What I wake up to, somehow, defies anything I could have imagined.

Picking up the note off the table, I read it aloud in Krulm's empty room. “You are to focus on recovering your strength. You will not leave the room until you finish eating all the food left for you in the fridge.”

Wandering over, I open it up and gulp a little. There are like, dozens of containers of food marked for me. I look a little closer. It's all the same, just like whatever that gruel stuff was that we ate when we first got here. I can't recall if it tasted like much. Besides, you know, life, so it's hard to say whether this is going to be unpleasant or not, eating the same meal over and over.

Oh who am I kidding this is incredible. There's food. And I'm supposed to eat it.

At that moment, my stomach growls at me, so I take the first of the containers. I think it's supposed to be hot, so I take a minute to heat it up on his stove. I still can't say I'm a great cook, but even before Master taught me, I could probably have managed heating up something like this. Probably...

As soon as it's hot, I sit down and eat. As it turns out, the food doesn't taste like much of anything. Not that it matters in the slightest. It fills my belly, so I just keep eating until I'm full. I manage more than yesterday, but still can't finish it all, so I put what's left back in the fridge.

He said it's my food, so I'm absolutely not wasting any.

Once I finish with that, I'm almost immediately overcome with fatigue again. It's all I can do to get some more water in me before I collapse, unconscious, on the couch.

----------------------------------------

Days follow just like that. Doing little besides eating and sleeping, I slowly feel myself begin to recover. I feel more healthy, less frail and hollow inside.

Being all alone, practically locked in this room does get to me though. I have to keep reminding myself that Krulm lives here, so he must be in and out sometimes. I'm just not seeing him.

I keep telling myself that, but it only helps my anxiety to a point.

I need someone. Anyone.

To take my mind off of it, I try taking a bath. I'm kind of sticky from sweating in my sleep anyway, so I wash myself down again. I give extra care to my ear, washing well to stave off any lingering germs and infection. I even shave, before slipping into the bath. “Ahh...” I groan. The hot water washes all my fatigue and worry away...

I stay in there for a while before I get so tired, I have to get out to avoid falling asleep and risk drowning in the tub. Then it's more food and sleep. To hold back the anxiety, I make a habit of bathing. That turns into bathing and cleaning. Then bathing and cleaning and talking to myself.

I make it through about half of the food left for me, before I can't take it anymore. Someone, anyone... I can't do this... The walls feel suffocating.

Despite my better judgment, I go to the door. As soon as I touch it, I get an awful, uncomfortable feeling everywhere that makes me draw back immediately. It's no good, like he said, I'm not allowed to leave.

But I can't take being so alone, so trapped...

Fuck, I'm not trapped, I'm recuperating! He knows I need food and rest, so that's what he's giving me!

So why do I feel trapped?!

“Argh!” I growl, holding my head. It doesn't matter how I feel, I just have to do what he says. He's clearly trying to help me recover! I don't know his motives, but they don't matter. As long as I can get fed and healthy again.

So I drown myself in food and sleep, bathing and ranting at myself while I clean every inch of his place spotless, until I can put myself back to sleep again. My ear finishes healing, and I make sure to take my earring in and out on and off again so the piercing won't close.

I give my hair another cut, a little better this time as it starts to grow out and even the stuff that I didn't cut, from the scalp level, feels heavily damaged.

And then Krulm shows up. While I'm eating, he suddenly just walks right in the door. Before I have the sense to, well, anything, I'm rushing over, and I'm just... hugging him.

“Hey, what is this?” he exclaims, clearly confused.

But I don't- I can't- just-

Not alone.

I squeeze and squeeze, incapable of doing anything else. That is, until he chops me on the top of my head, sending me staggering away. I fall back on my butt, sitting on the floor and rubbing my head, and look up with tears in my eyes.

“Haa,” the older man huffs. “Have you calmed down a little now?”

Somewhere between shock and relief, I nod mutely.

