Selene

I wake groggily to the sound of canned laughter coming from the television and crack my swollen eyes open to find Asteria sitting on the floor below me. She’s watching some corny sitcom while painting her nails—her usual weekly habit—and I roll onto my back with a groan. My body feels like my limbs have been stretched in all directions and my face is inflamed from all my crying. I sluggishly realize that my mind feels like a bubble, floaty in the sense of being lightheaded without the dizziness. I assess my body function for a moment and note that I have full control over my movements, just that my mind feels shrouded in a warm blanket, numbing my overall psyche.

Ria turns to look at me over her shoulder and I give her a wan smile as she looks at me sympathetically. She pushes to her feet and lifts my legs, taking a seat as she places them in her lap. I sit up against the arm rest and pull the throw blanket up to my shoulders, not really thinking of anything in particular. Ria pats my leg and gets my attention, her manicured brow pinching in the middle.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” she gently asks, her sharp voice uncharacteristically soft.

I have to consciously focus on my feelings, finding that I don’t have them floating around freely like I usually do. It takes some effort to pull them forward to assess how things are within me. I can feel the distraught emotions if I look too closely, but they don’t have much of an effect on me at the moment, so I answer her truthfully. “I feel okay. Kind of…high? Haha, I don’t know, a bit numb but also kinda floaty?” I blink languidly at her as she nods her head in understanding.

“Yeah, that would be from mother’s spell. She placed a sedative enchantment around your mind after rendering you unconscious. She and I both agreed it was probably the best course of action, with all things considered. Your powers are manifesting and without your knowledge of how to wield them, shit can get real bad, if you get what I mean,” she widens her lavender eyes dramatically, giving me a smirk. “You’re badass, by the way, and this is coming from me,” she adds with a hair flip, and I giggle like a child.

My mother pushes through the porch door with a basket in her hands, the bright sunlight pouring into the dark cottage with her arrival. I squint my eyes from the harsh change as she quickly closes the door, placing her herb basket on the counter and hurries over to us. Her skirts float around her, their swaying mesmerizes me for a moment and I don’t hear what she has said to me. Her face is concerned, and I have to blink a few times to focus on her directly, clearing my throat a little before I speak.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you. Things are…a little hazy,” I smile loosely up at her, my voice drawn out lazily.

She glances at Ria who laughs and shakes her head with a shrug. “Could be worse,” she says offhandedly, her smile fading away.

“I think I overdid it with the incantation,” my mother mutters, crouching before me and pressing her fingers gently to my temples.

She closes her deep violet eyes and murmurs something incoherently, her voice shifting into a lower cadence as she speaks. I feel something cool slither through my head at her words, the way water feels running over your hand and the haziness to my mind dissipates, leaving only the veiled, muted emotions and partial numbness behind. I let out a breath as I blink a couple of times, regaining my clarity and I give her an appreciative smile as she leans back.

“Thank you, that is much better. Not to say it wasn’t good before, it was great, but I don’t want to cover all my shit up without addressing it at its core,” I say quietly, glancing away from them both.

“You should have the ability to access what you choose at your discretion. My intention with the enchantment is to give you a means to handle yourself on your own, without feeling too much of everything all at once. When you are ready, I will remove the spell from your mind and you will return to your natural state. Until then, take as much time with it as you see fit, dear. We all want you to feel healthy again soon,” my mother gives me a reassuring smile and I nod my head in gratitude.

Glancing toward the window and the bright blue sky, I try to recall the last thing I remember. I wince as I see myself exploding with dark shadow magic and throwing it at Kyran in my desperation to get him away from me, ultimately doing the one thing I was trying so hard to avoid. I turn to my mother once more to ask quickly, “Is he okay? Did I hurt him? I didn’t mean to; I don’t know what overcame me. None of this has been making much sense to me,” my voice is frail and sore and I raise my hand to rub my throat.

Asteria vanishes for a moment and reappears with a glass of water, holding it out for me silently. I take it gratefully and gulp half of it down before my mother takes a seat in the armchair beside the couch. I finish the glass with a sigh, realizing how thirsty I am and that I haven’t had anything to eat in almost…two days? “What time is it? How long have I been out?” I ask them both, setting the empty glass on the end table beside me.

