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Once We Were
Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

The next few days were relatively uneventful compared to that first night. I suppose anything short of a full out fire fight would have been, but I was grateful all the same for the relative peace. I stayed in the library when I wasn’t sleeping, which was still quite a bit. And I had managed to meet everyone in the house the first night, which was good because now they all seemed busy doing other things. No idea what, just things. Everyone passed through the library at some point during the day, but they were too distracted to talk. I felt a little useless, but Colin assured me the few times I asked that there would be plenty to do after I was rested. I asked a lot of questions, but there wasn’t much he could tell me I didn’t already know. He tried to answer my questions as best he could, but there was only so much that anyone knew. A lot was still a mystery, even to him. I spent some time reading more articles Colin had lying around, but they didn’t do anything but depress me.

Ben was the only one I saw regularly, but Mel was usually with him and I tried to avoid them both when I could. Colin wouldn’t let me take my turn watching over Sean. He said they had it covered. According to him, Sean was still breathing and had better color, but showed no signs of waking. I was worried about him never waking up, but Colin still insisted he couldn’t be taken outside the mansion.

Nate visited every evening. Usually with a tray of food. Breakfast and lunch didn't have set times, but there was usually always food ready and waiting in the bar. Dinner was a sit-down affair, though, and I was just too tired and weary to deal with a room full of small talk. Or worse, big talk about what was happening. I think Nate caught on and for that, I was grateful.

The first night I asked every question I could think of about what was happening. Many he didn’t have answers for, more I didn’t like the answers too. But eventually we moved on to other things. We talked about our lives and things we liked and disliked over fancy dinners, which usually included at least one item I didn't recognize. I still wanted a cheeseburger, but I enjoyed having him there enough I didn't mind the food.

Cooper was also good for a chat when I found him milling around. Despite his formal manner, he was easy to talk to and never made me feel unwelcome. Mel certainly did, though, whenever I caught her not lurking in Ben’s corner. But I got the impression she was like that with everyone, so I tried not to be too offended. I got a formal introduction to the pretty blond girl one evening as well. Anna, the same Anna Nate had told the story about the first night. She was quiet and usually some amount of distraught about something, but she seemed okay otherwise. David would come to the library in the evenings and sit with a book. He never said much, but his quiet company was an agreeable change from Ben’s lurking.

Eventually I woke up early one morning, so early the sky was just starting to brighten, and I almost felt normal again. Well, as normal as I could considering. Meaning I didn’t feel like I was on the verge of falling over every few steps. I took a long shower and put on fresh clothes. I even brushed my wet hair. As I reached for the toothbrush, though, my hand brushed a small drinking glass off the sink. It fell to the floor and shattered, spraying glass everywhere.

“Damn it.” Leave me in a nice place for five minutes and, of course, I break things. I grabbed another towel from the stack and started gathering the shards of glass in it. I picked up a larger piece but dropped it again when I felt a sharp pain in my finger.

I saw a drop of blood form at the tip of my finger, so I stood up, turned on the tap and ran the cool water over the cut. As I washed the blood away, the pain subsided and the deep cut closed and was gone.

I stared at where the cut had been for a long time. I wasn’t sure I had really seen what I thought I’d seen. There had been a cut. Hadn’t there? I’d felt it. There were still drops of blood on the sink. I looked at my finger again, held it under the light, rubbed it and brought it closer to look again. But there was nothing there.

Maybe I was still feeling the effects of the change? I tried to go on getting ready for the day, but I couldn’t shake the empty feeling in the bottom of my stomach. I was a little tired, sure, but I was still coherent and I knew what I saw. What if this was something else? I sat down on the edge of the shower and looked at my hands again. What if this had something to do with changing? There was really only one way to know for sure.

I picked up one of the larger shards of glass from the towel still laying open on the floor. Man, was I going to look like an idiot if this didn’t work. I hissed as I pulled the edge of the glass across my palm and immediately regretted my ridiculous plan. Blood sprang up from the cut immediately and I put my hand under the running water. As I watched, the pain died and the long cut became shallower and then closed completely without leaving a mark. I sat down heavily again on the edge of the tub, still staring at my unmarked hand. It occurred to me that until this moment, I really had believed none of it. Sometimes I’d entertained the idea. I’d considered it, thought about it, but I hadn’t really believed it until now. I put my head in my hands and cried. This was all too much.

