“So you aren’t a demon lord?” Felix asked. Ever since he’d woken up, the entire conversation had been surreal.

“Naw,” said the panda, “That was just a bit of theater. These contract signings are negotiations, right? You never know what kind of weirdo is going to try to summon you, so sometimes it’s best to go in with the fire and brimstone. Know what I mean? Gives you a leg up in the power dynamic.”

Felix nodded, still struck a bit dumb by the situation. The panda seemed to misinterpret his shock.

“Oh don’t you worry, pal. The fact that Arry loaned you that pen tells me you’ve got to be a pretty stand-up guy. We don’t have to go through all that nonsense. If Arry trusts you, Piffin Dexadross trusts you.”

Again, Felix weakly smiled at the panda man, who apparently was named Piffin. He decided he wouldn't correct him about the misbegotten origins of Arry’s pen. Gathering his thoughts and his courage, Felix decided he’d just go with it.

“Ok,” said Felix, somewhat himself again. “Next question. Why are you wearing what looks like a prisoner’s uniform?”

Piffin paused to look down at his numbered orange jumpsuit. “Right, that,” Piffin said. “Well, there’s a perfectly good reason for that.”

Silence stretched on. After a few seconds, Felix realized Piffin wasn’t going to expand on this admission.

“Which is…?” Felix pressed, trying to put steel in his voice and failing miserably.

“Which is because I’m a prisoner,” finished Piffin, as if Felix was slow in the head. “When the Organization decides to imprison a divine tier entity, we’re given several options to help pass the time. One of those options is to serve as a summoned contracted creature. There’s a hell of a long waiting list, but I pulled some strings with my old buddy Arry to get a spot in this sector.”

“So being a summoned creature is like court-mandated community service?” Felix asked.

Piffin gave a decidedly carnivorous grin. “More like recess,” he said. “Actually being a part of a mortal world again, on the ground, in the thick of it - it almost makes a few million years in prison worth it. Almost.”

Felix stared at the giant muscular panda bear. Part of him wanted to hug Piffin - the panda’s fur had an enchanting aura about it that made it look so incredibly soft as it poked out from the orange jumpsuit. Another - far saner - part of Felix wanted to run in terror from the bearlike demigod who was apparently millions of years old and a convict. Did he dare ask what crime Piffin committed to get that kind of sentence?

Piffin continued on, unaware of Felix’s inner turmoil.

“The only problem is that the conditions and restrictions for summoning me are super specific, which further reduces the probability that I’ll be one of the ones chosen. That’s why I’m so surprised to be summoned by you! To think, a basic tier human was able to summon me to a Common-Grade planet. The low mana-density alone should have made that impossible! Are we maybe related?”

Before Felix had a chance to respond, Piffin looked away, lost in thought. He scratched at his chin and began to mutter. “I don’t remember bedding too many humans back in the day, but maybe one had a kid? But our species shouldn’t be cross-compatible, right? If we aren’t related, what other karmic bonds would be strong enough...”

Felix took the time to process some of the panda-humanoid’s statements as Piffin puttered about, reflecting. After a moment, Felix’s pulse quickened at a realization.

“So you’re pretty strong then?” he asked.

Piffin looked up from his murmurings and chuckled. He flexed one massive bicep. “Strong enough to punch a hole in this world, little human.”

Felix’s heartbeat now raced.

This is the answer! This is my OP isekai moment where everything goes my way. I have the chance to be backed by a freaking demigod.

Felix tried to keep his tone calm as he asked his next question, but even he could hear the desperate hope in his voice.

“So if you become my contracted familiar, you can fight for me and protect me?” he asked.

Piffin made as if to speak, his body language exuding supreme confidence. Then the panda paused, as if remembering something he’d forgotten.

“Hold on one second,” he said, lifting a clawed index finger. Piffin’s eyes grew distant, and Felix realized he was checking his own user interface. Hardly able to breathe in anticipation, Felix watched Piffin’s face for any detectable emotion. The panda bear looked confused at first, then resigned, and Felix’s hopes for the summoned familiar fixing all his problems dropped precipitously.

“So some good news and some bad news,” said Piffin, who wrapped his claws around a Felix-sized sapling, ripped it from the ground, and started munching on its tip in one fluid, practiced motion.