I watch with fascination as Ria swirls her fingers around, gesturing toward me and I hear the sound of liquid splashing behind me. I turn to find my glass refilled with water and I gape at Asteria with a smile. “That is seriously so cool,” I say under my breath, taking the glass in my hand once more.

“He is alright, for the most part,” my mother answers my earlier question with a reserved tone, “and it is eleven forty-seven in the morning, you were asleep for close to thirteen hours.”

I turn to look at her over the glass as I swallow down a few more gulps of the cold water and my eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean by ‘for the most part?’” I ask immediately, a stone of worry dropping into my stomach.

“Kyran is unharmed physically, what with his healing ability and all. Though I am not one to speak for how someone is on the inside,” my mother holds her hand out and a steaming cup of tea appears, “I am certain he is…having some difficulty.” She takes a sip of her tea, her violet eyes watching me over the rim.

Asteria shifts on the couch, pulling her legs up and faces me. She sighs heavily and I can see the darkness beneath her tired eyes. Her hand gently pats my leg still perched in her lap and gives me a tired smile. “I’m sure he’ll be okay, just go and talk with him once you’ve regained some of your strength.”

I shake my head, glancing down and knitting my fingers together. “No,” I whisper, “I don’t think I can face him right now.”

Neither of them says anything in response and I chew my lip as I think about my behavior toward him last night. I feel ashamed, for him to have seen me in that way and for using my power against him. I’m a fucking mess, I groan internally at the memories of yesterday playing in my mind.

You got that right, Luna’s exasperated voice waves through my head and I snort a laugh.

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My mother and sister look at me weirdly and I ignore them, raising my hand to scrub my face. Ugh, I need a shower. A long, hot, thorough cleanse. Dropping my hand with a sigh, I place my glass down and get to my feet slowly. My body is sore and protests against the movement as I stretch my arms over my head. “I have a lot to think about, and I’m going to start in my shower, then in my tub, and I’ll check back in once I become a swelled-up raisin,” I say blandly, waving a hand at nothing and heading for the stairs.

As I take the first step, I pause for a moment, turning back toward my family and give them a small smile. “Thank you, both, for everything. I appreciate your help and patience through all of this—”

The television suddenly blares loudly, an incessant droning noise repeating as we all flinch from the interruption. Breaking news flashes across the screen and a reporter is running through chaos in a city, her voice is frantic over the din of screaming people and car horns blaring. “…We have yet to identify the cause of the explosion or how many buildings have been affected. Police are on their way to evacuate and restrict the immediate area, several EMS teams are assisting injured people as they emerge from the rubble…” her voice cuts out over the loud background and she coughs heavily into her arm, the air on the screen is hazy and dark from the fallen buildings.

The banner streaming across the bottom of the screen shows ‘Times Square, NYC, in uproar after sudden explosion detonates, collapsing several buildings…’ I lose focus on the words as more images and videos appear, people bloodied and panicked, cars crushed on top of one another and hanging from torn out sections of broken buildings, and huge pavement chunks strewn all over the place. It’s an awful sight and just as I am looking away, the camera being shown pans over to a cleared-out area and a woman is rising from the destroyed ground. Her clothing looks odd, almost like she is wrapped in bedsheets, though it’s hard to distinguish with the dirt, blood, and the shakiness of the video.

My mother gasps loudly, her hand flinging to her chest before she vanishes with a heavy gust of wind. I push my hair out of my eyes and look at Asteria with confusion, her face mirroring mine. “What the hell was that about?” I ask, resting my hand on the banister.

She just shakes her head, glancing back at the screen as the video cuts out to black and flashes to another perspective, which also cuts out as well. All the subsequent shots are black and I can hear the news reporters’ voices growing frantic and Ria turns back to me. “I don’t know, but I have a feeling she knows who that was,” she gestures her head toward the television. “Go up and try to relax, I’ll stay here and wait for her return. Just shout if you need me for anything, okay?” her voice is back to that unfamiliar softness and I just nod my head.

I turn to make my way to my room, thinking about the awful situation in New York, hoping the affected people can pull through the ensuing turmoil and feel guiltily grateful that I don’t know anybody there. Opening my door, I find my room tidied and send silent thanks to my sister as I cross my room to my neatly made bed, sitting at the edge of it for a moment. I reach over and grab my cell off the nightstand and open my texts, tapping on my messages with Kyran. I notice there are a few texts from him and I put my phone back down, dropping my head into my hands with a groan as I can’t bring myself to read what he has said.