Eventually, I ran out of tears and left the bathroom, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave and face the others. I felt like they’d all know as soon as they saw me. And I didn’t want them to know. I didn’t want to know. I looked in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy and my damp hair clung to my face and neck. I traced a small scar above my left eye I gotten when I was nine falling off my bike. I don’t know what I was expecting, but that reminder of who I had been was comforting.

Despite not being tired for the first time in nearly a week, I went back to bed. I stared out the open window for a long time, hardly able to form a thought, but sleep wouldn’t come, so I walked around the small living space looking at nothing and eventually found my way back to the bed to stare some more. It’s hard to say how long I laid there, but I must have eventually dozed off. A knock on the door startled me awake. I wanted to ignore it, but knew eventually I’d have to face the others.

I found Nate at the door with a covered plate of food. “Haven’t seen you much today. Still feeling the effects?” He sat the tray on the table and moved to his usual spot on the couch.

“No. Maybe a little. I’m feeling better now, I think. I just needed some time today to... I don’t know, think?” Well, that didn’t sound lame at all.

But Nate just nodded and pulled back the cover on the tray. I took a seat next to him and began picking sliced strawberries out of a delicate blue bowl. I laughed a little. “I’m having a hard time getting used to having someone else fix my meals and clean up after me.

“Yeah, but take my advice and don’t try cooking for yourself. Fletch hates other people messing with his stuff. And speaking of cleaning, Celia mentioned this morning she found broken glass and blood in the bathroom. Did you cut yourself?”

There was nothing accusing in his tone or the way he asked, but the strawberry suddenly tasted sour. I swallowed and tried to look innocent. “No. I mean, yes, but nothing serious. Nothing to worry about. Just knocked a glass off the sink. I was tired and not paying attention. I’m pretty clumsy anyway and I was tired.” I felt like a rambling idiot, but he just nodded again.

“Well, I’m sure it was nothing you can’t handle being a nurse and all.”

I sighed in relief and turned back to the food, but my appetite was gone.

There was really no need to keep it from him. It wasn’t like he didn’t know what I was. Hell, he knew more about it than I did. Still, what was happening scared the shit out of me and anyone else knowing about it scared me too. I was aware that didn’t make much sense, but it didn’t change how I felt. Nate didn’t seem to notice my dilemma, though.

We talked a while longer, but I was distracted and Nate assumed I was still tired, so he excused himself early. I picked up a book I had carried out of the library, but I couldn’t keep my thoughts on the words. It was dark outside when I made it back to the bed. I closed the curtains, crawled under the blankets, and settled in for a restless night.

I woke up early the next morning feeling a little more ready to face the day. I was still uncomfortable, but talking with Nate had helped me realize a few things. First, I was still me. I felt different, true. Hell, I was different in a lot of ways, but I was still mostly me. Second, everyone here was in the same boat. It helped to be around people who wouldn’t shun me for this thing that had happened. Even if I wasn’t ready to share all the details just yet, it was comforting to know I could whenever I was ready.

The hall outside was quiet, and I didn’t find anyone in the library or the bar. Even Ben was absent from his corner chair. I wandered around the open space for a bit, looking at the books on the shelves and enjoying the quiet. I was tired of waiting for anyone to appear and decided to find breakfast on my own.

I did not know where the kitchen actually was, only that the cook's name was Fletch and you shouldn’t mess with his stuff. One of the others usually brought the food out for breakfast and lunch and I hadn’t been to a dinner, so I was at a loss where to look. I tried the door between the two staircases. Inside, I found a massive dining room. The long table running down the middle could have sat an army. A delicate patterned cloth ran the whole length of the table and a gold chandelier hung over the middle. Tall glass front cabinets around the room held various ornamental dishes and figurines. Across the room another door stood slightly ajar, soft light fell across the rug from inside. When I pushed the door open, I found a kitchen to match the dining room with big ovens, heavy duty metal sinks, and even an open fire pit. One long line of windows gave a pleasant view of the garden I had seen from the upstairs hall. A marble top island stood in the middle of the room, over which hung a variety of shining pots and pans. There was a stooped elderly man standing at it, shredding carrots into delicate ribbons. His long white side button coat hung off his lean frame. The few tufts of gray hair he had were neatly combed, and his wrinkled face was pinched in concentration. He could have been doing brain surgery instead of making a salad. This must be Fletch. As I walked closer, he looked up and narrowed his eyes.

