Selene

I spent the last two days doing much the same thing, focusing my energy on sitting with my emotions as I recall memory by memory, allowing everything to run its course and let it go. The work is slow-going and painful, but the intensity lessens as the days go on and I can feel myself lightening with every small step I make in healing. My body is exhausted as much as my mind is, and sleep has not come easy to me since the night I left Kyran standing in the yard.

I’ve wanted to reach out to him a few times but had to tell myself it will only complicate things at the moment and that I need to get through this shit on my own first. My mother let me know last night that today we would get my memories back and I’m equally excited and apprehensive about it, not entirely sure which way I’m leaning toward more at the moment. I spent most of today sunbathing in the garden as I tentatively prodded a particularly sensitive memory of Bolvi and sat a long while working through it.

Pushing the porch door open, I sniffle thickly through my inflamed nose and wipe my face with the hem of my t-shirt as Ria turns from the oven carrying a tray of chocolate chip cookies. She gives me a small smile and grabs a platter, transferring the cookies onto it at the island as I take a seat on the other side, snagging a warm one from the tray. Taking a bite, I savor the buttery feel of the fresh baked cookie for a moment before scrunching my nose and glaring at it disappointingly.

“What? If there’s something wrong with it, it’s your fault,” Ria waves the spatula at me with a raised eyebrow. “I made these from your dough stash in the freezer.”

I snort a laugh and point at my red, puffy face. “Is there anything you can do for this? I can’t taste a damn thing,” I emphasize with a thick sniffle.

She laughs as well and nods her head, stepping around the island and wipes her hands on her thighs. Lifting two fingers, she murmurs, “Recipero,” and traces her fingers over my eyebrows, down my nose and across my cheekbones. Immediately the pressure in my face dissipates and I can breathe regularly again. My eyes also feel clearer and don’t sting anymore.

“Damn, where was this when I was a teenager?” I joke lightly, feeling better.

All the heavy crying lately has made my sinuses inflamed and eyes feel like sandpaper, Asteria’s magic wiping it away as if it never was a problem to begin with. She laughs again, giving me a warm smile and goes back to filling the plate. I take another bite and this time, groan in satisfaction at the taste. Hopping off my stool, I snag two more and make my way to the couch, waiting for our mother to arrive. Ria joins me shortly and I think about what having my memories back will be like.

“Hey, Ria?” I ask quietly, and she hums around a cookie, raising her brow.

Asteria clears her throat after swallowing a bite and turns toward me on the couch, asking, “Yeah?” and looking at me expectantly.

“Am I…different?” I gesture vaguely at myself, waving my hand around my head. “How I am, how I behave, I mean. Am I different now compared to the person you knew before we had to go into stasis?”

I watch as her crisp eyebrows pinch and her glossy red mouth twists to the side as she shakes her head. “No, not really. If anything, you’re just more reserved overall. You’re still kind, compassionate and have always had a gentle soul. Though, I will admit, Luna’s sassiness definitely bled into your personality in the past at times and you had an edge to you, like, even though you didn’t want to harm anyone, you’d be ruthless in the name of justice or morality. I think that comes with Luna’s soul, though, and yours has not changed. This current part of you is simply the foundation block of the part of you I knew then. I’m confident that when you hold your memories once more, the life you’ve lived here will bring a more well-rounded self forward when combined with your past self,” she smiles at me with love in her eyes.

I smile back, nodding my head and finish the last cookie as I absorb her words. Our mother arrives suddenly, her winds flickering the candle flames around the living room and billowing her black cloak as her straight cropped hair flutters back to her shoulders. She smooths her slim hands over her plum velvet dress, a movement I’ve grown to understand to be a nervous habit since she is always impeccably well-kept. Her violet eyes have a slight shimmer to them as she holds my gaze, her mouth pulled into a tight line.

“I have everything prepared, if you are ready,” she quietly informs me, glancing from me to Asteria.

I nod my head and reply, “I am, as much as I can be, I guess. Although, there is something I would like to see, before my memories are restored. Kind of like a fun new experience, give me a little bit of a fresh memory to tie with an old one, perhaps?” I roll my lips between my teeth with a smile.

“What…are you asking?” she narrows her eyes at me, shifting her weight and crossing her arms.

“Would you show me your triple form? I know from lore and mythology the…humans have that you are depicted with an appearance of a three headed goddess, one face each for the maiden, mother, and crone,” I raise my eyebrows expectantly as I clasp my hands in my lap.

“Is this really necessary?” she intones dryly, pinching her nose with closed eyes.

“Ugh, she used to do this to me as a child to get me in line when I wouldn’t obey,” Ria pushes off the couch and flaps her hand at our mother, making her way back into the kitchen.

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I laugh at them both and nod my head eagerly, smiling childishly and make a gesture for her to proceed. My mother drops her hand and sighs dramatically before stepping around the armchair, coming to a stop in front of me. “Fine, if it makes you feel better. But we must begin our work immediately afterward, I need the light of the rising moon to strengthen the magic within you,” she looks at me pointedly, a small crack of a smile pulling at her mouth and I nod my head once in agreement.

I watch as she shakes her hands at her sides and sweeps them in a wide arc, pressing her palms together at her chest and her eyes glow brightly. With a mischievous smile, she claps her hands then spreads her arms wide, the air around her shimmering for a moment as two shoulders and arms appear on either side of her outstretched ones and two slender necks raise identical heads in opposite directions. I can’t help the gasp that escapes me at this sight, their movements are individual, like three people sharing one main body. She lowers her arms and raises an eyebrow at me while smirking.

