I’ve been put in a room with no furniture save for a small sofa. It smells of mold and wood. The windows are shut, my nose scrunching at the stuffy air. I wait patiently, as they work out the plan. How to use me as leverage? What to ask of me? I’m ready to help them, if what they say is true. Public executions? How long have we been gone?
I hear distant birds’ songs. I push against the window, where a single ray of light manages to pass through the wooden shutters. In the dark room, with no one but me, I know no one from the palace will come to save me. I am stuck in this building, unaware of my position, unaware of the political situation outside. I don’t know what’s worse, that the revolution is getting ready to attack one last time, or the duo of Father and Rigel doing unimaginable things to our subjects. Rigel’s hunger for the crown, only now, I see it was his one and only dream. He hated me all his life, considered himself more apt for the job, just because he was born a man. Now that his dream came true, is his thirst satiated? Can he rest in peace now, or must he wreak havoc over Malachite to demonstrate his power? By executing people? Innocents? What has gotten into Father’s head to let him do that?
Someone opens the door. I want them dead, but at the same time, I want to help them stop the executions. Do they think the same of me? Is it a mortal thing, to have such contradictory thoughts?
“Follow me.” An agent demands. Her hood hides her face and I’m unable to tell if she’s young like me, or if she’s a weathered soldier like August. Maybe best not to know. If she was just a child, it would mean I want her dead. And I don’t want to be known as a murderer of children.
For now, I obey. I have to think this all through. See it with my own eyes, to check the facts, and to calculate my next move. I cannot be controlled by the wave of others, I must build my own road.
We walk through the halls and this time, I see every detail of their lives. Unable to take my eyes off the moldy walls, I note the poverty. As if the abandoned building was not symbol enough. Is it used as a hiding spot, where nobody would search for them, or is this all they can find?
My feet ache from all these traveling, and the bright light burns my eyes. Nevertheless, I persevere. I never thought about it, how it would be, to fight a civil war, act like an agent in disguise; make difficult choices - to work together or not. For now, the war is just mindless slaughter, not a battle. And father’s executions are not good retaliation, it is a cry for more violence. As if he’s begging for the revolution to strike. As if he had a plan to capture and destroy them when they think they have the upper hand. It would have been a smart, cruel, but smart plan, but I know the king. He is but a coward, and he would never scheme such a grand plan.
“In here.” She points to a wooden door. It’s not the same office August met me in, this one smells different, it’s a mix of sage and parsley. Feels like I’m being dragged into a kitchen.
Once I enter, I see I completely misunderstood the place. The room is more than comfortable. There are leather couches, big soft armchairs and a coffee table in the center. The windows are open, giving me a glimpse of the outside world. The sun is hidden behind gray clouds and autumn leaves are moving as if there was a storm.
“Princess,” August says, watching me approach the group. There are five people sitting, while August stands, holding a piece of paper. It has a royal emblem on it. I swallow hard. It’s either a missive to liberate me, or my death sentence. “We have a job for you. The one you can complete without much difficulty, as we well know… You possess magical talent.”
I furrow my brows and my lips become a thin line.
“Kaytus informed us of your capacities. Not bad for a human. Not bad for a royal either.”
“We, royals are taught discipline. Of course I master magic quite well.”
August seems amused at my snarky remark, as he throws the paper on the coffee table. It slides on the mahogany surface and stops right before falling off the edge.
“The Aquamarine Academy is closed off. The doors shut at people asking for help. My people.”
“Yours?” I ask, not surprised in the least. He is the commander of the revolution, he must think of my subjects as his. Otherwise he wouldn’t be the leader Kaytus paints him to be. With his intricate sewn cloak and a rich vest. Based on the way he dresses, he must feel powerful - and that, as I’m learning, is more important than having power by blood.
August hums, “Your job is to go to the Academy and try to talk them into opening their gates to help those in need. Those whose houses burned,” He pauses, staring me down. “By your brother.”
“And if they refuse?”
“Then we already won.” He seems so sure of himself. So unaware of how the Academy functions. “But the price is too high, to not at least try.”
“You don’t have magic, right?” I ask, approaching the others. They’re passive, but their gaze never leaves me. They must be his bloodhounds - ready to shred me to pieces when my time is up.
“Why?”
“Because if you did, and went to the Academy, you’d know they don’t answer to the crown. Officially, they do, but internally, they have their own laws and hierarchy. They won’t listen to me just because I was the crown princess.”
August sighs. “So you cannot do that?” He seems slightly annoyed at most. A shiver passes through me.
