4.13

“Honestly, I’ve found the best way to make friends is to laugh over the corpse of a mutual foe.” - Hasan Vashard the Lunar’s Edge.

“What do you mean we require a ‘party’!” a rough voice yelled from within.

A calmer voice answered, “It was in the…”

A different voice interrupted, but the tone was lower, so I couldn’t hear it properly.

“Sounded like an insult,” Noam supplied, hand falling to his ‘sword’, before quickly retracting as he remembered there was a spike on the hilt.

There was a low growl. The first voice.

God, why did it have to be so troublesome?

Noam glanced at me, then upwards towards Yellow. I shrugged. A conversation between us completed in a moment.

We could probably avoid a fight, but it didn’t hurt to be prepared. “On Noam,” I told Yellow as I present my finger as a perch, before depositing it on Noam's shoulder.

“Why Yellow?” Greenie asked as Yellow crawled onto a comfortable spot on Noam’s head.

“Yellow will be more useful with Noam,” I answered. Noam was an opportunist, he seized mistakes by the balls and never let them go. The ability to CC the opponent for even the slightest moment would work far better with him. I already had enough.

Noam patted the shroom on his head, “Watch my back Yellow.”

“Got it!”

“Hopefully you won’t need to act much,” I said to Greenie. It was mainly a damage dealer, if we were going for non-lethal then Greenie’s role should only be as a threat.

“Roo?” Noam asked.

“A bit of Poker as well,” I answered. We’ll run if things turn south like he suggested, but if we could observe then we should.

Noam pushed open the swinging doors of the hut, revealing a much larger space within. Briefly pinning the bigger on the inside than the outside shenanigans on magic, I walked in after Noam, into what appeared to be a standoff.

Twelve people inside, all of whom turned to stare at our interruption, I was, in turn, examining them. Two groups in a standoff, three people to the left, two to the right. Rest were spectators, milling along the fringes.

The left group consisted of a human, a lizard-like person with vibrant red scales and small horn-like protrusions on their temple, and one that was either a halfling or gnome. Her hand was on the hilt of a short sword, but her height made her range limited so she was a low threat until proven otherwise. The human was dressed like a normal fighter archetype, but the lizard looked most troublesome, handling a dark wood staff engraved in the shape of a dragon head.

The right group only had two, but they looked stronger. The one in front looked like a genetic engineer having a field day in creating an Olympic weight lifter. Tall and wide with the majority of his bulk in muscle. It would’ve been difficult to pass him as human even without the rough grey skin and the two tusk-like teeth peeking from his jaw. An orc. Damn, even his face looked like a brick. Behind him, was a lizard-like humanoid, similar to the one from the other group but there were some differences. This one had no horns, had dull green scales and was sparsely dressed, only a few belts and harnesses with pouches. An axe- no, a tomahawk of bone was holstered on their hip.

“We’re here for the raid quest?” Noam began, glancing towards the edge. My eyes followed his, towards a man dressed in a uniform similar to the desk receptionist at the guild.

“Four metres to the right of him,” my other self sent. My vision split to have Greenie’s in parallel, it was staring at a hooded figure. I briefly caught the sight of a bandolier of something, dolls? There was a bird on their shoulder covered in a black cloth, when it turned to face Greenie, I realised that it was just a skeleton.

“There is no need to fight,” the green lizard-like humanoid said to the orc, revealing sharp, needlepoint teeth. “There is nothing to be gained.”

The orc snorted, spitting loudly onto the floor.

“Ew. Also, eight metres to the left, that guy is drawing a weapon.”

“This one insulted your honour,” the orc rebutted, pointing to the other lizard.

“I see him,” I answered myself.

“Pfft. What did I do but speak but the truth? An uncivilised barbarian should go return to the jungle.”

“Huh? Did I hear that right?”

“You did.” Huh. I guess in the end this really was a fantasy world. I’ve read about racism in textbooks before, but I’ve never seen it in person before.

“And what would a damn lizard-like you know!” the orc snarled, before quickly flitting back to his lizard companion. “Not directed at you by the way.”

The green lizardman remained silent.

“Am I blind or do both of them look like the same race?” Noam loudly ‘whispered’ next to me.

I glanced at him. Oh no. “I know that look.”

“You must be blind then,” the red lizard replied, “A dragonborn like me could not possibly be mistaken as one of the savage lizardfolk.”

“I can’t see a difference,” Declan thought.

“At least I have the excuse of not having eyes,” I added.

“Really?” Noam ‘incredulously’ asked, “I really couldn’t tell, what’s so different about you lot?”

“Your education must be lacking to an egregious degree if you really think that.”

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Noam shrugged and his eyes flickered to me for the briefest moment.

Goddamnit. Well if he picked this hill to die on then I best make sure he digs someone else’s grave.

“You see! A dragonborn is born with…”

As he began rambling, my mouth opened by the barest fraction. A strange quirk we’ve discovered was that my mouth doesn’t actually need to move when I’m speaking.

“... and not to mention the achievements of the Platinum…”

Very quietly, I began whispering. My voice was low enough that only Greenie heard me, but that was enough.

“Repeat after me.”

Greenie did, and I began summarising what I’ve read from one of the bestiaries I’ve read.

