Bright sunlight streamed through the open curtains when I woke the next day. My eyes burned, and I still felt a little nauseous. I laid there staring up at the tiled ceiling for a long time, trying and retrying to form my thoughts. The events of the previous day played over and over again in my head. Maybe it was all a bad dream? But this definitely wasn’t my bedroom, and I’d definitely never felt like this after a day sitting behind a desk. There was a sudden pang of regret for everything I'd lost.
Eventually, I sat up and looked around the room. It was really a very pretty bedroom. I threw back the covers and regretted it instantly. It was cold, and the silk didn’t provide much protection. I thought of the dirty scrubs I’d left on the bathroom floor and winced. Well, it was better than prancing around in a slip all day. I’d have to find a way to buy some clothes.
I stumbled my way to the bathroom but found it exactly as it was before I’d showered. No dirty clothes or towels on the floor, even the sink was reorganized. I walked back to the living area feeling disoriented, and a piece of paper on the table by the couch caught my eye. I was sure it hadn’t been there the night before. Had it? I grabbed it up and sat down on the couch.
Jemma,
We didn’t want to wake you for breakfast, as I am sure you need the rest, but I had some food left in your room. I also had some clothes brought up for you. You can find them in the dresser by the stairs. I hope you rested well. Please join us in the library when you feel ready.
Collin
I got up and walked to the heavy wooden dresser Colin had indicated and pulled open each drawer. Everyone was full; jeans, skirts, tee-shirts, frilly blouses, underwear, socks. Laid out beside the dresser were a variety of shoes. I picked one up, a blue tennis shoe. It was my size. Where did all this come from? I grabbed up the matching shoe, a pair of jeans, and a white tee-shirt and headed to the bathroom. I needed answers, and I would not get them standing here staring at shoes.
I changed, brushed my teeth, and ran my fingers through my hair. I wasn’t going to be winning any beauty pageants, but it would have to do. I had just walked out of the bathroom when there was a knock at the door. Nate was grinning down at me when I opened it. He shut the door behind him after he came in.
“You look nervous. Are you ok?” He asked.
I couldn’t help but laugh, “Uh no, not really. You know, losing everything I own, finding out I’m some kind of freak, becoming a fugitive all in one day. It’s a bit much.” I slumped down on the couch.
“You’re not a freak. This thing, the change, the awakening... whatever, it’s a good thing.”
I laughed again, but it was bitter this time. Anger was bubbling to the surface again. It was an anger born of fear and helplessness. “You really think so?”
“Yes, we are something special. It’s nothing to be afraid of. I know it’s a lot to take in but there is nothing wrong with us Jemma. You can’t start thinking that way.”
“And who are you to tell me how to think? You're half the reason I’m in this mess.” I regretted lashing out as soon as the words left my mouth. The big man ran a hand through his already messy hair and looked at the floor. The pain on his face only made me feel worse, so I fought down the anger as best I could for his sake. “I’m sorry Nate. I didn’t mean that. It’s just stress and it's a lot to take in, you know?”
He waved a hand in dismissal. “Yeah, don’t worry about it.” He walked around to the fireplace. “You haven’t eaten your breakfast. You should eat. This can take a lot out of you. It may take a few days before you feel normal again.”
“I’m not sure I will ever feel normal again.” Honestly, I’d forgotten about the food, though, and I was starving again. I walked over to where he stood and saw a bowl of slightly soggy fruit and some biscuits. I picked up a biscuit and turned to Nate.
“Where did all this come from? The food, the clothes. Someone came in here and cleaned last night. I locked the door. How did they get in?”
He sat down on the couch. “That would be the maid. She has keys to everything.”
“Maids? Seriously?”
“Maid. Just the one. Her name is Celia. Evidently, she’s been here since Colin was a kid. He tried to send her off when all the trouble started, but she wouldn’t go. Said she’d seen worse, which is probably true since she’s about a hundred. Same with the cook. Personally, I’m glad they’re here. I can’t cook worth a damn and I hate cleaning.”
I smiled and started pulling apart the stale biscuit. Despite my outburst earlier, having Nate there helped. Actually, now that I thought about it, this whole place was like that. I’d spent one night here, and it already felt more like home than my little loft ever had. It felt safe, which was odd, since I didn’t know who else was even here. Maybe I was losing my mind.
“Is there anything I can do to help you?” Nate asked after a few minutes of watching me pick at my food.
“I don’t even know what I need. Answers would help, but that won’t change anything.” I shrugged. “Thank you, though. Really. I’m glad it was you that came for me.” It was true, but it still surprised me. I wasn’t exactly the warm, fuzzy, feeling type. It seemed to please Nate to hear, though, and that took away some guilt from lashing out earlier.
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He smiled, “I am too. I think anyone smaller may not have made it.” He rubbed the back of his hands where there were deep red scratches.
“Oh, God! Nate, I’m sorry. I forgot I did that.” I sat next to him and took his hand. “You need to make sure you keep these clean. Scratches can get infected easily. These don’t look too bad, yet. But, still…” I pulled his hands closer to my face, just to be sure. When I looked up at him, he was staring at me strangely. I realized I had just plopped down in his space and grabbed at him. “... sorry.” I winced internally as I dropped his hand back into his lap and blushed like a moron.