“I can try,”
“Your life depends on it, sweetheart.” August smiles, but his eyes are as deadly as the first time I met him.
“Okay…” I sigh, trying to relieve the tension in my shoulder muscles. They’re sore, everything hurts and I’m hungry. By the spirits, I’ll never manage such a task.
“I see you’re exhausted from the adventures. Well, we’ll feed you, give you clothes, and then…” he stops, looking out of the window. Rain started pouring while we spoke. “Then, you’ll go to the Academy and speak. You’ll be accompanied by two agents. If you try to flee, they will kill you.”
“I’ll die either way.” I say, putting my hands behind my back. “You will kill us all like pigs, whether I help you or not.”
The commander lights up his pipe and puffs the smoke into the open window. I feel a bit of fresh air caress my hair and face. I miss nature so much, I might as well work with them for the time being. I don’t want to die yet. Just another day outside, breathing the Samhain air, the old oaks’ shadows protecting my skin from the sun, the tea afternoons at home. I miss it. And I have no choice but to obey, if I wish to keep a semblance of my past.
“You can be a valuable asset. But I have a feeling you won’t give up the crown so easily. I feel there’s a fire in you,” He goes up to me, his figure towering. He’s not the tallest man I’ve met, but his demeanor is what makes him so scary. I nod. “But this fire can be extinguished.”
After giving me mashed potatoes and a sausage as a ‘proof of their good will’, they offered me new clothes. Mine needed to be washed, so instead they burned them. Said the Fae world’s gifts had no place in our country. I’ve noticed Kaytus has changed too. He never left August’s side, when I was there. He didn’t look at me, didn’t mock me. When I was dressed, fed and cleaned, I was brought into the same room, where only the commander and his loyal spy talked.
They stand close to the window, their hair shining under the sun, that was not hidden by clouds any more. August’s lips turn upward, as Kaytus whispers something in his ear. They laugh, and the commander’s hand slides to Kaytus’s chin. He holds him, until he notices me and the agent who brought me here.
They take a step away from each other and Kaytus coughs. I wrinkle my eyes, looking at the agent. She jerks her chin and leaves. I stand in front of two men, feeling very, very small. And yet, a blush is visible on Kaytus’s cheeks. What have I gotten into?
“You’re ready.” August states, coming closer. I join my hands.
“Let’s go. I can’t stand this place.”
“Not lavish enough for your taste?” He smirks. His beard follows his lips. It is nicely trimmed, something I associate with good social standing.
“Too many murderers in one place makes me distressed.” I sneer.
The man lifts his eyebrows and turns to face Kaytus, who hasn’t moved an inch.
“I like her. Maybe we could keep her.” I grimace at his words, but Kaytus smiles. It’s a genuine smile.
“Commander, that’s unethical.”
“Killing is as well. Unethical, but necessary.” He snaps his fingers. “Bring her to the ground team. She’s leaving now.” He barks the last words, completely changing his demeanor. I cringe, realizing the mood swings must run in the department.
They show me where the horses are being held. A little farther from the building, by a creek. Tho horses are already waiting. I get on horseback, and the female agent gets on the same one. She pushes me back on the saddle, groaning, as if I were an inconvenience. They wouldn’t give me my own, afraid I’d get away. Not my smartest move, but I could have tried.
The rain started again, out of nowhere this time. The skies are quite clear and yet, my new clothes are soaking wet. The slim high waisted pants, a long gray shirt, held by a belt around my waist, and high leather boots with a little fur on top, where the laces meet the knee. The woman’s colleague throws me a coat with a hood and I put it on, keeping my balance.
We rode for quite some time, and then, we saw Argenis’ gates. They are open and the city seems to be fine. No fires or riots, not even guards at the entrance. We pass through, unnoticed by the crowd. We merge with the crowd, walking our horses through the central street, leading straight to our destination. I try not to look around; keeping my coat’s hood around my face - to stay unnoticed just a little longer.
I feel it. The Aquamarine Academy’s barrier. It’s stronger than ever, its magic pouring out. They tie their horses’ reins to a metal garden fence and tap their sides. The male agent gives his mare an apple. I chuckle under my breath. They are making this difficult.
“Go.” The woman orders, keeping her hood on. I take a big breath. I’m afraid of entering these gates again. After all this time, that’s how I greet the magic school again.
