Given the opportunity, if there were to be someone to ask Nekana how she would see herself; the girl would only reply simply and nonchalantly that she’d be a wisp of smoke. No one did ask that question though, but the girl was a lonely one, and she’d talk to herself. Just for the sake of feeling a little bit better. It was the silence, and she craved it.
A wisp of smoke, it sounded all the much secretive and mysterious. The thought of its silky and grey vapour that’ll pass through your very fingertips. The smoke would be visible at first, the smell clogging up one’s nose and giving a noticeable announcement; that it was there. Then gradually and just a little bit interesting she would disappear. It was just that, the fact that she could just go and be fine. No petty burdens of what was ahead or already there and no glorious expectations that she would have to keep up to. She didn’t; but the talk of it did. Fine as in the fact that she’ll just wander around endlessly with no particular dangers whatsoever. A part with the winds that blow, stay still and move.
The wish of it was not in a physical sense that she wanted to travel. Travelling was a trip taken on an occasional event and not on a basis that would be often. It’d be far too exhausting (mentally this time), unless she could just sleep: it’ll be fine then, the brunette wouldn’t mind. Her alternate universe would just travel in the deep depths of her never-ending mind that’d display a variety of adventures on its own alongside the mishaps and the joys of such.
She desired peace, but it was rarely given to her. Home was peaceful, but never truly. Acts of minor responsibility were upheld and no, it wasn’t actually a problem. She just wanted to be free; free from everything and just rest. She was a tired person, Nekana could feel it. The creaks in her very bones and it was something so undeniably simple that hammered those bones. The girl that was in her teens could sigh, at her laziness. Why not? She ought to, or so many said.
Night falls and during its passing the sky lights with light from lampposts instead of the moon or the spaces’ accompanying stars (They were hardly there). Grey clouds float on by, it blur smoke blocking the deep abyss of the night. Nekana looked up, she always did; and admired it. The sky that was so calm and when she slept all the more calm and quiet. So quickly time, no, the night went. Dawn came and so did the splendidly bright sun. Morning rays filled with warmth never did reach Nekana as she were mostly in her room during mornings. The brunette hardly ever experiences gentle warmth as the curtains and the windows always held a barrier. Barricading her from any soothing beams of light. Nope, Nekana would normally experience the opposite instead.
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The brunette would leave the shelters of her room to go out. To wherever and whatever she should go (not could) the harsh light on the sun blazing onto her bodily figure. Forming a layer of sort, hanging on her ever familiar frame. Behind her a shadow followed and it always kept up. Modern science could explain many things and the simplest reason would be that she was mostly blocking the light to shine through that particular angle. The shadow was undoubtedly never questioned as it was always just there. Nekana recalled her memories of the past; whether it was her in the act or those that are performing instead. Always chasing their own shadows, in hopes of outrunning in. they never did of course. With the exception of a specific angle perhaps they did. Had they felt proud of themselves? Overcoming a childishly adorable childhood goal. It didn’t even have to be from a child period of time, in the eyes of many, Nekana was but still a child after all. The brighter the star of life shined, the more obvious the shadow. A joyfully tempting occurrence.
This, Nekana warped. The portals of her mind ringing and she too was currently observing her very own shadow. The brunette strolled in school in a relaxed and straightened posture. Behind her an old friend followed. Despite her claims, Nekana never did once manage to capture or outrun her shadow. Her silhouette was always so unattainable. The task of the game self-played shadow tag was clearly impossible but also so very entertaining. This put a smile on Nekana’s face. It was nothing much; the topic discussed is bland but she just felt like moving her facial muscles. That’s all. The coos of pigeons fill a small part of the sky and trees by the side of the school roads sway. It was getting windy and several grey clouds hovered.
In the further north, slight rumbles could be heard. The glares of the sun had been stopped and Nekana quite liked it. Her favourite weather was coming; the signs obvious. It was going to rain again. The brunette concluded in hopes that she was right and not wrong as it happened often.