John/Oscar POV:

“Run!  Run little Fae boy!  Run!  Your life depends on it!  Hoohoohahahahahaa!” Bastard Monkey

I had been running away from the bear for the last few minutes, and it was surprisingly easy.  The wings didn’t seem to actually be there, strangely enough, and literally passed through solid matter.

I found that out when the bear tried to eat one.

Seriously, how the fuck did I get in this situation?!

And why do I find this really, really fun?!

Did my brain get fucked up when I came here?!

I stop running just before I run into a huge wall of brambles, all of them glowing purple.

Before I can start running again, all my instincts yell at me to duck, so I do.  

I am very glad I ducked.

Above me flies a gigantic wall of brown fur, straight into the brambles.

“HUWAAAARGH!!” Bear

It tried to move to get out, it’s filled with fear, the only problem was, the brambles all snapped around it like trap that had only barely refrained from springing.  The bear screamed in absolute terror before the plant started slowly burying itself into the ground.  

“Holy shit…” John/Oscar

‘Just where the fuck am I?  First it’s the wings, next it’s that weirdass bear, now it’s these weirdass plants that eat bears!  BEARS!!’

“Woooh~!  Never seen a plant do that before!” Bastard!

I turn to look at the asshole monkey that did nothing but mock me while I was busy being hunted by a bear.  He even made fun of me.

I grip my fist tighter and tighter as my rage at him only continues to grow in quality and quantity.

I feel a warmth growing from my back, but disregard it.  It wouldn’t be the first time today that my wings did something weird.

The monkey just grins, crosses his arms, and speaks in a mocking tone.

“Is that a spear in your pocket?  Or are you just happy to see me?” Monkey

‘He’s trying to get me to look my junk so he can run?  Because I know for a fact that I don’t have a boner.  No one gets a boner from being hunted by a bear, no one.’

An old voice, one that rumbles like distant thunder, is the only thing that answers the monkey besides my seething rage.

“Please Monk, enough with the jokes.  Why didn’t you tell me that he awoke, or that he was in life threatening danger?  Are you trying to kill the last of the tuatha de danann?  Let alone their king?  Kinda asking for trouble from the fae of this world.” Crow

I looked to the direction the voice came from, it was a crow, larger than even eagles.  It’s plumage was black as pitch, it’s eyes golden.

It’s beak didn’t even move when it spoke, this only elicited questions from me, leading me to forget my anger entirely.  This wasn’t the first time something like this happened, put something interesting before me and I forget all my anger.

“So, talking monkey, talking crow, what's next?  A talking spear that shoots lightning?!” Oscar, why not?

The monkey finds this simply hilarious, making me remember my rage.  The warm, tingling sensation in my back returns.

“Holy… Been a long time since I last saw those wings.” Crow

‘What does he mean by that?’

I catch a wisp of flame in my peripheral vision.  I turn to see it’s source, but there’s nothing; well except for one of a lot more wisps.  I keep turning and turning and turning, the same wisps the constant result. Eventually I just fall flat on my ass, the monkey seems to be dying of laughter at this point.  Even the crow has an amused glint in his eyes.

Not that I can really blame them, I probably looked like a dog chasing it’s own tail.

‘Wait a minute, wings, flames--  holy shit MY BACK IS ON FIRE!!’

I had slowly turned my head around, thinking that maybe my wings had something to do with it.  I was right.  

They looked like a fireworks display.  Green flames decorated the edge, red in the center, and blue followed the same patterns that were less ethereal than the rest of my wings.

I did what any sane man would do when they realised they were on fire.

I stopped, dropped, and rolled.

...

It proved ineffective.

So I went with strategy number two!

Run screaming and hope the fire department comes to save you.

“AHHHHH!!” Oscar

‘Wait!  What if there isn’t a fire department in this world?!  FUCK!!  THAT HURTS!!’

I ran into a tree, plan two also proved ineffective.  Moving on to plan three--

“Hooohooheee~ stop. heehee~ Stop!  You're making me die of laughter!  HAAHAAHAAA!” Monkey

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

“Haaa~, Oscar, just calm down, the flames are being activated by your emotional state.  Also, if you pay attention, they don’t harm you in the least.” Crow

I stop for a moment, and realize he was right.  There was flame all over my back, but no burn marks were present, none at all.

