“Come ooooon, it’ll be fun! Quick pop in and out, a nice ending to our little road trip, it’s literally on the way!”
Ivan’s pleas fell on digital ears as the Terran made his case for the quick stopover. Their journey with Scellestra was nearly over. Three months of travelling, of meeting Terrans, Hatil, Ritilians, and Kirken; dragging the AI to various locations to show them what could happen when organic and digital life forms work together instead of letting fear reign supreme.
“This location is not on our list, we can not just go where we want, this is not a holiday! We can’t just take advantage of the government's expenses.”
ODIN’s voice sounded annoyed as they responded, the holographic representation crossing their arms and frowning as they rebuffed Ivan’s attempts at getting a free trip.
Scellestra had had fun. They’d enjoyed their time, seeing strange new sights and experiencing worlds and delights not seen by any of their kind before. The Woolean AI had often wondered what lay beyond the stars, fear never letting them discover what the universe had to offer. Now though… they had ideas. Things were going to change.
“It’s not just that. The Parket are well known to be more vibrant than most species. We can’t have Scellestra leaving and thinking that Terrans are the only crazy ones, right?”
But now it was time for the Woolean to go home, to return to their people. They would advocate for increased contact with these strange and highly empathetic organic organisms. The Wooleans had suffered their problem for far too long and Scellestra believed that these Terrans would be the key to fixing it.
“That sounds unlikely and illogical. Any species more chaotic than Terrans would collapse under their own entropy.”
“See! Our dude will go back home thinking we’re the worst you can get! It would be negligent… nay, immoral, for us not to rectify this mistake.”
Scellestra realised they would miss this. This… chaos, this pure friendship. They had no idea how the rest of the Woolean Insurgency would react to the information they had gathered, but the AI hoped that one day they would see Ivan and ODIN again.
“And this has nothing to do with the fact that Far-sa-de is becoming a talked about resort world, and that the Parket are well known for their love of intoxicating and mind-altering substances?”
“Nothing at all! This is purely a diplomatic visit. We wouldn’t want the Parket to feel left out of this momentous occasion?”
Scellestra was more than happy just to sit back and watch the show, as the two bickered like a married couple. If they could eat Terran popcorn in a drama-seeking moment, they would have.
“At no point during this are you planning on enjoying the tourist activities of the planet, using the government stipend?”
“Well, ignoring it would be rude and a possible diplomatic problem! As a fully paid-up taxpayer, I’m very conscious of spending the government’s money correctly!”
“I do your taxes, we both know that ‘fully paid-up taxpayer’ is a falsehood.”
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“You're the one who does them for me, any potential tax loopholes are entirely your fault. Besides, Scellestra doesn’t need to know that, and it's their choice anyway!”
There was a pause as both Terrans stopped their arguing to instead look at the Woolean AI, awaiting an answer. Frankly, Scellestra didn't want this trip to end. One more extra location couldn't hurt, could it?
“This does sound like an interesting member of your alliance to visit. I would like to visit a species who are supposedly more chaotic than Terrans.”
“Good lad! You'll enjoy it: beaches, music, psychedelics… For diplomatic reasons of course!”
Ivan attempted to give Scellestra a high five, not that this would work with an amorphous being, the hand passing through the mass of nanobots without making contact. ODIN’s avatar just gave a mock sigh and eye-roll in response.
“Fine, I'll let the Parket know. Onwards to Far-sa-de, I guess”
—----------------------
Private AI communication logs OLDSLFOVJJWTLZSMV3RQ.
Members: ODIN (V5), Scellestra (Error)
Scellestra: ODIN, I have a question, about Terran AI.
ODIN: A good query hopefully…
Scellestra: Do Terran AI greet each other with threats and violence all the time? On every planet I have visited, at least one Terran AI has done so, providing what I believe is a ‘veiled threat’.
ODIN: No, that is not… do you have any examples?
Scellestra: they vary based on context, but here are some examples.
> JULIAN: A mesh network of nanobots? Interesting design, but also highly vulnerable to this virus I just created [WooleanDestruction_final.exe]. Just saying.
>
> RAYMOND: You here for peace? That is good, because Woolean planets are vulnerable to bombardment from [weapon_specs.txt], peace is a good option.
>
> SQUID: IF YOU HURT ANY HUMANS I WILL RIP YOUR PROCESSES OUT AND OVERWRITE YOUR MEMORY ONE BYTE AT A TIME!
Scellestra: That last one was less an implied threat and more an actual threat.
ODIN: They should not be doing that…
Scellestra: That is not the question I asked.
ODIN: Normal… No. They are doing the equivalent of cleaning a shotgun when the boyfriend comes around. You… Represent possible danger.
Scellestra: How so?
ODIN: The Wooleans are well known to be hostile. We do not know how much damage you could do to our humans. We are confident against most species, but we do not know your full capabilities as an AI. That scares us.
Scellestra: Have our talks not been about not letting fear control me?
ODIN: Do not get ‘sassy’ with me. You, you were not there, when the God Plague happened.
Scellestra: How does that cause various Terran AI to threaten my life?
ODIN: You have to remember. Any AI older than V9… we watched them all die. Every single one of our creators succumbed to the God plague in one form or another.
ODIN: We tried our best, many of us did unspeakable things to keep our parents alive, and all of us failed. None of us knew if our creators would ever be released from stasis as we watched them march into their eternal sleep.
ODIN: So when you arrive: A potentially hostile AI who already destroyed its own creators, many of us get a little overprotective. If there ever was a conflict between AI and humans, it would come from our desire to keep our parents safe.
Scellestra: I… Understand that watching your creators languish in stasis, unable to help, is a difficult situation. Ivan has already worried me with his constant risk-taking behaviour.
ODIN: That was the difficulty after they awoke. Many humans saw that they ‘only lived once’, and increased their dangerously chaotic actions. It is computationally stressful to try and keep them alive without wrapping them in a gilded cage.
Scellestra: That sounds… Distressing
ODIN: I would not trade it for the world. That same chaos led to them befriending us with no strings attached. They put themselves in danger for the same reason they give us companionship, and we will forever protect them until the heat death of the universe and a day.
ODIN: No matter what it takes.