As Aida described Lara’s belief that she was going to eventually marry him, Ezra grew more and more grim.

“It’s not a big deal, I just thought you should know that she has these thoughts in her mind,” Aida said reassuringly.

“I am less concerned about her actual belief, and more concerned about the conception of that belief.” Ezra sighed, running his hands through his hair. Aida furrowed her brow.

“What do you mean?”

He glanced at her, a flush rising back up his face. “…you mentioned your parents were going to arrange a marriage for you.”

Aida nodded, discomfort rearing its ugly head.

“…in light of the Flau clan’s impending power struggle, I could see the Lorr family attempting to secure social connections to better consolidate their power.” Aida caught a tic in Ezra’s jaw. “And one such convenient way to secure a strong social connection is to arrange marriages between two families that might mutually benefit from being intertwined.”

Aida felt the blood drain from her face as Ezra concluded his hypothesis so dispassionately.

Ezra might be forced into an arranged marriage, too? She acknowledged it was possible, though she had never considered that possibility before. She always thought rich people had the luxury of marrying for love; after all, they didn’t have to worry if their partner couldn’t contribute to putting food on the table every night. It seemed willfully barbaric that they would regress to treating marriage as a purely transactional partnership.

But in light of political maneuvering…she could see it. Greed…is so strong…

“So,” Aida said weakly. “…what are you going to do?”

Ezra took a shuddering breath, and Aida was aware of his mana churning around them. Her hair fluttered around her, wrapping around her face. “Ezra!”

Ezra’s eyes were shadowed, and his hands were clenched into tight fists next to him. She reached for him, not knowing what she could do to help calm him down, but not knowing what else she could do.

There was a barrier around him - not a physical barrier, but a pocket of air that refused to give no matter how she pushed. Collecting her mana within her, Aida pressed forward, to no avail. Even her Mana Surge was ineffective. Is this how powerful Ezra really is?

“Ezra!” Aida screamed, hoping that he could hear her underneath all the pressure that surrounded him. When he didn’t respond, she gritted her teeth, pulling her wand out. “Ezra, please!”

He still couldn’t hear her. Gasping for breath - because the mana Ezra had lost control of was pressing so hard on her - Aida aimed her wand at him. Briefly praying that she wouldn’t be hurt too badly by whatever happened next, she sent a needle of mana through his bubble.

Her mana control had improved significantly. She was able to guide her sliver of mana through the weak currents in Ezra’s mana shield, finally reaching his person. With one last, shuddering breath, she jammed the needle into his hand.

Aida toppled forward, her face planting firmly into the grass. The pressure she had been pushing against had disappeared, and her mana-enhanced push had sent her rocketing forward into the ground.

“Aida!” She heard Ezra’s footsteps thump towards her. He hauled her roughly up from the grass. “I’m so sorry - are you all right?”

“Ow,” Aida said thickly, reaching for her nose. Heal. She sighed in relief. “I’m fine. Are you okay?”

“I’m so sorry,” Ezra repeated, horrified. He crushed her against his chest, almost breaking her nose again. “I should have maintained control…”

“I’m fine!” Aida pushed herself away from him, poking at her nose cheerily. “It was only soft tissue damage, nothing major!”

Ezra looked unconvinced, guilt written all over his face. Sighing in exasperation, Aida reached up, clamping his face between her hands. “I told you, I’m okay! Look at you, though - you’re definitely not fine. What’s running through that pretty head of yours?”

The guilt transformed into mortification. “P-pretty?”

Aida pinched her lips together to hold in her laughter. Underneath his cool exterior, he really was so innocent. “I think I can guess what’s running through your charming mind right now.” She squished his cheeks together, pinching his eyes shut. She released him, leaving him with a frazzled expression.

“But really, what happened?” Aida asked gently. “You can tell me.”

Ezra hesitated, biting his lip. “You’re not…afraid of me?”

“Why would I be afraid?” Aida asked blankly.

“Because…I almost hurt you.”

“Occupational hazard of being a student at Maglica Academy,” Aida reassured him. “I’m not going to take it personally.” When she saw that Ezra still wasn’t convinced, she took his hand in her own. “Look, I don’t know what exactly went through your mind that caused you to lose control of your mana - and you don’t have to tell me, but just know that I get it. You were clearly upset, and—“ Aida hesitated “—I’ve felt that before. Rage so potent that you can’t think clearly, and that makes you lose track of where you are.” Except I’ve felt that in a world where magic isn’t real, so I wasn’t an explosive risk.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

Aida’s voice softened. “Just know that I’ll be here for you. If you want to talk. I don’t know that I can help you with your problems, but I’ll be here to listen.”

Ezra squeezed her hand. “Thank you,” he mumbled. “I need to think, but…thank you.”

“Not a problem.” Aida smiled brightly. “Do you want to head back inside?”

Ezra nodded, deep in his own thoughts. Taking him gently by the elbow, Aida guided him back towards the school in silence.

“So,” Aida said as she started detecting flickers of mana in the school building. “Do you still…want to proceed with our - um…” she faltered, unsure how to refer to their relationship. It was so weird to think of Ezra as a boyfriend, let alone her boyfriend.

Ezra hesitated, coloring. He clearly had the same reservation as his eyes flitted from hers. “…I think we should…delay our commitment.”

Ezra’s words thudded into the pit of her stomach, dragging her breath down with her. “Oh.”

