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It's Always Darkest Before The Joan

It's Always Darkest Before The Joan

In The Beginning, There Was Darkness… And Touching

He was touched by a guy… that way.

The guy screamed.

Then he came back and touched him again… that way.

Another guy came, and despite the deep porno-actor voice only ruffled his hair.

“…And there was much rejoicing.”

He was carried downstairs by a surprisingly fit woman… or perhaps not. His new body seemed MUCH lighter now.  Leaving the pressure of the church gave him slightly more energy as well.

She touched him too… in that way. He hoped she was cute, because he couldn’t help reacting to it.

“…And there was much rejoicing.”

He was put into a bed, still naked, and left alone.

Situation Report: I am in a new, smaller, lighter body, and I’m still male, thank God.

...

Wait, which god?

...

I guess it doesn’t matter…not right now anyways. What DOES matter is that I have fluffy hair and apparently EXTREMELY SENSITIVE pointed ears. If that girl who groped me had touched my ears as well I think I would have stained her blouse. It’s a damn good thing I didn’t have any energy in the church or a certain place in my rear would have been opened a whole lot wider.

Wait.

Fluffy Hair? Pointy Ears?

I’m an elf?

Am I still in the game?

The last thing I remember…

Oh crap.

That… that was a heart attack, wasn’t it?

I… died, didn’t I?

So why am I an elf?

Did I just become my MMO character?

Everything feels far too real.

LTO could never manage THIS level of sensory immersion.

Not to mention everyone was speaking that strange language.

I‘ve never felt an aura like THAT before either.

So… another world?

LTO the World?

A different world?

Either way, this could be HUGE.

Do I still have my character’s stats and skills?

Is the interface still working?

...

Then again, why would a level one newbie be transferred instead of a level Godly with Epic Gear?

...

And why do I feel someone staring at me?

There WAS someone else nearby. Someone was looking at him… in that way.

Damn it, not AGAIN! You… You just stay over there, okay? Don’t you DARE come over here!

Then another woman came and interrupted that person’s concentration.

“…And there was much rejoicing.”

There was some sort of quiet argument, and then suddenly the woman… changed.

Her voice became lower in timber, and her manner of speaking sounded more thoughtful and polite.

Then the two agreed on something and approached the bed he was laying in.

THIS can’t be good…

There was a slight wooden creak as the woman sat down on a chair next to him.

That’s when he felt it.

She had an aura.

Not like in the church, her aura was more quiet… warmer… it was like sunlight.

You could trust this person.

She was a good person.

That’s how it felt.

And when she touched him, it wasn’t filled with lust. First she ruffled his hair playfully.

The second time…

LET THERE BE LIGHT

Energy filled his body, and he unconsciously moaned. He couldn’t help it.

Light had exploded in his head and chest, and suddenly he could BE.

HE EXISTED.

“…And there was MUCH rejoicing.”

He could finally move!

He could finally open his eyes!

+6 hp floated and then disappeared from in front of him, almost too quickly to see.

He lay in what must have been the largest bed he had ever seen… not.

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That’s right, I’m smaller now. Still, this must be the king-sized version.

The bed clearly had a wooden frame, and from what he could tell from laying on top of it, not stuffed with springs.

Perhaps… wool?

Two blankets covered him, a white linen one, and a colorful quilted one of green and brown on top. It was quite warm.

At the foot of the bed stood a man with chocolate-brown skin, straight black hair receding from his forehead, dressed in a royal purple medieval tunic and brown leather pants. He was holding a very large, very pointy knife in one hand, not the kind for cutting bread but clearly one for stabbing people, and what looked like a wooden clipboard in the other.

Hispanic? …Probably not.

The guy looked very guarded. The dagger was pointed directly at him.

I’m NAKED and clearly smaller than you. What are you expecting me to try?

Don’t answer that!

The woman sitting next to him was…

GAH! Two-Face’s sister!

No wait… She’s the one who helped me.

The woman was wearing a blue dress – no, a blue nun’s habit.

She chose to wear her blonde hair freely, without tying it up or shaping it with loads of hairspray. She actually looked quite cute in a natural way… well, half of her face did.

The other half had that angry red and brown melted wax look common to burn victims. Her left ear was just a bumpy hole on the side of her head, barely covered by small clumps of wispy white hair.

Her left eye was just a leathery milky white ball, barely being held in by what was left of her eyelids. It looked like she couldn’t close that eye anymore. Her left eyebrow was missing.

The burn scars covered a large chunk of her forehead, just barely missed her nose and lips, and traveled down her neck down into her dress nun’s habit.

From what he could see, her left hand and wrist had also been burnt badly.

Her other eye was sapphire blue.

She looked at him like she had just seen something wonderful on his face, before abruptly changing into a serious mood.

“[I’m okay. Right. I’m sorry child, but I have to get some answers out of you.]”

She suddenly pointed at him.

“[In the Light of Truth, none may hide, all must submit to the Command: Confess your true name and identity!]”

Something happened…

Nothing happened.

Miss Good Aura continued to look at him.

I should say something, right?

His system hadn’t fully rebooted, so his arms still didn’t want to move much, but he managed somehow to lift his body up off the pillow to look at her directly.

“Um, I’m sorry. I have no idea what you just said.”

A look of total confusion came over her face.

“[Eh?]”

He shifted in the bed slightly, carefully pulling the covers back up over his chest and moving his legs to hide a certain problem that had sprung up.

Perhaps it was because his body was really excited to be alive, but his body was REALLY EXCITED to be alive.

“…And there was MUCH rejoicing.”

He prepared himself to start reciting prime numbers in his head.

“Um, yeah. Sorry, I don’t speak your language, so… Wait. You just healed me, you have an aura, and you just cast a spell at me, right? Are you a paladin?”

THAT got her attention. A smile broke out on her face. She pointed at herself.

“[Yes! I am a] paladin. [My name is Joan.]”

It was sudden, it was small, it was at the bottom left of his vision, and it moved when he moved his head, but he could see writing appear:

Language Comprehension (Common): + 1

Here's where we finally start seeing the MMORPG vs Fantasy stuff.

The quote is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

 NARRATOR:  And so Arthur and Bedemir and Sir Robin set out on their

     search to find the enchanter of whom the old man had spoken in Scene 24.

     Beyond the forest they met Launcelot and Galahad, and there was much

     rejoicing.

 ALL:  Yaaaaay!  Yaaaaay!

 NARRATOR:  In the frozen land of Nador they were forced to eat Robin's

     minstrels.  And there was MUCH rejoicing.

 ALL:  Yaaaaay!

I'll be updating my other series tomorrow.