We walk in silence. I have no idea how to interact with Liina now. It's not like before. She's not a debtor I need to repay. Or someone I temporarily have to obey. She literally owns me. No questions asked. I'm property.
I fucking chose to be property.
What do I do with myself now, knowing that?
Still in shock, we arrive at some building, a good distance away from the guild. It looks like some sort of apartment building. We climb up to the second floor, and Liina unlocks the door with a key. Then we go inside, and with a word, a few magical lamps slowly buzz to life. It... looks like a condo. After the entrance, it widens out into a couple of rooms.
I almost bump into Liina when she stops short and turns back to me.
“Alright, first: ground rules.” I shudder. She's already setting rules for me? What is she going to make me do? I didn't make a mistake, did I? She's not actually going to be incredibly harsh, is she?!
With my breath hitching up in panic, Liina says, “Take off your shoes when you come inside. I won't have you tracking mud all around my house.”
I blink stupidly. Shoes? Mud? I find myself bobbing my head like an idiot and removing my shoes while I'm still trying to wrap my reeling mind around things.
Leaving them behind in the entryway, I follow Liina into the condo. “Number two:” she points into the kitchen with something that looks a lot like a refrigerator. They're basically magic-powered ice-boxes, they had them in the back at the tavern. They even use 'fridge' as a loan word for them. “If you finish something in the fridge, tell me so I can get more.”
I keep nodding. Why does it feel like I'm moving in with a roommate, rather than someone who owns me now?
Then she stops, standing with her hands on her hips in the middle of the area that looks like the living room. All it's missing is a TV. She looks around, uncertain for a moment. But then she speaks up. “You aren't really a pet, but... Number three: no destroying the furniture.”
Don't mess up the furniture...?
Has she... never had a slave before?
Suddenly perking up, she says, “Right, your slave duties.” Oh no, now she's getting to the bad stuff... I was set off guard the the seemingly normal start, so I'm totally not prepared...
She starts putting up fingers as she lists them. “You will make sure the house is clean every day before going out, and before going to bed. You will cook the meals unless I tell you otherwise. You will open the door for any guests that arrive.”
Why does it sound like I'm going to be her maid? “If I make a request, you must fulfill it. That's just part of being a slave in general, but it's still worth saying. So if I say I want to take a bath, you have to fill it for me.” Ok...? Like she said, I thought obeying orders was like, part of being a slave...
Picking up again, I cringe at her words this time. “You will not have money, unless I give it to you to buy something. On that note, give me your money.” Shoulders shaking her first unfair order, I pull out all my money. The leftover coins after giving most of it to Keane, and the three gold I made from the quest. I reluctantly hand them to Liina.
“Good. Don't worry, if you ask me for something, I'll buy it for you as long as it's reasonable.” She... she will? No, what if she doesn't think something I want is reasonable? Then I just... can't have it? Because I can't have money of my own to buy anything? My heart sinks. Yeah, this is more what I was expecting... This is where the limits on my freedom start to come out...
“Next... you will come on my quests with me, obviously.” Head still down, I nod.
“Ah, and that. I know you've never been a real slave before, so this one is important. You will address me as 'Master.'” I flinch. Do I... really have to call her that? “Come on, say it for me now.”
I swallow hard and close my eyes. My entire body shivers, then I say it. “Master.”
“Come on, loud enough that I can actually hear you.”
My face goes red with shame. “M-Master.”
“That's better. Remember, when I give you instructions, you have to give me a clear 'yes, Master.'” Then she puts out a hand, and I quiver.
Eyes squeezing closed. “Y-yes, M-master...”
“Could... use some work. But you have to do it. It'll cause problems if you call me by name, you know?” It will? Why? She obviously spots my confusion, because Liina explains, “If people see a slave calling their master by name, it reflects poorly on the master and the slave. People will treat us badly if they don't see you giving me the proper respect. They'll think you're a bad slave, and I'm a sloppy master.”
“O-oh...” When she gives me a look, I flinch a little. “Y-yes, Master.”
“Good. Now, what else...” She thinks aloud, “Mom always said it's the master's job to take care of a slave, to be the slave's anchor, and be worthy of their devotion...”
Then she suddenly spins to point at me again. “I saw Panic Disorder listed in your Status. I guess that's understandable with what you're going through. That's why, when you feel like something is wrong, you have to tell me, so you don't panic and explode like you did during that quest.”
I... have to tell her when I feel like something's wrong? Like what? I try to ask, but...
