem notably affected by the work Tanya put in on his other self, but he also didn’t seem as twitchy as he was in the aftermath of the park ranger’s fit.
“Now that we’ve all eaten, “ Miss Milla announced at the end of lunch, “-what we do is going to depend on the weather.” On cue, thunder sounded out, followed by the staccato patter of rain. “Well, that answers that.” She said, not missing a beat. “Don’t worry, children. We did prepare for rainy days. We have a full library of True Psychic Tales, six sets of it. We’ll go get it, and you can all pass the time by reading up on the thrilling adventures of the Psychic Six, and even some of the adventures me and Sasha have gotten up to.” She looked at Agent Cruller, who was busying himself by cleaning his workstation. “We’ll be going to the cabins for that, however.”
Most of the children seemed to deem this activity acceptable, and Tanya worked in tandem with Miss Milla and Agent Nein to create a tunnel that was protected from the rain that everyone used levitation to float through without getting mud on their shoes. Lili had to be restrained from jumping into the mud, but no one else dared to.
After everyone was at their beds and the copies of the comic book were distributed, Milla returned to the counselor’s room in the girl’s cabin, and Tanya followed her. “I’m going to call Agent Boole, darling. He’ll know what to do about this.”
Taking out the psychoportal, she placed it on her own forehead. “If you want to come along, come inside and we’ll speak with him.”
Tanya quickly sat on the beanbag chair while Miss Mila sat on her bed. Like before, Tanya reached out towards the psychoportal and felt herself getting pulled in.
----------------
After going into Miss Milla’s mind, she pulled Tanya’s astral form outside of the mental world, eventually ending up in a pure void with naught but stars visible.
“This… is the Collective Subconscious.” Miss Milla declared. “It is the space between minds that can only be measured through emotional distance, not physical distance.” With a wave of her hand, a door appeared in front of her. “This is an entrance to Agent Boole’s mind. We won’t be barging in though, it’s rude.” She tapped on the door with her knuckles, doing a precise sequence that was clearly code of some kind.
The door, after a moment, opened up and the aforementioned Agent Boole walked out. He was a short man, balding but with a lot of care and attention put into his beard and what remained of his hair. His voice was soft and timid as he addressed the pair. “Ah, Camilla. I’ve been expecting your call. Come in, come in.”
Agent Boole’s mind was, oddly enough, a cooking game show. It was currently empty, without any mental constructs populating it. It was very strange. Noticing her confusion, Agent Boole spoke up. “Ah, this is a mental construct I’ve created to help me manage my anxiety.” He explained. “Back in the sixties, we did all sorts of experimental procedures on ourselves to expand our minds, both to increase our psychic powers and to improve our understanding of the human mind. Most of us still carry some scars from that time. For example, I can’t shut out my telepathy anymore, and as a result I can get easily overwhelmed. It’s why I sleep in Psychoisolation.”
That explained… not enough. “Why a game show?” Tanya asked.
“Well, if my anxiety and sensitivity gets to be too much, Cassie comes in and helps me complete the game show, and after that, it’s so much easier to handle things. It’s very therapeutic. She did so just this morning, in fact.” He smiles widely. “In return, I help her out whenever one of her archetypes starts to act up. Now, what was it you wanted to speak to me about?”
This was fascinating. Could it be used to help her develop a psychic videogame? “I went into Agent Cruller’s mind.” She blurted out.
Agent Boole’s expression became even more concerned. “Oh no, are you okay? Ford’s mind is hostile at the best of times.”
“I’m fine.” Tanya said. “I managed to do… something there. It looked a lot better after I was done than when I began.”
“That’s excellent news.” Replied Agent Boole, voice still steady but with a little more energy than normal. “You have my personal thanks for helping my friend. Would you like to learn how to cook? I could teach you.” A glittering golden cooking whisk floated into his hand. “Do you know what this is?”
“That’s a nugget of wisdom.” Tanya replied. “But I didn’t come here seeking a reward.” As much as Tanya would love to absorb more knowledge, it wouldn’t do to seem too greedy.
