Night fell quickly. I ate dinner on the kitchen counter. Kaytus prepared mashed potatoes and steak. It tasted like freedom and inner peace. I thanked him for the food, not caring enough to make small talk. He didn’t burn with desire to exchange words with me either. It made me a bit giddy to eat such delicious food before going to bed. I would sleep on the armchairs, put together to pull a makeshift bed.
I acted normal, even washed the plates, for the sake of being polite. Kaytus prepared the house for the night, closing the front door, locking the windows, blowing out candles.
I had no place for doubt, I had to complete my task, and I did not need extra-baggage.
When Kaytus fell asleep, I got up, looking at the extinguished fireplace. He never mentioned lending me his bed, and I didn't push the idea. I’ve slept in much worse places. At least it was warm, while it lasted.
I go up the stairs, careful to make as little noise as I can. I played with the piece of parchment until I arrived at the door. His room. I hoped he’d lock it at least, but no, it opened as I turned the knob.
He lays there, shirtless, lower body hidden under the heavy blanket. He looks ethereal. I can’t deny it. I prance forward, holding the paper close. When I’m at the edge of the bed, I take a breath and put the paper beside him.
I join my hands and roll my eyes back, imagining the nightmares. It consumes me - the pain, the desperate shouts, sounds of breaking nails and vomit. I imagine what I’d do to him. In my head the vision was easy. My imagination created such hellish scenes, I had to hold my hands tighter not to lose focus. I have never trained in this field at the Academy. Only Fulminare were allowed to read such spellbooks. But when the spies started their coup, I trained on my own. I read through the forbidden tomes, I engraved the runes in my mind, keeping them hidden until the opportune moment. Right now.
Kaytus curls in the bed, then starts throbbing. His whole body pulsates. I thought the effects would last longer, but he opened his green eyes, staring directly at me.
Startled, I take a few steps back, ready to run. Kaytus is dreadfully calm, as he sits on the edge of the bed. Then he smiles.
“Entropy. Bravo,” he says, merely amused.
“How did you?..” My mind screams for me to run. So I do. I turn around on my heels and sprint to the stairs, through the hall, outside. He locked the door. I hear footsteps and start to panic. I look around, for a way out. The window is my only chance. But when I arrive to the living room and grab the iron rod to break the glass, my hand is grabbed.
“I was trained to withstand such amateur tactics,” he breathes down my neck. I shiver, breathing hard. “You couldn’t have just escaped, you had to make me see visions, for the sake of petty revenge.”
I let go of the rod and it clunks loudly on the floor. He lets go of my hand and I turn around, pushing myself against the wall. He’s in large pants, barefoot and shirtless. I hold my breath.
“We will never get along, will we?” He muses, turning around and taking a step to the hallway. A second later he is against me, his hand on my neck. He chokes the air out of me. I don’t struggle, I let him prove whatever he wants to prove.
“The line between working together and forgiveness is very thin,” I manage through gritted teeth. “And I will not forgive you.”
“I won’t forgive you either, Norella.” He says my name like a title, his voice deep and raw from the sudden wake up call. “What can we do about it?”
I close my eyes, feeling cornered, quite literally. “Get over ourselves.”
He tilts his head and his eyes dart to my lips for a mere second. “Exactly. Get over your emotions.”
“Get over yours first. If you think I believe your sob story about not being loyal to August anymore…” I huff.
“I am not!” He shouts to my face.
“You f-” I stop myself. “You sleep with him. This kind of bond is not so easily destroyed.”
“What gave us away?” He snarls, pushing his hand further. I gasp for air, and this time my hands find his. I send a shockwave through and he hisses, letting me go. I run to the kitchen and grab the first thing I touch. I lift the pan and dare him to come closer.
“I was at your base, using a phantom blood ritual,” I say, striking him with the kitchenware. He blocks my ‘weapon’ and throws it away. I grab another thing, throwing it into his chest. It was a glass, full of utensils. They scatter on the ground. He looks down and up and growls. “I saw you intimate, kind of,” I cry out, grabbing a cutting board. It’s heavy and I barely lift it up.