“Come on,” she urges me on when she sees me hesitating.
“I-I don't understand. What do you mean, when I feel like something is wrong?”
She cocks her head to the side. “I mean when you're worried or you're having bad thoughts. When you're afraid or anxious. When you feel like that, you have to tell me so you don't bottle it all up.”
The words stick in my throat again, until she gives me a look that gets me talking again, face red with shame once more. “Th-that's, umm... all the time though...”
“All the time?” she asks nervously. “Like right now?” When I nod, she straightens up and says, “Tell me how you are feeling right now.”
“I... well, umm, I feel, umm...” I look away. Do I... really have to tell her about this? As soon as I think that, there's a shooting pain in my chest and I flinch, clutching a hand over my crest. “I'm afraid!” I admit, to make it stop.
“Afraid of what?”
I grit my teeth, staring at the floor.
“Come on, you're going to tell me, just get on with it,” Liina scolds me.
“I'm afraid of... you...”
“O-oh?” She sounds put off for a moment. “Why?”
“I'm afraid of the power you have over me. That... that you'll use it to control me. That I'm just a tool, and you'll abuse me until I don't serve your needs anymore, then throw me out.” I stare at the floor between her feet. “...Just like always...”
Stolen novel; please report.
Liina's voice comes back wary. “What do you mean, just like always? Are you saying that has happened to you before?”
My eyes stay glued to the floor. I can't even make myself choke the words out until my slave crest flares up again and the pain forces the words out. “It's how my parents treated me.”
“O-oh... Wow, this goes a lot deeper than I thought,” Liina thinks aloud. Then she grabs me by the arm. “Come on, you're going to tell me everything, starting at the beginning.”
First she gets us out of our armor so we're in plain clothes again, and drags me to the bedroom. Then she sits me on the floor at the foot of her bed, and takes the spot behind on the edge. She puts her hands around my shoulders to rub my back as I hunch over. After a moment, she swishes her big fluffy tail around, into my lap.
I hesitate, looking up at her for silent permission. When she nods, I sink my fingers into her fur, trailing along the silky softness. It feels wonderful and helps calm my nerves immediately. As I play with her tail, a shudder runs up the length, and I can feel it tremble through her hands against my back a moment later.
I take a few deep breaths. I know what I need to explain, but the thought of baring all of my past pain and all my trauma to someone who literally owns me is horrifying on so many levels, it's hard to even wrap my head around it.
Then she sinks her knuckles into the tight muscles of my back, overtensed from a literal month of wearing ill-fitting armor while in constant fear for my life and freedom.
“Ahh!” I groan as my muscles untense just a little bit under her large, powerful hands. Between the unexpected massage, and the fluffy tail I'm practically using a cuddle plushy, I manage to get the words out.
“So... when I was born...”
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As soon as I start, I can't stop. It all comes pouring out. The passive aggressive hatred between my parents. My Mother's infidelity. The years of unreasonable demands, jerking me every which way according to their whims, for no purpose but to hurt each other, not a single shred of thought put into my own well-being.
My Mother throwing my existence in My Father's face.
Him never even calling me by name.
How I found friends anyway, but my parents did everything in their power to push them away, keep me isolated. Never allowed to go out together. Every one of our tabletop games brought to a swift end when they said I was spending too much time away from home, out of their grasp. Moving away whenever my teachers expressed concern.
My only choice was locking myself away up in my room. The years spent with fictional worlds as my only escape, video games my only connection to others.
All the empty birthday parties, held only to keep up the impression of a happy family so neither had to admit their hatred. Every gift an attack against each other. Never anything I wanted.
The utter lack of romance because that would introduce too much external influence into my life and oh no they couldn't have that!
And... how I never did anything about it. How I grew up living that way, so by the time lost my fourth or fifth friend group and realized what was happening, I was already so scared of breaking away from that tiny sliver of pretend normal that I just... shut up and obeyed.
How I let it go, and go, and go, until I reached the point where everything was going to come down around me and I still wasn't able to step out of line because I was so fucking afraid of everything.
I admit everything, from beginning to end, crying into Liina's tail as she tries to massage my shaking shoulders.
When I finally finish, she's silent for a very, very long time, while I sit and wail like a child.
----------------------------------------
When Liina finally does speak, all she manages is, “Shit. That's, uhh... Fuck...” And she falls silent again. After some time, she takes a deep breath, gets up and walks into another room, her tail slipping out from between my fingers as she leaves.
Did she just, just, like, give up on me?