I push to my feet with a huff and not having the energy to sift through my volatile thoughts, I take advantage of the magical sedative, letting the numbness block out most things as I walk into my bathroom. I am fully aware that I am being ignorant, but introspection can start in an hour or so, after I’m clean and with a full belly.

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I feel a thousand times better as I step back into my bedroom wrapped head to toe in a matching set of a white fluffy towel, robe, and slippers. It’s amazing what some soaps, oils, and hot water can do for the soul. My stomach gurgles and I consider making my way down to the kitchen like this when a clink noise sounds across my room. I look over toward my vanity and find a dinner plate there, filled with my favorite foods and a glass of what I can only assume is Merlot. Smiling, I walk over and pick up the wine glass, taking a long sip and sigh in satisfaction. “I’m gonna need a lot more of this if I’m to make it through today in one piece,” I jest out loud, holding the glass up in the air.

I can hear Ria’s laughter echo up the stairs and a wine bottle appears beside the plate a moment later. With a smirk, I pick up the plate, leave the bottle and step out onto my balcony, settling in the spot Kyran and I had just sat together a couple of nights ago. My joy fades away as I think about him and what has happened. I shake my head lightly, knowing that I can’t deal with that at this moment and I shut it out for the time being. I sit back against the wall and look out over the yard as I eat, letting my mind drift naturally.

Thoughts of Luna cross my mind and I am happy to have her in my life. I feel…fuller, having her here. It wasn’t something I noticed before I was aware that all this shit existed, but since learning about magic, my mother and sister, Kyran and me—and everything involved with us—I felt like a part of me was missing. As if I wasn’t whole. Without my memories, I can understand why I still feel that way, not fully myself, even though Luna can speak with me now. My thoughts shift in the direction of the mate bond and I push it away, picking up my wine glass and finishing it.

I go to grab my empty plate and it disappears as my fingers graze the edge. I chuckle my thanks to my sister again, assuming she can probably hear me somehow and I rise to my feet. Stepping over to the worn railing, I lean on my elbows, dangling the glass between my fingers as I watch the clouds float lazily overhead. I sigh heavily, not knowing where to even begin within myself as I contemplate which thoughts to sort out first. After a few moments of watching the sky, I close my eyes and sift my way back through all the shit to the beginning of the sleep dive. Memories and images of Kyran flash through my mind, of him going through his own troubles and I let it fade away, feeling my chest tighten at the thought of him right now. I can’t face him in reality and apparently, I also can’t face him in my memories, either.

I push forward through my recollection and the terrifying sensation of being swept underwater overcomes me and I gasp out loud, quickly backing out of the memories and imagining only a blank canvas. The sharp sound of shattering glass startles my eyes open and I realize that I’ve dropped my wine glass onto the patio below.

“Selene?” Asteria’s voice calls out to me with concern from inside our home, “are you alright?”

“Yeah, sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” I yell back to her, scrunching my nose.

“It’s okay,” her voice is less tight now as she responds, “hey, watch this!”

I’m about to ask what when glittering shards of glass float upward over the railing, shimmering like stars in the sunlight as they swirl around one another and coalesce into the wine glass once more in mid-air. I hesitantly reach my hand out to grasp it and a laugh bubbles out from my chest in astonishment. Quickly leaning over the banister, I meet Ria’s wide grin with one of my own and hold the glass up.

“That was awesome,” I gush, honestly impressed.

“Tch, that was nothing. Wait until you remember all the crazy shit we used to do with my magic,” she trails off, shaking her head with a laugh.

“I can’t wait,” I say earnestly, smiling down at her.

My towel starts to slide off my head and I straighten, pulling it down and draping it over the railing. I cross my room and snag the bottle of wine, taking it downstairs and meeting Ria in the kitchen. I refill my glass and set the bottle down on the counter, taking a sip as she turns around and hands me a spoon. I raise an eyebrow at her in silent question and she smirks, holding her hands out with her palms facing upward. Two pints of ice cream manifest in her hands and she holds out one to me. I gleefully take it, quickly placing my glass down and hurry over to the couch.

My sister joins me and turns the television on, choosing an episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch and I narrow my gaze at her with a grin as we settle in together, quietly enjoying our sweet treats.