“You won’t be following me?” I ask, curious about what they’re planning.. If I find myself inside, I can seek shelter. Somehow get to the palace unseen afterwards. They won’t be able to pass through the barrier uninvited, if they don’t possess magic. That might just be my chance. Is it worth it, though? My temporary survival over the state of my country if I flee? But I really don’t want to return there, empty handed at that. I know the Academy won’t help. I just know it.
“We will. We’ll take a different path.”
I sigh and pass through. There’s something pushing me away from the building. Its towers look intimidating and the previous shine is clouded by the dark energies surrounding the place. Not the city, just the Academy. I braid my hair, calming my nerves, and I dig myself into the coat.
“Princess Norella.” A voice speaks from above, but I see no one. They could have installed magical guards, for all I know.
“I’m here on the behalf of the crown,” I start, keeping my voice steady. “I wish to talk to one of the Fulminare.”
“And why should we let you in?” The voice pierces through me and I feel freezing fingertips tingling the inside of my head. It itches, but I can’t scratch it. They’re inside my mind. “You lie. You came here with the revolution. The anti-monarchy.”
“So what?” I grunt. “I want you to open the gates for those in need. They need shelter.”
“From whom?”
“From the crown and the revolution. Citizens of the capital shall not suffer because of our spat.”
The voice is not here anymore. There’s only the sound of the growing wind. It whistles against the towers, the external corridors and arches. Even the stones and trees here seem to be chanting spells.
The gilded ornate doors open and I am invited in. I can nearly feel a siren-like voice calling me in. They sure are dramatic.
Inside, a woman in her fifties is waiting for me. She is looking straight at me, through the graying hairs of her bangs. “Your Highness. What an honor.”
“Listen. I’m in a difficult position here…” I start. “Have you received any other guests recently?”
The woman smiles. “Maybe I did. Maybe not.”
“I don’t have time for your games. I’m just trying to survive.”
“We all are, Your Highness. However, the stars are telling me the lines are blurry. What is right and what is wrong?”
“Listen, madam,” I approach her and grab her shoulders. “I need to get to the palace. I need to stop these games. You don’t want to let victims in, fine. That’s on you and your conscience. I just need to get away from the revolutionaries. And I’ll make it right.”
The old woman thinks for some time, as my fingers dig into her green tunic. My eyes are teary. “But how? Ever since you disappeared, the prince has overwritten some laws and created policies, concerning not only Malachite but foreigners too.”
I shudder at the thought. “Has he killed people publicly?”
“Indeed. The revolution did not lie to you. The prince is hungry for punishing civilians, thinking they are traitors to the regime. A regime you’re going back to.”
“If you help me return home I won’t sit idly. I will do everything in my power to keep my father and prince at bay. I might as well ask for the Grand Gem’s help. Or yours, officially.”
She hums.
“Please. This is getting out of hand. I’ll make sure no one needs shelter to begin with.” I try one last time. She looks behind her. The immense hall is empty, there is no one there.
“They’re already here, watching. They think they can overpower us with their swords and bombs. But we possess something they don’t.” She whispers in my ear, holding me close. “Magic.”
I gasp, as an arrow strikes right behind me. I look up, and here they are, the agents. I have no clue how they’ve passed through the barrier, but they’re inside and they’ve heard everything I just said. Incriminating, but not as much as they could have hoped. I promised to stop the bloodshed, to help the people, I never said anything about keeping the crown in the family. They don’t have to know that. Let’s hope they bring the right message straight to August.
A huge whirlwind surrounds us. “You have one chance to make this right. Do not let it go to waste.” She shouts through the noise. “Otherwise we will add fire to the war and finish it our way. We don’t care who rules Malachite and we don’t have any loyalty to Calen. Not after all the secrets he buried in the palace.”
I don’t have time to ask questions, when I feel someone’s hands grab me. I’m blinded by a light that besieges the entrance hall. Somehow, the person leading me out seems to know the way. We find ourselves outside the Academy, right beside the royal palace, my home.
“Thank you.” I turn towards the figure, but it’s already gone. “I won’t let you down.”
Somehow, amidst the adrenaline and the light, I understand I might have made a terrible mistake. Once August learns of my partial betrayal, he will probably kill me with his own hands. And I think he'll enjoy it more than putting the Seagraves line in coffins forever. I should stop this warfare and fast. There is a choice I have to make, and I’m not sure I can. For a fleeting moment, I think of West, and grit my teeth. I’ll stay strong. For him.
