The judge turned to Larry. "You may begin with the prosecution, Loathsome Cowboy Larry!"

Larry pushed up his glasses. "That's *lonesome* but anyway, your honor. Miss Priscilla Prettipenni has been accused of murdering her father, not in cold blood, but in poisoned blood! She fixed deadly poison in his drink after all!"

Ruby expected gasps and swooning from the audience. But there was nothing. This was Holy Toledo after all.

Larry raised his finger. "You may be wondering, what was her motive? Well then, I have prepared a witness who heard and saw it all! Oh Ms. Gossamer!"

Running up the aisles came a big woman in a frumpy white outfit. Her face was round and she wore even rounder glasses. Her brown hair was mostly hidden by a cream colored bonnet.

"Guh-huh!" she gasped, completely out of breath. "Muh name's Loreena Gossamer and I heard it all at my general store! That rich girl is completely bonkers!"

Ruby had seen Loreena at her store, and wondered why this woman was even involved in the case. This reeked of a setup.

"Objection, your honor!" Ruby shouted, thrusting her arm dramatically in Gossamer's direction. "What potential motive could this witness even have for testifying?! She wasn't even at the bar."

Loreena gave a frumpy smile. "I don't. But I always love to take a sip o' some juicy gossip!"

The judge nodded at Gossamer. "I hear y'all overheard a family conflict between Priscilla and her father that may give us a possible motive for the murder!"

Ruby turned to her client. The normally proud Prissy buried her hand in her elegant sleeve. She hadn't told Ruby about this little confrontation.

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Loreena Gossamer towered high on her stand waving her arms dramatically. "This young lady and her poppa came to my general store and I could already tell they were outta towners from the second I heard them!"

Ruby quickly yelled "Hold it!"

It was her time to cross examine the witness like her mentor told her. Any bit of extra information she gleaned from a witness could be pivotal in winning this case.

"How exactly can you tell that?" Ruby asked, her eyes narrowed.

"Their accents!" Loreena exclaimed. "They were saying odd things like bloody and cheerio and pip pip. It was like, can y'all please speak English in my store?!"

Ruby rolled her eyes. "I believe they were the ones who originated it…"

Loreena continued to huff and puff, not deterred by her ignorance. "All I know is these foreigners came into ma family owned store and started bickering until the cows came home. And I don't own any!"

Larry adjusted his glasses. "Well one cow was home," he said, smirking at the big woman. "What did they say exactly?"

Ruby took a deep breath. This was the moment of truth. This was the way the prosecution would spin this case.

Loreena exclaimed and threw her hands around haphazardly. "The blonde child threw a tantrum. Wherever those foreigners had come from, the girl didn't like being in our dusty little town."

Larry's glasses shined brightly as he turned to Priscilla. "Is that true, little fillie?"

Ruby nodded slowly to Priscilla. Her friend would have to answer. She just hoped Prissy kept her cool.

"Yes…" Priscilla said with gritted teeth.

"You really don't like our town?" Larry asked, feigning offense. "I always thought we took kindly to out-of-towners. How come?"

Priscilla was silent, but her face turned burnt red. Ruby was well aware of how temperamental her friend was under pressure.

"Umm, judge?" Larry giggled. "She's not answering. I don't believe that's very howdy doody in this court!"

Colonel Slanders slammed his gavel. "Missy Prettipenni. Please answer the prosecutor. Why did you get so angry at your dear old daddy!"

Priscilla reached her boiling point and screamed at the top of her tiny lungs. "You try coming to this godforsaken shanty town after living in the highest rungs of bloody England. It's so dusty and dirty in this filthy town and sand gets everywhere! And I do mean everywhere. I've got bloody sand in my pantaloons for God's sake!"

The morally questionable people of Holy Toledo all gasped. Ruby had never seen these hardened country folks clutch at their pearls before.

Priscilla had not only condemned herself in their eyes but the whole town too.

She didn't take kindly to the folks of Holy Toledo and now they wouldn't take kindly to her either!