Miss Milla cut in at that point. “We’re here to seek your advice about an odd problem.”
“Another time, then. The offer’s open, Tanya.” Agent Boole said, tossing the whisk away carelessly. It vanished after two bounces. “What can old Compton do for you?”
“You’re not that old, Agent Boole.” Miss Milla flattered before getting to the point. “Apparently, when Tanya attempted to resolve some of Ford’s emotional baggage, the psychic energy destroyed her astral form rather than being properly absorbed.” She turned to Tanya. “Is that about right?” Tanya nodded.
Agent Boole hissed at the explanation. “Ah, that’s a troublesome problem.” He glanced at something that Tanya didn’t notice. “The good news is that I have seen that problem before.” Uh oh.
“And the bad news?” Miss Milla asked.
Agent Boole braced himself before answering. “The only other time I’ve seen such a thing is with Bob.” After a pause, he added: “and thus, I don’t know for sure how to fix it.”
Miss Milla repeated Agent Boole’s hiss. “Only one other case?” She asked.
With a sympathetic nod, Agent Boole continued. “Well, we don’t have a habit of having our patients resolve some other person’s emotional baggage for them.” He said. “So we could only ever see the problem in our agents, which is a very small sample pool.” That was a sensible explanation. “You see, emotional baggage is reasonably literal in how it functions. It’s a buildup of emotional energy that has not been disposed of properly, such as through a good cry. It snarls up and eventually has a negative effect on the mind inside. What a psychonaut does is siphon the emotional energy into themselves, which is quite helpful in strengthening your astral form to handle any powerful manifestations within the mind. As a result, the normally overwhelming emotions are dulled, made more manageable for the patient.”
Tanya nodded along to the explanation, which was presumably for her benefit. “So I made a mistake?” She asked.
“Oh no.” Agent Boole said quickly. “There’s not really a process to doing it, it’s automatic. It’s rarely a pleasant experience, but if it damages your astral form, that means there was something that interfered with the normal state of things.”
“But what could do such a thing?” Miss Milla asked.
“That’s where we move from well established psychic phenomena to speculation.” Agent Boole replied. “My hypothesis is that there’s some form of block in Tanya’s mind. Bob wouldn’t allow us inside to help him; he was too angry about having lost his job to accept help. He was already in trouble, but after he lost the ability to do his job at all… Truman couldn’t keep covering for him.” Something about that story filled Tanya with dread. He cleared his throat. “Ah, moving on. Tell me, Tanya. When’s the last time you remember getting angry?”
Tanya blinked. Why ask that? “...I suppose it would be when I heard that the Grand Head decided to put children near an unstable lunatic.”
“How angry were you?” He asked calmly. “Did you feel like yelling at him? Or hitting him? Or perhaps setting him on fire with your pyrokinesis?”
What kind of question was that!? “Of course not. I’m not a violent maniac.”
Agent Boole hummed at that response. Was she getting psychoanalyzed? Crap. “If the Grand Head showed up here, right now, what would you say to him?” He brought out a little hand puppet of the Grand Head, but as a goat. Out of the puppet’s mouth, Grand Head Zanotto’s voice came out. “I’m Tincan Zanotto, and I’m here to brag about the horrible things I’m going to put you through for money!” He chuckled to himself. “Let it all out.”
That was actually pretty funny. Yet, Tanya couldn’t even muster a chuckle. Angry rants were easy back during the war, so she can do something, yeah. Clearing her throat, Tanya pointed rudely at the hand puppet. “What were you thinking, you underqualified crony!” She spat. “You not only put a bunch of children within range of that unstable madman that used to be safely contained, but you even put your own granddaughter in his path! I do not work for you, and I do not appreciate having to be the one to clean up your mess!” Hrm. She used to be better at this.
After a moment, Tanya cleared her throat. “Yes, something like that.”
Agent Boole hummed again. “That’s it? You didn’t hold anything back?”
