“So you’re saying that one of our teams’s leaders deducted Anna found some artifact allowing her to transform you into sex-starved monkeys and threatened you into endlessly attacking their position? Are you kidding me? And you said no one has seen him since? This dummy sent ten whole teams to their death, and you’re saying he FLED?!!!” Barely restraining my desire to smash my skull against the rock to find out whether I was dreaming or not, I asked one of my men for confirmation of what I had just heard. My eyes were wide with incomprehension.

I couldn’t believe my ears. I just arrived on the scene, fearing the worst because the hero had acted early but received a far-fetched report instead.

What a bunch of fools! They really exceeded all my expectations! I guess the rest will be a piece of cake, then. What the hell am I doing here? My presence, what do I say, my existence seems useless. The hero’s Karma goes back and forth, putting him in complex but self-resolving situations. Am I even needed at this point?

“That’s right. I was part of one of the last groups, and I can attest that much. I’m solely alive thanks to the deserter's friendly attitude toward me. Oddly enough, he put me in charge of the situation before excusing himself, pretending to go to the bathroom. He said he shared my preferences and was proud that I had assumed them openly.”

The plan was not followed from start to end but succeeded nonetheless. I shouldn’t complain since it puts us in a great position. A third of my men were already out of combat, while another third was demoralized or frightened. At the same time, the few survivors who came back from the suicidal assault were either on the verge of madness or tattered and downright insane.

To make matters worse, or better, depending on the point of view, a few enlightened people formed a cult about two supposed goddesses of mercy and slaughter. A cult that quickly gained popularity and followers, which did not fail to affect the remaining force at my disposal.

Hero, one day I’d like to ask you how you did. It's incomprehensible. What should’ve been a hard struggle turned into an almost joke fight.

Feeble women supported by worn-out adventurers without weapons and protected by few but strong elites against more than a hundred veteran thieves, bandits, and criminals armed to the teeth. I never thought we would be able to finish without loss, all-powerful as the hero is compared to them; he was, in the end, still alone and with a burdensome wife to protect.

Bah! Whatever. Now, all I had left to do was end this twist of fate.

One thing is sure: I can’t and should not let go of the hero’s hand. Despite his atrocious nasty fame, almost negative, he is a man worth befriending. As impressive as it sounds, sometimes the respect he deserved was enough to compensate for his perverted inclinations.

“Everyone! Listen to my order! We shall meet the supposed hero and the evil red angel. If you’re part of the reinforcement teams, follow me!” Shouting my command, I took the lead with a sure step, followed by the bandits that didn’t had the chance to fight yet.

Along with a few brave souls, I entered the gallery accompanied by the remaning thugs who had yet to witnessed the horror awaiting them. As we passed, some lunatics in the way advised me not to anger the hero, before praying to their new god.

This alone was enough to give me goosebumps, but unfortunately that was not all.

If the entrance presented no abnormality since the battles hadn’t reached this far yet, the middle part was already profoundly wounded by many scratches and abrasions. It showed the hast my men had demonstrated in their retreat.

Blood tracks could be easily followed from this point. Further splashes of blood and cut marks, incised right on the rock, were spread on the wall like cave paintings. Various abandoned equipment lay on the ground. Then, the art left its place to a true scene of a massacre.

The gallery end was in a mess: pools of blood, pieces of flesh, destroyed weapons, and armor parts were everywhere to be seen. I won’t even bother to describe the corpses’ miserable state and their fearful faces, desperately seeking solace and occasionally finding it.

For the part that had yet to abandon and rush back, the butchery that had happened left us speechless and shivering. The most fragile couldn’t take it and started to puke as soon as the scenery entered our sight and turned around without even asking permission or approval.

I did not want to call them to order or force them to stay. If I had had the choice, I would have done the same. I now understand and acknowledge the survivor's disastrous state of mind.

HELLO!!! ??? CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN ME THE F*CK HAPPENED HERE? Whose furry could’ve gone wild like this to change an underground cavern to a place where one would think the devil summoning ritual had taken place?

I take back what I thought early. Perhaps I should reconsider whether he is worth frequenting… He is far scarier than I had thought he could be. Say, are you sure you actually won against the demon kingdom? And you are not a part of them?

Well, at least this would permanently eliminate any lingering desire to resist when we addressed our surrender issue. In any case, it was not time to dwell on it since I could now see barricades blocking the gallery ahead. It was finally my turn to shine.

Striking a confident pose to convey confidence to my men, I started the little speech I had prepared during the whole night—or, rather, one of the many I had prepared during the night. One is never too cautious, and I had to prepare for any event…

“Hero! Hear me out! I know you’re here! And I know you’re confident in your abilities. But you seem to forget you’re currently underground. You placed way too much hope in Anna’s artifact! Give us your unconditional surrender, or I’ll collapse the whole gallery! If you wish for them to live, send us your wife as a hostage and come forward! And perhaps I will be lenient and allow you to negotiate for the life of the women you protect!”

