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Chapter 1: Life is Okay

Annie’s earbuds pinged, letting her know she received an email on her smartphone. Blearily wiping her eyes, she dug in her pocket to pull out her phone, glancing at the flashing LED lights on the train map to make sure she hadn’t missed her stop. Focusing back on her hand, she unlocked her phone and swiped open the email notification.

The Stream Summer Sale has begun!

Based on the games in your library, we think you would enjoy this game.

“Free, huh?” Annie murmured, tapping the link to open the game’s store page. It was a new release, from an indie developer she had recently started following. They hadn’t gained much of a following yet, so she had been picking up their (small) catalog of games at prices as low as a dollar whenever they decided to put their games on sale. The games weren’t perfect, but Annie enjoyed them. She could tell the developers put a lot of love and heart into their games.

The new game was just like the other releases from the studio: a visual novel dating simulation game. Annie wouldn’t say visual novels (or dating sims, for that matter) were her favorite genre of video games, but she liked to say that visual novels were all she could afford when it came to experiencing life. “For the price of five dollars, I can have relationships with five different attractive guys, all on my own schedule, guilt-free!” Annie joked to her friends. Honestly though, the biggest reason was that her laptop was a hulk of an artifact, and she wasn’t confident it could handle games more intense than visual novels.

It wasn’t that Annie didn’t want to be in a relationship. She was twenty-three years old, and anxiety about the lack of progress on the social side of her life was starting to kick into high gear. She just didn’t think she had the luxury to go on dates to meet anybody. Her parents were getting old, and their family just wasn’t in a place where she could focus on her own wants.

Annie worked two jobs to help support her parents: Her daytime job was an almost-full time job as a receptionist at an optometrist’s office, and she worked nights at a twenty-four hour gym. She had a two-year Associate’s degree from the local community college, nominally so that she could transfer to the local four-year university, but when she compared the immediate debts she’d take on to her projected earning potential if she were to complete her education, she concluded the reward did not outweigh the risks.

She wasn’t bitter at her parents for having to give up her life. Her parents were hard workers themselves, so it wasn’t like she was the only one sacrificing her time to help make ends meet. It was just that the cost of living was so high in the major city they lived in, steadily increasing every year while wages slowly fell behind, and they didn’t have the seed money to uproot their lives to move to a cheaper area. They were effectively trapped.

Annie’s father had been injured during a construction job while she was in middle school, so was limited in the kind of work he had been able to take on. Right now, he worked the night shift as a front desk security for some luxury apartment building - fortunately, the front desk wasn’t a role that required him to patrol. All he had to do was help buzz in drunk yuppies when they inevitably failed to scan their key fobs, after the actual security guard outside confirmed their names and unit numbers. Annie and her mother weren't sure why they needed two people to open the door for one person (and more often than not their entourage), but they weren’t going to complain about the need for such a relatively cushy job. Annie’s father assured them his job was secure: the doorman wasn’t allowed to touch residents’ belongings as a matter of liability, so they couldn’t assist residents with scanning the building’s keyfob. The doorman also wasn’t allowed his own keyfob in case some thugs or hooligans jumped him and stole the keyfob off of him. Annie had mixed feelings about what the building’s safety policy implied about the safety of her father’s work neighborhood, but she had to concede that at least her father was able to be on the safe side of any altercations.

Annie’s mother worked evening shifts as a cleaning lady/snack stockist at a major tech company, and would pick up some daytime childcare duties for neighbors as the need arose. Her mother was enthusiastic about her job, because that meant that she could bring home some expensive snacks for the family to try, and they didn’t have to worry about buying cleaning supplies for their home. Her mother would also sneak some hard boiled eggs and leftover milk or fruits. “I don’t understand why they insist on replacing the milk so often, but we’re the ones benefiting,” she would declare cheerfully.

The train slowed down, the conductor announcing the arrival of Annie’s stop. Stretching, Annie yawned as she exited the train. Almost home. It was late Friday night (or more accurately, early Saturday morning), and she only had to work Saturday night. She could fire up the new visual novel game for a couple hours before she went to bed. Annie smiled as she thought about the screenshots and blurbs she had scrolled through. The studio had definitely increased their budget for this game’s art. The boys looked like they were designed and rendered by a reputable anime studio, with no weird body proportions, and the game also promised RPG leveling elements in addition to the typical visual novel decision-making playstyle. The developers admitted it was a big endeavor for them to try to combine a dating simulation with fighting mechanics, but they hoped they could do their inspiration Starview Valley justice. If this game lives up to expectations, they’ll definitely hit it big.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

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Annie really only got to play the game for half an hour before she fell asleep. She spent over an hour customizing her character. Other than appearance, she also had to distribute stat points for her character, and also decide on what her elemental affinity was. Annie was impressed by all the customization options. Off to a strong start.