He doesn’t move, awaiting my next move. I groan in pain and throw it at him. It doesn’t touch him at all and breaks upon the fall. Kaytus runs to me, grabbing me by the hair, pushing me against the shelves. I cry out in pain and summon a miniature water whirlwind, hitting him in the face.
I use the momentum to punch him in the face and run back to the living room. I throw a fireball into the fireplace and slide on the ground, to put the iron rod inside. He is already beside me, a knife to my throat. I am not afraid. I am not afraid. I am not afraid.
I grab the rod and hit the man’s face with it. He howls and falls back. I get up, throwing the rod back to the fireplace. It puffs smoke. We stare at each other, breathless.
“So yeah, you still love him.” I finish what I started.
He wipes the grim off his face. The rod wasn’t as hot to leave a burn mark, but heavy enough to leave a bruise in the future.
“It was never about love, silly girl,” he chuckles, pushing his hair back. “It was just sex.”
I open my mouth but the only sound that leaves is a tiny squeak. Oh. Oh.
“I… I did not… think of that?” I try to keep a semblance of dignity.
“You clearly didn’t.”
He turns around and leaves. I run after him and grab his hand. “Can I trust you on this?”
He throws me an annoyed look. I realize how that sounds. I mentally slap myself.
“ I apologize for trying to fry your brains,” I whine. “I will not do it again.”
“Yes, you can trust me. Can I trust you?”
I do not hesitate this time. “Yes. Save the kingdom, settle scores, we part ways and never seek revenge on the other.”
“Good girl.”
And then he goes up the stairs. I hear him locking the room. I huff, shrugging away the adrenaline. How am I going to sleep now?
The next morning Kaytus led me away from the suburban area, into a town not far from his cottage. The sun shone brightly, but there was no warmth there. I hugged myself, putting on the cloak he gave me to keep warm.
In the small town, Kaytus rented two horses for a few days. The stables smelled of scat and hay. I pinched my nose, as the spy grabbed two reins, leading our steeds to the street. I thanked the groom and left hurriedly. I loved these strong and vicious animals, but sometimes the smell was too much for my weakened stomach.
Starvation hasn’t been pretty on me, I lost too much weight these past weeks. Kaytus readied the bridle and saddle. He helped me up and clicked his tongue, the colt blew and snorted at me. I gently caressed its mane and gave it a small kiss on the head. It neighed.
“How long until we reach the palace?”
“No more than three hours.”
Shouts from the distance startle the horses. I hold tighter, looking for the source. I notice a crowd gathering in front of a mansion, with torches and hayforks. They chanted in harmony, their anger evident. I am unable to turn away.
“What are they doing?” I ask. Kaytus settles on the saddle, back straight, hands on the reins.
“Protesting. The nobles living here stole all the provisions under false pretenses and now, when it came to light, still refuse to give them back to the farmers.”
“I cannot believe my eyes…” I whisper.
“You will have to deal with these once the crown is yours.”
“People protest here, but not in Argenis?”
“Argenis is inhabited only by nobles or the bourgeoisie, of course they don’t protest.”
I think I would have gotten off my horse and run there, joined the protest and would have called out the noble family for their crime. But I have no time to lose, so I lead the horse to the side gates.
We ride to the North.
----------------------------------------
We passed meadows and fertile fields. Everything smelled nice here. At some point we stopped to give horses time to drink and catch their breath. Kaytus seemed to care a lot about animals, at least the ones who transported him somewhere. I didn’t know his opinion on cats, and we were way too unfriendly to have this conversation. Servants at the palace talked, saying that the way a man treats animals is the way he treats a woman. Many inconsistencies, but I suppose I see where they were going with this. They were wrong, however, as Kaytus was a murderer and a liar, and still was very gentle with horses. I wish I could tell the servants that, for the sake of gossip.