“Ah, another unfamiliar face. Mr. Torrington has so many new friends. It is hard to keep up.” He sounded like he wished this Mr. Torrington would stop making friends.

“Sorry, who?”

“Ah, yes. Colin, it would be to you, I suppose. Mr. Torrington does not hold with the formalities.” It was obvious he did not agree with that behavior, either.

“I’m sorry to bother you. I didn’t see anyone in the library, so I thought…”

“Mr. Torrington, Mr. Ward, and Mr. Montgomery left early this morning. Mr. Torrington informed me a formal breakfast would not be needed today.” He blew an annoyed breath out his nose. “I imagine our other guests are still in bed.”

So Colin and Cooper had left? “Who’s Mr. Montgomery?”

He looked for a moment like he wouldn’t answer. “Nathan” He growled.

Where could they have gone? With all the talk of how dangerous it had become for changers, I assumed everyone would be lying low for a while. Surely they didn’t go looking for more changers after the disaster with Sean. They probably just went for supplies or something. All this stuff had to come from somewhere, so that made sense. But I couldn’t shake the dread that something was wrong.

Fletch cleared his throat loudly. “Will you be needing something, then?”

“Uh, I would be happy to make something myself. It’s no trouble...”

He puffed up indignantly. “You most certainly will not! Mr. Torrington would never allow it.” I doubted that. “And you would probably have the kitchen a disaster. Just tell me what you would like to have and I will prepare it.”

“You don’t have to do that. Do you have any toast or pop tarts or…” the cook looked like he was going to have a stroke, “...or whatever you have will be fine.” I finished weakly.

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He shook himself and walked to one cabinet and began pulling down plates and napkins. “I made some fried bread this morning, just in case.” He placed two pieces of brown bread on a plate and handed it to me with a linen napkin.

I’d never heard of fried bread, but I was willing to take it if it got me out of the kitchen. “Thank you. Do you know where they took the man that came in the other night? He was hurt?”

Fletch had gone back to his carrots but waved a hand to a little side door out of the kitchen. “Somewhere on the west wing, I believe.”

I made my way out the side door and into a long hallway. The top half of the outside wall was all windows looking out on a long porch. I could see another wing of the house on one side and I figured that’s where I needed to go. It felt uncomfortable, wondering though Colin's house without him in it. Even though I knew the general direction I needed to go, I still got lost. At one point, I ended up back in the bar by way of a side door and had to backtrack. I eventually ended up in what I thought was the right section of the house in a long hallway that looked a lot like the one where my room was. But all the doors were closed. Wandering around was one thing, but I couldn’t just go barging into other people’s rooms. I was about to give up and try to find my way back to the library when I saw one door open and a woman appear. She was short and plump, with her gray hair pulled into a tight bun at the base of her neck. Her pale blue button front dress was just short enough to show her clunky black shoes. This had to be Celia, but I approached her with caution, remembering the encounter with Fletch.

“Excuse me. Hello. Are you Celia?”

“Why yes, dear, I am.” The little woman’s face was not quite as lined as Fletch’s and her skin was a lovely olive color. Her nearly black eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiled and shook my hand eagerly. “And you must be Jemma. Why, yes, Mr. Colin was so worried about you when you got here. Yes, he was. He’s such a kind man, Mr. Colin. But look at you,” she reached up and patted my cheek, “You look right as rain now. Such a lovely girl you are, too. I don’t think I have ever seen prettier eyes.”

“Oh, uh, thank you.” I stared for a second. She was not what I had expected, certainly not like Fletch. I remembered there was a reason I’d approached her. “I’m sorry, but I’m a little lost. I was looking for the room where they took the man who came in a few days ago. His name’s Sean.”

“Oh, yes. Yes. I set up the room for him myself.” She lowered her voice and leaned in dramatically. “Dreadful what happened to him. Those awful men should be ashamed.” More loudly she said, “but lucky you were there, child. I heard you saved that poor man’s life. Sweet girl. And so lovely!”

“I...no, I mean, it wasn’t just me…”

“Lovely and modest. Tell me, dear, are you married?”

“What? No, no!” Well, this was getting out of hand.

“What a shame.” Her bright eyes didn’t look especially disappointed. “You know Mr. Colin isn’t married either. No. He is such a kind man and quite handsome, too. Don’t you think, dear?” She smiled expectantly.