“It’s - I’m sorry, it won’t be for long,” Ezra said quickly. “I just need to clear some things on my family’s side…”

“Yes. Of course.” Aida was unnaturally aware of her own shallow breath. Even though her stomach was thoroughly grounded, she felt like she was having difficulty finding her balance - like she had just gotten off of a county fair roller coaster. “So…we won’t say anything then. Nothing has changed.”

Ezra grabbed her arm, stalling her. “Not nothing. We know that we care for each other.”

“Right!” Aida nodded vigorously, forcing a smile on her face. “We do.”

“It won’t take long,” Ezra said quickly. “Just - just give me two - no, one star cycle.”

“Take all the time you need,” Aida said, her assurance feeling empty even to herself. She hitched the smile back on her face. Ezra was already so worried about his family’s opinions - she wouldn’t be helping him by pressuring him to commit to her now. After all, she trusted him to keep his word. “Anyway…I’ll head back first then.”

Slipping her arm out of Ezra’s grasp, she waved at him before turning towards the school, studiously keeping her expression from collapsing.

Aida made it all the way to the third-year girls’ hallway before she was stopped by the sight of Sue, Lily, and Vanita all lounging in the common area. Vanita was sitting primly on a couch, her hands in her lap as Lily and Sue had an animated discussion about the Affiliates, continuing their negotiations from the picnic. Conversation ceased as they all saw Aida coming up the stairs.

“Aida! How did it go?” Lily asked, beaming as she scampered over. She hauled Aida over to the couch next to Vanita, the three girls converging around her. “Anything you’d like to share?”

“Not really,” Aida replied blandly. Her empty smile was still on her face. Nothing changed. “Nothing happened.”

“Really?” Sue asked keenly. “It didn’t seem like nothing would happen. Did you see the way Ezra was looking at her during the picnic?” Sue looked from Lily to Vanita conspiratorially, and they all giggled in unison.

The tacit agreement between the three girls broke something in Aida. The excitement in the girls’ faces turned to horror as they all scrambled to help.

Aida felt herself being pulled off the couch by Sue’s warm, comforting hand, and Lily’s short arms circled her waist as she cooed soothing nonsense at her. Vanita’s arms reached around Aida’s shoulders, providing a motherly embrace as the three of them guided Aida towards her room.

Aida continued bawling as the girls led her gently to her bed, setting her down before they started hunting for handkerchiefs to staunch her tears.

“There there, let it out, that’s a good girl,” Vanita murmured, pressing her own handkerchief to Aida’s nose. “Blow.”

Aida followed Vanita’s directions, feeling like a complete child as Vanita wiped her face.

“What did Ezra do?” Sue demanded angrily. “Do I need to blow him up?”

“Calm down, he wouldn’t hurt her on purpose!” Lily hissed as Aida wept louder. “Tell us what happened, Aida! Before Sue does something drastic!”

“Lily!” Vanita scolded, her voice uncharacteristically authoritative. “Sue, you two stop it. Aida doesn’t need this right now.”

Aida continued sobbing as the other two girls settled around her, Lily on the bed next to her and Sue on the ground in front of her. She was wrapped by arms all around, and she felt Sue rest her head on her lap, much like a dog would.

She didn’t understand why she couldn’t stop crying. She and Ezra had admitted their feelings for each other; Ezra was also honest that there might be some political mischief that could interfere with their relationship. It was completely reasonable that he wanted to sort out those problems before they actually started dating, right? After all, he was the one who broached the subject. It wasn’t like he was trying to get out of an awkward confession from someone he had no interest in. He initiated everything. He even gave her a timeline and everything.

But it still felt like she had lost something. She should be happy, because she and Ezra were on the same page. If they really liked each other, then the delay in actually starting their relationship shouldn’t matter. It wasn’t like he rejected her.

Is it because I really am a side character? Aida felt her friends’ hands tighten on her as her sobs renewed in strength, choking on her own gasping breaths as her lungs tried to keep pace with her misery.

That made the most sense. Ezra was slated for Sue, if she didn’t choose anyone else. And before Sue made a decision, all the bachelors had to remain available, otherwise the game would end.

Why else would their relationship be so cruelly curtailed before it could even start? The world was clearly doing its best to restore the plot; it would do the story no good if one of the bachelors was paired off with a side character.

Aida was too tired of fighting. She’d been fighting her whole first life, even before she realized she couldn’t balance a relationship and her family obligations. She’d been fighting since she first arrived in this world to improve her base abilities, to get to where she was in Class 2. She didn’t want to have to fight for love as well. Love shouldn’t be this hard.

If she spent all her energy fighting for a relationship that already had everything in the world against it…she’d be wasting her efforts. And there was no guarantee that she would actually achieve anything. This was too risky to commit herself to, especially considering Ezra’s status. The Riolts would be certain to disapprove of her if they really were as utilitarian as Ezra made them out to be. And they certainly had the power to substantially interfere in their relationship.

No, she was better off following her original plan: build herself a stable career, so that she wouldn’t be at the mercy of anyone else’s puissance. That way, she wouldn’t be dead weight for Ezra; as of now, she had no good reputation to support Ezra’s opposition against his family. She would only cause trouble for Ezra now.

Finally knowing what she had to do, Aida calmed down, her sobs quieting, her breathing leveling out, her shaking hands steadying. Leaning against her friends’ warm embraces, she reaffirmed her mission.

I don’t have the luxury to love.