He kneels down on his haunches with a few cracks and a groan, but goes right on speaking. “Good. Now tell me, why did you try to leave before. I left you explicit instructions not to do that.”

“I-I'm sorry,” I stammer. “I just, I couldn't. I was so alone. Alone and trapped, even though I'm not. I- I know I'm not trapped here, but I feel like I am because I'm all alone and and... and I don't know, it's too much...” I have no idea if my babbled explanation accomplishes anything.

“Wait wait, hold on,” he waves a hand. “Let me get this straight, you were lonely?” He sounds incredulous, annoyed.

“W-well, sort of, I guess...” I admit. It sounds so pathetic when he puts it that way... “I...” I swallow hard when I remember. “I have... some really bad memories from being trapped and abandoned, all alone in the dark...”

Just recalling it, my hand comes up to my crest, those same feelings and pain flashing back through my mind, making me shake and my breath come sort, suffocating as all the walls press close around me.

“Oh, that actually sounds serious...” he rumbles, a hand rubbing his chin.

I shake my head. “I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I didn't want to bother you...”

“It's fine, it's not your fault if you have trauma after what you've been through. Now, I have to get back to work.” He begins to stand, before putting hand on my shoulder. “I'll check back on you once in a while, so you have no need to worry about being alone.”

Just that gesture brings tears to my eyes. “Thank you...” With a light slap on my shoulder, he turns and heads back out.

I keep sitting on the floor for a few minutes. Just knowing that there's someone, anyone, coming, is an incredible relief. It lifts the crushing weight of anxiety that's been hanging on me. I shuffle back over to the table to finish my meal in a daze, before passing out again.

With my worries gone, I sleep so well, it's incredible.

----------------------------------------

From that point on, I'm able to just eat and sleep in peace. Krulm's visits are brief and infrequent, showing up for just a handful of minutes at a time once in a while, but it doesn't matter. Knowing anyone is coming gives me peace of mind like nothing else.

One by one, I go through the containers in the fridge, until at last, I eat the final one. Once I've finished my meal, I go over into the bathroom. I drop my bathrobe, my only real clothes for the past however long, and look myself over in the mirror.

Better. So, so much better. I look like myself again. I look human again. No more emaciated, half dead ghost. Now I have at least a little meat on me. I'm still skinny, still underweight, but I'm not about to literally starve to death. My hair's grown back down to the tops of my shoulders and I've been careful washing it, so it looks nice and healthy again, as does my skin.

As much as it sucked, I got my first period in a long, long time, probably a couple days ago. A really good indication that I'm back in somewhat decent health.

Even if I'm still short and scrawny, I look and feel so much better, it really helps with, well, pretty much everything. When I look in the mirror, the dark brown eyes that stare back actually have life in them again.

Finally moving on from my reflection, I take a nice long soak in the bath. It took a lot of soaking and scrubbing to work away the horrifying calluses on my feet, but now they're at least somewhat normal again. Still hard from a life of walking, but not so overused I can't even feel them anymore.

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Then there's my gear. I cleaned up what could be salvaged, but most of it was literally worn to shredded scraps, so it got thrown out. I'll need to get more before I do much adventuring.

That is... if I even want to keep adventuring. I could just stay in town, work at a bar again, or at the guild. As long as I don't need to worry about random kidnappers, I probably don't have much reason to leave town again, right?

Or do I want to go? I don't really know. I wanted to get stronger so I could protect myself. I can't do that without going out on quests. But if I don't go out of town on quests, I don't have anything to protect myself from, do I?

Of course, that all comes after I finish paying off my debt. Well, I might be able to work in town to make the money, but like with Keane, it's going to be up to Krulm how I work to pay him back. So for now, I put off thinking about it a little longer, and enjoy my soak in the tub.

It feels like all my stress and worry melts away, until I suddenly hear the door open. Sitting up in the tub, I hear footsteps, and realize that Krulm must have just come back. So I quickly get out and put on a bath robe from the small pile of clean ones. I made sure to wash them all and keep them clean, like everything else in his room.