We continued our journey to the capital fifteen minutes later, at a much slower pace. Horses seemed tired from galloping. Kaytus seemed to communicate well with them, it’s as if he understood them. For me, the horse neighs because it has to make a sound, but to him, the horse just recited the religious writings from the Empire of Wind’s period.
Kaytus wasn’t prone to conversation, while I was too mad to talk about myself. He made it clear that he didn’t want to listen to my stories. I did that all the time with West - talked and talked, rarely asking him about his day. I remember not being aware. Of life. My impact on his job. Now that he is buried somewhere in the Isles, I have nothing left but regrets. Next time, I will ask, and take things into consideration, because that’s what true love is.
When Kaytus threw the knife and pierced the shadowguard’s artery, something broke inside of me, but the veil disappeared from my eyes. I saw the world for what it was - and it scared the living shit out of me. Now I ride beside the man who killed my friend, and more, - who rides beside the princess who killed his, in return. I guess, in some way, we are equals.
I don’t dare share my thoughts, not when everything is so recent. Maybe one day, if I don’t exile Kaytus out of spite, I’ll tell him about it.
Argenis, the royal city, stands before us, its horrifying splendor taking my breath away. Each time I return here, I’m different. My insides change out of my control. I don’t dare think of who I will be once I come back as queen. Kaytus passes our horses to the grooms at the stables, and throws me a waterskin. Water refreshes my dry throat and I nod, as thanks.
Nothing seems to be out of order. The gates are open, carriages leave, people go in and out - life goes on. I notice the lavish clothes people are wearing.
We take the deserted streets, we hide in the shadows of buildings, to avoid any guards recognizing me. Early afternoon’s bells ring when we arrive at the highest point of the hill. The main gates to our right are being patrolled. No one gets in and nobody leaves.
We hide behind a large oak.
“So what’s the plan?” I turn to the spy, whose hands are in his bag, trying to reach for something.
“Magic cloaking, we climb like last time and you sniff the secret out,”
“I don’t really need you for that.” I roll my eyes.
The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.
“You do more than you know. I’ll be on the lookout. I suppose your magic won’t last forever?”
“I’m becoming quite proficient in this!” I hiss, settling myself more comfortably on the ground. That’s a blatant lie. I’m losing control more than anything. My anger engulfs me.
The ground is cold. Winter is coming at a fast pace, reminding me of the next fight. Getting the crown is merely a beginning. There is so much to be done yet, and I am blind. Without a guiding hand of advisors I will not save this country from starvation. Agriculture won’t fix itself if workers riot, too.
“Let’s not try out your limits. You’re my ticket to the castle.”
“So you do have an agenda,” Kaytus glances at me, and with a swift motion, takes out a small instrument, like a needle.
“I do. But it’s not essential to the plan. Once you get the secret, you get out, wait for me. I’ll go to Rigel’s office and take something very valuable to him.”
“What? No, no, that wasn’t part of the plan! I am not getting caught in some revenge plan.”
“Who says it’s revenge?” He sits by my side, pointing to the stables. “The thing is, Rigel is a madman, has to be. Throwing you in the cell without food or water… he must be desperate to get rid of any opposition. That means - sooner or later he will unleash the army he’s been gathering to attack cities. Ask for their allegiance, like a tyrant does.”
“And you know this because you’re a spy,” I say, half-believing him. “So why the tiny needle?”
“I’ll pickpocket the lock to the office and I’ll try to find any document Rigel signed, maybe asking other countries for help. I doubt it, though.”
“Yeah, he is like Father, too proud to ask anyone. I wonder if Mother has something to do with this.”
Kaytus’s eyes scan me. Sun rays dance on his gray hair. I always thought the ends of his hair were blonde, but now they appear white as early snow. “Falke is known as the peacekeeper in Malachite. She won’t allow Rigel to tyranny his way to gain peoples’ so called support. I’d call it forced cooperation.”
“You certainly don’t know my mother. She was passive from the very start.” I sigh.
There’s a pause. A few soldiers walk way too close to us for comfort, but don’t sense our presence. I put the cloak on, but they could easily pierce it if they have the Academy on their side. I can never know what machinations are happening right under my nose. I peek at Kaytus, who is sitting still, it seems like he’s not even breathing.
