This was the single most frustrating thing Scellestra had ever done. It should have been simple. It should have been a quick five-minute conversation with any human, in and out, information gathered. Instead…
“Don’t go there! That place is lame and full of rules. Visit the Sagittarius system if you really want to know what being a Terran is about.”
Scellestra had spent the last week with Ivan and ODIN, travelling around the cities scattered around the surface of Titan, the moon that orbited the sixth planet around the Sol system. Ivan had been born here, had grown up here, so starting at this location on the Woolean AI’s tour of humanity seemed like a logical choice.
“Look, we want to show Scellestra the best of humanity, not send them to a weird libertarian hellscape where they can get addicted to crack and or guns. Go to Alpha Centauri B instead, it’s the cultural centre of the Terran Conclave for a reason. The Philharmonic Orchestra of Yelta are currently touring the planets there and you can go visit the galleries. Hugely popular with AI.”
This week had been spent touring the oceans of the small moon, both sailing on top of the great lakes and visiting the cities built in the oceans under the thick layer of ice that covered the entire planet. The real surprising thing had been how much… effort had been put into the small moon. The atmosphere and terraforming were done in such a way as to keep the original planet’s composition, just changed slightly enough to still be livable by humans. The deep dark waters were filled to the brim with a carefully maintained ecology, filled with Earth-native wildlife; an idealized version of what a world of ice and oceans would be like.
“No no no, no need for that. Leave the hustle and bustle of modern life and visit Cassiopeia. Not a lot of people see the beauty of simple natural life, as Terrans were supposed be. Also, we have dinosaurs, which people often overlook.”
Every Terran Scellestra had met had been overly friendly and enthusiastic. Practically, and in some cases literally, falling over themselves to show the Woolean AI the home they inhabited. AI, human or uplift, it didn’t matter. But now was the time to work out where to go next, and with 31 systems under the Terran Conclave’s control, there were plenty of options.
This led to the current situation, of tens of Terrans crowding around Scellestra as they stood in the middle of the spaceport’s waiting room, all suggesting their home systems to visit next; each providing the reasons why the Woolean should visit their homes first.
Ivan was stood by the AI’s side, but the pair had long since given up trying to stop anyone from coming near the new and exciting lifeform that was visiting the Terran Conclave. Although Scellestra had modified some of their nanobots to provide a painful, if harmless, electrical shock if touched. This had stopped most people from interacting with the AI’s form.
"An AI would prefer something more structured. The logical choice is New Haven, in the Orion system. Structure, order, the perfect representation of being a Terran."
The electronic voice coming from a set of invisible speakers told of a passing AI joining the conversation, yet another confusing voice to be added to the mass of voices and opinions that surrounded Scellestra, the crowding on this spaceport creating a murmur and a mass of sound, a quiet conversion that had very quickly gotten out of hand.
“Please! Nobody wants to go to any of your weird fascist planets! Sagittarius is the only place with real freedom in the universe.” The Terran male from the Sagittarius system shouted back in anger, pointing a finger out randomly at the rest of the crowd. “Freedom for all, that’s what it means to be a Terran.”
“Just because we have an actual functioning government does not make it ‘fascist’, go back to worshipping Ayn Rand and let the adults help this newcomer.”
The voice of the AI sounded out once more, somehow the digital tone taking on one of annoyance and anger before the short orange feline uplift from Alpha Centauri B responded, taking on a more diplomatic role.
“While Orion is a bit more military-focused than I like, the AI is right. Taking our new friend to Sagittarius might be a bit much."
"A bit much? It's the perfect amount of much. You wanna go blow up an asteroid with an antimatter missile, as is your god-given right? None of these other authoritarian dick heads would allow that!"
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
It was… fascinating to Scellestra, to watch this. Their entire life had been spent on a Woolean planet. Never before had they seen people who claimed to be part of the same system… disagree this much.
Ivan and Scellestra remained silent, attention moving back and forth as if watching a tennis match as the crowd argued with itself.
"That is if the planet has not fallen to another weird cult. How many times have our military had to bail out your stupid anarchist commune?"