Then I go back out, still patting my short hair to dry it. He's never around for long, so I don't want to keep him waiting. “Ah, Yumi,” Krulm says when he sees me. He looks me up and down appraisingly. “You are looking much, much better. I saw you finished the last of the food I left for you.”

“Yes, sir.” As much as him being any other person helps with my anxiety about being all alone, I'm still nervous around him. I know he's given me a place to rest and recover, but I don't know why.

I'm afraid to ask...

So I stand there, unsure of myself, while he yawns. “I'm making some food, are you hungry?”

“Umm, sure...” I mumble back. I didn't eat that long ago, but I don't know if I could ever bring myself to refuse food anymore...

“Alright.” With a little wave of his hand, he heads into his little kitchen and pulls some food out. It's the other stuff that has been in there, aside from the containers marked for me. I made sure not to touch any of it since I got here.

While sounds of cooking fill the little room, I look around. This is his first time staying for longer than a brief visit. And I'm done with the food he left for me. Does that mean he's going to move on from this to... whatever comes next?

Already getting anxious about that, I step around his little room, having half a mind to clean, but everything is absolutely immaculate already. I've been anxiety-cleaning his place for who knows how long. There's literally nothing left. Except of course, his bed. I haven't so much as brushed up against it in my time here.

I don't know if I'm allowed to.

I don't want to know.

“Food,” he calls, making me jump in surprise. Then I move quickly back to the table as he serves it. Oh wow, it's the first food in so long that's something different. Kind of like scrambled eggs, I think, and there's even some meat mixed in!

Completely forgetting that I ate not too long ago, I gladly dig into the food placed in front of me. He also made some tea, which he drinks with a somewhat sleepy look on his face.

Once we finish, Krulm stands up, stretching and yawning tiredly. I immediately grab the bowls and head into the kitchen to clean them up. When I'm done, I walk back out into his room, to see him sitting on the edge of his bed, a cup of tea in hand.

With his free hand, he rubs at the back of his neck. “Alright, I'm exhausted, so you're going to pay me back for using my room for so long. Come give me a massage.”

I jolt a little at the command. God damn it I knew it...

In the time it takes him to finish his cup of tea, then strip off his clothes to lie on his bed, I barely manage to unlock my feet from the floor.

I trudge over to the bed and after a few more seconds of hesitation, I touch the side, like it's going to bite me. There's no punishment, and I'm almost disappointed. It would, I don't know, be an excuse not to, or something...

So I climb up on top of him. I'm really, really glad he's face down, because sitting like this, in this bathrobe, bares parts of me I don't want him to see...

Like every time before, I try to push off thoughts of what comes after, and just focus on giving him a massage.

Oh, woah. God damn he has so much stress built up. He has the powerful muscles of a high level adventurer, just like Master did, but they're all stiff and knotted, like he's gone for too long without any rest or relaxation.

I do my best, up and down his back, across his shoulders, his neck... I even give his arms a few squeezes and thankfully, those don't seem quite so abused. So I go to his legs, which also aren't as bad. Except, why does he have so much tightness around his ankles, of all places?

Moving down a little more, I get to his feet, and find they're also hard and callused. Not as bad as mine when I arrived, but still pretty bad, worse than I've gotten them back to now.

I keep massaging him, drawing groan after pleased groan. It's not even hard. For Krulm, every spot is a sore spot. What has this man been putting himself through?

I am really surprised how strong and muscular he is, despite his age. Shit, he's old enough to be my father!

No no no no not thinking about that now!

I keep having to force those thoughts from my mind, because I know what happens after, and I know I need to be prepared. But it's nothing like previous massages. He's, well, he's human. I think I've already come to terms with how stupidly turned on the fluffy altraska make me. Even if I hadn't, it would be hard to ignore now because massaging Krulm does not.

I can't really say I have a thing for huge muscles. Hot guys with some muscle maybe...? But Krulm? Sure he's big and strong, but he's also old and kind of scary... I'm not about to get turned on massaging him.