The Academy gave me one chance to stop the bloodshed, and if it means I have to fight both my brother and the revolution, so be it. I’ll gather my own soldiers, I’ll train my own magic, and then I’ll strike. Somehow. Somehow…
I run towards the castle gates. Nobody is chasing after me, but I still feel their eyes on me. Like evil spirits from the hellscapes of Unseelie Court I was lucky to evade, I feel their presence. I think it’s a feeling I will never be able to forget. I take off my hood, while sprinting.
“Your Highness!” A guard cries out, noticing me. I set my hands on my knees, breathing hard. I hate running, I hate it all.
“Open the gates.,” I command pathetically, still trying to catch my breath from running uphill. “I need to get to the king.” My heart is beating fast
“Of course, but…”
The guard takes my arm and leads me inside, hurrying. “No questions, just let me in and escort me to the king.”
I prefer being accompanied by two grown men, if ever my first meeting with dear Father goes wrong. If Rigel is allowed to execute people, something our nation hasn’t seen for many centuries, Father is not to be trusted with common sense either.
The guard’s colleague nods and leads me inside. The gardeners and servants all look at me, walking in clothes not fit for someone of my standing, their eyes wide, mouths whispering. I pay them no mind for I have one goal - put an end to this. Before the Academy decides to finish the war by their rules. Looking back at what I’ve seen there, they will bear no mercy.
The secrets Father buried in the palace. It’s the second time I hear this phrasing, and something connects. There is no way it’s that easy. Is it not a metaphor, but instead a true object, buried under the castle, or in the gardens? What on earth could it be? And why is this so damn important to Astral, Father and the Fulminare?
Rigel sits at Father’s desk, reading a letter. I cannot see whether it's an official business letter or a private one. My brother gets up and his face pales.
“You…”
“Where is Father?” I ask, waving at the guards to stay here.
This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.
“On business. I thought you left.” He says, nonchalant. His eyes bear nothing but winter, and his clothes, not so different from before, and yet… He dresses as if he were king already. That can’t be. Father is still the rightful ruler, he can’t let Rigel do whatever he wishes.
“I was kidnapped!” My voice quivers under his heavy gaze. “What the Hell is going on in the kingdom? Executions?”
“Ah. You’ve heard.” He smirks, putting down the letter. “I’ve taken the matter in my own hands. Father never did anything of value, and now that our palace is compromised, I’ve… cleared the rats.”
I noticed there were fewer servants in the halls but to think that he…
“What did you do?” I gasp.
“There were everywhere, Norella. I killed them, of course.”
My head is spinning. That cannot be real. This nightmare lasted for too long. It’s time to finish this.
“Tell me exactly where Father is and I’ll tell him to revoke your status. You’re a madman. Killing innocents? Servants that worked for us for years?” I go up to him, knuckles white.
“Who told you they were innocent? Your kidnappers?”
I stop and tilt my head. For weeks Father has not managed to find any spies in the palace, but once you receive the crown, suddenly you find them? No, you’re just playing around with power no one should have. The revolution has nothing to do with this. This is on you.”
“You were always a pain in the ass, but now,” Rigel grits his teeth and approaches me, grabbing my arm. “You insinuate I’m a bad person for doing what must be done.”
He’s clearly trying to manipulate me. Executing people, not even jailing them, is not right, not even if the people were indeed revolutionaries.
“I do not insinuate. I’m telling you straight up to give up your title and let the revolutionaries speak. There is still a chance of peace. Don’t let the power get in your head, Rigel.”
“There can be no peace. Those people are burning our cities, raging chaos all around. They’re the bad ones, I’m the lesser evil here.”
I laugh in surprise. A second later my face turns stone cold.
“Where is Father? I won’t ask again.” I sneer. Rigel lets me go.
“In the city, he’ll be back by dinner.” He says, sitting back. “But it’s all pointless. He agrees with my methods.”
“He would never agree to that.” I slam the door behind me. I breathe in and breathe out, slowly, noticing the palace smells of dried blood. I free the guards, who look just as shocked as I. They leave quietly, not sharing a single glance. There can be peace, if we try hard enough. There can be peace if we just listen to each other, I’m sure of it.
I find Mother in her chambers. She’s watching the city, beneath us, so small. Our palace was built on a hill, letting our ancestors look over their subjects. Now, it became a way to strangle the people from a distance. The feeling of superiority quickly fades once you face the people’s wrath. We failed them, and there’s no one to blame but ourselves. I might change my ways, I might learn, but my parents and brother, they never will. I see it in Mother’s eyes as she turns around.
“Daughter, dear!” She hugs me tight. It pains me to see her like this. I wish I could return her hug. I wish I could cry in her arms for as long as I need, after everything I’ve been through. But things have changed, and things have changed me. I cannot forgive her for standing around, letting Rigel do such atrocities.