In the end, while Annie took a bathroom break with the resolve to get further than just meeting her in-game best friend (Aida, a pretty black-haired girl with a sweet expression and came across as a dandere), she was distracted by a text message from her father.

Good night Anastasia. C u in the morning.

Gn daddy, see you soon

Go 2 sleep. Don't stay up so late if u don't have to

Ok, going to bed now

Annie tapped in a heart and closed her laptop, releasing the yawn that was bubbling at the back of her throat. Her brain was slowing down, so she wouldn’t be able to enjoy the game anyway.

Lying on top of her thin bedsheet, Annie plugged in her phone and started scrolling through the game developer’s blog post announcing their newest release. She liked the look of Levi the most, she decided. He had long, dark green hair pulled back in a low ponytail, with sharp bronze eyes and an impish smirk in his character splash art. The post described him as an ambitious bachelor with a powerful wood affinity, who "is just as willing to fight for his love as for furthering his family’s reputation…if only he could meet her." Annie nodded to herself. First route material for sure.

The second bachelor that caught her eye was Ezra: the best metal-affinity student the Academy had the privilege of teaching in decades, he had silver hair and eyes, and an aloof expression. He exuded the aura of a cool and collected man, one who was indifferent to whispers of awe or the slavering platitudes of those attempting to cozy up to him. He apparently was the “old money” of the eligible men - but precisely because of his family background, he "is reserved with others, since he doesn’t trust that people would like him for him. Who will be the one to open up his heart?"

The third and final bachelor was Caleb. He had dark brown hair, violet eyes, and a sweet, unassuming disposition. Caleb is the “poor” one of the cast, but is an unparalleled earth-affinity genius with a great work ethic. However, he "doesn’t seem to have time to notice that there’s more to life than just working. Will any girl be able to catch his attention, and show him the beauty in life?" Annie winced. Too close to home. Definitely going to court him last…I play for escapism, not reskinned reality.

Turning her phone’s screen off, Annie rolled over to face the wall. She and her family had come a long way from when her father first got injured. Once Annie quit school and started working two jobs, the financial strain had lightened considerably, and now they no longer lived collective paycheck to collective paycheck.

Her decision to end her college career resulted in many arguments that ended in tears on all sides. Her parents insisted that everything would be fine, and that what was most important was Annie getting the qualifications that would catapult her into the white collar elite. They didn’t move to America just so Annie would have to work the same jobs she might have back in their home country. Annie fought back, pointing to the income and cost of living reports that laid out exactly which few options she had if she wanted to pay off her and their family’s loans in a reasonable time frame. “I DON’T EVEN LIKE MATH,” she bellowed.

Ultimately, her parents accepted her decision because they weren’t able to argue against the facts. “I just wish you didn’t have to grow up so fast,” her mother whispered tearfully, clinging to Annie’s shoulders. “I failed as a mother.”

“If I was a better provider, you wouldn’t have even had to make this choice,” her father quavered, squeezing Annie and her mother in his arms. Annie remembered hearing his heart hammering and jerking with silent sobs as she was crushed against his chest. She couldn’t speak through her gasping breaths then, but she remembered promising herself that even if she deviated from the formulaic path decided for her by her high school counselors and teachers, and deviated from the route all her friends (who were already midway through their four-year programs with the expectation that they would simply pick up a job that suited their degrees or interests upon graduation like they would pick up their afternoon coffees) were dutifully following, she would make smart decisions and claw her way to the life her parents hoped for her.

Despite Annie’s insistence that she hated math, she found a certain calm that came from knowing numbers could clearly characterize a situation. She handled the family budget, taking comfort in watching their numbers inch up, and understanding the higher the number, the more security they had. They still didn’t have a lot of savings, but they had enough that the family was able to relax a little, to go out for a family meal once a month when their schedules all lined up.

Annie smiled bitterly into her pillow, curling into her thin blanket. She wasn’t cold, and the air was stale. Her narrow bedroom window was open, but it didn’t help to alleviate the muggy summer air. Her blanket—a ratty piece of fabric with faded pink flowers that’d been on her bed for as long as she could remember—was just like her dreams: something she wished was substantial enough to wrap her in a safe cocoon as she floated towards the future, but ultimately was just something that would unravel at the edges the older she got.

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