Nothing happened the day before. It’s morning, 20th Mabon. Autumn Equinox starts tomorrow, and a lot of people will arrive at the castle to celebrate. Today might be my last chance to sneak around to find more information.
Yesterday I was too tired to move from my room. I didn’t have the courage to bathe, crying in my bed all day long. It’s been horrible. I can’t let go of the images haunting me. Mother came to see me upstairs, but she was short on words. She didn’t know how to console me, and most importantly she wasn’t aware of the reason I was feeling so terribly. She asked me if I was bleeding. My empty gaze was answer enough and she had left. Did she honestly think I could hide my pain out of duty? No, pain isn’t made to be hidden, it’s made for everyone to see. If the crown cries, the kingdom shall too.
I dress in a simple white dress, put on high socks and a cloak. It’s time to get to work.
I make sure my family is in the throne room, having breakfast. I woke up at dawn, as I fell asleep very early last night. A little more energized than usual, I go to the royal office. The door has been replaced and the interior looks as good as new. Bookshelves have plenty of books and scrolls. Father’s desk is filled with letters and accords. Mostly trade and issues with…
Oh. Peregrine. I’ve heard that name once before. Something to do with transportation of goods. It’s been a while since I’ve heard this name. From what I learn, it’s an organization, trading with the Otherworld still, even though the Queen cut off the supply chains. Weird, but not important for my investigation. I put the letter back.
I open the drawers, frantically searching for anything. There it is, the letter of the Queen. It has been crumpled and then straightened back. Paper is now wrinkly and doesn’t smell the same way as before. It used to have a tint of honey, but now it smells like everything in this office - mint.
He must have been angry - still, he kept the letter. Bizarre too, but doesn’t give me anything. A secret that they’ve buried can’t be linked to West’s injury and that is my top priority. I still cannot bring myself to say ‘death’. Is it simply a coincidence that the queen used the word ‘buried’ after mentioning West’s dead limp body?..
Was it Father and the Queen who hired someone to kill him?!
The door to the office opens and I jump in terror. Father is standing there, surprised to see me going through his things. He furrows his brows and crosses his arms, waiting for my explanation.
I go mute, putting the letter back into the drawer. I smile awkwardly and a nervous laugh creeps out.
“What are you doing here this early in the morning?'' His voice is a thunder. I smile and get away from the desk.
“I’d like to participate in royal affairs. To help you out catch the intruders and… help out. In general.”
This doesn’t seem to do the trick as he approaches me and puts his hand on my shoulder. He squeezes it and I wince. “Do not enter without permission.”
“But-”
“No buts. Now leave. And don’t you dare come back here without my approval.”
I look at him, not understanding his reaction in the slightest. What has gotten into him? I leave in a hurry, slipping on the glass floors. To avoid being splattered on the floor, I grab the balcony’s metal fence, steadying myself. The courtyard under me is nearly finished. Birds have returned, but soon will leave, migrating to the South. I’ll be sad to see them go.
I wipe my face and groan under my breath. To Mother then.
I find her in the music room, staring at the fortepiano. She doesn’t notice when I come in. I didn’t bother knocking. I watch her empty gaze and hesitate talking to her at all. How have we become so distant? I cannot place the time when she decided I was not worth her attention. Maybe it was when Spica was born, or maybe it was when I enlisted in the Academy for the first time.
Mother looks perfectly nice, as always. Her hair is pulled up, adorned with multiple gemstones and a circlet of gold around her temples. She wears the usual make up from the south-west. Green eyeshadow and red lipstick. I’ve always known she was beautiful, not because she is my mother, but because she truly did have incredible features. With her high and large cheekbones and plump lips. Her big doe eyes and bushy eyebrows. Maybe I’ll grow up to look just like her - I do resemble her a lot, same eyes, same lips, except for the nose and cheekbones, those I inherited from the king.
Her dress is long and hugs her body, her neck is exposed, as is the cleavage. Her breath is ragged, as her fingers find the keyboard. The lid is up, showing the sound board and the treble strings. Her tiny foot is on the pedal, unmoving, as if she didn’t even plan on playing.
“Your Majesty,” I finally say and she turns to face me.
“Norella. What brings you here?”
“I’ve been curious about the development of the investigation.”
Her face does not show any emotion. She seems numb, erased from reality. Maybe she has not forgotten the flames. Maybe it’s not been long enough, or maybe it’s been too long.