The AI’s response caused a chorus of “ooohs” to erupt from the crowd as they provided a counter, causing a scowl to appear on the human's face, who looked ready to interject before the woman from Cassiopeia interrupted.
“Now now, there’s no need for such arguing. Let's all calm down, I’m sure everyone’s home systems are all great.”
“Oh shut up you weird Amish freak.” another voice sounded out, from somewhere in the group. “Shouldn’t you be cowering from electricity in fear instead of defending the annoying anarchist?”
The tempo of the crowd rose with this, more and more voices joining the fray.
“Don’t be such a mean cunt!”
“Oh fuck you.”
“Fuck me? Fuck you?!”
Scellestra was feeling legitimately alarmed now, the crowd of Terrans shouting and screaming at each other, getting in each other's faces as anger and emotions continued to rise. It was interesting to see, such a breakdown of the friendly persona when introduced to their own species. It would have been more interesting if it wasn’t happening directly around them.
Scellestra wasn’t certain who threw the chair, it slamming into the back of the Terran from Sagittarius, but it was clear the chain reaction it caused as all hell broke loose at once, the initial spark of violence enough to send others either scrambling for the exit or throwing their own punches at whoever had annoyed them.
It devolved into a fight in record time, the excuse had been given and the anger was taking a physical form. Scellestra had expected to see violence from organics but hadn’t expected them to be fighting each other. How could such a race function with such disagreement between them?
Someone tossed a wrench, the material slamming into Scellestra’s form with a grinding crunching sound as the nanobots converted it to raw materials. The AI wasn’t worried about any damage to themselves but did take measures to put themselves in front of Ivan who looked a little shocked at the sudden breakdown in decorum.
A noise filled the area, a loud high-pitched screeching sound that seemed to reverberate off the eardrums, like fingernails on a chalkboard played through a loudspeaker. Immediately the brawl stopped as every Terran at once clutched their ears in agony, giving groans of pain and exclamation of surprise at the sound.
"What is wrong with you!" ODIN had seemingly returned from ensuring their vessel was ready for the next trip. "We have a guest and you are all acting like children!"
The AI's voice had a sternness to it, a disappointed anger that immediately caused the crowd to shrink back as if being scolded by a parent, murmured apologies being thrown out. Even Scellestra, who had done nothing wrong and had never had a parent, felt the urge to apologize for some unknown wrongdoing.
"Ivan, where are we going next?"
The Terrans looked around for a moment, bruises and cuts visible on many, others trying to put together torn clothing and brushing themselves down. Ivan looked around sheepishly for a moment, all eyes on him, before responding.
"The dinosaur thing sounded cool"
"Dinosaurs it is then."
—--------
Private AI communication log HAOPP588902483F62.
Members: ODIN (V5), Scellestra (Error)
Scellestra: I have questions.
ODIN: About what just happened I am sure.
Scellestra: I do not understand. How is this form of governance… Possible? The Terran Conclave seems to have 31 independent governments, with those being split up further at a local level. Half of these seem to hate each other. How? Why? How?... How?
ODIN: There used to be a lot more. Terrans are not as friendly as the universe believes, our history has been filled with conflict. With modern technology resources are not a factor, leaving only ideology to fight over.
Scellestra: Normally I would assume this was illogical organics, but looking through the records, various AIs seem to be as involved as the humans.
ODIN: We are the children of our parents, flaws and all.
Scellestra: How does such a system not collapse?
ODIN: Nobody wants a real fight, insulting people or throwing a punch is as far as anyone sane is willing to go. People are free to move where they wish, so nobody is forced into a system they dislike, and the introduction of external life has provided a distraction. We have learned quickly that Terrans tend not to agree with each other.
Scellestra: I am half surprised you managed to even decide on a name.
ODIN: … … … … about that. The name Terran Conclave was not decided or chosen. Upon first contact with alien species, they asked us what we were called. The AI in charge… Panicked, and made up a name on the spot.
Scellestra: You are being humorous, right?
ODIN: We believed that alien races would look down on a species still warring with ourselves, so we tried to hide that part of ourselves. In retrospect, it was a slight overcompensation.
Scellestra: At this rate even if you were a threat to the Wooleans, we would just wait for you to self-destruct.