By the clock on the nightstand, it was nearly four in the morning when I’d laid down, but I set the alarm for eight. I didn’t want to miss the chance to talk Colin out of his crazy idea. I struggled up when the alarm sounded and spent some time just sitting on the edge of the bed, collecting my thoughts. Turns out it was a good thing I’d gotten up early. I found Colin in the dining room, eating at the long table alone. He refused to hear my objections, but was more than happy to give me more details.
“The truck passes the gas station at three in the afternoon. It’s a few hours to get there and I want to make sure we get there with time to spare. We should probably leave here by eleven at the latest.”
“You never told me how you plan on getting to this gas station without being seen.”
He laughed around his mouth full of eggs. “That’s easy, actually. My father had an underground tunnel built off the garage. It runs all the way to an access road by the highway. We’ll take one of the small SUVs out that way and hit the highway. They’ll never even know we’ve left. I never thought I’d be happy my dad was such a nut.”
His dodge did not amuse me. “And then what? How do you plan to stop the truck once you get there?”
“A little high water should do the trick. But we’ll have to be quick. The trucks keep a tight schedule and we may have questions to answer if we’re late. I want us to get as far as we can without talking to anyone.”
“Listen, Colin…”
“Still at it then?” Mel asked as she sat down at the table. She was wearing black pants and a long sleeve black sweater, combined with her long black hair and pale skin. She looked ready for a funeral.
“It just seems risky rushing into something this big without more of a plan,” I said. “Why not wait until after this whole meeting with agent Knoll?”
“The problem is,” Colin said. “We have no way of planning something better. I don’t think there’s more intel to get and I don’t think it would help even if there was. And the trucks only run every two weeks. We either do it now or not at all.”
“Ok, then why not use Stephen? He would make this a lot easier and probably safer to get in.”
Colin was shaking his head before I finished. “We need to move fast, and that limits what Stephen can do.”
“And he probably wouldn’t go anyway,” Mel laughed.
“I think you underestimate Stephen if you think that is true,” Colin said to her. I sort of agreed with Mel but was glad to hear Colin wasn’t leaving him behind because he was too afraid to go.
Mel dismissed his comment. “Whatever you say. I’m going to get some breakfast.”
“Colin, there’ll be more time. We can gather more Phoenix here and go when we are better able to defend ourselves.” I was pleading and I didn’t care.
“I don’t think there are any more to find, new ones, at least. Nate hasn’t felt anyone new in a while, since you, in fact, and from what I can tell, it’s the same all over. I think the changing is done, or whatever started it has stopped. I don’t know.” He got up and gathered his dishes. “I’ve got a lot to get ready.”
I liked Colin, and I owed him a lot, but his idea was horrible. I wished I could get him to see it. Maybe I could talk some sense into the others. And I hadn’t forgotten Nate and what I needed to say to him.
After some searching, I found David on a small sun porch drinking tea. He greeted me warmly, but seemed distracted while I discussed my concerns. When I'd exhausted my complaints, he silently sipped his tea and stared out the window.
“You have legitimate concerns. But it changes nothing. This has always been our plan. Those people need help, and I don’t think there's anyone else in a position to help them right now.”
“That’s noble, but I’m getting real sick of hearing it.”
“Sadly, though, it’s true. Do you think I want to go? Risk my life or worse, risk being put in a position where I have to take another’s life? I’m not doing this because I want to. None of us are. We have to help those people if we can, Jemma.” He sighed. “I miss being a designer. Less chance of having to murder people.”
“I understand David, I do. I would even help. Hell, I want to help. But I can't stand the idea of losing any of you. We are hanging on by a thread here. What happens to the rest of us if you all get caught, or worse?”
“You’ll carry on here and I imagine plan a rescue.” He smiled. “We’ll be ok, Jemma. Colin knows what he is doing. Trust him.”
Having made no headway with David and knowing Mel wouldn’t care what I had to say, I went in search of the last member of the group, Nate. But I didn’t find him in the library or the AV room. The only person I could find was Sean at the bar. I sat down with him.
“Seriously Sean? It’s not even noon.”
“It’s apple juice.” I doubted it. “But I thank you for the concern, angel. It’s touching.” He sounded bitter.
“What’s your problem?”
“The most beautiful girl in the world won’t give me the time of day.”