“Why don’t you ask the king? He seems to be busy these days.”
“You don’t know?” I press on. She shakes her head. “Father doesn’t want to share. He is distant.”
This is when she finally looks up at me again, clasping her hands together, she stands up. “The king must have his reasons, then. Why are you so interested in the affairs of the realm?”
I gasp in surprise. “Why? Because my home was attacked! And because my shadowguard, friend and lover has been awfully hurt by someone. Probably someone who put nut powder in my wine and burned the library.”
The words sting her right where it hurts, as it seems. “Do not say ‘lover’ it is disgusting. But this is none of your concern - the king has a plan and he will keep us safe. Nothing has happened in the past two days, has it not?”
I nod, agreeing. The intruders have not attacked since the library incident. They’ve been silent and I don’t know if it’s a good sign. How can you find someone who has gone into hiding?
“But the Autumn Equinox is tomorrow, a lot of people will be coming here, and outside the palace too. What if there is another incident? And this time with casualties on our hands? What if Spica gets hurt?”
Mother lifts her finger, her face a furious grimace. “Spica is safe under the king’s protection.”
“Is she, Mother?” I dare. “Nobody prevented the incidents from happening - what if next time she’s in the middle of it? Doesn’t matter if you’re with her, the intruder shot West from the shadows! Nobody even felt his presence!”
My voice breaks and I leave. She doesn’t follow me.
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
***
Evening comes shortly. I can’t lose any more time. I even spoke to Auretta, but she hasn’t heard anything unusual. The staff were interrogated by guards outside the palace, to avoid a conflict. The knights were questioned too, as were their close families, but apparently nothing has been found. I remembered the emblem I found in the remains of the library - the symbol of Malachite’s force. I hid it in my desk’s drawer. There was no way to know who it belonged to, so I kept it as a keepsake of sorts. Maybe one day it will be useful.
Tomorrow is the Equinox. In the past I’d wait the entire year for this celebration. Now it felt like letting danger into our doorstep. I felt anxious all day, unable to eat properly or think about anything but my investigation that was a complete fiasco.
Dinner time was upon us, the bells rang in the foyer and were heard all over the castle. It was time to ask the questions directly. I had no choice - people could be in danger tomorrow. Only now, when the sun has set, that I realize that it’s a perfect opportunity to kill many people in the same place. If there was another fire, we would all perish in its grip.
The servants put on the tablecloth and fill the table with food. One of the servants pushes back the chair and I sit. I wait until everyone is sitting before serving myself some soup - light food to ingest. I pour myself a little white wine, for courage.
“Father,” I start, looking at my glass and taking a good sip. I swallow it, not even tasting the exquisite bittersweetness of it. “How is the investigation going?”
He smirks, as if he knew I’d ask that. He makes a sign for servants to leave us. Mother stares at him in disbelief. She must know something, something she doesn’t want me to know, something he will spit out very soon. Or at least I hope he will.
“The intruders have been found and put in jail. Everyone is safe now, Norella.”
I don’t believe this in the slightest. I grab my spoon and gulp down the fish soup.
“Mother doesn’t seem to be aware of it.” I say. “Or have they been found this afternoon?”
The king throws Mother a look of disdain and sighs. “I appreciate you being so curious about the safety of the palace, but you are not needed, daughter.”
“I don’t agree, Father. I think I might be of help. I know I can help.”
“What can you do?” he puts pressure on the can. I lower my gaze.
There’s a deafening silence and every clank of silverware is a loud echo in the room. I don’t dare to look at Rigel, nor Spica. I don’t know where to place them in this mess. Do they know? Do they not know?
“I am the heir to the throne and well educated in all matters of the state. You’ve brought me up to be a powerful and independent ruler. Why must I, now that my degree is done and courses finished, cower in the shadows and let you do all the work?”
“Because you do not understand. Some things are better off being ignored.”
“This is a lie,” I put my glass on the table. “I’ve lost a man I love four days ago and you all act like I’ve been nothing but a nuisance.”
I’m afraid of the repercussions, but I have nothing else to lose. West is already gone. There’s nothing they can blackmail me with. I have the upper hand now.
Father groans. “Stop it, it was not love and it’s not like he is dead.”
The words pierce something in me. I open my mouth and exhale loudly. An angry smile appears on my lips.
“What will you do about the revolution?”