“Good news is that we can do this summoning at all. Can’t stress enough how highly irregular that is.” It was a bit hard to hear the panda man through his chewing and the cracking branches, but somehow Felix managed.

“Bad news is it comes with some serious limitations, which will make me pretty useless in a fight. Your race grade, mana pool, and this planet’s mana-density: all of it is too low to sustain even a fraction of my true strength. Just having me here will be taxing.”

“So what does that mean?” Felix asked, he sat down in the dirt. It felt as if the rise and crash of his hopes had physically exhausted him.

“A few things,” said Piffin. He began to count them off on his claws.

“One: all my stats are permanently capped at 10 points. That makes me the equivalent of an average mundane tier entity, which isn’t completely useless but also isn’t going to save the day if you’re in trouble.

Two: All my skill, tier, and title effects are sealed.

Three: You can only summon me for one hour a day with a 24-hour cooldown. This world can’t handle more of me than that. Not until your mana pool is big enough to share more of the burden.

Four: The entirety of your mana pool will have to be designated to my summoning for the duration of that hour.”

Felix threw up his hands in frustration. “Well it sounds like you’ll be almost no use at all!” he exclaimed.

“Is that what you think?” Piffin asked. He then gave another one of his carnivorous smiles as his jaws chomped shut. Felix could hear Piffin’s molars crunching through what must have been a particularly large stick.

Felix gulped. After an uncomfortable few seconds of locking eyes with the giant panda, he finally gathered his wits enough to ask the question that Piffin was evidently waiting for.

“Then what can you do for me?”

Piffin’s grin only grew wider. “What else can an all-knowing immortal do for a mortal?” he asked, his tone rhetorical and matter-of-fact. “Teach.”

-

In the end, Felix made the only sensible choice. Both he and Piffin negotiated terms before signing the contract with Arry’s pen. The terms were for one year, at which point Felix - if he had the resources and mana pool necessary - would renegotiate new terms with the help of another rare tier or higher summoning scroll.

Once the contract was signed, the hide scroll evaporated in a mote of light along with Piffin. Felix felt a new part of his inner sense of self expand to include a spot for his summoned familiar. He focused on it until he felt something click internally. Another golden mote of light reappeared, depositing Piffin Dexadross onto the loamy soil. This time, the orange jumpsuit was gone. The panda had evidently decided to go all-natural for his daily hour of freedom.

“Yes!” Piffin shouted, fist pumping the sky. He breathed in a deep breath of forest air, cherishing the scent. “It feels so good to be outside and on a world again.”

After a minute or two of basking in the dappled sunlight, Piffin was back to business.

“All right,” said the Panda, his tone serious. Felix tried not to flinch as a heavy claw clapped him on the shoulder. “First things first. You and I need to get on the same page. Felix, what do you think the most important part of any partnership is?”

Felix pondered for a moment, but the only thing he could think of was some cliche relationship advice.

“Communication?”

The bear clapped his shoulder again, this time almost sending Felix to the ground with its force.

“Almost, but not quite. It's clear communication and mutually aligned goals.” The bear gave Felix an expectant look, and Felix nodded.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

“Good, good.” Piffin continued. “With that in mind, what are your goals here, kid? What do you want?”

Felix blinked. The question stumped him for a moment. He said the first thing that came to mind.

“To live?”

The panda gave an impatient shuffle. “Yeah, yeah, that's a given. Try thinking a bit bigger.”

Taking a moment to ponder, Felix realized what Piffin meant. I've just been reacting to everything so far. Except for getting my skills and surviving, I haven't thought of my future at all.

The faces of his family popped into his head.

“To get back to Earth and see my family again,” he said, his tone resolute.

Again, Piffin waffled. “Yeah, a bit too big there bud. That’s going to take a lot longer than a year. Try for something shorter term.”

When Felix struggled to come up with a better answer, Piffin spoke up again, this time slower, as if he was dealing with a student with a learning disability.

“Tell you what, here’s my goal. I'm going to make you as strong as possible as fast as possible. That way, you’ll live long enough to renegotiate our contract, and be strong enough to reduce my limitations and increase the amount of time I spend out of prison. Got it? Now, do you have any mid-term goals that align with that?”

Felix nodded. “I guess I’d like to be strong enough not to worry about dying all the time. And I’d like to be wealthy enough to restart my collecting hobby.”