What? “No, I didn’t.” Tanya replied. It wasn’t her best work, but it was plenty angry. Right?
“Hm, I see. Tell me, Tanya:” Agent Boole continued. “Have you ever been angry enough to want to hit someone, or scream at the top of your lungs? Have you ever been so happy that you cried? Have you ever felt so sad that you didn’t want to do anything at all?”
Yes, yes, and yes… but only in her second life. After the war, everything in this life just seems so… petty and small. She assumes there were moments like that in her first life, but of course she didn’t remember any. So… “No.” She lied.
The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
“Hm, I see.” Agent Boole said. “I would need to take a look to be sure, but when combined with those nightmares I’ve been hearing about, “ Tanya looked at Miss Milla, who refused to look Tanya in the eye. “I suspect that much like Bob, you’ve refused, subconsciously or not, to feel emotion in order to avoid the unpleasant ones that are ever present. Grief, guilt, terror… You can’t shut off only the unpleasant emotions without also deadening yourself to more positive ones. This is something a psychonaut can help with, but only if you want us to.” He cleared his throat. “I can understand if you’d rather remain as you are. Change can be scary, after all. And this would be life-changing, if it works.”
“If you’re not comfortable with Agent Boole, darling,” Miss Milla said soothingly. “-we could just take that tour you mentioned earlier, just me and you, and just have a look around. Maybe it’s something simple and obvious.” Not likely.
Well, this has quickly spiraled out of control. But… Tanya pictured Being X. Thought about the injustices he laid upon her, both petty and grave offenses. Recalled the type 95; his poison pill. In her last life, such thoughts would be a surefire way to get herself spitting mad, unable to contain her anger and requiring her to sequester herself to calm down. But now? She just… didn’t care.
Oh no. Was this Being X’s plan? Wear down her conviction through apathy and let his little minion Mary scoop her up? It seemed far-fetched, even for him. Too intelligent. This… couldn’t be allowed to continue. “Let’s take that tour.” She said quietly. She could already picture how this will go wrong.
But… she has no choice. How did it come to this?
----------------
They withdrew from Agent Boole’s mind, the man promising to keep himself available for the rest of the day in case Miss Milla wanted to call him in. “Hollis will understand.” He explained. “And Truman will support anything if it has a chance of helping Bob.” He added.
Returning to their own bodies, Miss Milla telekinetically lifted the psychoportal from its position on the floor. “Are you ready, Tanya?” She asked quietly.
Tanya looked at the small door floating in front of her, scenarios flashing through her mind of how this could go wrong. “No.” She said, before seizing the door and placing it on her forehead. One tap, and it opened up, Miss Milla’s astral form leaving her body and going into the psychorportal. Once it closed, Tanya focused on entering her own mind, falling into the void outside of Tatemae castle with ease.
Miss Milla was staring at the cracks in the sky, still glowing with golden light. What sort of meaning was she drawing from it? With an exertion of effort, the cracks vanished as Tanya moved the damage to Yomi castle’s sky. She knew she should have reviewed the place before allowing the inspector, but… too late now. “Let’s go.” Tanya said, willing the drawbridge to open and walking inside.
The interior of the castle was a combination of classical architecture, the imposed design, and the futuristic aesthetic that the Motherlobe favored. The place was populated by anime-faced guards and courtiers, the former taking the form of animal-people, the stuffed animal regiment she owned as a child, and the latter by the random psychonauts that the Motherlobe segment was originally populated with.
Front and center in the entranceway was the mural that had provided some stress when she had viewed it, but as the design intended, it did not depict anything sensitive. The center held an image of Tanya, while the supplementary places were held by Agent Mentalis, Agent Hollis, Miss Mila, Agent Nein, and Grand Head Zanotto. Excellent.
Miss Milla mostly remained silent as Tanya showed her the various rooms filled with harmless information, from the filing room filled with her mental dossiers on various people, to the library of translation.
“What’s that room?” Miss Milla asked suddenly as they passed one room.
