"Stop running away you scared useless piece of crap!"

I'm not trying to run actually, I am just trying to get in position for the next part of my mission, but hey that guy just provoked me. I can't stand that shit, so I stop.

"Ah grow some balls did ya?"

"Yup."

I step closer to the chasing guard. And I throw my palm at his face.

*slap*

It connects. Of course it would, I am the main characters, all my actions does whatever I want them to do. 

The impact of the light slap somehow contains so much force that the guard spins midair, do a triple barrel roll, lands, spins somemore and then rolls into the wall like a barrel. Wham. That hurt, I suppose. But he didn't die. I did not want him to die, so he did not die. 

Does not matter, I move on. And I jump, I am already in position.

Its a big jump. Its biggish. Maybe even the greatest jump. So big, its like flying. 

And everyone sees a blob of flesh jump up the ledge, and onto the huge tower of the archmage Fran. It's kinda like seeing a pig fly, so everyone glances up at it, and then goes back to daily business, believing their eyes are tired and their brains play tricks on them.

I land. I land by smacking my bod into the stone walls of the tower, and the wall breaks apart, as they always do. I mean, why even make walls, all they do is break when some bigger force comes along. 

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

Anyway, I digress. 

I land, in the room of the archmage Fran. I look around, typical archmage like decorations. Super nerdy, books and scrolls everywhere, weird contraptions all over, a small bed in the middle, with more books all over it. 

How does this archmage even stay in this kind of place? It's so dingy and gloomy. 

The huge hole in the wall now lets sunlight in, so I think I helped with decor. Its easier to read when there's natural lighting after all.

Footsteps. Soft ones, but frantic. I think its the archmage.

A door slams open.

I am right! It is the archmage! 

Ah, archmage Fran! Tall, lanky, wearing a gorgeous skinny dress, that really flaunts that well endowed chests. Black hair, and typical witch hat, pretty face and long legs. Gorgeous. Just gorgeous!

"Who are you, and what do you want?" She yells, her magic stick glows. Where she is going, she won't be needing that magic stick. 

I smile. 

She frowns, or maybe she just looks disgusted. Either way she still looks gorgeous. 

Her stick glows and a lightning flies at me. And... I swat it away. 

Her eyes widen, and her stick glows some more. More lightning bolts fly at me.

Swat. Swat. Swat. I have to use two hands now.

The thunderbolts all get swatted aside, and her eyes and mouth opens even bigger. Maybe her eyes would pop out soon. But no, no. That would be not good, I want her eyes where it should be. On that beautiful face. 

She draws a skinny rapier at the side. I could hear her panicky breathing now. 

"What are you here for?!" She grips the rapier. She obviously never used it before, prefering to use her magic. 

Hmm. Should I answer her?

"Are you here to kill me?"

Kill her? No! Such a beauty should be protected!

She steps back. 

I step forward, the room on top of this tower is really tiny, so not much space to run really. 

Her rapier pokes my chest. And it bends. It's unable to pierce through my body.

Her eyes widen, and she shakes in fear. 

I swat the rapier away, and it falls on the floor.

"What... what do you want?"

"Would you like to join my harem?"

She gulps.