“Did you betray August officially?” I ask, and realize it sounds stupid.
Kaytus chuckles in surprise and tilts his head. “No, I just left. It might give me some advantage in the future. If they think I’m on their side, I’ll be able to learn valuable info.”
“And whose side are you on, then?” I ask, closing up to him.
“Mine.”
“And the crown?” The man sits back, lying on his elbows, as if he was at home. Undeniably, I feel comfort when he does so - acts like he’s sure everything will work out. He had told me once that he can escape any situation with this sword and wit. I believed him.
“I’ve never been a fan of monarchy, per se, but if you take it, we might have a chance at peace, equality, better economy etcetera. I’m still more inclined to give it to the people. But it will take time, and I have a feeling the unrest will kill Malachite before we come up with a government of our own.”
“Time is of essence, yes, but -”
Kaytus jerks his hand to my lips, checking the area. He gets on his knees and signals me to do the same. A guard yawns. I turn my head, confused. Kaytus points to the street. Suddenly, a carriage appears from the avenue. It’s built like a truck, farmer property. It’s muddy and doesn’t fit with the capital’s aesthetic. That is not according to plan.
“You know what this is?” Kaytus smiles.
“A truck.”
He flashes me a million sepha smile. “That’s not just any truck. It’s provisions. And seeds to be grown in the palace’s gardens. I recognize the icon, it’s from a farmer’s village not far from here.”
“And why is this important?” I move his hand further away from my face.
“One reason: Rigel might use planting crops as an excuse to dig for the secret.”
I close my mouth, deliberating. “Would that mean Father died and didn’t have time to share the secret’s location with Rigel?”
“Probably yes. Or Rigel is tired of waiting and wants to dig it up now. Using crops as an excuse. If I’m right, the farmers in the truck are no farmers at all, but some kind of agents he hired.”
“Rigel hiring mercs? Please. He has knights and the royal guard, why bother?” I groan.
“All is pointing to the king being alive.”
“Hiring his own force to dig up the secret? That’s far-fetched.”
“He is as obsessed with the box as you are. How far are you willing to go to learn what your father has hidden 34 years ago?”
“How do you know when it happened?”
“August dug it up and shared it with me when we first met.”
Damn.
“You know your stuff,” I chuckle. “Anyways. Can we go in now, before Rigel steals it from right under our noses.”
“But something doesn’t add up,” he bows his head. “The king would have seen holes in the ground, he would know Rigel is up to no good, hurrying fate. That must mean Rigel is either very desperate or the king is bedridden.”
“Enough theories, I don’t need to know what happens there. I just want to grab the box and leave!” I hiss, taking his hand to put the invisible spell on both of us.
We stand at the greenhouse, hidden by the shade under the trees.
“There is a terrible truth buried here. Father had once demanded I keep it to myself once time came.”
“How bad can it be? He is willing to die for some old box,”
“We’ll find out.”
I breathe in, filling my lungs with much needed fresh air and let all my shackles go. I let the energies come back softly, like a whisper at first, caressing my fingers, then my throat, then my chest. When it’s at its climax, I open my eyes and put my hands onto the ground, digging my fingers into the moisty earth.
I feel the water underneath my fingers, somewhere deep, running under the hill. I feel the stones, hard and old, at the base of the building. I feel nature, all of it, every piece, creating an image. In this image, I visualize something foreign. An object that is not supposed to be here.
Kaytus winces, but it doesn’t destabilize me. I’m so close.
“You can do it,” he whispers in my ear. I shiver. A reminder to punch him the next time he does that.
I keep my eyes closed, trying to keep the vision close in my mind’s eye. It’s here, I know it. I feel it, searching for me in turn.
“How does this even work anyway?” He asks.
“It’s like a big encyclopedia in my head. I could do nearly anything, if I put my mind to it, but first I have to find the right chapter.” I explain as quickly as I can
.