“Whoa,” I breathe, pushing to my feet. “Can you see all around you?” I ask, fascinated.

“Yes,” all three mouths respond simultaneously, three identical voices with different tones joining harmoniously.

I step around her to look at each face and all six eyes track my movements, her heads swiveling as I walk. It’s totally freaky and really cool at the same time. The head on her right is youthful, pretty in the way nature is and she gives me a pleasant smile. The face is the same as the mother I’ve always known, just younger, more childlike in its features. Her middle head is the original and I smile at her as I pass by, peering around her shoulder at the third head. Wrinkled violet eyes greet me warmly and her soft jowls wiggles a bit as she inclines her head in greeting. I return back in front of my mother with a wide smile, delighted at the magical wonder of her.

She raises all six arms a little, as if she’s stretching out and her voices murmur, “It’s been some time since I’ve held this form,” and her three expressions are reminiscent.

She sways a little for a few moments before whirling her hands and returns to her original form, smoothing her now waist length, wavy black hair over her shoulder. I can’t resist the desire to hug her as I step forward and wrap my arms around her slim waist, feeling lighter than I have been since the sleep dive. I whisper my thanks and she pats my head lovingly before I pull away and sigh.

“Alright, tell me what I need to do. I’m ready,” I say sternly, feeling sure for once, “should we remove my mental shroud? Luna had said she believes having my memories back will better help me to be able to process things within myself and I agree with her, it feels right. I also want to feel whole again.”

My mother nods her head in agreement as well and holds out her hand for me to take. I place mine in hers without hesitation and the sensation of a rocking boat washes over me for a moment before I find myself in a dark room, lit only by four fat candles on the floor at each center point of the walls. When my senses return fully, I notice that we’re not in a room, but a cavern of stone with a missing ceiling that is open to the twilight sky. Soft mossy vines climb the walls and encircle the craggy edges of the ceiling, giving the area an earthy aroma.

A gentle breeze tickles the back of my neck and I turn to see Asteria manifest, holding some crystals and what looks like a glass vial of ink in her hands. She gives the vial to our mother and summons an intricate athame into her empty hand as she walks over toward me. I step aside as she passes me wordlessly, placing the various crystals on the ground before turning to face me, giving me a small smile.

“I need your blood,” she states simply and I give her an incredulous look. “Not much, just enough to coat the crystals,” she rolls her eyes, handing me the thin blade.

I grasp the carved black handle, eyeing it warily as if it’ll embed itself in me on its own and glance back at Ria. “Does it matter where the blood comes from?” I ask, unsure how to go about this.

She just shakes her head and summons another athame, the carvings and shape similar to the one I hold and swiftly slices her palm on the blade, holding her dripping hand out over the crystals. I wince at the thought of cutting my palm and without much thought, I step over to stand beside her and quickly drag my blade across the back of my forearm. A sharp hiss escapes me at the hot flash of pain and I angle my arm down, letting my blood drip over the clustered crystals.

The moment the first drop touches, silvery light blooms from the center of the cluster and begins to radiate outward, growing larger as more of my blood coats the crystals. Asteria brushes her fingers over my wound while murmuring something under her breath and my skin tingles as it knits itself back together seamlessly. I stare confoundedly at my arm, smooth and clean as if the gash never happened. I guess I could’ve done my palm, I think dryly as I watch Ria wave her hand over the glowing crystals.

The cluster levitates a few feet off the ground before separating into small sections, each one floating away to form a circle wide enough for us to lay together within and settles onto the smooth rock floor with a soft clinking sound. At the sound of my name, I turn over my shoulder to find my mother beckoning me to come to her. I stop before her and she raises her inky fingers to my face, swiping them intricately across my forehead and over my temples before tapping my nose with a smirk. I chuckle, wiping the ink away as I turn back to the illuminated circle and find Asteria with pretty looking runes adorning her face as well.

She glances upward toward the sky at the full moon cresting over the edge of the cavern and quietly announces, “It’s time,” and turns toward the crystal circle.

Ria holds her hand out to me and I grasp it firmly as we carefully step over the glowing crystals and turn in the middle to face our mother. She raises her arms with her palms up as she closes her eyes and tips her head back, a cool breeze suddenly swirling around her and caressing me gently. Ria tugs my hand down as she crouches and I follow suit, the both of us laying back side by side. I stare up into the indigo sky as my mother’s voice calls out to me.

“I won’t remove your enchantment until you are in the stasis, though when you awaken I will not replace it unless you ask me to. With Asteria’s magic, this will feel much the same as the sleep dive, though you both will have better control over what goes on and it will feel more like reality, just with a few extra perks. Best of luck, and I will see you when you’re back,” her voice fades away for a moment before returning lower and chanting in a language I don’t understand.

The crystals surrounding us brighten, emitting glittery ribbons of translucent light that float above us lazily, swirling around one another until each stream forms a pool that stretches wider as my mother’s chanting gets louder. The shimmering pool descends slowly, laying over my skin like a cool blanket of misty starlight and tingles erupt all over my body at the contact. I can feel my mind growing hazy, the sensation similar to the moments right before sleep claims its stake, how the heavy drowsiness is too strong to resist before everything fades to black.