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Monkey's Tail
Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Oscar POV:

Monk, he told me that calling him monkey was insulting to monkeys, weird guy, told me to get Gung, which is apparently short for Gungnir.

Spear of Odin.

King of the Aesir…

My life is annoyingly interesting.

Right now we are walking through the forest and Monk is looking really scared.

Didn’t run into any more bears, or bear eating plants.  So that’s nice.

“OUOOOOOHHHHRRrrr!” Wolf

‘What do the young people call it these days?  Jinxing it?  That or just having terrible fucking luck.’

Monk looks to the east, where I assume the wolves are, and starts growling.  His tail starts swishing violently.  He then looks up a tree and starts climbing.  He looks at me when he is halfway up and huffs.

“You gonna fly up or is my ass that mesmerizing?” Monk

I quirk an eyebrow, I’ve already learned it’s best to tune out his attempts at annoying me.

“Ah, yes, let me get right on that.  Flying with ethereal wings that have no air resistance is so easy after all.” Oscar

“You have a spear that both thinks and is telepathic.  You have seen a bear get eaten by a set of brambles, that shouldn’t be able to even move, and then be buried by said brambles.  You have a pair of wings that break every law of physics you know of, and are also talking to a monkey.” Monkey

‘Wow… I didn’t think about that.  Physics kinda got bitchslapped multiple times in the same day.  I kinda feel bad for it.’

He then turns away and gets back to climbing.

“Just think of floating, your wings are mostly just conduits for your mind after all.  Though go ahead and try to flap them, sure it’ll work out eventually.” Monk

‘Oh yeah, cause that’s helpful.  Now how do I do this.  He said think of floating, so let's try that.  Like a leaf on the wind, a leaf on the--OOF!’

It turns out that my wings turned into wind.  The gale force of the wind sent me flying forward into the tree.

I really need to get a handle on my new capabilities.

“Oh look, my new owner is a tree hugger, lucky me.  Also, I said float, not wind.  Two totally different things.  By the way, nice going on unlocking another pair of wings, saying you're a natural at it is an understatement.  The only problem is that you have no F-ing clue how it works.  Great.” Monk

I glare at him.

“Fuck you.” Oscar

“Firstly, don’t swing that way, secondly, just start floating or climbing, don’t care which.  Those were direwolves, which means we don’t have a long time before they catch up to us.  Thankfully, these trees are tall and direwolves can’t climb for shit.” Monk

He wasn’t lying, the trees are big and, more importantly, their branches are wide and thick.

“Giggidy.” Monk

“What?” Oscar

“Oh, nothing, just felt an opportunity, and I never waste opportunities, now move!” Monk

I’ve never climbed a tree before, and I’m not exactly the picture of a manly male.  I mean, I look like Tinker Bell for fucks sake!  So floating seems to be my only way out, or up to be exact.

‘Okay, no wind this time, just floating.  Float like some kind of wizard, cause I’m pretty sure I am a wizard.’

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And just like that, I started floating.  It was uncomfortable, mostly because I landed on my head after rising off of the ground.  The monkey was snickering again, but I tuned it out.  Everything he does is an attempt at annoying me.  

‘Well, I can’t control my flight enough to get up the tree, but if I grip it and try flying… yeah, that’ll work.’

I then started floating upwards while using the tree to keep myself upright.  It was kinda like walking up a flight of stairs while being pulled with a rope, easy but you just need to keep a hold of the railing, or in my case, the tree.

I think I was faster than the monkey, but it didn’t matter because he was already on the branch.  I got to the same branch he was on, a small bit of my pride having returned.

It had been shattered and mercilessly beaten today, but I still had a small sliver that I would protect with my life.  After I take a sitting position near the monkey, he smirks at me.

“Wanna know something funny?” Monk

“No, I want you to finally explain to me what the fuck I am, who the hell Solomon is, and why the fuck I’m here, also why did that spear turn into a tattoo on my arm?  Kinda piling up the questions and not offering a single answer.” Oscar

Yeah, Gungnir turned into a black tattoo on my arm.  It’s in a black tribal like design, and honestly pretty awesome.  It doesn’t look that cool seeing how my arm is thinner than a toothpick, but still, pretty awesome.  How would I even look if I were buff anyways?  I mean, the wings make me look effeminate, so will being muscular just make me look weird?  Oh well.  Still got the feeling that I’m going to need to train my body at this rate.

“You sure?  Oh well, you can find out after our teaching session.  Now, have you ever heard of Solomon and the 72 pillars?  Well, they were all real, except not demons.  It was actually based on a far older myth that faded from memory, how that tale showed up in the seventeenth century, I will never know.  Now, the 72 pillars were actually 72 items.  They were all different, some swords, others spears, you get the idea.  Solomon made these from magic that has long since been outlawed in our world.  To perform the magic, one requires a very special ingredient, a creature of mana.  Solomon used everything, Djinn, Oni, Asura, even Fae!  Some of these items have slipped through the cracks and weren’t destroyed, like the Djinni’s lamp, however the very existence of these items led to everyone hunting Solomon down, killing him, and destroying all the research.  We then destroyed all of the items containing the spirits and the Tuatha De Danann and other races of similar stature made it their duty to prevent such an incident from ever happening again.  However, it looks like after the Tuatha De Danann died out on your world, along with the magic, the races of this world got stupid ideas about using this fucked up form of enchanting magic.  Also, you are the last of the Tuatha De Danann, king of the Fae, son of Morrigan, mother of Banshees, and Myrdin, last true druid and greatest wizard to have ever lived.  You are currently on the world gifted to the Tuatha De Danann by the Primordial One for guiding the irish through the ages, Otherworld; and before you say anything about it being a crap name, your people named it, so don’t blame me for it being shitty.  Finally, Gung is dormant, IE the tattoo on your arm, he’s a soul weapon and needs to siphon off your excess mana, which there is a lot of.  Seriously though, you have a fuck ton, must be because of your ancestry.  I didn’t meet many Tuatha De Danann, but they apparently had some crazy mana pools, and then there’s your father…  anyways, back to that really interesting thing!  Look down.” Monk

‘Okay seriously, what is he taaaaaaaaaaaaaa….’

My eyes were bulging and I was sweating like crazy.  What I saw, in order, were my rib cage, my stomach, my hips, my thighs, and so on.  Now, as you may have noticed, I am missing, one, excessively important piece of my body.  The baseline of a man's pride…

My junk is missing.

I start crying.

Remember what I said about dying to protect that pride of mine?  

Yeah…

It’s gone.