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Chapter 99: Conflict II

“I don’t even know what to do with you.”

“…What?”

“You’re so stupidly self-righteous, but you’re also honest and admit fault. I could destroy you and all the principles you think you stand for, but I don’t want to. Why is that?” Levi sighed, pinching his nose bridge. “I mean, why do I even bother with you? You’ve already shown how defenseless you are against unethical people - people you know would bleed you for all you’re worth and more just to make a point - with how easily you admit fault. Associating with you would be a weakness.”

Levi prowled towards Aida, his hard, bronze eyes fixed on Aida’s own watery ocean blue eyes. Everything he said was technically correct - she was too naive. She understood, intellectually, that she should never admit she was wrong; that would open the door for cutthroat adversaries to take advantage of her, break her spirit…just like how Teena Vega very nearly overwhelmed Aida in the courtyard on New Sun Day, if it weren’t for her classmates standing up for her.

As much as Annie hated the notion of needing to be dishonest just to protect herself from getting steamrolled, like Teena Vega did to her, like Levi was doing to her now, she hated even more how guilty she felt for being so susceptible to bad-faith players.

“…yet, the fact that you’re so innocent and naive makes me want to protect you from reality, so that you can keep being yourself, no matter how stupid you are.” He was standing in front of her now, his eyes boring into her own. “Are you just playing some game I’ve never seen before? You said my world was a game to you - is that what you’re doing? You’re playing on some higher level I don’t understand?”

“N-No,” Aida stuttered. She felt the tears balancing precariously on the corner of her eyes; the accusatory tone and glare made her feel like she was being scolded, even though some part of her felt like she should be flattered that Levi was claiming she was some sort of political mastermind. “I didn’t come here with any intentions to manipulate you - I know I can’t outmaneuver you, and I don’t want to.”

“So why did you come here then? I think I made it pretty clear that I was going to stay out of your and Ezra’s relationship. What more do you want?” Levi’s voice was icy, cutting through the remnants of Aida’s confidence.

“I…” Aida faltered. When she first stepped into the glade, she had imagined that they would have a calm conversation about how Levi felt, maybe chastise him for being so secretive with his feelings if it went in that direction…but ultimately, that they would become friends again, recovering easily much like how they did after the Old Moon Festival. In retrospect, Aida cringed at how simple-minded and idealistic her expectations were.

“…I guess my motivations ultimately were selfish.” Aida was looking down at her toes now, wriggling in her sandals.

“What are your motivations?” Levi’s voice was oddly gentle and calm; almost more terrifying than if he had been shouting at her.

“…I missed our friendship. Our interactions.” Aida took deep breaths, trying to convince her tears to withdraw.

Levi was silent for a moment before he finally exhaled.

“I see. So you want your plant to grow, without sowing your seeds.”

“What?”

“You want to be able to have a happy, unproblematic relationship with the guy you like, and also keep me around, as your friend.” The way Levi framed her desires made Aida feel selfish and dirty, and his eyes were, shockingly, full of pity.

“…so, you really do like me?”

Levi swore, spinning on his heel and striding away from her. “You still think I don’t?” he spat.

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Aida felt her knees shake, and she let herself collapse onto the log behind her. She lifted her shaking hands, burying her face in them.

This was too much to handle. She didn’t know what to do. She already was with Ezra, and having that one choice had already been its own ordeal, fraught with indecision and fears about what would happen to them in the future. But now that Levi actually admitted it, she had no idea what she was supposed to do with this second option - and she was disgusted with herself for thinking of these two boys as options, as if they were coupons for different meals instead of real people with their own desires and thoughts.

The awful thing about having confirmation from Levi was that she really didn’t know who she would have chosen if she wasn’t already in a relationship with Ezra. On the one hand, with Levi already knowing about Aida’s background - both as a Loreh family member and as a foreign character - she would have been in a more secure, much more relaxed position, because there would have been no secrets between the two of them; and there also promised to be less drama between the families.

She was about to ask him why he didn’t say anything earlier, before clamping her teeth shut. He already tried. During Old Moon Festival. And his casual touches, warm looks, all held a second meaning now. I didn’t believe him, because he had that playboy image. Anger flared up again, that same anger Aida thought she had thoroughly extinguished under the remorse of misunderstanding Levi’s intentions from Old Moon Festival - except now she knew it wasn’t a misunderstanding. It had all been theater.

“Look, I can tell you’re struggling with what to do.” Levi’s voice was hard, merciless. “So I’ll give you one last chance. Walk away right now, and I’ll continue treating you and Ezra the same way I did today. I won’t cause any issues. Go, before I change my mind.”

“What else will you do?” Aida’s voice was muffled. “If I don’t walk away, what are you going to do?”

“What?” Levi asked in disbelief. “Why would you stay?”

“I know it’s selfish of me to ask, and makes no sense,” Aida started, pulling her hands away from her eyes and glaring at him, forcing him to let her speak. “But unfortunately, even though you’re a manipulative bastard that I would normally never think to include in my friend circle, for some reason I trust you. You’ve known my secret for so long, and you’ve done nothing to use it against me. You help cover for me, even though there’s no real reason to.”

Levi rolled his eyes, unimpressed. Aida raised her voice as she continued speaking, determined to get her piece out.

“Maybe because you’re such an unrepentant asshole, I feel comfortable putting my walls down with you. I don’t care that I show you the bad sides of me. You let me be myself around you, not Aida Loreh…as much as I’m angry at you for playing me like you would a political adversary, instead of treating me like a friend, I still want you to be in my life.”

Levi looked at her in exasperation, then shook his head solemnly. “You really are selfish, aren’t you?”

“Am I more selfish than you?” Aida countered, her voice wavering. “You could have told me straight to my face seriously, without joking, that you liked me. Instead of playing both sides - pretending like you’re only casually flirting with me, and if I didn’t give an indication that I liked you, you could pretend it was all a joke. You never risked anything.”

Levi’s face froze, and his lips slowly clamped shut. He shook his head slowly, denying it. “You really—“

Aida leaped up from the log, stalking towards him, driven forward by anger that was finally welling up from identifying the double standard Levi was imposing on her.

“You’re mad at me for acknowledging and acting on my feelings for Ezra, when he’s the one who put in the effort to make sure I understood how he really felt? He deliberately made himself vulnerable when he told me he liked me.” Aida felt her voice gain strength, and tears came back to her eyes. She swiped them away with her wrist and stabbed a finger into Levi’s chest. “You’re mad at me for not reading your mind to know you’re serious, for not ignoring your history of playing with everyone else’s hearts. Well, I think you should be mad at yourself!”

Levi’s face had closed up, and he was staring at her in fury. He opened his mouth—

Only to freeze, one hand held up in caution.

“What?” Aida demanded loudly. She didn’t like how he just looked past her, completely ignoring the very good point she had made.

“Be quiet,” Levi said softly. His eyes had unfocused. “Come on.”

Grabbing her by the wrist, he pulled her from the grove, making sure wild growth thoroughly obscured any evidence of the path they left behind.

As Aida probed about tentatively with her senses, she discovered what had set Levi on edge. A murky gray aura was bobbing along, slowly but steadily approaching them. Please, no…

“Just follow my lead,” Levi said lowly, not slowing his pace, though he did release her wrist. “If we’re lucky, we’ll get out of this with minimal pain.”