Perfect, I’m pretty sure I made a good impression. My men shouldn’t suspect anything if I play things like this, and once the hero joins me, we would definitely have the upper hand.

The answer didn’t make itself wait, and the hero replied with a slightly trembling voice.

“We agree to your condition, my dear and adorable lovely wife, who I love more than anything in the world and will be in your hands soon. Treat her well, or I will make sure none of you live to see tomorrow.” The response was also good; although it seems his wife’s praise was a tad forced, his tone showed hints of anxiousness and was enough to put the people following me at ease.

It didn’t take long, and before we could contemplate the scene of the last judgment, the Hero in cosplay came toward us. He wore the mask of a surrendering man and struggled to maintain his confidence, showing a troubled face to make it all credible. What an actor!

His wife, Lily, followed him, advancing while giving a weird, angry, and yet satisfied vibe.

Arriving before me, the closest person spoke. “I, the hero's wife, submit my life to your will. Take care of me…”

“Uh? What the F*–” “Shhh, I’ll explain later.”

After this short exchange, the second person in line didn’t even wait for my command and passed us by without stopping with a simple: “No need to accompany me. I know the way. Tell your men to turn back. If a single one tries to get behind me, I’ll kill him.”

Ah? ... ehh?... … What the f*ck is going on? Why did he… No, forget it… I better stop thinking about it right now, or something tells me it might damage my brain.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

“Okay… I guess we can depart so…?” Can we? Man, I wish I could read in the hero’s head… “Now then, after you, mad–Ahem, sir Hero. Please go ahead and let my men lead you while I follow behind. You can thus ensure none of my men try to make a move on the girls you defend so desperately.”

***

One thing I kept from mentioning was that the gallery, which was supposed to be the barebone of our plan, had not fully been prepared, presumably due to the lack of time and the precipitation of events. Only the lights were correctly set up to darken the galleries and make everything more nerve-racking.

Given the precipitation, I had thought about this possibility and was right to check first before commanding my men to continue their pointless assault. I bet Anna was taken aback and couldn’t set up the traps.

Well, regardless of the reason, it would’ve been a shame and a waste to make the final fight in this galerie. Without the intended traps, the hammer and anvil strategy was losing its effectiveness. Instead of a slow fight, we might as well finish everything in one go and use the vast cave where the bunch of idiots I had under my command were gathered.

And since few would agree to cross the tunnel of horror a second time, this would save me the troublesome task of convincing them…

Unable to follow our initial plan, I had planned to reverse my role with the hero instead. I would no longer prevent my soon ex-coworker from running away while playing the commander role. I definitely wouldn’t be able to do it anymore anyway since the fight would no longer take place in a narrow corridor but in a cave with several exits.

But for the hero, it would be another story. He might have been unable to prevent them from running away completely, but he could’ve run amok as soon as he had been surrounded. With Joe taking another one and the hero’s wife helping on a third, we should be able to contain them until I can take care of a fourth.

I knew the women had some of them capable of fighting, especially a great adventurer with red hair; that one was a fierce opponent even for me. And those were right behind me. They were following us.

As soon as the fight began, they would lock the tunnel leading to the non-combatant, and I would also take care of one exit.

With my faithful henchmen waiting outdoors for any runaway, this should be enough to prevent any leaking. After the mental blow they had already suffered, one could hope that the resistance would be weak and that they wouldn’t even put up a fight, even less if I were to turn traitor.

Everything was not exactly planned, but I dare to say the hero should’ve understood.

In such disarray, a combined attack from everyone surrounding the bandits would have made them crumble and cower in fear. Thanks to the hero aka, The Angel of Death, there was no shortage of abandoned weapons and gear along the way. The ex-captives should even be able to quickly and easily equip themselves and give a hand.

To sum it up, everything should’ve been fine, and I should bear any worry. But That was before the hero made his own project…

WHY!!

Why did he come instead of her in the first place? WHY THE HECK DID HE PRETENDED TO BE HIS WIFE? And can someone explain why they forced my hand to send Lily pretending to be the hero first?

Did they have a better strategy? Can I know it? Well, I could only agree with them anyway. They didn’t give me a choice. Bah, we’ll see. Perhaps there were more than it seemed under their decision to switch places.

Besides… I didn’t think the hero could even cosplay his wife perfectly. I would’ve been fooled like the others if I had known him less. That made me wonder how many accessories he still has. Although I can understand that he switched his clothes with Lily, his hair looked almost identical.