“Perfect!” said Piffin, making a motion to clap Felix on the shoulder again, before noticing the human’s anticipatory flinch. He nodded sharply instead. “I can work with that.”

Piffin’s first act was to command Felix to recount everything he could about his reincarnation and first days in Aelor. Felix started with waking up in the abyss, told a heavily edited version of what happened with Arry, particularly as it related to the pen. He also didn't directly mention which skills he chose, remembering with embarrassment Arry’s reaction. Instead, he went into details about his harsh arrival and subsequent misfortunes.

Once Felix finished, Piffin let out a low whistle. “I can’t tell if your luck stat is extremely low or extremely high,” he said at last. “On that note, why don’t you go ahead and show me your stats, titles, and skills.”

Piffin instructed Felix on the mental commands to do so. With relief, Felix realized he could pick and choose what information he shared. He made sure to hide his “Divine Thief” and “Curse of Arcadeus’ Petty Wrath” titles, as well as edit out the oddly personalized descriptions that might cast him in a bad light. After another thought, he also removed his +50% luck bonus from his stat sheet, since it was related to his Divine Thief Title.

Piffin made few comments as he went through Felix’s Character Sheet, other than to warn Felix not to spend his free stat points yet. Felix was just grateful that Piffin didn’t roast him about his deplorably low starting stat points in endurance, dexterity, and charisma.

Once at the end of the character sheet, Piffin looked up.

“I've seen worse,” he said at last. “Your luck, perception, and intelligence are very solid for your level, and it looks like you’ve already got a great piece of gear there judging by the stats.” The bear’s eyes tracked down to Felix’s furry pants. “Did you get an item description for those?”

Felix recounted it as best he could, not wanting to undress and put the pants back into his Merchants Inventory for a description.

Piffin let out another whistle. “Been a long time since I’ve seen living gear like that. Sort of a double edged sword, but they can become powerful.”

“Is it like a growth weapon,” Felix asked, hopeful.

“Can be,” said Piffin. “Depends on the innate potential of the base materials and what it eats, but it definitely is possible.”

Looking at his odd pants with newfound appreciation, Felix made a mental note to quiz Piffin later on how and what to feed his furry friend.

They moved on. When Piffin got to the title sheet, however, the bear’s brow shot up in surprise.

Title Sheet:

Jack of No Trades, Master of One (Unique)

Title Effects:

1. Skill Synergy: You are able to apply effects between your skills at will for one hour a day, subverting skill restrictions when applicable. Cool down is 24 hours.

Outworlder (Unique)

Title Effects:

1. You are able to summon one random edible arrangement a day. Cool down is 24 hours.

The Gravity of the Situation (Rare)

Title Effect:

1. Ultralight: Gravity has only a 50% effect on you. Warning, this ability cannot be toggled off.

Captain Ahab (Uncommon)

Title Effects:

1. Well that was Unexpected!: Luck +5

2. To the Victor Goes the Spoils: Loot taken from monsters or spirit beasts will be more valuable

“Damn,” said Piffin. For once at a loss for words. “You’re still a basic tier human, been here less than two days, and you’ve already got four titles: two at the unique tier, one uncommon and one rare?”

“Is that good?” Felix asked, part of him wanted to show the other two titles he had hidden, but he didn’t want to risk Piffin getting angry over the whole pen thing.

“Good?” Piffin exclaimed, shaking his head. “I didn’t get a rare tier title until I was halfway through the rare tier race evolution. Most people are lucky to get one or two titles before Common, and you have four. Admittedly, the effect of that Outworlder title sounds pretty useless, but the other three could be extremely powerful. You must be some kind of prodigy.”

Felix puffed up his chest with pride at the compliment.

Maybe I didn't screw up all my choices so far. The thought gave his recently shattered ego a much needed boost. Then another thought struck him. Did Piffin say he used to be at the rare tier? Does that mean he started out as a mortal?

Before Felix could ask the question, Piffin glanced back at the list and started speaking again, “I haven’t even seen this unique title before. Jack of No Trades, Master of One? What kind of skill selections did you have to pick to get that one?”

Not waiting for Felix to answer, Piffin shifted his gaze to Felix’s skill sheet page. Reading it, his jaw dropped.

