"Here are the land rights and all thr ancilary titles for those mountains." The old man that runs the land office of the kingdom passes me a stack of paper.

I grab them, and woof they disappear into my unlimited item box. All OPMCs have an unlimited hammer space, so, me too!

"Great! It's really cheap. 1,000 gold for five mountains!"

"That's cause there's monsters, no mineable minerals, and it is absolutely secluded!" The old man shakes his head. He thinks I am crazy, and if I am not an OPMc, I probably am crazy. But when I am an OPMC, everything is possible!!!

"Ah Perfect! Nothing I can't change."

I step out of that dark, musty place, and into the capitol. Ah, bureaucracy. I honestly rather enjoy it, there's something about pushing papers that seem really fun. It's like a game of taichi, trying to get what you want by pressing so and so buttons.

Anyway, I got distracted again. So, archmage Fran, that beautiful lady agreed to be my harem member, but she puts a whole list of conditions. To be fair, I expected it. I recall weddings in Asia having convulted ceremonies such as dowry, gifts, a set of presents, and families expecting a home for their daughters before letting them go, so, for a gorgeous lady like herself to demand conditions is entirely reasonable!

Who wants to work hard after all?

I pause.

I think I just justified golddigging behavior. Holy cow. So archmage Fran is a golddigger?

Hmm?

Or was she expecting me to be unable to fulfill her demands?

Ah whatever. Easy peasy requirements, so lets get to it.

I snap my finger, and a rift in space appears before me, taking right to the mountains that I just purchased a while ago.

Ah mountains. Its like the untouched Swiss Alps, or Japanese Alps. Whatever, its alpine, theres pine trees eveywhere, snow covered mountains, a valley with a lake. Yup. Heavenly.

Except, for the regular man of the street, there is actually a huge dragon that lives on the mountain, a monster in the lake, and the pine forests are home to some of the largest dire wolves in the world.

So, the first thing an OP MC gotta do, is to pay a visit to the denizens of my newly owned land.

I jump, and I fly through the air, twirling, spinning, like an acrobat, or an olympic gymnast, and then I land right in front of the dragon's cave. If I recall, the advertising for the sale of the land claims there is a black dragon here.

"Hello? Anybody home?" I shout, and it echoes into the room. I think he's home, I sense his presence.

And a breath of fire shoots out from the depths of the cave.

I slap it away. Of course. Would not want the fire to ruin the rest of this peaceful, idyllic valley. The fire stops instantly, and that also made the black dragon come out.

He pops his head out and he looks at me. And he freezes, and then his neck and head lowers till it touches the floor.

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"Oh.. Oh. I did not know that the God Slapper is visiting! My apologies for my little greeting earlier, I was just too excited!"

I laugh.

"Yes, it is I." I walk a bit nearer. "Anyway, I bought these mountains from the King, so I legally own the lands now. I plan to build a palace by the lake, so, I want you to leave my people alone."

The dragon nods furiously. "Yes yes, God Slapper. I will stay as far away as possible."

"Good. That's all."

The dragon quickly hides back into its cave, and in its mind it wonders why does the God Slapper even need to buy land. What he claims will not be disputed anyway, who dares to defy the one who slapped the gods for disturbing his masturbation?

Next, is the lake monster. I jump right next to the lake, and I slap the water of the lake lightly.

A shockwave spreads out from my touch, and it causes the lake monster to fly out.

It screams "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~"

I look. "Oh. It's you."

The lake monster is an old acquaintance. An OPMC knows many many people in his life, after all.

"Hey. I am gonna build a palace here."

The lake monster falls back into the water. I think the shockwave sent him flying for about half a minute.

"Go ahead I am not staying anywhere near you!" He instantly starts crawling out of the lake, and runs. The lake monster is something like a mix of a giant turtle and a stegosaurus. Wait, isnt that just the Loch Ness Monster? Anyway, it seems I scared him off, so that's settled.

Next is the pack of dire wolves.

I howl. Yes, I, an OPMC, can howl. I learnt that as part of my animal tamer trainings.

And the howl attracts all the pack leaders to me. They are huge, big black wolves the size of a pickup truck.

The pack leaders growl, and they all attack me with all their strength.

*slap* *slap* *slap* *slap* *slap*

One slap for each of the 5 pack leaders, and they all collapse instantly on the floor. They all are alive, of course. I don't mean to kill them.

The slaps scared the shit out of all of them, and all the five pack leaders pee.

"It stinks, stop peeing."

They instantly tried to hold their bladder.

"Okay, I am going to build a palace right next to the lake. Any of you who tries to interfere or attacks the palace ia going to be killed and thrown into the middle of the lake, or fed to the dragon up there."

They whimper in fear.

"Is it understood?"

The five wolf pack leaders nod knowingly, their still lay on the ground, their faces all still have a slap on it.

Great! That settles it.

"Good. I will pick a nice location now."

I jump midair, and I slowly glide downwards. And I see a small stream that leads to a lake. Lovely place.

After I land, I jump again, this time towards that stream.

Ah. The place is abit uneven, so if I want to build a large palace I would need a fair bit of groundwork. Hmm...

I slap the ground, and a shockwave goes out. The trees in the way of the shockwave shake, and then they transform into animated ents.

"Guys, I'm planning to build a palace here. Please move yourselves to another location, unless you would like to be turned into furniture."

The trees run off.

Great, I now have a clear area, but the ground is still not even.

I slap the ground again, and the portion of earth shakes. After the shake settles, it becomes three flat surfaces, like steps. It looks a bit like the stepped rice fields. A flat palace is boring, some undulation in the terrain allows for more beauty.

Okay.

Groundwork done. Area secured. Now to find me an architect, a few artists and an army of builders.

I snap my finger, and through a rift in space I go.

I may be an OPMC, but I am not gonna be building my own palace.

----------------------------------------

Fran's POV.

What the fuck is happening. I keep trying to cancel the contract, but that fucker was not lying when he says its sealed with divine tier magic. Who the hell has divine tier magic, and why the fuck did I sign it.

This is stupid. I am stupid. What the hell did I do? How did I just get carried away by a discussion about a harem into signing one myself!

Ugh!

Stupid stupid.

Maybe if I'm not so pretty he will let me go?

The contract appears, and it zaps me for attempting to breach the contract.

Ugh! Divine tier magic with automatic contract enforcement! So, so absurd!

Who is that guy? Why is he so powerful?

I run around town, and everyone says they have never seen him before. That's impossible. Anyone with divine tier magic is going to be well known to the world!

Or did he use a trick on me?

Ahhhhh..

After a while I just got so frustrated, and just decide to sleep instead.

And guess what? I get dreams! Of Him!!! We're walking down a beautiful stream, riding a small boat on a beautiful lake, having picnic. What. The. Hell.

I am so confused.