“Do you know what’s happening out there?” I ask, still hoping she might see. But her eyes are blank.
“Yes. And it is as it should be.”
“We are slaughtering our own people, how is that right?” I shake my head. Until Father is back, I have nothing but my words at my disposal. And those seem to be weak against the centuries worth of riches and power.
“I’ve told you the story of my palace burning.” She starts. I nod. “I’ve told you how they infiltrated the castle, how they won over my own servants, how they set fire to the place.”
“Yes, I remember.” I try not to scowl. I know she’s hurting.
“I did not just lose my parents that day. I also lost my husband,” My lips part.. “And my newborn.
“They burned the place down while I was away for a postpartum promenade. Servants said it was good for my health. A mother should always care for her well-being before her child’s.”
Something breaks inside of me. Has she ever cared for her firstborn, Norella, at all?
“I never knew if they saved me. I prefer to think it was a matter of chance. Because if they decided to save me, why didn’t they save my daughter instead?”
Her voice breaks. So this is the truth. She had a daughter before. A daughter that died, and by deduction, I now understand I'm the replacement. I might as well look like the newborn from all those years ago. I resemble Mother so much after all. Is this why she hated me so much? Is this why she distanced herself so much from me ever since I could walk? Because the pain was so bad, because somehow I reminded her of what she has lost. Innocence, youth and a child.
“Countries change, Mother.” I whine. “Regimes too. It’s okay to let go of power. It’s okay to bow and let someone else take the lead.”
“The price is too high, Norella.” She speaks as if her mind is far away. Her eyes tell the same story over and over again. I know she’s back at the burning castle, and I know she blames herself for what happened to her family.
“What is the price? How can it be too high? Mothers, grandparents and children’s lives are at stake. As a mother, did you think of the children dying in the streets?” I beg, but she doesn’t answer. She keeps looking outside.
“I’ve always wanted to be queen,” She chuckles. “Always wanted to wear expensive dresses and necklaces. I married your Father because he promised we’d share the burdens. I won’t be a simple consort, but a true queen, if not by blood, then by hard work. During our wedding ceremony he had told me there was a secret buried in the palace. Something nobody can ever see, otherwise the world would turn upside down and everything we love would be lost. It sounded like a prophecy.
“I didn’t think much of it back then. But as years passed, and I got everything I wanted, like kids,” she smiles absentmindedly. “I started to wonder about the secret. I wanted to know. Your father told me I couldn’t open the box, whatever my reasons were, they were not good enough. I did not insist, and then he shared his plan.
“We would lay low, never raise our hand to stop anything, let the country rule itself. We’ll use our first child to warm people’s hearts if that doesn't work. We’d educate her right, we’d make her seem innocent and beautiful, we'd make her speak softly like the spring breeze, and her hand would be gentler than the evening sun.
“We thought that, if we didn’t participate in disagreements with the people, they would never try to find the truth. We thought that we had enough time to think of another way to rule the kingdom without the potential uprisings, based on what happened in my home country. It came too quickly, and we lost the power over people. We lost their support and trust because we didn’t do anything.
“We didn’t stop Peregrine from kidnapping humans and selling them to the Isles. We didn’t stop the market from collapsing due to shortages of trade with the Fae. Everything was so interlinked that we got lost in threads. And now, Rigel takes over because he has the heart for murder. He is not afraid of getting his hands dirty - something we could never do with your father.
“He promised the crown to Rigel because he wanted to save you, Norella. He wanted what any father would want for his daughter - a safe, nice life, without having to take arms. He wanted you to stay forever innocent, and as a mother, I cannot blame him.”
I stood there, as she talked. I could not believe my ears. Every sentence burned my skin and turned my guts around.
“The only thing I want is to talk. You understand? I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to see decapitated knights in the halls of my home. I want to speak to those in power, and make them stop fighting for a second. There must be a way out of this.”
“They are angry, and Rigel sees no option but to fight back. If we give up now, they will find the secret. And then all would be in vain.” Those were her final words. She turned away and continued to look over the burning kingdom.
“They don’t know the box exists. This is such a carefully hidden secret only I, Fae’s queen, you and Father know about it!”
“Their commander, August is his name, he came very close to it. Father destroyed his reputation and fired him.”
“He did what?” I scream. “He made August into the monster he is today because of some old box?”
“I trust my husband, just like you should have.” She mutters.