Tanya looked at it. Ah, it was the nursery memory she ended up in on her first journey within her mind. With the split, it had completely taken on the appearance of the room where Tanya first woke up in this life, so it wasn’t terribly incriminating. “Ah, that’s where I keep childhood memories.” She explained. “Before… you know.” She deflected, alluding to the incident with the fire. “Ah, be careful, that bed has hypnotic properties. I haven’t had the chance to investigate.”
Miss Milla hummed. “Right.” She plucked something invisible from the crib and turned back around, gathering the infantile figments in the area as she went. “Let’s move on, darling.”
“Right.” Tanya replied, leading her past the hallway that led to Yomi castle. It was sealed shut by a steel door, without any way of entering from this side.
“What’s in there?” Miss Milla predictably asked.
“You don’t want to know.” Tanya insisted. “Unpleasant things.”
“I wanna see!” Shouted… Lili? How long has she been following them?
“Lili, you shouldn’t be in here.” Miss Milla said, picking the small girl up and preventing her from attempting to break down the barricade.
Tanya thought about forcing Lili out of her mind. Eh… Whatever. She won’t understand whatever she finds anyway.
“It’s dark in here.” Lili said out of the blue.
What? “No it isn’t.” Tanya replied. Sure, the lights weren’t LEDs or even fluorescents, but there were plenty of lamps in the castle.
“She doesn’t mean lights, Tanya.” Miss Milla corrected. “The colors here are… washed out. In most mental worlds, lights are brighter than reality, colors are sharper, closer to an idealization of themselves.”
Tanya frowned. “Agent Nein’s mind is monochrome.” She pointed out.
“That’s a deliberate design choice.” Miss Milla retorted. “Also, even the whites here are… a little dingy, and it’s rather cold in here.” Tanya supposed that her superior cryokinesis in comparison to her pyrokinesis had to manifest somehow.
“Tanya has a dirty mind!” Teased Lili. Miss Milla snorted in laughter before recovering, politely pretending she didn’t hear the accidental euphemism.
Tanya sighed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is a normal level of color. True, it’s not brighter th an reality, but that doesn’t mean anything. I pay attention to things.” Were colors brighter during the war? They might have been. Was it just a difference between the two bodies? She did need glasses in her first life, she couldn’t assume that her visual abilities would be the same between the second and third.
Miss Milla hummed, dropping the subject. Tanya proceeded to give a harmless tour, with Lili continually gathering whatever figments were present as they went. After going through the kitchen, they passed the passage to Honne castle. Unlike Yomi castle, it was instead protected by twelve guards, who moved their rifle-halberds to block passage when Lili tried to get in.
“Hey!” Lili whined. “Let me in!”
“No unauthorized entry.” Insisted the wolf-man that resembled Koenig, his full plate armor clanking as he gestured. The two-headed dragon of the Empire was depicted on his tabard, but that wouldn’t mean anything to them. “This is a restricted area.”
Lili immediately attempted to use her inherent cuteness to get her way. “Please Tanya?”
“No.” Tanya said, shutting the little girl down. She was immune to the kawaii eyes. “That room is private.” Was it lying to imply that it was a room instead of a whole layer of the mind? Yes. Was she going to keep up the pretense? Also yes.
Miss Milla continued to observe the areas, examining things intently as they proceeded through the castle. Occasionally, she went somewhere and plucked something that Tanya couldn’t see. What was she doing?
Finally, they came to the ‘throne room’, a place that represented Tanya’s plans for the future. Petitioners each held representations of the various video game ideas she had, patiently waiting for Tanya to sit on the throne and contemplate the merits of each one.
“What’s this place?” Miss Milla asked, looking at the various weapons, tools, and outfits each of the petitioners had with interest.
“Ah, this is my… creative room.” Tanya explained. “All of those are ideas I have. Your obstacle courses gave me an idea on making things like that with a psychic machine, creating games inside a person’s head for an immersive entertainment experience.”
