image [https://i.imgur.com/O38Rr53.jpeg]

The summoners gathered around the arcane circle, candles flickering and ancient texts open to the right pages. They chanted, their voices rising in a crescendo meant to pierce through the veil and summon an eldritch horror. Their leader, Warren, raised his hands, feeling the dark energy swirl.

The portal shimmered, greenish smoke curling into the room. But instead of a monstrous horror, a small voice echoed out of the center.

“Hello!” he chirped, bouncing on his tiny clawed feet. “I’m Cthulhu Jr.! Who’re you?”

The summoners exchanged glances. This wasn’t the Great Old One they were expecting.

“Uh... hi there, little buddy,” Warren said, trying to recover. “Is your dad around?”

Cthulhu Jr. pouted, folding his little tentacle arms. “Dad’s busy. He told me to answer the calls while he’s out destroying a galaxy or something.” His eyes lit up. “I just came from hockey practice! Wanna hear about it?”

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“Uh…” Warren began, but Cthulhu Jr. plowed ahead.

“So I was trying to pass the puck, right? And Billy kept blocking me!” Cthulhu Jr. waved his tiny tentacles in frustration. “But then Coach told me to focus, so I went around him and scored! My tentacle slapshot is getting sooo much better!”

One of the summoners whispered, “Maybe if we ask him to get his mom?”

Warren nodded and cleared his throat. “Hey, Jr., could you maybe get your mom? It’s kinda important.”

Cthulhu Jr. scrunched up his face in thought, then shook his head. “She’s busy, too. She’s helping Dad with the galaxy stuff.” He grinned proudly. “They said they’d bring me back a star fragment if they find one!”

Another summoner stepped forward. “Listen, kid, we’re trying to summon your dad because we need, uh, ancient eldritch power to conquer our enemies?”

Cthulhu Jr. perked up. “Oh! I can totally help with that! Watch this!”

On the other end of the line, Junior held up a tiny claw and squinted in concentration, his little face screwing up with effort. The ground rumbled, and the summoners looked around, alarmed, as a small green slime oozed from the floorboards and then… stopped.

“There! I summoned goo!” he announced, beaming.

The summoners stared at the pathetic puddle.

Warren sighed, rubbing his temples. “Okay, Junior, that’s great. But maybe next time... could you put in a good word with your dad?”

“Oh, sure!” said Cthulhu Jr., giving them a thumbs-up. “Just come back next Saturday. That’s when we’re not busy with hockey tournaments!”