I laughed. “Leave it to you. Impending war, perilous rescue attempt, and negotiations that could change our lives and all you can think about is getting in Anna’s pants.”
He got up, but stopped and looked back. He was grinning, and he leaned over, his lips brushing my cheek as he whispered, “I wasn’t talking about her, Jemma.” Then he walked away, and I just sat there feeling stupid. I could still feel his breath, smell the alcohol on it. I knew that wasn't apple juice. He was just trying to get me riled up. That seemed to be a hobby of his.
I wandered around the house for most of the day. I looked longingly at the sunlit grounds, but we still couldn’t risk going out. I was run out of the kitchen a little after noon by Fletch and had lunch instead with Kennedy and Stephen in their room. It seemed Stephen had been sneaking things out of the kitchen for weeks and they now had a fully stocked pantry.
I spent some time in the library with Cooper. He laughed at my shock when he told me he was a used car salesman before the change. “But..” I said in disbelief, “you’re so intelligent and...and mannered.” He beamed at the praise.
I stayed out of the AV room. Mel and Ben had taken up residence there and didn’t seem interested in company. The only person I wasn’t able to find was Nate. I hoped to see him at dinner at least, but he was absent when we all sat down at the big table.
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Despite Kennedy's jokes and Sean's drunken banter, the mood at dinner was somber. Everyone seemed lost in their own thoughts. I retired to the library in the hopes Nate would wander through, but all I found was Ben in his corner oddly, though without Mel. I had been sitting lost in a book for sometime when he finally spoke.
“Why keep using the name?”
“What?”
“Jemma? Why keep it up? It’s not yours.”
I nervously looked around the room, but we’d been alone for some time. “Because it’s me now, I guess. I don’t feel like anything else fits…” I shrugged irritably. “I’m different. Why shouldn’t my name be?”
I expected him to laugh, but he just grunted. “Wish I had thought of changing mine.”
“Nothing wrong with Ben…”
He waved a hand. “It’s plain, common. Of course, it would take some thought to find something better. Wouldn’t want to pick the first thing that popped in my head and be stuck with something ridiculous…”
“I will come over there and punch you in the face.” But I grinned at him.
“I’ll have Mel break your arms.”
“I’ll heal them and punch you again.”
He looked thoughtful. “What if she tore them off? Do you think they’d grow back?” I threw my book at him and he laughed. It was the first time I’d ever heard him do that.
I went to bed late still without having found Nate and spent the next day wandering around the house until dinner, still without success. I was missing him, I realized. I had gotten used to our talks and the comfort I found when he was around.
Sean took a seat next to me as he helped himself to a slice of beef in dark gravy. “‘Night angel. What’s eating you?”
“Nothing.”
“Sure. Ok don’t share then. But I could probably help you know.” He put his hand on my knee and leaned close enough for his shoulder to touch mine.
I laughed and shook my head. “Doubt it.” I picked up his hand and replaced it on his own lap with a pat. He just laughed. Sean was crass and bold and ridiculously unmannered, but he didn’t mean harm. He definitely wasn’t what I’d call charming, but I saw it as his own awkward way of trying to offer comfort, which I could appreciate. And as much as I hated to admit it, the attention was nice.
By the time dinner was over, I was tired. But I couldn’t wait any longer. No one would have time to talk tomorrow. I caught Colin as he was leaving the dining room.
“You look tired again Jemma,” he said. “You should get some rest. We will all need it.” He thought I wanted to argue more.
“I know. I will, but I was hoping to talk to Nate. But I haven’t seen him all day. Do you know where he is?”
“He was in his room earlier and he didn’t want to come down, so we talked there.” He regarded me for a moment. “Second door on the right.”
I hesitated outside the door. My instinct was to hide until all this blew over. Emotions were not my forte, but I reminded myself again of what was happening tomorrow and what Nate had done for me. I owed him and I would not let him leave thinking I hated him. But when he didn’t answer after three knocks, I figured he wasn’t there or didn’t want to talk. I went dejectedly back to my own room.
It was only seven in the evening, but I’d only had a few hours of sleep the night before and I wanted to be up early again, so I got ready for bed. I changed and was on the steps to the bedroom when there was a tap at the door. It was Nate. Of course, he would have to show up now.
“I heard you were looking for me.” His words were stiff. Well, I wanted to fix this tonight, didn't I?