“Oh, well, yes. I mean, yes, I knew he was married. Not married, I mean…” And I’d thought she was better than Fletch! “Where was it you said I could find Sean?”

The little woman giggled, actually giggled. “Last door at the end of the hall. Just there.” She pointed to a door further down the hall. “He was still sleeping when I checked his room this morning. I will tell Mr. Colin you were kind enough to check on him.” She patted my cheek again and shuffled down the hall.

Still shaking my head over Celia, I knocked softly on the door she’d indicated. When no one answered after my second knock, I quietly turned the knob and slipped in. The room was dark except for the little morning light, let in by light brown curtains. Sean was laying under a pile of blankets. A chair had been pulled up next to the bed, but it was empty. No one else was in the room. I took the seat and pulled back the covers to reveal one of his arms. I felt for a pulse and found it right away, strong and steady. He still looked a little pale, but his breathing was deep and regular. He was actually remarkably handsome, even unconscious. I guess I hadn’t really looked at him that night in all the excitement. He had dark brown hair and a powerful jaw with a full mouth. There was something wild about his looks.

“I thought the handsome prince was supposed to save me.” I whispered. As if he had been waiting for me to speak, the man opened his eyes. He looked confused and started pulling at his blankets and trying to climb out of the bed.

“Stop, please. You’re safe. You were hurt. You need to lie still.” He struggled to sit up. I stood and tried to push him back down by his shoulders, but he was stronger than his wiry frame suggested.

He grunted, “get off me,” and pushed me away as he climbed out of the bed. I stumbled backward over the chair and tried to catch myself, but it was no use. I twisted around in just enough time to smack my face on the side table. I sat down hard and I felt my lip bleeding.

“Shit.” He walked up and placed a hand on my shoulder.

I picked myself up and turned to face him with my hands raised. “Look, I’m not trying to hurt you!”

He pulled his hand away and started to speak but stopped short and just stared hell?a moment instead. “What the hell.” He pointed at my face. “What the hell!”

It took me a second to realize what had him in such a panic. My lip didn’t hurt anymore. I wiped the back of my hand across my mouth and saw blood, but felt nothing. The cut had healed. He must have seen it as close as he was. Shit.

We just stood there, staring at each other for a few seconds. His eyes moved around the room and he was breathing hard. He was in nothing but a pair of boxers and he looked wobbly or he might have made for the door. I spoke before he could decide to try anyway.

“You’ve heard of changers?” I waited for his nod. “Well, I’m one and so are you.” I really didn’t like saying that.

“No, I’m not. You’re crazy.” He sounded distracted and looked toward the door before looking back at me.

“No, not crazy. I know this is hard to wrap your head around, trust me I do, but my friends came to rescue you. Do you remember that?”

“I remember two dudes busting into my house and telling me I had to come with them. I beat the shit out of one of them. And then some other guys showed up and shot me or something.”

“You beat…? Ok the other guys were FBI, or police, or something and they were trying to kidnap you because of what you are.”

“I’m not...they weren’t...I don’t know what you're talking about.” He was angry but sounded a little more unsure of himself now.

“You remember the light, the heat? Probably destroyed everything around you and then you felt like sleeping for a week?” I was talking fast, I didn’t know how long I’d have his attention. “Have you been depressed for months? Felt like you weren’t whole, like something was missing here?” I pointed at my chest. “The people here, they call themselves Phoenix, they came and got me too. I didn’t like it much either, but they really are better than the alternative. I swear.” Was I really trying to convince someone else of something I wasn’t even sure was real until yesterday? But the guy looked like he would run at the first chance and given he was dead a few days ago, it was probably best I did what I could to get him back to bed.

He just stood there breathing hard and staring at me, though. When he moved, I tensed, expecting a fight, but all he did was walk over and sit on the bed. “Yeah, I remember all that. Happened weeks ago.” He narrowed his eyes. “How’d they find me?”

“It’s a long story. But you were hurt pretty bad.” I moved a little closer to him. “You should lay back down…”

“What was that with your face?” He looked at me accusingly. “There was a big gash in your lip. I saw it and then it just...wasn’t there. What was that?”

“It’s my ability, I think. Quick healing or something. I guess. I’m new to this. Sean, please...”

He rubbed his chest. “How do you know my name? How did I get here?”