“I see.” Miss Milla said, slightly confused. “So… the weapons?”
“Adventure game.” Tanya replied. “Slay dragons and stuff.”
“The bats?” Miss Milla asked.
“Sports game.” Tanya replied. To shortcut future questions, she started pointing at each one. “Cooking game, fighting game, beast taming game, hunting game, dancing game… I have all kinds of ideas for future games, I just need to work out the technical aspects.” Hm, would she be able to adapt the technology for the handheld market? Doubtful.
Miss Milla hummed. “So this is what you’d like to do when you grow up?”
Tanya didn’t particularly like that phrasing, but… “Yes.” She replied. “My entertainment empire will make me a billionaire if I can make it work. It would be physically impossible to create a gaming system more immersive than something that’s beamed directly into your mind.” Well, Tanya was worried about the cost per unit, but if the only economically viable path was to create VR arcades that charged per life or per hour or whatever… Then that’s what she’ll do.
Whatever Miss Milla was expecting from Tanya, she clearly didn’t get it. “Well, is that everywhere?” She asked, a wry grin on her face.
Lili’s voice rang out from behind the throne. Oh no. “Hey! The guard here’s asleep! There’s a cool mirror here!”
Tanya ran towards the entrance to Kyomu castle. If she encountered the Heartless Machine… Tanya didn’t know what would happen.
Indeed, Lili had gone around the corner of the hallway behind the throne, normally supposed to be as heavily guarded as the entrance to Honne castle, and witnessed the ephemeral darkness of Kyomu castle. From this end, all that could be seen was the cobweb-riddled hallway that led deeper in, but the instant Tanya rounded the corner, Lili leapt into it.
Leaping in after her, Tanya turned back towards the mirror on the other side, and quickly exerted her will to make the entrances two-way, instead of the default method that allowed easy travel between the layers by offsetting it by one. Lili getting into Kyomu castle was bad enough, but if she walked into Yomi… she would be lucky if all that happened was her violent ejection.
“This place is so cool!” Lili exclaimed. “It’s like a shadow puzzle! This is definitely a desk, it’s like Dad’s!” What?
Tanya faintly registered Miss Mina following after her as she turned the corner herself and looked at the throne room’s reflection. Much like the place was originally, the walls were made out of darkness, with only very faint lights allowing the brief perception of distinct silhouettes. The halls were freezing cold, mist condensing from each person’s exhalations. The place was decorated primarily with mental cobwebs, a massive snarl of them suspended above the ‘desk’ that took the place of the throne. It was coating something…
“Welcome home, Major!” Visha’s voice called out in German, tinged with a very familiar mechanical edge. The Heartless Machine walked into the room, its pitiless gaze taking in the three people present. Agent Nein’s voice was next. “It appears that you’ve decided to move on to productive work.” The machine transitioned to using Mary’s voice. “You’ve revealed your true colors, showing no feelings in your heart!” The sound quality of Mary’s voice clipped, obviously spliced together to Tanya’s ears.
“Who are you?” Lili asked, fear creeping into her voice.
“I’m Tanya!” The machine declared using Tanya’s voice. “Her true face, the Heartless Machine.” She switched to Miss Milla’s voice. “Now, on to business! Smile, Tanya!” The glowing red rifts opened up as the machine opened their hollow chest once more. Tanya prepared to fend off the tentacles as they approached… but the machine shot them out towards LIli instead.
“No!” Tanya shouted as she telekinetically grabbed Lili and pulled her away from the grasping tentacles. With that distraction, the tentacles diverted back to Tanya, seizing her once more. Curses!
The Heartless Machine pulled Tanya back into its chest cavity. “Tanya, no!” Miss Milla shouted, extending a telekinetic hand in an attempt to grab Tanya and pull her out, but the machine shut, locking her inside.
Tanya’s head swam as chaos erupted outside of the machine’s body. Colors faded away and sharp images became blurs. “I’m fine… it’s not important… it’s nothing…” Tanya mumbled as consciousness slipped away.