“Yeah. Do you have time to come in?” I opened the door wider at his nod. We stared at each other for a moment. I would say what I had to and deal with the rest later. My words failed, though, when I looked up at him. So we just stood there staring at each other uncomfortably until I found my nerve.
“I just wanted to tell you that I get it. I understand what you were trying to say the other night, and it’s ok. I’m sorry if I seemed upset with you. You can’t help the way you feel and I had no business acting like a child. We were stressed, tired, and drinking, and I just want you to know that I had no right to get mad because you didn't want... didn’t feel the same way I did.” I stopped, feeling like a complete idiot all over again. He was looking at me like he agreed and then, rather unexpectedly, he laughed.
“You think that’s funny?!” I snapped. So much for holding my temper.
“You think I stopped because I didn’t want you?” He said, still laughing.
“You...you did. Didn’t you?”
“No.” He stepped closer. “You’ve got it wrong Jemma. I stopped because I thought,” he sighed. “I was afraid the only reason you were there, with me, like that, was because of all those things; fear and stress and alcohol. I took you there, got you drunk, and started pawing at you.” He shook his head and lowered his eyes. “I made an ass of myself.”
I reached up and touched his face, then quickly pulled him into a hug, burying my face in his neck. I felt him laugh more than heard it and his big arms wrapped around me.
“I was tired and stressed and scared, but I didn’t want you to stop. You weren't the ass. I was.”
He pulled away just enough to look down at me. “I was afraid I'd lost my chance…” He pulled me close again and gently brushed his lips against mine. I stopped myself from pushing him further than that. This was something I wanted, more than I was willing to admit, really, but I didn’t want to force it. I didn’t want to scare him away again. He pulled back and ran his hand over my hair. “You’re tired. I should go.”
“Please don’t.” I couldn’t help myself. Now that he was here, I didn’t want to let go. “I am tired and I know you have things to do, but you could stay...for a bit.” He kissed me again. It was getting harder to not be aggressive. I took his hand and walked to the couch. I curled up next to him with my head on his shoulder. It was blissful to feel his arms around me, to feel so warm and safe.
I woke up disoriented. The sun was up and I was in my bed, alone. I didn’t remember getting there or Nate leaving. I rolled over and looked at the clock. It said ten fifteen. I jumped out of bed. What if they’d decided to go early? Why didn’t someone come and get me? I paused long enough to throw on clothes and ran out the door. I rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs at a run, but stopped short. Everyone was still in the library, staring at me.
“Jemma,” Colin greeted me. “I was hoping to see you before we left.” He, Cooper, and David were standing over the papers again. I tried to steady my breathing and straighten my hair, but I gave up when I realized my shirt was on backwards. Colin was staring at the scattered papers intently and talked quickly. “I’ll call in once we get to the highway and again once we have the truck. After that I’ll try to give updates as I can but it may be difficult. Don’t panic if you don’t hear from us right away. I’m going to keep out of sight as much as possible, as I’m probably the only one of us who can be connected to this place. Still, if something goes wrong and they make that connection, they might come here in retaliation. I’d like you all to keep a round-the-clock watch again, just in case.” There was no point in arguing now, so I just nodded with the others and eventually walked off when Colin became engrossed in the paperwork again.
Mel and Ben were in their corner. Ben had pulled his chair to face Mel’s and was gesturing wildly while he talked low. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but it didn’t look like he was getting through to her. Nate was standing with Kennedy and Stephen. They turned when I approached.
“Good morning sleepyhead.” Kennedy said. “I was wondering if you were going to make it before everyone left.”
“Yeah. I would have been pretty upset if I hadn’t.” Nate had the good sense to look abashed. I turned to him. “I don’t suppose I could talk you out of going on this rescue mission. Or maybe trying to talk some sense into Colin?”
He smiled and shook his head. “No.” Kennedy must have noticed the way he was staring because he quickly excused himself and Stephen. He was a good man.
“I mean it Nate. I wish you wouldn’t do this. Any of you. I know it's important, but we have so much trouble already. Or at least let me come with you. I can help keep you safe.”
“Colin told me you might try this. You know we have to go Jemma. And you know you have to stay.” He moved a little closer and lowered his voice. “Maybe when we get back, you’ll let me make you a drink again.”
I tried to be angry, but it was hard. “I would like that.” I wished we were somewhere else, somewhere alone, but I took his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “Please be careful, Nate.”