“Those two guys, the ones you beat the crap out of? They told me your name after they dragged you back here unconscious. Your heart stopped. We brought you back.” I decided maybe all the details wouldn’t be the best idea just yet.

“Shit.”

“Yeah. And you’ve been out since. You should still be in bed.”

I put my hands on his bare shoulders. He was lean but very well muscled. .Damnit, this was really not the right time to be admiring his shoulders. I tried to push him down gently, but he grabbed my wrist and stood up, pulling me close to him. I was suddenly aware of how attractive he was all over again. And how unclothed.

“I don’t think so. Nice of them to leave a hot girl to babysit me, but I need some answers and then I need to get the hell out of here. Where are my clothes?”

“Hey!” I struggled in his grasp. “I’m not your freaking babysitter and I’m not your maid. I am the person who spent fifteen minutes pounding on your chest trying to save your life, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you undo that just because you want to be stubborn. Now lay down!”

He let go of me but didn’t move back to the bed. “You want answers,” I asked. “Fine. But the guy who can give you answers, the one who owns this house, he’s not here. You get back in bed and I’ll bring him here as soon as he gets back.”

Voices drew our attention outside in the hall. Someone was coming. I turned to Sean nervously. “Listen, no one here knows about my,” I gestured to my face, “ability thing. I would appreciate it if you didn’t say anything.”

He grinned at me. Even that was stunning. “And you want me to trust them?”

“It’s not like that...please.” I knew it wouldn’t really hurt for anyone to know, but it was the only bit of control I had left in this whole mess, and I wasn’t ready to give that up.

“Help me find my clothes and I’ll think about it.”

“You…” The voices were getting closer outside.

“Here”, he said, and inclined his head toward the table.

A washcloth that had been sitting on the table was floating toward me. My jaw dropped. The cloth stopped in front of me, suspended in midair. I turned back to Sean. He was grinning.

“You’ve got a little blood right there.” He put a finger to his lip.

“You knew…”

I heard the doorknob turn. I snatched the washcloth from the air and wiped it across my mouth just as the door opened. Sean turned to face the door just as Ben and David walked in.

Ben’s eyes widened in shock when he saw Sean out of bed. “Shit!”

David turned to him, looking angry. “I told you to stay with him!”

“And I told you I was hungry! He wasn’t doing anything. How was I supposed to know he was going to get up and go running around in his underwear if I left for five minutes?”

David sighed and looked at Sean with a smile. “Hello. It is good to see you up and about. You gave us quite a scare.”

“Yeah, I heard.” He was still standing there in his boxers and looking ready to run. But David didn’t seem to notice his mood. He moved around the bed.

“Well, I’m glad Jemma was here when you woke up. I’m sure you were disoriented.” He moved to a tall chest of drawers along the wall and began pulling out clothes. “Colin had some things brought up for you. I’m surprised you’re feeling like being up after what you went through, but if our resident nurse thinks it’s ok, then who am I to argue?” He smiled at me as he handed Sean the clothes.

“He still needs rest”, Sean looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I gave him a disparaging look and added, “but he can be up for a little while.”

Ben was still standing at the door staring at Sean. “So, Sean, what do you remember about...?”

David cut him off. “Ben, he just got out of bed, with no help from you I might add! Let him get freshened up and have breakfast before you grill him.” He walked to Ben and pushed him toward the door. Ben looked from me to Sean but let himself be led to the door. David turned back before leaving, “Fletch told us you were already down for breakfast,Jemma. Would you mind helping Sean find his way down? I’m starving and I’m going to make that man make me something other than that stupid bread.”

“Yeah, sure. Wait...have Colin and the others gotten back yet?”

He hesitated before answering, “No, I don’t think so.”

“Do you know where they went?”

David turned solemn. “Looking for another Phoenix. Nate felt something late last night.” With that, he left and shut the door behind him.

I stood there staring at the door, my stomach turning. How could they have been so stupid? It was probably another trap. What if they got themselves captured? I had no idea what Colin's or Cooper's abilities were, but Nate’s would be useless if they were attacked.

“So you’re a nurse?”

I turned back to Sean. Something of my fear must have shown on my face. He held up his free hand.

“Shit, girl, I’m sorry about pushing you. I was a little out of my head, but I’m not going to hurt you.”

“What? No. It’s fine. Go get dressed.”

He shrugged his shoulders and walked to the bathroom and shut the door. I sat on the side of the bed to wait.