Mother’s eyes widen and Father’s lips become a thin line. “You’ve been snooping around, Norella. I don’t like that.”
“I am sorry, but it had to be done. So, tell me. The revolution? Is this true?”
Spica looks up to the king with sad eyes. “What? A revolution?”
Father gets up from his seat and bangs his fist on the table, clattering the utensils. “I’ve told you everything you need to know.”
“That’s not true! If I’m to be crowned one day, I should know whether my people are still loyal to me or not!”
I stand up too. Mother watches the scene with inexplicable horror in her eyes. Spica stays silent, this time.
“Do not insult me, Norella. This movement doesn’t deserve the title. They’re undisciplined and uneducated people trying to scare us.”
“These uneducated people already succeeded!” I blare. “You are already scared, all of you.”
Father steps away from the table and goes to me. Immediately, I move to the other side of the table, opposite of his towering figure. My stomach twists and I try not to empty it on the ground. I’m so tired of feeling weak.
“Those who burned the library will be found and punished according to our laws. The person who put nuts in the wine will face the same consequences. And the one who killed your shadowguard-”
“Will be hanged.” I finish.
“Sweetie, your shadowguard can’t be dead, the Isles are known to have good medicine,” Mother’s voice is overly sweet.
“Stop lying!” I cry out. “The Fae Queen said she received his limp dead body.”
Father’s eyebrows rise and he bites the inside of his cheek. He clenches his jaw and I notice the muscles moving around like insects. “It was a private letter!”
“You lied to me! You let West die! I know our medicine is not the best. I know our medics cannot heal a torn artery.” I feel tears gather in my eyes. It stings. My lips quiver. I take a step towards where my parents are standing. My legs tremble under the weight of the conversation. I can barely stand straight.
“But it wasn’t our fault! Why didn’t you heal him? You are knowledgeable in healing arts. What did you study for? You couldn’t save him – do not blame us for your incompetence.” I feel nauseous. This is such a horrible thing to say. Mother’s torn face proves she didn’t want to say it. Then why did she say it. I swallow back my tears.
“It is not my fault!” I pronounce every word as clearly as I can. I stare them down, swearing that if I don’t, I’ll lose consciousness right here.
“It is for the best,” The queen says, kneeling in front of me. I see the king’s face twitch and I understand it all.
“Wait… You killed him because I loved him?!” I stutter, taking a step back. “This is… No way… You already took a friend of mine once and it wasn’t enough?.. How could you?” I bawl. Everything burns. The empty space stays the same.
“This is utter nonsense,” The king states, sitting back down. “We did not assassinate your shadowguard. And your friend, what was her name, was a spy, Norella. She was deported for the right reason.” The room smells of belladonna. Poisonous, too sweet. Where is it coming from? I look down at my hands and notice petals and berries on the ground, pushing through the invisible cracks on the marble floor.
I sob, crumbling on the ground. Mother moves closer to me, but I push her hand away. She takes a berry and smells it. She turns to Father. His mouth is a grimace and his brows are furrowed, there are many wrinkles around his nose.
“Everything we do is to protect you from the world. It is a dreadful coincidence your… shadowguard was killed. But do not link his death and the loss of your friend to us.”
“What do I do then? You told me I was powerless, I cannot help find the intruder, I cannot learn more about the unrest in the country. So what am I supposed to do? Obey and stay in my room?”
“You will be a sweetheart to our guests tomorrow, and let the king take care of things. I promise you, no harm will ever come to you.” Mother speaks.
I don’t care about being hurt. I care about learning the truth. This conversation was just enlightening enough. I didn’t learn much, but the fact that the revolution does indeed exist. Father is apparently not linked to West’s tragic demise. And Mother is absent from the reunions on the affairs, she didn’t know West has died and didn’t consult Father after speaking to me.
I get up, fighting back the tears.
“You let West die out of pride. You were too afraid to ask the neighboring countries for medicinal help years ago. You killed him. I couldn’t save him, but you should have. Because you are king and queen.” I master in the end and leave the throne room.
I do not look back, forcing myself to get some fresh air after such an ordeal. It hurts so much, but at least they know. I might have signed my lockdown contract. I might be pushed to be the innocent, ignorant young girl again. But I am a woman now, in more ways than one, and I will fight for what is right. I will learn the truth and find the killer, because it’s the least I can do to serve West’s death justice. The assassin will not be left unpunished.