‘Okay, so calm down, calm down and think of a cool stream… a cool streaa-why does my back feel wet?  Oh no, don’t tell me.’

I look turn my head with a mortified expression just to see that now my wings looks like a rushing torrent of water.

“Ohhohoh!  He is definitely going to be an interesting one!  It took little Morry years to unlock her second set of wings.  Really, good on you.  You have absolutely no understanding on how to use them, but good on you.” Monkey

I don’t really know what to think about this monkey, first he sends me to an alternate reality, then he watches as I’m nearly mauled to death, then he makes fun of me while I may have been on fire.

‘Wait a minute… I’m in another world… oh fuck…’

Realization hits me like a train.  I’m in another world.  If my family was fucked before, it’s definitely fucked now.

Or are they?  I know dad still liked me, but the others… well…

“Don’t worry, when I brought you here, I cut your strings of fate from the entire web.  It will be like you never existed, because for all intents and purposes, you didn’t.  The person named Jonathan Juevos never existed.  All that remains are a set of memories that aren’t even real.  You don’t have to worry about people missing you.” Monkey

His sombre voice and overall sorrowful expression surprises me.  A sad smile adorned his face, his eyes downcast and somehow nostalgic?

“How did you know that’s what I was thinking?” Oscar

He looks at me with a knowing smile, his previous demeanor slowly fading, but not leaving completely.

“Let’s just say I have some first hand experience.  Now then, chop chop!  Can’t spend forever in this forest!  We need to find you a Fae, they’ll be able to find you a place to rest and give you some info on this world.  I didn’t get that good a look into things when I sent us here, I only got a rough look at the world.  It’s pretty big, about twice as big as earth.  Little surprised the gravity isn’t higher, but it wouldn’t be the first time physics decided to take a rain check on me.  I should have just enough mana for a locator wish.” Monkey

He looks at me expectantly, while I’m a little lost.  He starts doing the ‘annnnd~?’ motion with his hands.  I still don’t know what's going on.  He just huffs and pinches his nose.

“God, what are schools teaching you guys these days?  You know that old british short story, right?  ‘The Monkey’s Tail?’ war vet from india comes to this house, has a magical, cursed artifact that’s looks like a petrified monkey’s tail?  Not ringing any bells?  Nobody knows if the tail’s magic but things happen in a scarily similar fashion to the wishes?  Still nothing?  Really?” Monkey

“Wait a minute, are you talking about ‘The Monkey’s Paw’?” Oscar

“Semantics!  Now make a wish!  Come one, we don’t got all day here!” Monkey

I was a little skeptical, I mean, if what he was saying was true, that means that this may seriously come to bite me in the ass.

“And don’t worry about any of this biting you in the ass.” Monkey

‘What is with this monkey?’

“I, umm.. I wish to be led to the nearest friendly fae?” Oscar

He then scrunches up his face, making him look like he’s taking a dump, then he looks curious, he focuses again.  This continues for a minute more before his face says both realization, and terror.   His voice is one of nervousness and fear, which scares the crap out of me.

“U-umm.  Oscar, h-hate to tell you this, but, uh, your life j-just got a whole lot harder.” Monkey

The crow is calm either.  He speaks in expectation and mild fear.

“Monk, what did you see?” Crow

“Well Gung, I saw every single Fae in this world, and they are sick.  Physically, thank God, but, unfortunately, this sickness isn’t unknown to me.” Monk/Monkey

“Whats wrong with them?” Crow/Gung

He then looks at Gung the crow.

“Remember Solomon?” Monk

“AhhHHHH, FUCK!!” Gung

A lightning bolt shot down at the end of Gung’s outburst.

It hit him.

I was panicking, I honestly thought that the crow was dead.  Then, when the dust cleared, all that was left was a spear… an ornate, norse spear… with gaelic runes…

“What the fuck did I do to deserve this?” Oscar

The monkey pipes up.

“Easy!  You were born!” Monk

‘Can see why Merlin hates him.’