I shouldn't have told her that, now she's going to throw me out!
What do I do now?!
What happens when a master gives up on a slave?
Is she going to sell me to someone horrible?
Was staying here a mistake after all?!
I start to flail in abject panic, crawling in the direction she went.
Maybe if I, I, I do something, something to make her think I'm not so broken?
Maybe she'll let me stay?!
Then the sound of running water comes from another room. What is that?
I'm still on all fours on the floor, staring up with bloodshot eyes when Liina comes back to the bedroom.
Six, seven seconds tops, since she left.
Her quick gait cuts short and she physically flinches when she sees me.
“Sh-shit,” she mutters. “I'm sorry, Yumi, you panicked, didn't you?” She kneels down, petting my head gently. “I'm really sorry about leaving you alone like that. I just wanted to start a bath for you so you could get washed up. I thought it would make you feel a little better.”
“Y-y-y-y-y-ou...” My stammering words aren't getting anywhere. I gulp and try again. “Y-you aren't... g-going to th-throw me out?”
“No, of course not,” she assures me. “Remember what I said, you're a really valuable slave. I'd be crazy to throw out someone like you.”
That's it? I'm valuable? So she is just going to abuse me until she's done with me? Until I'm not valuable anymore?
I sink to the floor, bawling.
“Come on, Yumi. You have to tell me what's wrong,” Liina urges me.
When I spend so long crying that my slave crest starts hurting, I choke for a moment, before I force the words out. “You... said I'm valuable. So you're just going to take advantage of me. Just, just use me until I'm worthless to you...” I sink to the floor. I can't. I just... can't. I'm losing the will to do anything...
Liisa hisses a little. “Ah, I think I get it...” She keeps petting my head, trailing her fingers along my knotted disaster of black hair, too long from months living in filth without a proper cut or any sort of care. “What you need is a master that actually cares about you.”
Then she grabs me, and lifts me up off the floor into her arms. “I think I can manage that,” she says confidently. Before I know it, we're in her bathroom, a big tub quickly filling with steaming hot water. After she sets me down, she takes a moment to adjust the water, before stripping my clothes off.
I can't even think enough to be embarrassed about it. Once I'm naked, she starts washing me. I sit, listless and unresponsive, as she scrubs me all over, getting months of dirt and grime from overworking myself in futile hopes of living a life of freedom...
She scrubs until the water runs black, quest after quest of grime running down the drain, from living, effectively homeless, sleeping in the training field at the guild.
She washes me until my skin is clean and somewhat stingingly raw, then takes a brush to my tangled, dirty, matted, knotted, hair. Before she can even get the brush through it, the tub is full, so she picks me up and deposits me inside. The hot water... feels good. As I soak, Liina keeps trying at my hair, before giving up on the brush.
With my hair hanging over the side of the tub, she gets some scissors from a cabinet, and cuts it. I don't even know how short. She just... cuts my hair. Once she's finished, she tries with the brush again, and she's eventually able to get it brushed out. Then, she washes it too.
By the time she's finished cutting, brushing, and washing my hair, the water in the tub has cooled a bit, and I've started to become just a little more responsive. Slowly, I turn around to look at her.
“Th-thank you...” I mumble.
Liina sighs heavily. “Don't expect this sort of treatment to be normal,” she warns. “I wanted to let you know you can trust me to take care of you, as your master. Like I said: I was taught you have to take care of your slaves. Now come on, you look exhausted, let's get you in bed.”
I gulp. “Y-yes... Master...”
Liina gives me a hand up out of the tub, dries me off, and leads me back to the bedroom. But... she left my clothes behind in the bathroom. Well, they're too dirty to wear now anyway...
She gently puts me down in bed. It's roomy and soft, and warm... “I'm going to go take a bath, alright?” she says soothingly. “Just try to get to sleep. If you start to panic again, come get me. That's an order.”
“Yes, Master,” I reply quietly, leaning my face into the nice, soft pillows while my suddenly short hair tickles my neck.
It's... so comfortable. The mattress and bedding so much softer than the cheap tavern beds or the hard ground in the field. Soft like a proper mattress back on earth, with nice, plush bedding that I slip into and just feel good.
I'm already half-asleep when Liina returns, sliding into bed next to me. Without even meaning to, I grab for her, snuggling against her soft, if somewhat matted and damp fur. She chuckles and says something about needy slaves, but doesn't stop me.
Clinging to her warm, wonderful fluff, I can actually relax enough to sleep.