We were about to leave The Sale Silo to go commit more murder, when a Hispanic person walked up to my team. I still outweighed the other two, so I had more voting power and was one hundred percent in charge.
“Hello there. I want to join your team, since everyone else has disappeared.”
“Of course you can join the team as number three. Just don’t get any ideas, since I am Michael Murders,” I told him using my giga-chad voice to assert my authority.
“I completely understand.” Hispanic person number one said. I gave him a number since I was kind like that to make sure people understood he differed from other Hispanic people and not part of a racial group to create pointless political commentary.
We made our way make through the city and out into the forest. Everyone got to work murdering slimes to collect crystals. Those were important since they were called crystals and came from monsters. They also were great for relieving my crippling pain that was my obesity. I had to keep bringing that up, since I was a unique and special snowflake, easily melted by criticisms, I mean attention.
“Where are all the people?” Hispanic one asked.
“They would make the start of this adventure inconvenient, so they got vaporized by the plot, I mean melted by the monsters,” I explained using my insightful gamer knowledge to arrive at the correct conclusion with no evidence. One didn’t need things like evidence when one was a giga-chad.
“Ah, you are so much smarter than me. How can I be like you?” the Asian medical student asked.
“I am still here,” Karl said, but no one cared about him and his racist thoughts. It was just enough for him to remind people he was there to make me look good by comparison.
“It isn’t easy. The first thing you need to do is drink five cups of raw unfiltered garbage each day. It will harden your body and start the process of turning you into a giga-chad. Also shitting everywhere, you can especially the forest.”
“Make lots of noise and point it out. If people don’t step in your shit, then you can’t assert your dominance. See you just stepped in it, I took a shit yesterday in the forest and it was so strong that it remained.” I pointed my finger at Hispanic one’s shoe. He didn’t get capitalization, since he wasn’t a giga-chad and should be grateful he even got a name.
“It is so hard and manly,” Hispanic one said, and I nodded. I worked hard to make my shits enjoyable for everyone. While some people might call me crass, it was an important thing to show that side of me to portray myself asa man of culture.
“Of course. I am the giga-chad of this story, I mean adventure, I mean phycological torture,” I calmly replied while jiggling my fat body amount to remind people about it.
After more slime murder and crystal collection, we made our way back to the city. Already my baggy was quite full, which was good. You never wanted to get low on your stash. We sat around while people talked about themselves.
That didn’t matter in the slightest, even though I was tricking the reader otherwise, since I was thinking about murdering them and taking all the crystals for myself. I had a lot of space inside of me after taking that shit, and I needed to fill it back up.
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That was something people didn’t know about fat people. They could put a lot up their ass. We had big asses. That is okay to say since I am fat. These tidbits were just one of many more pieces of insightful commentary to come.
But I was getting off track. My name was Michael Murders, not Michael Insightful. It wasn’t the right time to murder these teammates yet. While I wanted to, I wanted to make myself look good. It was the giga-chad way.
We came to a building and stopped there for the night. Why that specific building? Because I decided so and it looked like a good place for murder.
While every place was a good place to murder, I just had a sixth sense about these things. Other people not named Michael Murders, might have other senses, but I had murder sense. It was the most important sense out of them all.
We all got settled in for the night, but my murder senses were tingling super hard. Hispanic one was moving and was clearly planning to murder me. Well, that just means I can murder him right back without feeling bad.
I got up and bashed his head in. That was fun! I bashed in young Asian medical student’s head, and Karl’s head as well. When I got started on murdering, I just couldn’t stop. Might have been a bit much, but golly gee, those murders just won’t happen by themselves.
Now that the murders were over, I was sad that no one was around to appreciate how much of a giga-chad I was.
I shrugged sadly and got all the crystals. I then stayed in the room with the corpses as I filled up ass up with crystals. It mingled in with the shit, but the shit still remained shit. Nothing would ever change it. One did not alter the nature of a giga-chad.
Once I was done, I smiled proudly at myself since I had accomplished something amazing and was filled up again with murders and crystals. I casually made my way back to the plaza.
I blinked in surprise since the cart was no longer there. Instead, there was a small convenience store. Impressive, they probably upgraded from all the business I had given them as their best customer.
I walked into Two-Day Convenience and looked around. Despite the upgraded exterior it was lacking. I had been hoping for more. “Greets customer, how can I help you?”
Turning to the store clerk, I wiggled my obese body to non-verbally communicate. “Ah, you want to murder some more. Well, don’t worry. I can help you out, no problem.”
I stopped wiggling my body and nodded. They brought a sword out along with some armor. I slapped it on me, the weight not mattering, since I was a giga-chad and could carry anything, even the plot. Now that was a good idea. “You are my armor. And your name shall be Plot. For my girth is wide like a plot of land and you shall protect me.” It was important to have a bit of ceremony about these things.
“An impressive name. But I will need some crystals as payment,” the assistant manager said. I wiggled my body and batted my eyes, but he remained resolute.
Like a granite sculpture carved from the toughest bedrock, he deflected my charms with ease. I reluctantly pulled out my baggie and gave him his crystals.
“Thank you, Michael Murders,” he said. How did he know my name? That was a stupid question to ask, and you should feel stupid.
I was a giga-chad. Everyone knew my name. It was the giga-chad way.
I left the store Crazy Crystals. I then looked around. A random encounter appeared!
I pulled out my sword, and they kept advancing. Thugs had no care for their own lives, and they were clearly evil. I was going to murder them and let everyone praise me. More murder was always a good thing.
“Hey, we were wondering if you could give us directions?” one of them asked me. It was an attempt to trick me, how fiendish. I pulled forth my blade and pointed it at them.
“Avast ye thugs. For I am Michael Murders and a giga-chad. Your opinion has no weight, since I have all the weight!” I stepped forward, and the thugs looked at me in surprise.
“Hey man, you look like you knew what was going on. I was thinking we could work together?”
“A team with violent and weak thugs. You do not posses an ounce of giga-chad in your veins.” I then stepped forward and slashed him across the face. Blood squirted out like a fountain. I stepped out of the way of the spray. For I was a man of culture, not a brute.
I then stabbed the woman in the gut and her organs came out. She tried to grab them and put them back in as she screamed. The last man started running away. I threw my sword with the power of a giga-chad and it landed perfectly despite having never thrown a sword before.
It impaled the man in the ass and out through the groin. Just like I had planned from the start.