I had been placed into the Teen’s backpack not long after he got me, so I couldn’t really see anything.
However the shrill, bitchy voice was more than enough to give me an accurate description of the scene, as well as the other, equally annoying, voices that accompanied it soon after.
“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!” Bitchy Mother?
“Oh joy, you're not high anymore.” Teen
“EXCUSE ME?! GO INTO YOUR NOW, YOU WANNA INSULT ME, YOU DON’T GET DINNER!” Plain Old Bitch
“Heh, we both know you weren’t gonna feed me tonight anyways, so just do me a favor and stop lying to both of us.” Teen
She started screaming again, but most of it was unintelligible, so I ignored it. I then heard him moving up a flight of stairs, then I heard asshole number two of the family.
“Hey! What’s this? One of nerd friends give you a spear for LARPING! (AN, sorry, I have no fucking clue on how I’m actually supposed to write jock laughing.)Huhung huhung huhung!” Idiot
“Heh, Freshman.” Teen
That elicited more angry remarks. This guy is a real master at annoying people, Loki would be impressed. The thing is though, all of these people felt like they deserved it. I was good at reading people with darker personalities, I had to deal with them for centuries after all, and the way they spoke to him alone was not giving them good points in my book. When I started doing wishes, these guys’ fates were so fucked.
I heard him open a door, then close it, the backpack was flung toward a wall.
He had scrap metal in here.
Ouch.
“Oh, shit! Please don’t be damaged, Please don’t be damaged, Please don’t be-- Wooh! Oh good, ‘fraid you were gonna be cut in half there, my bad.” Teen
He had picked me out of the bag and inspected me for any nicks that could have been cut into me.
‘Does this guy talk to inanimate objects? Well, lonely people each have a quirk.’
He then placed me on a desk that looked homemade table, but not before I saw his homebuilt computer, it was ramshackle. The parts looked pieced together from random sources, probably dumpster-dived out of a Best Buy.
He gave it a few bangs to the side before mumbling to himself that he’d have to go hunting again for spare parts.
He logs into the computer, that has a password forty digits long, that was also a mix of random numbers and letters.
Does his family really harass him that much?
The sound of grunting, explicit moaning, and one hell of a lot of slapping derails my train of thought.
The Teen then starts mumbling and cursing about a slut and manwhores, then grabs a supersoaker, walks out of the room opens the door to the adjacent room and moves to spray a man pinning a woman to the wall, before he abruptly stops and talks in obvious amusement.
“Really, Johnny? Really? You do know that you're the seventh this month, right? And the last two both had herpes and genital warts, right?” Teen
They both stop immediately, the girl gets enraged, and the guy blanches completely.
“Bu-but I’m wearing a condom…” Johnny
The Teen who bought me starts waving at Johnny as if to calm him down.
“And those don’t work for either warts, or herpes! But don’t worry, she doesn’t have herpes on her lower regions, would have been complaining if she did.” Teen
He starts to sigh in relief, though the Teen starts turning back and shouts at him while closing the door to this room.
This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.
“Though she has been complainin’ about blisters on ‘er hands.” Teen
I didn’t get a look at his face, but the scream the Slut let out at Teen was, without a doubt, priceless.
He then locked the door and started typing searches on my fur, the surprising thing is that he types ‘glowing’ into the search box as well as my other features. Guy must have some seriously powerful mana sense if he can see my glow without any mana to fuel it. If he had some mana, he would be a seriously scary manipulator.
He goes about this for another half hour, even checking some dark web sites, but all of it turning up fruitless.
He picks me up and starts running his hand through my unnaturally soft fur, what, mana does wonders for the hair.
“Seriously, the fuck are you? Glowing, looks like it’s still alive, and has zero presence on the net. Just how did you get here? Same as your spear friend, and why does it feel so familiar? And what’s this weird gaelic rune?” Teen
{umm, Gung, did I hear him right?}
[I swear I’m hiding those runes! No one without mana should be able to see them, not even merlin was that good!]
Then it hits me. Fae-like features, natural at mana manipulation, looks like morgana and merlin… oh fuck me this is going to be an interesting few centuries.
[Monk? Why are you glowing like that?]
If I had a face, I’d be grinning like an idiot.
{easy Gung, three reasons, one: this kid is the lost son of Merlin and Morgana. Second: I’m getting my body back. And last, but certainly not least: I’m going to send us to a world with mana in about seven minutes, so hold on.}
[wah-? But I thought you needed to be wished for that to happen?!]
My figurative grin only grew wider, meaning my now blue glowing aura is practically blinding. Oscar, the Teens birth name, took notice.
{I was, by Merlin before the Fae died because of the mana loss. He said that if I ever found his son, I was to take him to a world with mana. And do you know who’s this kids parent are?}
Gungnir starts laughing like mad, his own aura blaring with blue light' it was probably using up a serious amount of mana, but he didn’t need to worry, he was going to be feeding soon. Oscar, on the other hand, was very disturbed by the situation.
“Mother fucker, just what satanic bullshit have I gotten myself invol--” Oscar
And in a blast of pure mana, we ceased to exist in the world we were all born in.
And good riddance I say.
Oh yeah, it also caused an explosion that gave everyone in the house permanent constipation. Including the Old Man’s son.
Fuck you, assholes. Fuck you.