“Dragonborn seems to be descended from dragons shapeshifting and fucking with humanoids. Their abilities vary but generally, they’re tougher than the average humanoid with innate magical abilities and elemental breath depending on their-”

Noam clicked his tongue. “That’s all a fine and long-winded explanation, but you really aren’t proving that superiority you’re talking about,” he said while facing the trio.

Not what he was looking for?

“This is a verbal battle,” Declan pointed out.

Then what can I get?

The gnome was uneasy, she kept checking her weapon. The human didn’t speak, but his pose was aggressive. Noam was in his element but still outnumbered.

The orc stepped forward, “Thank you for speaking in our defense, but I am not without fangs.” He snarled as he said that, baring some rather impressive tusks.

Two to three, still not enough. I couldn’t help notice that the lizard they were defending held a rather apathetic attitude to all of this.

The dragonborn began to speak up. I spoke first.

“There’s no point to this.”

Noam’s eyes flitted rapidly to me.

‘We should aim for de-escalation, not further antagonisation,’ I had Greenie communicate to him.

‘One more minute,’ he mouthed.

I mentally sighed. This idiot.

Verbally, I loudly said, “This lizard is all talk and no action, there is no point to arguing with someone who clearly can’t back up their claims.”

Noam turned to me, his back to the trio so that they couldn’t see his mischievous smile, “I suppose you’re right. No matter how much you teach a parrot to talk it’s still just a parrot.”

“Are you two daft! I’m clearly a dragon!”

Noam turned to the guild rep, “Anyways we just need to hand you these papers right?”

“Hey? Did you actually turn daft?”

“Indeed,” the rep serenely replied. “However due to the specific nature of the quest, we only accept completions with a ‘party’.”

“Groups of five or more?” I asked. “That could complicate matters.”

“Hellooo?!”

“We’re already here so it would be a bit late to call our own friends,” Noam carefreely said. He turned to the orc and lizardman, “What about you two?”

“We are…” the orc uncertainly began, before he made eye contact with Noam. A glint of realisation passed through them, and he cheerfully said, “Without a party as well!”

“Hey! I swear if you’re ignoring-”

“We’ll just need a fifth then,” I said over him.

“I said did you hear me!” the dragonborn moved forward, hand reaching for us.

“Torrin!” a female voice yelled. The dragonborn paused, glancing back at his gnome companion. She shrunk back slightly, but still firmly said, “Let’s drop it.”

“But-”

“Please.”

Torrin looked back at us, before letting out an indignant grunt, “You side with cannibals and savages.”

I made a clicking noise, and from Yellow’s perspective, I could see a brief spark of flame as Noam tsked. Quickly scanning around, I could see the room cooling down, the neutral parties remaining neutral. Discreetly, I stored the sporage I had prepared at the start of the encounter.

“Pick your battles better,” I muttered.

“I was about to light that fucker up,” Noam replied.

“So?” “But for what point?”

“He pissed me off,” Noam quietly answered.

I mentally sighed. If only I could be as carefree as him.

‘That road died for us a long time ago,’ my other commented. ‘I’ll be gone, call if you need me.’

‘Got it.’

“Thank you for your assistance,” the orc smiled. “You enraged him far better than I would have.”

Noam slapped the orc’s back. “No problem,” he cheerfully answered, “I have a natural talent for stuff like this.”

“Utoqa,” the orc glanced at his companion, “you thank him as well.”

“Thank you,” he simply replied.

“No problem,” Noam answered. “Uhmm… there’s no easy way to ask this,” he nervously ruffled the back of his head, “but you’re not actually what he said right? Cause that would be… awkward.”

“I have not eaten another lizardfolk in my life,” Utoqa answered. “Though I may be considered a savage.”

The orc snorted, “Savage my goat. Take no heed to such insults, they place that label to any race with mhurran fangs.”

The orc extended his hand, “I am Naukoth Stoneback.”

Noam clasped it, “Noam.”

“Dustin,” I answered when he glanced at me.

He nodded in approval as I spoke, “You have good teeth for a plant.”

“Umm… Thanks?”

“There is no problem. Noam, you spoke of partying, we are happy to join you.”

“Sweet.”

“What can the both of you do?” I asked. “I’m a mage, these are my familiars,” I gestured to Greenie and Yellow. “Noam’s a bard.”

Naukoth perked up, “A bard? I am one as well. Where is your instrument?”

“I just use my words man,” Noam cheekily replied.

The orc nodded contemplatively, “Hmm. That does seem much more convenient.”

“You have an instrument?” I asked. In all likelihood he did but it did not hurt to check.

Naukoth nodded, “I do, I left it outside. Come! I’ll show you.”

Why would he leave it outside? If instruments are basically what wands are to mages, to bards, then he should’ve carried it with him.

“Utoqa, introduce yourself as well, it is rude otherwise.”

The lizardman nodded, “I am Utoqa. I can fight.”

Well, that was informative.

“How?” I asked, “Are you melee or long range?”

“Melee,” he simply answered.

“Using your tomahawk?” Noam asked as we left the hut.

“Yes.”

The orc rounded around the hut. Must’ve left it behind there.

As we followed Naukoth, his ‘instrument’ came into view.

“This is it!” the orc proudly presented.

What?

Noam rubbed his eyes. “Are you serious?”

I did a quick double-take. Yep, still the same thing.

“He plays a grand piano?” Greenie excitedly asked.