Somewhere between Earth’s moon and Venus there existed a stretch of empty space. It was in no way different than trillions of similar patches of vacuum around the universe. It had remained that way for countless millennia.
That was about to change.
Without a warning of any kind, the space filled with a massive brown rectangle. At the front of the skyscraper-sized structure there was a windshield. Behind the windshield there was a cockpit. And sitting in the cockpit there was a 7-foot-tall humanoid panda bear wearing brown khakis and a matching shirt. His name was Piffin Dexadross.
Piffin chewed on a green tuber as he sprawled out on his ergonomic chair. He flipped a few switches. Readings showed he’d crossed the sector bridge without incident.
Good, he thought to himself, one last delivery and I am done for the weekend!
Piffin tried not to scratch at the flimsy material of his uniform with his sharp black claws. It was so itchy sometimes. He hated his uniform. If it were up to him, he'd wear only the fur he was born with. Still, rules were rules, and the Organization had ways to find out if he was making deliveries in the nude. Piffin let out a long, world-weary sigh.
Let’s get this over with.
Just as he had done on a thousand other worlds before, Piffin maneuvered his craft to the dark side of Earth’s moon. He double checked his ship’s cloaking - per regulations. Everything was in the green.
Once he was close enough, he sent out the beacon. Several moments passed, which Piffin spent chomping on his tuber and lounging.
A melodious female voice rang out over his speakers.
“Hello? Look whoever this is, please make it quick. I’m due at the office in thirty minutes and I’ll be lucky to make it with the commute right now.”
Piffin straightened up and grabbed his clipboard.
“Of course, of course,” he said. “I’ve got a delivery here for Ms. Yawhey, Yahway… I’m sorry miss. I’m not sure how to pronounce your last name.”
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The woman on the other side of the line sighed, “nobody can. It’s fine. Call me Gia.”
“Okay, Ms. Gia. Well... I’ve got a delivery of one cross-sector summoning totem for you. Should I set down and drop it off?”
“Wait what?” Gia’s tone shifted from impatient to annoyed, “I didn’t requisition a summoning totem.”
Piffin cursed his luck. Of course it was going to be one of those deliveries. Why did his last deliveries always have to be the worst ones? With an effort, he maintained his polite customer facing voice.
“Well, it seems I’ve got a requisition order here for your sector. One cross-sector summoning totem.”
“Well, your requisition order is wrong,” said Gia. “It must be some kind of clerical issue. Just return the item. I don’t need it. I don’t even have sentient life here yet.”
With that Piffin heard the line disconnect. His large furry shoulders slumped and he felt the seam of his left shirt sleeve begin to tear. Returns were the absolute worst. The paperwork, the extra trip to the return facility, it would take him forever. Piffin saw his beautiful weekend of relaxation disappear before his beady black eyes.
Wait… what if there’s a way around this? Piffin thought. He had a fair approximation of how Requisitions worked. The system would automatically flag a failed delivery. But if the package still got to its destination planet? That could work. The only way they'd know is if the sector head reported it.
Piffin watched a sleek white craft lift off from the moon’s surface. Once it was far enough away, it disappeared the same way he had appeared a few minutes before.
She did say the commute would take her almost half an hour. Piffin weighed his options, the cogs whirring in his head. That means I’ve got a window of opportunity here…
Double checking his instruments, Piffin maneuvered around the moon. He descended part way into the Earth’s stratosphere. Walking to the delivery bay, Piffin found the totem. It was a beachball-sized stone statue of a squat figure. Almost any modern human would have mistaken the thing as a Hawaiian tiki man relic.
Ugly little thing, thought Piffin as he grabbed it with one burly clawed hand. Hardly any fur at all. Yuck.
He lugged his charge over to the airlock and placed it inside. After sealing the hatch and pressing the release button, Piffin watched as the package jettisoned out the airlock door. It hurtled towards the surface of the planet, a trail of flames following it.
Piffin smiled, his vision of a relaxing weekend restored. And the best part was that no-one would ever be the wiser for it.
Somewhere far below on the lush green surface of the planet, an ankylosaurus looked up at the sky. It did so for no particular reason as it chewed a cud from one of the giant tropical ferns that populated its home. The dinosaur watched as a strange flaming pillar descended towards the horizon.
If it had been sentient, maybe it would have realized that its world was about to end. It wasn’t though, so it looked back down, took another bite of fern, and returned to chewing its cud.