Max sits down on the end of the bed in the oversized, over-decorated, over-everything room that he and the girls had been taken to the moment they reached the palace. Marra had managed to convince the various attendants and helpers to leave them alone, which was nice. Max watches with a smile on his face as June and Vaye immediately start helping each other take off their armor, Kayle starts making sure her hair looks ok in the mirror, and Setris and Marra start doing what little actual housekeeping they’ll need to sleep comfortably in here. You really do all go through the exact same routine every time.
Max himself just half-lays on the bed for a moment, before leaping to his feet and starting to disrobe. He motions for June to bring him his set of ‘formal looking’ clothes that the girls had all insisted he get for stuff like this. He feels someone’s arms-not soft, definitely Kayle-wrap their arms around his waist from his front as he struggles to pull the shirt over his head. Without a voice, and with his hands occupied, he has no real way of protesting the girl pulling his pants down for him, even if it is very helpful for changing quickly. He finally manages to pull the shirt over, and tosses it to the side.
“Hey!” Setris exclaims, and Max turns to see that he accidentally landed the garment directly in her face, and he winces and signs an apology with his hands. Setris just stares at him blankly, before walking past him to continue unpacking. Max turns around again, feeling a certain someone trying to undo his custom-made underwear entirely too slowly to count as ‘helping’, and plants his hand on the side of Kayle’s head, pushing her away. Max pokes the link with Marra to try and get the words he wants out said quickly enough.
“He knows it’s your turn, Kayle, but we still have to go to that dumb meeting before we’ll have time to ourselves.” Marra says with a sigh, and she walks over to grab the tiefling’s ear, pulling her off of Max with a couple pointed curses of protest.
Max smiles, and walks over to the mirror, examining his body’s beard with moderate displeasure. Due to the circumstances(Kayle’s turn, not the formal occasion), he feels like he should shave it, even though it really does match this body quite well. He turns his head over to Vaye, hearing several huffs of annoyance, and sees that she is busy trying to fit into a more casual, but decidedly masculine outfit, and struggling because of her figure. It’s almost comical, and Max would probably be laughing at her if he could, but Setris moves over to help her. As the two wood elves try to figure out how to get a male’s formal uniform over Vaye’s shapely figure, he realizes it'll be a while before the usual barber is available, so Max signs over June instead, poking Marra to ask her the question for him.
“June, help him with his beard, he doesn’t want it to be so prickly for Kayle.” Marra announces his intention as she finishes forcing the girl he's preparing for into her casual clothes.
“Honestly, I like the beard, but oh well…” June sighs out the words softly as she starts walking over to him.
--
June finishes removing the last of the unwanted facial hair with her unorthodox method of [Sunbody] focused on her fingers to ‘burn’ the hair away, trusting that Max will just be ok with taking the fire damage. Max watches the dark elf take a step back and admire her work as Setris heals the damage with a simple [Cure].
“Looks squeaky clean, if I do say so myself!” June announces happily, before leaning in to kiss Max’s newly unburnt lips. He returns it earnestly, but doesn’t go any further than a long peck before he stands, and stretches. Everyone but himself and Setris are dressed to go now, but at least he’s the only one still completely naked.
He grabs the formal garb Setris had laid out for him before she started watching the beard-burning, and starts putting on the over-large white formal shirt with a disgusted look on his face. Marra bursts out laughing when she spots how horribly he’s failing at buttoning it up correctly, but Vaye is the one who actually steps up to help him. She steals a kiss in much the same way as June, the standard reward for being the first of the harem to help Max do something, despite how much he protests them thinking about it that way.
It had taken twenty whole minutes for the group to get Max into the ridiculously complicated faux noble outfit Setris had picked out. Plus five for the brief, but a bit humorous incident with Setris not being able to fit her pants over her butt before Marra solved the issue with [Mage Hand] to add some extra pulling force. Oh, and five more for another round of making sure everyone got their ‘reward kiss’ for the group effort, plus double for Kayle. And ten more to find the meeting room in the palace’s mess of corridors, halls, rooms, alcoves, obnoxiously large stairwells, and a fucking public lovemaking chamber(apparently some nobles like to make sure newlywed nobles and royals are 'performing', according to June). Max signed to them all that he wanted to stop at the garden first, but was informed by Marra that they actually already passed it six minutes back, which only increased the frustration of the experience.
Finally, though, they had all made it to the meeting room, where they were told King Solomon, Duke Kaulderfield, and some retainers would be waiting. Alright, girls, let’s get this over with.
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--
Violet moves forward in her chair as John finally returns from the meeting with his dad and Edora’s Hand, and Jay leans up in his seat as well, managing to ask the question before Violet is able to.