“I don’t want to hear it. Everything you’ve just explained is nonsense. Coming from you, it makes me sick. Sick, do you hear me? You sat here all day while I was kidnapped, had to kill people because my life was at stake! I had to work closely with the man who killed West!” her head turns to me, eyes wide. “All for your safety. All for you to keep the crown.”
I close the door behind me, before she can say anything. Even when I take a few steps towards my chambers I can still hear her weep. It breaks my heart but not as much as knowing my mother is as flawed as everyone in this wretched family.
----------------------------------------
Father did indeed return for dinner.
I heard the carriage and servants' greetings. I patiently waited in my room all afternoon. Auretta was not at the palace, and my distress grew. Was she killed too? Has Rigel taken a person I’ve known since I was a young girl away from me? I did not dare face him again. I wouldn’t know what else to say. I feel I’ve been repeating the same phrases for months. Peace. Diligence. Help. Treason. Discipline. Education. Duty. These words were my only vocabulary. I kept repeating them like a mantra, biting my nails.
Still in revolution’s rags, I went to the corridor and asked a guard where the king went. The office. I changed soon after. I put on the black dress I bought from the old lady all those weeks ago. I kept the high boots on. I found the clip gem Auretta gave me for protection before the banquet. Put it in my boot. For safekeeping.
Then I went down to the throne room, where dinner would soon take place. The sun has already went down. The palace was dead silent - and I stayed on high alert. Ready to summon fire and thunder at anyone who dared to touch me. I was not scared anymore. Not for me, anyways.
I was sitting on his throne when he arrived. For now, we were alone. The servants had prepared the table, and distributed the plates and utensils. The silver pierced my eyes. I felt nauseous watching the extravagance of my home compared to the revolution’s headquarters.
“Norella?..”
“Surprised?” I don’t get up.
“You were gone for days! I had sent knights to find you but no luck…”
“You didn’t try hard enough.” I don’t stutter this time.
“I’m glad you’re back. I was so worried. I thought I lost you.”
His tone tells me a story so different from what I concluded. He seems hurt. I fight the instinct to hug him.
“So worried, you let Rigel take the reins and execute civilians?” I respond, sipping my wine. I’ve missed its sweetness after a long day. I’ve missed sitting on a chair made for someone of my status. Even if it hurts deep down, I still like it.
“It was wishful thinking to hope you wouldn’t bring that up,” His voice shakes.
“How could I not? My subjects are dying because of some secret and your inadequacy.”
Secret and the lies, is what will kill them. Not the revolution’s bombs, not the hungry mob. Father looks at me as if I betrayed him. It wouldn’t be the first time. Little does he know I did everything to come back here to stop the murders. Little does he know I could never truly betray him.
“The Academy is not on our side,” I start. “They will burn us all down if we don’t stop the revolution. But the revolution won’t stop until we are dead. No matter how much Rigel burns them, they will rise from ash. I see only one option.”
I get up, caressing the thone’s arms with my gloved fingers. The hardwood is cold. Father watches me, unmoving.
“Give the crown to me. Let me start negotiations.” I suggest, trying to keep my voice steady.
“How will you do it?” He asks.
“I will personally go to their headquarters and demand an audience with August. The man you know very well apparently.” I say, approaching the table. “I will listen to them. I will make amends. I will make sure the Academy doesn’t turn on us by promising something they desperately desire. I will kneel before my people and beg for mercy for our misdoings. I will make it alright. Just give me the crown that you promised.”
He doesn’t let his eyes waver - they are stuck on me.
“The revolution will demand our execution. The people will never forgive us.”
“Then I will show them forgiveness is the only option. I will contact Astral to negotiate a new trading accord. I’ll remake the economy from scratch if I have to. I will let children inside the Academy, no matter the numbers, no matter their social status. I will ask Grand Gem countries for help, medicine, food, anything they’re willing to offer.”
“Beautifully said, for someone who has no idea how tangled our situation is.”
“That’s the thing, Father, I do not care how difficult it might be to detangle all the shit you’ve put us into. I am the only one willing to do something. I’m the one who spent her life training to bear that burden.”
“To detangle all that, you’ll have to learn the secret.” Father says, his voice low. That’s when Mother comes in. She is followed by Rigel, who seems to be in a foul mood. “But I do not trust anyone with the truth.“So no, Norella, you will not have the crown. Because you are not worthy of the truth.”
“I am not worthy?” I roar, my vision blurring for a second. “Mother told me everything! Told me I was raised to win over hearts, to bring peace in moments of chaos and when the opportunity finally arises, you push me away like I’m illegitimate?”
