"Okay," I said as I crossed my arms, "explain this to me again. WHY do we have to go down into the lair of a fire-breathing dragon?"

"Because we've already come this far," replied Dr. Snively with a matter-of-fact tone. "We can't waste this opportunity!"

"How is surviving a waste?" I objected, "what about all this fancy equipment? Can't it be used instead of us? Can't we watch the dragon at a distance?"

"Well, sure, but SOMEONE still has to go down there to set it up. It can't just be thrown down there, not only would it break but it'd not be in the right position to even be usable. It can be me that does all that, but there's so much equipment and it's heavy, so I'd need help from some others carrying it down."

"Do we even know how deep that hole is?"

"My sensors indicate it's about eighteen feet down, then it veers off, like a tunnel." Dr. Snively's device made strange sounds. "But I can't get more detailed readings than that from up here."

"I hate to be the negative Nancy," I looked around at the group, "but this seems like suicide."

Dr. Snively rolled his eyes. "You won't dissuade me, Cole. I've waited years for this. The rest of you aren't cowards like Cole, are you?"

"I mean, it's a dangerous dragon," replied Cleetus, "but I've never seen one up close. Been on some dangerous missions in the past, can't imagine going down there's that different."

"I won't believe it until I see it," answered Laurence. "I'll go in with you if only to confirm you're wrong, Sherman."

"Too many people have died already," said Detective LaLouf, "it's my duty to investigate their tragic ends. If that means facing a dragon, so be it."

I stared blankly at the party. "You all are fucking nuts."

"Well," said Snively, "if you don't want to go in-"

"-I do not," I quickly interjected.

"-you can stay up here and tend the line. We're going to need someone to raise and lower us in and out. You brought line, didn't you, Laurence?"

"I did. You never know when you need line."

"Atta boy, Laurence!"

"Sure, I can do that," I answered. "Anything but going down there to my death."

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"Hold up," Cleetus raised his hands. "So Cole will be up here...alone?"

I swallowed hard. I knew exactly why he was asking.

"Well, yes, the rest of us are going into the dragon lair," replied Snively.

"Guys, I..." Cleetus was searching for an excuse, "I'm Cole's bodyguard. I gotta stay with him. Can't leave him up here all alone when I'm supposed to be protecting him. We'll both handle the line."

By 'handle the line', no doubt he meant hang me with it. I would not go softly into that good night. Maybe the dragon lair wasn't so bad in comparison...

But before I could state a change of heart, Snively let out a huff. "Cleetus, I NEED you down there. The Telefritzbox is essential and no offense to Laurence and Lola, but you're the only one with muscles here who can handle it!"

"But...I can't leave Cole..." Cleetus protested.

"Cole, I'm sorry, you have to come with us. The future of life on Mars may depend on it." The doctor turned to the detective. "Lola, can you handle the line?"

"What? No!" LaLouf objected, "I'm going in, my victims deserve answers! This is part of my investigation."

Snively turned to his former co-worker. "In that case, Laurence, can you handle the line?"

"I can, Sherman," replied Laurence, "but if I don't see this supposed dragon with my own eyes I'll never believe it really exists."

Snively let out an exasperated fart. "Then who can be in charge of the line?"

Suddenly, Boom-Boom walked right in front of us. She plopped down on her back and began happily rolling around in the sand. Snively shot me a glance.

"Is she an intelligent cat?" he asked.

"She knows her name," I replied.

We spent the next couple minutes instructing Boom-Boom how to watch the line and how to raise/lower it when needed. She handled it as any cat would, namely batting the control box and then laying down on top of it.

"Is this a good idea?" LaLouf asked anyone who'd respond.

"I bet she'll be there when it counts," the doctor replied.

I can't recall exactly how long it took us all to enter the hole but I was the third one down. I had gone into dark spaces not unlike it to hide explosives in the past so it wasn't a matter of claustrophobia or nothing. But it was dark, short of the small flashlights Laurence managed to scrounge up, and I was carrying a heavy scientific device on my back that I had to be gentle with. As my feet hit the bottom of the hole I looked up to the opening light pouring down. I sure hoped that wouldn't be my last glimpse of daylight.

"Right, so," Dr. Snively said when we all were down, "I am happy to lead the charge. But we don't know what to expect-"

"-A dragon," we all (short of Laurence) answered.

"Yes, but I mean, other than the dragon physically being there. So we'll have to be vey careful and very quiet." At that moment, he let out a fart; it echoed slightly in the new space.

"Sherman," said LaLouf dryly, "I know it isn't something you can completely control, but maybe now would be a good time to let off some 'steam', so to speak, so you can be more quiet as our lead?"

The doctor looked embarrassed. "Oh, um, yes. Good thinking. I'll just step over here, one moment."

For the next five minutes it was a cornucopia of bellows that came from Dr. Snively's backside. The rest of us stood in awkward silence, heads bowed, trying our best to be polite given the situation. When the air was ripe with odor, Dr. Snively let out a sigh of relief.

"I believe that about does it," he said. "Does anyone else need to-"

"-no," we all answered, this time Laurence included.

"Okay. Then it's time for us to make scientific history!" The doctor pressed a button on his device as he slowly entered the tunnel.

I shook my head as I took one last glance up at the suface light.