Which is really bad, because I know how important that is, especially after Malic...

God damn it I was trying not to think about this...

I don't know how long I keep massaging Krulm, but I eventually manage to work almost all of the knotted up, stressed hardness out of him. My arms are really tired by the end of it. Finally, he sighs, and raises a hand for me to stop.

I stand from the bed, turning away so he can't see my expression. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch while Krulm slowly sits back up. He rolls his shoulders and twists, groaning and sighing happily.

Oh god... I squeeze my eyes shut, small tears in them.

Come on, Yumi, if this is all you have to do to pay him back for all the food, baths, a place to sleep and everything, that's a good deal, isn't it? It's really not that bad!

Screwing up my determination, I turn back to Krulm, eyes squinting open. He has some clothes in one hand, pausing when he sees me look.

I make my trembling hands come up and slip off my bathrobe. The single, flimsy bit cloth protecting my modesty falls to the floor, and Krulm's eyes go wide.

I almost cover myself on reflex again, but Master never let me do that, so I force my arms down to my sides.

“Yumi, what are you doing?” Krulm asks. I don't understand. With one look at me, his head snaps away.

“I...” I don't know how to answer. “I was... I thought...”

“Thought what?” Finally recovering a little of his sense, staring at the wall, he says, “Put your clothes back on.”

I don't understand. He doesn't want to have sex with me? Then why did he...? Despite my confusion, I grab up the bathrobe and put it on again, as fast as I can.

Once I'm dressed again, he asks, “What was that about?” He's still turned away, putting on the clothes he was holding.

“W-well...” I stare at the ground, my whole face hot. Both from shame at what I just did, and from having to explain this... “My, umm... My master always had me give massages before... Before doing that... To...” I squeeze my eyes shut. “To get me in the mood...”

Urgh please kill me...

“S-so I thought... well...” I mumble, wanting to cry.

“O-oh, ahem,” Krulm sounds obviously flustered for once. “I see, I apologize for the misunderstanding.” Dressed again, he straightens out his clothes. “I'm not a beast, of course I wouldn't push something like that on a young woman.”

“I saw you had the Massage Skill, so I figured I could at least get a massage in exchange for the help I provided. You see, I have a very stressful job and it's far harder to get a good massage than I feel it should be,” he explains, a little humor finally leaking in his voice. “I never intended for you to think something beyond that.”

With no idea how to respond, I just keep blushing from ear to ear.

Then he approaches, and something changes. I wobble a little, the air growing lighter and less oppressive. By the time I adjust to the change, he's removed my slave collar. “There you go.”

“Huh?” I gape. “Wha- But- Huh?” My confusion makes him smirk slightly. “B-but I never paid my debt!”

“Pff,” he snorts and waves it off. “Like I care about some pocket change. A young girl like yourself, with what you've been through... I just wanted to get you back on your feet.”

I stare briefly. “...Thanks...”

That's... really cool...

“Yeah yeah,” he chuckles. “Thanks for the wonderful massage, but... well, I'm dead tired now. So scram.” He gives a small shooing motion with his hand, still chuckling to himself.

I smile back, and bow. While he flops tiredly into his bed, I go grab my stuff, all piled together in the corner. I head into the bathroom and change out of the bathrobe, into what's left of my own clothes. What I was able to salvage and scrub clean is still pretty ripped up, so it doesn't leave much to the imagination, but at least it'll get the job done until I can make some more money for new clothes.

I take one last look at myself in the mirror, gazing at the sprawl of blue tattoos over my chest. No more slave crest...

Unfortunately, I also notice my breasts. They weren't much to look at before, but after starving like that, there isn't much left to them. Hopefully as I put a little more weight back on, they'll get back to how they were, but for now... well, at least I don't need to worry about bras, I guess...

Finishing up with my clothes, I get to the door out. I hesitate a little, a hand coming up to rub at the spot that no longer holds a collar, before touching the handle. Of course, nothing happens. So, I open the door and leave.