Father slams his hands on the table, gritting his teeth. I’ve never seen him this angry, even when I told him about West. He seems to be on the verge of tears. Angry ones. The ones you shed when nothing else works. Mother takes his hand, but he pushes her away.
“You will not speak this way to your king!”
“I deserve the crown more than Rigel!” I scream, taking the knife from the table. I race towards him and point it to his throat. Father’s breath hitches. “The crown is mine by right!”
“Norella, what is wrong with you?!” Mother cries out. Spica hides behind Mother’s cloak. In the peripheral, I notice her small trembling hands. I didn’t even know she was here. Usually she isn’t that silent when something bothers her.
“I will not yield to your commands, Father. I will save our people and our home, with or without your approval!” I shout. “I will seek out the truth and end this circus once and for all!”
He grabs my hand, knife still menacingly too close to the exposed skin of his neck. There are flashes of the fateful night, West’s blood and the choking sounds. I never thought I’d threaten my own father with such tactics, but I see no other way. This has been going for far too long. The Academy won’t wait for us to settle scores, they will attack everyone. And they will prevail; because I know how much power they harbor inside those walls.
“I’m exiling you to the distant forests.” He drawls. Mother gasps. “You will never bear the crown’s burden. You will never learn the truth because only the rightful heir can open the box. You are not it. Rigel is. And when time is right he will know. But not you. She never said anything about you being a girl! An emotional wreck at that!”
I gasp, taking a step back, letting the knife fall. The sharp metal clanks on the marble floor. He did not just say these things. Who is he? Who is this man? Has fear made him completely mad? Is this a twisted love he’s showing? No way. I won’t go down without a fight.
“Why are you so damn afraid of people finding out? What can it be? A prophecy of the apocalypse? A love letter between mortal enemies? How bad can it be?!”
“I made an oath, and you cannot uphold it. So you will leave and be allowed to come back only after the situation settles down. This is for your safety.” He speaks like a king and for a moment I feel I have to obey. He is the absolute power, and I am but a subject of his will. “But if you disobey, you will be punished. You will be hurt, Norella.”
“Calen, what is wrong with you?” Mother blurts out, keeping her distance. I hear Spica sob.
“You could certainly try.” I snarl, my hands burning. There is fire appearing, threatening to burn through my gloves.
“Father, look out!” Rigel pushes me to the ground, now standing between Father and me. I get up, but my concentration faltered and the flames disappeared. I breathe hard, shaking my head quickly. Madness. Utter madness. I wasn’t going to attack him. This is not who I am. This isn’t…
The whole situation becomes a blur. Two knights I interviewed come into the throne room to escort me out. I can hear Mother’s pleas, but Father responds to none. I walk, chin up, hands behind my back. On the inside, however, I am breaking apart. Yet, again, I’ve failed. I’ve done everything peaceful now. There is no other way to prevent bloodshed. They know everything about my plans, and I know none of theirs.
We arrive at the carriage, its windows tinted. It’s parked beside the tall pines and flower beds. Snapdragons. I swallow down a sob. I go to the backseat obediently. A guard comes running, saying something to Lady Yele and Sir Crescent.
Only when the carriage is out of the city do I look behind. Feeling of impending doom overwhelms me and I cry out, “No, get me back! They will die! Everyone will die if we don’t stop fighting! The Academy will attack, and they will kill them all!”
No matter my screams, the knights sit straight. Their eyes on the road, as they drive me away from the capital. It disappears from view, the industrial scenery replaced by a thick forest. It’s nighttime, and the road’s barely visible. Dangerous and stupid. He couldn’t even wait until dawn. He must have been suffocating by my presence. Just like I was by him.
The gleaming screen shows our destination. My very own personal prison. I ache in my soul; my fingers are cold, even though I’m wearing gloves. Bumps on the road remind me I’m still in the same place, the same carriage. I feel like every time I’ve been faced with danger, I miraculously survived, but was never strong enough to complete a task. I was weaker than Kaytus when they bombed the castle. I was weaker than Peregrine, Kaytus had to save me, time and time again, and if I ever meet him again, he’ll demand an acquittal. I was weaker than August’s agents, without Fulminare’s help I’d be dead. That arrow would have pierced my heart. I was weaker than the king and his heir, so I’m being sent away.
For your safety.
I never managed to do anything, I only thought about it. I talked about it, but my words held no power. I acted powerful. I lied. I lied, thinking I might confound my way to the goal. Nobody took my threats seriously, nobody listened.
