Why?

Healz Pleaze desperately looked for an exit, a corner, SOMETHING to put between himself and the mass of humans trying to talk to him or touch him.

Nothing he had said worked.

Nothing he had tried worked.

The guards had dragged him into the open area of the inner circle of the nipplefort, and they practically threw him into the crowd of people gathered there.

He felt like a lamb thrown into a cage filled with wolves.

“Hey, where are you from, honey?”

“So cute!”

“Who teleported you into the church?”

“I will hug you and squeeze you and call you George!”

“Oh, so you were a boy?”

“No way! I thought he was a girl!”

“Maybe he is. Go check.”

“YOU go check!”

“So are you and Daniel Bowen dating now?”

“--Wait, what?”

“Hey, what did Mike do to you?”

“Oh yeah! I heard Mike raped you.”

“I heard it was YOU who pulled down his pants.”

“No, that’s just what the girls said.”

“We did NOT!”

“Hey, did he touch you like THIS?”

“NHAA-hah!”

He felt an electrifying, erotic shiver run through his body.

His surprised voice stopped their movements.

Taking advantage, he broke away from the mass of people, and with Language Comprehension (Common) only at Level 2 he screamed:

“NO TOUCH EARS ME!”

-- and threw the hood of his cloak over his head.

“That… was actually pretty damn cute.”

“Yeah.”

"...Do it again.”

“OKAY! OKAY! BACK OFF EVERYONE! YOU’RE SCARING HIM!”

A reasonably attractive woman with an overly-large chest stepped in front of him, shielding him from the crowd. Her waist was a tad wide, her legs a little too thick, else he would have suspected her of being like… like… what’s-her-name. The one who chopped him in half back when this was just a game.

Debbie?

Daisy?

That GIRL.

That Guy In Real Life.

This woman had brown hair (fairly short), but since everyone else here also had brown hair he couldn’t use that as a frame of reference.  

What stuck out the most about her was… what stuck out from her the most.

That chest.

Not that it mattered, though.

He noticed it, but he wasn’t thinking about it.

Why?

Why did I come back to this damn place?

Why did I want to save them?

Ever since my...

‘Rebirth’?

‘Reincarnation’?

Whatever. Let’s not start THAT again.

Ever since my new life started, nothing has gone right.

Even Heinrick and Shiela are treating me differently from how they used to, even though I was the one who kept them alive.

The only one who treated me like a PERSON was that paladin…

Joan.

Right.

Her name was Joan… Gedder?

Although she also cast a spell at me.

it’s like I can only be an enemy or a sex toy to these humans.

…

Huh.

When did I start thinking of these PEOPLE as ‘these humans’?

As if I’m completely different from them.

As if they’re ‘not MY species’.

Did I lose my humanity… when I became… no longer human?

That’s… not good.

“Sorry about that. They can be SUCH children sometimes.”

Miss Big Chest had turned back towards him.

“Hey!” exclaimed someone behind her.

“Justin, would you like me to tell everyone about the time you took a carpet beater and—”

“—I’ll be quiet.”

“Good.”

“…Carpet beater?”

“Shut up!”

She knelt down on one knee so that their heights sort of matched.

“I’m Robin. Robin Evans. And you are?”

Huh. How polite.

“… Medic.”

Like hell I’m going to say my real name. ALSO, IT’S NOT MY REAL NAME!

“Medic…?”

She asked it like ‘and your last name is…?’

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“Medic.”

Firmly. 'Just ‘Medic’ if you please, thank you very much.'

Not that he could say it like that.

Level 2 Language Comprehension (Common), after all.

Still…

Maybe he could use her to help get to Level 3 comprehension.

“Hey. What them do?” He pointed at the scurrying guards as they brought more people, more cattle, more cats and dogs into the compound.

Some hurried on into the tower.

Some carried what seemed like important papers.

He didn’t see his would-be rapist… yet.

“Hmm? Oh. ‘What are they doing’? Well you see…”

Language Comprehension (Common): +5

Yes! It’s working!

Learning a language comes in three stages (or if you’re playing a certain MMO, three Levels):

1. Nouns and verbs (the ‘Me Tarzan! You Jane!’ stage)

2. Sentence structure and pronounciation (the ‘My hovercraft is full of eels’ stage)

3. Grammar and syntax (the ‘They’re / Their / There’ stage)

In order to progress past level 1, it is absolutely necessary to find someone to practice on. Once you do, language comprehension usually speeds up considerably. The problem is that one tends to fear making a mistake so bad it’s hilarious.

The infamous ‘Helping my Uncle Jack off a horse / Helping my uncle jack off a horse’ problem.

In this case though, the person named Robin Evans seemed like a good ‘gentle older sister’ type and she seemed just as delighted as him when he got a sentence right.

An excellent human and teacher.

No.

An excellent person.

Language Comprehension (Common): +15

And the points for Language Comprehension (Common) were coming in QUITE nicely.

“So why white?” She asked, touching his cloak.

Normally he would have shied away, but it was a mark of his respect that he allowed it from her.

“White?”

What’s white?

“…Hm? Um.”

She pointed at his clothes in confusion.

“Er, YOU put it on, dear. Didn’t you notice?”

Huh?

His clothes had turned completely white somehow.

Pure white.

Bleached white.

What the hell?

His pants were white.

His boots were white.

His cloak…

Hey…

His cloak had a red cross on the back.

It was just like the design he used when he was originally creating his elf character.

Somebody… knows me?

The previous me?

Somebody knows who I was BEFORE? Like my real name and everything?

...

And does that someone like the color white THAT much?

“Hah…”

I didn’t think much of it at the time, but the cloth that covered me at the church… Wasn’t it was white too? I think I managed to open my eyes a little when I got groped while I was being carried upstairs.

That dress that let me cover myself up (as a transvestite though) was also white…

My would-be rapist was drinking from a white bottle (which indirectly allowed me to escape)…

“Hah… Hah…”

So… could all of this have been the work of that somebody? Perhaps… the god of that church I appeared in?

If so, that god has a perverted sense of humor…

“Hah hah hah…”

Someone nearby was breathing quite loudly and ruining his train of thought. How rude.

Suddenly a guard came screaming as he pelted into the tower.

“SIR! LORD BOWEN SIR! THAT ARMY OUTSIDE ALL JUST SUDDENLY COMMITTED SUICIDE!"

It started snowing.

White snowflakes were falling.