Anyway, they had not not planned for me to realize the change; now I was sure of it. The hero had his own plan, so I went with the flow. Thus, accompanied by the hero disguised as his wife and following behind the real one, who was faking the hero with a wig and a change of cloth, we traveled back to the bandits awaiting us.

“They’re here! They’re coming!” “Did the boss successfully subjugate them? ” “Idiot, as if it was possible, he probably made them surrender by threatening them. We just have to make the tunnel collapse, and they would be hopeless.”

Wow, I didn’t think anyone would be smart enough to consider this possibility. If those idiots were to ask for it, it would’ve been a bother to convince them that it was a bad idea without blowing my cover. Fortunately, once they are at our mercy, they will not be able to consider this option anymore.

“Make place! The hero is coming to bargain for their freedom. I want you to surround him and then let him proceed. Fear not. Since his wife is in my hands, he won’t risk making the first move.

Furthermore, Anna and her dreaded magical tool are no longer an issue. They never were. She only tried to make you believe she had a means to win, whereas the artifact only had limited use. Otherwise, why would she have left me alive.”

That last part was only a small amount of bullshit added to a mountain of crap. I still don’t know where this stupid story comes from, but I’ll use it well. Now, If I reveal myself as a traitor, They’ll all think that she controls me or that I was with her from the start, and she really has that artifact either way. Perfect!

Lily started to cross the crowd whereas we were still behind in the shadow of the tunnel, and a swarm of bad guys looked at her with heavy and contented looks of hatred, glad that everything was finished and that the perpetrator of the atrocities was arrested… Or not, was I wrong to expect them to hate the hero? He was the reason for their fear and mental breakdown, but it seems they didn’t really feel scared or anything.

“Hey! Over There, we were all wrong!! The angel of blood and death was the hero’s wife!!!”

Wait what? Suddenly, every single head turned around to face us, and a little more than a hundred sets of eyes glared at us. Don’t fuck with me! Are you telling me that the author of this bloodshed was… I stopped my thoughts from running wild and focused on what was happening. The hero, cosplayed as Lily, was emitting a killing aura worthy of the greatest demons.

If you’re not the rumored angel of death, why are you currently acting like one? And why are you taking Lily’s place?

“Goddess envoy!!! We willingly submit ourselves to your great being. Have mercy, and we shall help you defeat your enemies and free every captive soul you protect!”

Close to half of my former bandits' coworkers knelt on the ground before the false Lily. While the other half didn't dare move. Hey, how did they manage to convert so much? They would have been better off becoming priests rather than criminals. They were only a few at the start!!

“Hey! Excuse me, but… what should I do to join your rank? Is there a special procedure or anything sort of? I wish to join your sect.” The situation was so insane and unbelievable, so much so that I couldn't stop my mouth from running a joke.

pffffff!!

Far behind me, I could hear some girls desperately trying to restrain their laughter. Probably Anna, Aleve, and some other girls I didn’t know.

The hero, didn’t seem to be overjoyed by the turn of event, given how his death auras and rage grow even more potent. But then, he smiled with a devil's bewitching, a fearsome, bloodcurdling, and spine-chilling grin. One that had the power to reduce any man into an ant and yet that no one can but admire. Are you a fortuitously possessed hero? I started to doubt myself.

Slowly raising his arms, he pointed to the actual Lily, yet false hero location, staring at her with an air of defiance and total bliss.

fufufu <3 “Thou are a sinner. Thou dare to question my divine authority, abuse my greatness, and stain my holiness! Hero, thou deserves to be punished for everything you did to my being!” The hero started to speak nonsense, and Lily's face turned white.

“To everyone, if you truly respect me, obey! Catch that corrupted hero and put him out of harm's way this instant!!!”

All at once, every man previously kneeling stood up and pounced on Lily, whose rage was such that the space around seemed to shake and the air condensed in burning vapor.

“You…” The blazing air froze as quickly as it appeared, and her face became that of an Ice queen.

Am I watching the clash of two supreme evil entities? Behind me, the restrained giggling of the girls turned into laughter, quite loud what’s more.

What happened next was just as incomprehensible and impossible for me or anyone else to follow. While Lily was stunned in place and didn’t even pretend to defend herself, the hero took the opportunity to run and flee the place, trying to escape as his life depended on it. The girls, whose presence was now known to all, burst out laughing while Anna came out of hiding carried by Alev with some sort of magic tool.

Uh, so she really had an artifact? It's beyond understanding. Then Lily, who was about to be drowned under a crowd of cultists, threw something toward the entrance as the hero was passing by and victoriously smiling at her.

BANG!!!

Something exploded loudly, stopping everyone except the hero. Keeping his momentum vastly increased by the sudden blow of the explosion that had happened just on his back, he flew for an instant before crashing violently into the cavern’s wall.