Then, a flash of light, I open my eyes, but nothing’s changed. Kaytus is still standing beside me, watching. I close my eyes again, and see a light - it calls to me. It’s on my left, and as I turn, it becomes brighter. I crawl toward it. I hear Kaytus’s light steps following close.
When the light becomes unbearably hot and bright, I open my eyes. “It’s here.”
Kaytus kneels and puts his hand on the ground. He flinches, and I raise my brows. “What?”
“You flinched.”
“You must have hallucinated, now hurry!”
I summon a shovel, the sturdiest in Malachite. It floats in front of us and he grabs it by the handle. He starts digging, pushing me away. I stare at him, certain about what I saw. He felt the earth and it struck him. I’m not seeing things.
“Do you perhaps possess magic?” I attempt. He doesn’t even glance at me and continues digging.
The cloaking is taking too much of my energy. He was right, I wouldn’t be able to do this alone - I would have been spotted.
A sudden clunk - and Kaytus’s face brightens. “Must be it.” He throws the shovel and starts digging with his bare hands. His nails turn black from all the dirt, and old calluses are hidden by the mud. I join in.
Our nails scrape the other’s hands, as we unearth a rectangular box. Kaytus puts it on the ground, wiping sweat from his brow. I’m glowing with relief as I touch the box. It’s smooth, made of wood, but so polished, it shines. Dirt seems not to stick to its surface, and I clean it off easily.
“Now, you wait outside. I’ll be right back.” He passes me the box. I take his hand, my eyes locked with his.
“Let’s go, please. Don’t risk it.” He is about to say something but voices are coming from around the greenhouse. At this exact moment, certainly due to high stress, I feel the cloak start to disappear.
“Go!” He hisses and pushes me away, running to the back entrance of the palace. I curse under my breath. I don’t know if it’s lack of trust in him, or my own dumb curiosity, but I run after him, fighting to keep the cloak intact.
I feel it tugging on my lungs, my intestines, crawling its little phantom hands deep inside me. When magic is being overused, it responds quickly. It doesn’t let you have another five free minutes, it’s shouting in your ears, begging you to stop. But I can’t, I have to make sure we won’t be spotted. Not when we already have what we need the most.
Kaytus runs through the dark corridors, we pass the kitchens and they are empty. He knows I followed, but shows no signs of bother. I take it as a silent agreement to follow through his plan together.
I can barely see, that’s how dizzy the lack of magic is making me. The cloak holds on, but it feels like I’m losing oxygen. I’ve been underwater for too long, I have to get up to the surface and take a breath, but…
But he needs to get to the office, so we will get to the office. I pray it will be enough for him to trust me.
Guards turn their heads towards us, but they don’t move, proving my theory right. My magic is still holding on, even though I’m on the brink of passing out. Kaytus turns around and grabs my hand, leading me upstairs. I try to keep my eyes focused, but it’s all becoming blurry. Years of training and yet a little stress and life or death situation push me down. I keep going, though. My feet slide against the marble, but I move them rhythmically, following Kaytus’s speed.
In front of us, the royal office. I gasp for air, holding the box close to my chest. I feel the air leave my lungs and I crumble on my knees, feeling the magic pull my hair, ripping my scalp to shreds.
“Enough, end the spell,” Kaytus gulps, opening the door. It’s locked, so he has to use the bobby pin and a needle.
I move my head, waving my hand. He groans and hurries. “If.. If he’s in there, we’ll have to be invisible.”
“You are not an infinite well, Norella, stop this right now.” He shout-whispers, finally opening the door.
I crawl inside, sitting on the floor, head against the door. Kaytus kneels and holds my chin up with his thumb. “There is no one here. Let go.”
I do and the weight and whistling inside my ears dissolve. I breathe through my mouth, a hand to my chest.
“Good, you did good.” He sighs and paces to the desk. He goes through the documents, his brows meeting above his slim nose. I watch him work, as I rest. It’s a horrifying experience, to continue asking for magic where there is none. Nature punishes harshly those who overstep its boundaries.