“How’s Kaz?” Jay’s question is blunt, to the point, and also the completely wrong question to be asking given how haggard John’s face looks.
“Bad. He’s got a new body, and the girls are the only ones able to call him by his actual name now, if you couldn’t tell by what you just said.” John says with a pitying look on his face as he takes a seat.
“Eternia’s Scorn is that bad, huh…” The party ranger says from next to Violet, and all nod in response. They all try to focus on their ranger’s face, but fail to actually look him in the eyes. They know, though, that if anyone in this world besides Kaz’s own party understands what it’s like for your name to be unspeakable by anyone who doesn't meet arbitrary and confusing conditions, it’s Crimson Mists’s ranger. Violet thinks that might be a bit of an understatement, as-
“He’s got the same name as me, we know that for a fact, but why can’t we even think about him using his actual name!? Oh, but the royals and nobles can, just because he fucked one princess one time ten years ago. That death god's curse is fucking bullshit, I’ll say.” Max, the party’s rogue, who only incidentally shares a name with Kaz, voices his opinion on ‘Eternia’s Scorn’, before turning to Violet and John. “No offense to any priests, of course.”
“I’m a paladin of redemption, not death and fate, plus, I think it’s too heavy a punishment to place on top of his other burdens.” Violet gives voice to her honest thoughts, both on the God of Death and Fate’s rules about defying death and on how much weight must surely be on Kaz’s shoulders by now.
“Agreed. We’ve only been a party for eight years, and yet he’s been running around slaying dragons and purging cults since before I was born, I almost wish we were good enough to take over for him, so he could rest.” John’s opinion is more personal than Violet’s was, but she agrees with her holy companion all the same.
“Yeah, says the priest of fucking travel! Some of us want to settle down when we’re young, yknow? Those pretty girls out in the middle of nowhere aren’t gonna get pregnant with the next generation of thieves by themselves, yknow?” The rogue’s opinion is, as always, based on something Violet will never experience if she manages to keep her vows and oaths in order.
“I don’t think I’d mind taking over for that role. Saving the kingdom from ancient evils and all that… Even if they don’t remember who I am, they’ll probably still put up statues of me.” The party ranger perks up a little at the thought, and Jay chuckles in response. Violet opens her mouth to try and get the conversation back on track.
“How did the-”
“Alright, real questions then, how did the meeting go?” Jay cuts Violet off, earning him her angry glare, but the wizard just grins and winks at her in response.
“All in all, we’re only ‘moderately fucked’, as Max would put it,” John says to a chorus of groans. “Kaz’s group agreed to check the northern reaches, which is good, since we don’t have anyone looking there yet. The bad news, though, is that Four Winds and Blue Blue aren’t coming…”
“You say that like there’s more, spit it out, man!” Max demands of the cleric, and Violet chips in her agreement by nudging the man’s shin with her plated boot.
“They’re not coming because they’re working for Etrest.” John pauses, and leans back in his chair, grabbing a bottle of wine off of the shelf behind him. “As mercenaries.”
“Shit.”
“Fuck.”
“By the gods…”
“Am I the only one that sees this as a good thing?” Jay’s voice comes last in the parade of curses, and everyone turns to look at him blankly as one. Jay sighs, and snaps his fingers, a [Share Thoughts] spell connects them all to him instantly. “Look, here, at the string of events from the reports the King put together, it all points to-”
“Did you really use [Scrying] to spy on the meeting?” John interrupts with a look of vacant shock on his face, and Jay stops and stutters for a moment, but doesn’t answer. “Honey. Did you use [Scrying] to spy on a top secret, potentially kingdom-safety threatening meeting.”
Violet turns away as John deals the verbal mortal blow to the wizard, and she spots Max and the ranger doing the same. The ranger mouths a phrase to her, proving just how annoying his… condition is, because she knows exactly what he mouthed even if she has no idea what his lips look like. ‘I think we should let the lovers fight it out’ is what Violet translates, but before she can mouth back to the ranger, she spots Max trying to tip-toe away from the pair of casters.
“Well… I-I didn’t, per se… I shared it with everyone… So it was more of… [Scrying] and [Sense Link]...” Jay squeaks out as John seems to get larger and larger next to him. Violet turns and sees that it’s not just seems, John probably actually cast a silent [Enlarge] spell on himself the moment he heard the admission of guilt.
“R E A L L Y NOW?” John’s mock surprise gets a chuckle out of the ranger, and Violet also cracks a smile, but worst of all is Max, who falls on his ass when he bursts out laughing. “Oh, you’re all getting the lecture, shut up and sit down.”