There must be something I could still do. There might be a chance, I just have to seek it out. I may be driving to the most remote place in Malachite, but it doesn’t mean I’ll be stuck there forever. Father said until the situation settles. Settles how? When Rigel kills more than half of our population? When August is publicly executed? When the Academy burns the palace to the ground and establishes their own hold on my homeland?
In an hour we arrive in the darkest part of neighboring vast forests. In the past, they were used for firewood, to build homes and keep them hot. Now, as magic permits us to heat ourselves without burning down forests, it’s left untouched, regrowing. At least Nature is healing itself.
Why did Nature’s spirits grant me this power, if I cannot save my family? Why give me this, if I cannot save my kingdom?
I feel a tingle in my toes and fingers, something calling to me. It might be the forest spirits, sensing a visitor. I wish I could ask them for help.
When we stop, I notice another carriage followed us here. Sir Christian steps out of it, looking sickly worried. I get out too, stretching my legs.
“Your Highness!” He runs to me, checking if I’m alright.
“That is not my title anymore, I suppose.” I gulp. In the dark, I notice a small cottage in the middle of the woods. It seems old, but still standing. My feet drag through the mud as I make my way to my temporary home. Christian is behind me, breathing steadily.
“You will always be my crown princess.” He responds. I lift my eyebrows in surprise. “We’ll find a way to get you out of here soon, trust me.”
“What about your orders?”
“My orders are to make sure you stay away from the castle,” He says, putting his hand on my back. “If what you said is true, if you can find a way to stop this madness, then you can do it without stepping foot in the castle.”
“Then bring me a book on long distance spell casting and rituals. I want it by dawn.”
I push the front door and it creaks loudly. I wince. I won’t leave unnoticed, that’s for sure. I glance at Christian, who holds his helmet close to the heart. His armor shines under the moonlight and reminds me of simpler times.
“It will be done, Your Highness.”
“Now go. Do not share this information with anyone.”
----------------------------------------
To think Father would be stupid enough to send me out here, thinking I’d bow like I always did, makes my bones screech. But to think that a father would send his daughter away because she was willing to help, that is beyond the word ‘hurt’. It touches something I thought would be easy to bury - love. I love him. I’ve always loved him, ever since I met him. Ever since my first words, and first failures and accomplishments, I loved him dearly. Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn’t die for him, not because he is my king, but because he is my dad.
I often believed that every angry word, every mean punishment bestowed on me was for my own good. He taught me discipline, something the city desperately lacked - he always said. I repeated. I carved those lessons on my skin, in my blood. And yet, something broke in me when West passed. Something that had a taste of bitter betrayal and sweet liberation. I’ve never felt happier, as when I changed into comfortable pants and blouse and went to cook my revenge in the Academy. I also never felt worse, as when I looked behind, and instead of West, I saw his killer.
In a way, all of us were West’s demise. I never got over it. Never got the time to properly mourn him - there wasn’t even a funeral, when I could have put my hand on the closed coffin and wept. I couldn’t start the grieving process, and now I was forcing myself to finish it.
I open the door, meeting Christian’s gaze. He holds out the book I’ve asked for. I thank him, while sneaking a peek outside. There are five knights, including him, to protect the perimeter; if only they knew I am willing to do things a princess should never even think about, just to be free again.
What is freedom to me, anyway?
I ask myself that question as I sit on the wooden floor, crossed legged. I put the heavy tome on the ground and started going through it. Lines and words blur, and I know I am crying. Not because I am sad, but because I’ve been ridiculed, again and again, I’ve been insecure and shamed. I search for that one ritual, the one I’ve heard about. The one demanding blood.
My lips are parted, as I breathe through my mouth, whispering the chapter titles, searching, searching, forever searching. It must be here. It’s a dangerous ritual, but there is no other way.
What is my freedom?
Here. It is here. I push the book to the left, summoning a knife. It quickly appears in front of me, glowing the same purplish tone. I grab it and slice my wrist. It hurts and it is dangerous, but the ritual demands borders and blood, and I need it to succeed. So there will be no chalk or salt. It will be painted in fresh royal blood, filled with powerful magic and rage.
My index and middle finger slide against the floor, painting a circle. Inside, red runes and symbols from the book. I follow every step perfectly, just like I was taught. I let Nature take a hold of me, letting it enter my body, letting its power control the graceful violence of my hands’ movement.
I sit in the middle, feeling my body floating. Slowly, my surroundings turn dim, and soon, are gone for good. I am void and void is me. Now, I can start.