“Here it is. I was right. The army he is gathering are mercs, not the knights. He will use the rest of the treasury to buy them and put a strict regime. That’s exactly what we need.”
“Why do we need this?”
“How will you overthrow the crown prince, without a title, while being officially exiled? This. People will see you as their savior; Norella, that’s what you need the most.” He explains, while helping me stand up. I cough, realizing I’ve made noise. I look at Kaytus like a deer at headlights.
His face stays calm as he grabs my hand. “I’ll need you to make the cloak again. I’m sure you can do it.”
“I don’t need your validation,”
“Have you learned nothing at the Academy? That’s exactly how magic works in humans.”
I scowl, confused, but obey.
We run, not caring if our steps make noise. Wind whooshes by the patrols, but we’re already gone. This time, I’m calmer, a little more hopeful. Kaytus was right to get this document. That might save me a very awkward speech, trying to prove Rigel was the problem all along. It has his signature and stamp - this is too easy.
The spy helps me up the wall, then climbs himself. Looking around, we run towards the only safe place we can think of. The stables, where we left our horses. We are muddy and dirty, smelling of old grass and leaves, mixed with moisture. Perhaps, that’s why nobles start throwing us looks when I stop the spell.
Their lush dresses and hats, they all remind me of why I’m running for my life. I used to wish for a life like this - out in the open, walking around the city with my beloved, and be carefree.
I’m running so the people, no matter how undisciplined and poor, can live free. No fear. No executions. No riots. That’s why I’m running, holding Kaytus’s hand.
----------------------------------------
I get on my horse with some difficulty. We don’t speak as we leave the city. Only when we’re far away, I hear bells ringing, the ones I’ve never heard before, which could symbolize only one thing - Argenis is now on high alert. Rigel must have seen the hole - maybe he even sensed the foreign magic was gone. If he even could do that. He was closer to Father on many levels. I wonder if the king told him more about the origin of the box.
In any case, we hold the very thing that Rigel, Mother and Father want. That’s some bargaining chip. I wonder why I never felt its presence before. Can it be activated somehow? What kind of magic is this, even? Some laws should be followed, even by Nature, if this box is tainted or enchanted, it must have been emitting the energy I felt for thirty four years. Why has no one ever found it?
Ridiculous. If this ends up being a false lead, a way to send me away from the true secret, I'm going to burn the palace down as it is.
Only when the gravel road turns to grass, do we stop and get off the horses. We tie the reins to the nearest tree.
“Alright, let’s open it.” Kaytus nods, as I put the box on the ground. It shimmers with an eerie light, as if calling to us. I have this irresistible urge to break it, to burn it - and I don’t comprehend why. Kaytus glances at me and my body shivers at the suspense.
“Open it.” I say, trying to hide my trembling hands. He snickers, putting his hands on the edges of the box.
“To hell with it.” And it clicks open. No additional lock, no protection from intruders. Why? Why is it so easy?
On the inside lies a simple scroll. It’s in perfect condition. White as snow, with no signs of aging, of any kind of deterioration. Kaytus scowls, taking it from its grave. I wonder if what we’ll find will prove Father right - apocalypse, end of everything we hold dear. I let those thoughts poison me with twisted thrill, as the spy slowly opens the scroll.
He reads it, his eyes darting from left to right, with each line, they widen a bit more. I approach him, trying to get a closer look. The language it’s written in - I have seen something resembling it, but it’s a distant memory. Maybe at the Academy… Of course, it’s what those tutors wrote their notes in. It’s Fae language. Unknown by humans - too difficult for our brains to comprehend, apparently. Or maybe it was just a lie, like many other things I’ve been told.
“You can read Fae?”
“Yes,” Kaytus answers quietly. “It’s a treaty. A treaty to hide the magic’s true source in humans.”
I watch the paper in Kaytus’s hand. His fingers tremble slightly, but enough for me to worry. “Magic was gifted to humans by an old god. Someone made a deal, that one day magic will overpower its hosts. The approximate time was eight hundred years.”