“I take it back Felix,” he said after a long pause, during which he reread the skill sheet multiple times. “You aren’t a prodigy. You’re a celestials damned moron.”

Felix’s shoulders slumped.

So much for that ego boost.

-

After spending several minutes explaining to Felix why he was a celestials damned moron for choosing three variations of the same skill - a utility skill no less - during which phrases like “limited potential,” “unnecessary redundancy,” and “wasted opportunity” were used multiple times, Piffin was finally able to calm down. The panda-man spent another minute meditating in silence, before opening his eyes.

“It’s not as bad as I originally thought,” Piffin said at last. Felix let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. Piffin continued on. “I have a couple ideas on how we can get you at least to the level where you won’t be killed by the first slightly aggravated bunny rabbit you encounter.”

At the mention of rabbit, Felix’s stomach growled loudly. More than 12 hours had passed since he’d eaten anything, and that had only been a bit of fruit. Felix’s body was voicing its complaints.

Piffin looked down at Felix’s protesting stomach. “Well, let’s do something about that first,” he said. Felix wanted to cry in relief at those words.

It only took Piffin a couple minutes to yank several decent sized fish from the nearby stream. His razor sharp claws cleaned the fish in seconds, depositing them in bite sized chunks into the dented paint can Felix provided from his inventory.

Next Piffin asked Felix to give him enough sticks and tinder to start a fire. Felix had plenty of such materials in his Porter’s Inventory, and supplied them readily. Giving another flick of his claws on a stone, Piffin easily set the tinder ablaze with the resulting sparks.

Piffin next instructed Felix to fill the rest of the can up with water. Felix did so, walking carefully to the stream’s edge. Piffin chuckled as he watched Felix’s labored movements.

“Don’t worry, kid,” he said. “We’re going to start working on those stat adaptations tomorrow.” Felix let out a sigh of relief at the statement. This familiar thing was already proving more valuable that he could have hoped for.

The last thing Piffin did before cooking the fish was to ask Felix to empty any kinds of plant life he’d picked up on his walk. Felix did so, and Piffin identified a couple of edible varieties and added them to the pot, along with the roots of the Dragon’s Breath Fern, which Felix had to recollect from the remainder of the debris pile.

Felix swallowed mouth after mouth of saliva as he watched Piffin bring the fish soup to a simmer over the open flame. It was all he could do to not reach out and grab the boiling pot. After a few minutes, Piffin took the soup off the flame and set the can down to rest, cautioning Felix to be patient.

“I’m going to help you out like this the first couple times,” Piffin said as they waited, “but pretty soon you’re going to have to learn all this yourself.”

Felix nodded fervently, his eyes glued to the steaming pot of fish. When it was cool enough, Piffin handed it to Felix.

“Eat slowly,” Piffin cautioned. “Your stomach probably can’t take everything at once.”

It took every ounce of Felix’s determination to sit there and slowly sip at the soup. Even without salt, it was one of the best things he had ever tasted.

Letting out a loud burp some minutes later, Felix felt full for the first time since before the auction. It was difficult to count time, given all the inter-reality travel and whatnot, but he figured it had been at least two days since he’d had a proper meal.

For the remaining half hour of his summon time, Piffin helped Felix rebuild his paltry little beaver’s den into a proper-looking survival shelter, the panda bear’s claws proving extraordinarily versatile tools when it came to shaping wood. Throughout it all, Piffin gave Felix various bits of survival advice: including the suggestion that Felix ensure that anything that smelled of food was stored away in his inventory before he bathed downstream and went to sleep. Felix nodded and absorbed the information - a better student than he’d been in all of his years of university.

In what seemed like no time at all, Piffin’s hour was up. The panda bear man disappeared once more into a golden mote of light.

Per his new mentor’s instructions, Felix made sure the fire had plenty of wood on it before wading into the stream to practice fishing with his hands. After an hour of unsuccessful attempts, he returned to the fire. Surreptitiously looking around, he pulled the bear meat from his inventory and began to roast it over an open flame.

Probably shouldn’t eat this in front of Piffin, Felix reasoned. While the panda didn’t seem too upset by the death of the spirit bear, something told Felix eating bear meat in front of him wouldn’t be a good idea.

Salivating once more over the smell of roasting meat, Felix smiled. Today was a much better day than yesterday.