He just shook his head. “It’s fine. I deserved it anyway, for grabbing you that way. It’s not a bad thing. You need that fight to get through all this, I think.” He looked at me for a moment more and then got up. “Anyway,” he shuffled his feet, suddenly uncomfortable. Probably because you just tried to sit on him, idiot. “I just came up to check on you. We’re all in the library waiting for a few people to come back and dinner will probably be ready soon, so…”
“Dinner? What time is it?”
“Um. About 4:30, I think. Why?”
I’d slept all night and most of the day. “Nothing, I just didn’t know it was so late, that’s all.”
“Yeah, changing takes it out of you. You might get tired again soon too. It’s pretty normal from what I’ve seen. I slept for like two days straight after.” He turned toward the door.
“Nate….so...how did you figure it out? I mean, how did you find out what your ability was?”
Nate looked thoughtful as he walked back to the couch and sat down. “I didn’t have any idea at first. I’d been watching the news and stuff, so I knew something was going to happen, but after the fire, I was scared. So, I spent about a week hiding out in a hotel. I was lucky that I lived alone, but still, the whole thing really freaked me out.”
I let out a quick laugh. “Yeah, I think I know the feeling.”
He smiled. Despite his broad shoulders and square stubble lined jaw, that smile made him look like a mischievous little boy. “But eventually I had to leave. I walked to a little corner store a couple blocks from the hotel and I just felt it.”
“What?”
“It’s kind of hard to explain, but it’s like a pull.” He touched his middle. “It felt like there was something pulling me along. It was strong too. I got in my car and drove with no idea where I was going. I was just following a feeling, and I ended up in front of a townhouse on the other side of the city.” He laughed. “I just walked up and knocked on the door without even knowing what I was going to say. But I had to find out. As soon as she opened the door, I knew. I don’t know how, I just did. She was like me.” He shook his head. “She didn’t like it, me telling her I knew what she was. She lived with her parents and they had survived the fire somehow, but we're not taking things well. But she warmed up to me enough that she eventually told me about her ability. I found two more in the city before I came here.”
“Is that how you found this place?”
“Yeah, I felt it. Colin had gathered a few changers, offering a sort of haven from the government types. I guess he’s always been an off the grid kind of guy. Not like a crazy doomsdayer or anything, he just likes to keep to himself. Anyway, that many gathered in one place? It pulled at me. I had to come. And once I was here,” he shrugged, “tracking down others got a lot easier for them.”
“Do all the people you track down want to come here?”
He looked uncomfortable. “I told you, I don’t force people to come here. I won’t. But we do not know what they’re doing with the people who surrender. Most I find are scared and happy to find other people like them. I’m not the only one that does this though. We all do. It’s easier for me, but we hear stories and listen to the police chatter. We haven’t found many, but we try to bring in everyone we can. It’s safer here.”
He seemed uncomfortable with the subject, so I didn’t pursue it any further. Something else had been bothering me, though. “I noticed you don’t mind ‘changer’. But Ben seemed pretty offended when I used it last night. Why?”
He wrinkled his big nose in a half grimace, half sneer, “He doesn’t like it because it doesn’t sound important enough and Ben likes to think he is very important. A lot of people, people who didn’t change, use changer.” He shrugged. “I don’t mind it. It fits with what we are, I guess. There are some here, like Ben, who like to think of themselves as something more, so they don’t enjoy hearing such a common term.” He sighed. “Colin doesn’t like to use it much because that’s what they're calling us in the news when they talk about how dangerous and unnatural we are. That’s why he came up with Phoenix. Born from the ashes and all that you know?”
“It’s kind of cliche.” I said apologetically.
“Well, we kind of had other things on our mind. We just didn’t want to keep calling each other changers when everyone else using it made it sound like a word for shit you find on the bottom of your shoe.”
“You’re right, sorry.”
“No, you’re right, but it’s not like anybody outside the house uses it, anyway.”
“Is it really that bad out there? People getting kidnapped and locked away and everyone is ok with it?”
“You saw those guys last night. Did they look like they wanted to have a friendly chat? And people have always been afraid of what they don’t understand.”
I sat there staring at my hands folded in my lap. No matter how much I heard about what was going on, I just couldn’t make it feel real. I was scared, but it was still distant. Like when you hear about a natural disaster in another country. It was terrible, and it was scary to think about, but it wasn’t your reality. That’s what this felt like, like it was a disaster happening to someone else.
Nate stood up. “They’re probably wondering where I am. I should get back downstairs. Are you coming down?”
“Yeah... I’ll just be a second. Hey, you never said what the girl's ability was, the first one you found with her parents.”
He looked a little embarrassed. “Um, well, it’s kind of a personal thing. Some people don’t like others to know what their abilities are, even other changers. But you can ask her yourself. She’s here. I brought her when I came. Her name’s Anna. You’ll probably meet her tonight.” Nate made his way to the door, but stopped before leaving. “I meant what I said earlier, Jemma.”
My thoughts had already wondered. “What’s that?”
“You’re not a freak.” With that, he walked out of the room.
I didn’t really have anything to do, but I wasn’t quite ready to face a crowd. I'd never been much of a people person and the current situation made things worse. But after a few laps around the room, a thorough examination of the clothes and shoes, and another look in the mirror, I couldn’t find any other reason to stay locked up in the tiny apartment. I figured I would have to face them sometime, and I was getting hungry again, so I headed to the library.