Novels2Search
Lazy Lying Lauri
Going Shopping In Your Spare Time

Going Shopping In Your Spare Time

Now out of the dungeon, Lauri checked the market for Conceal Status.

{

SP: 823,670

[Cost in System Points]: [Item Name], (Misc. Value)

No items found

}

"I feel like buying something but I don't know what to buy. Any ideas, anyone?"

Ken looks at Ladybug, "a higher level pet, maybe?"

"Huh, that's a very good idea, Ken. Thanks."

[80,859 gold coins purchased by Tim Whatshim for 80,859 SP]

"Um, Tim just purchased all the gold in the System Market."

They all look at each other with serious expressions and then Sophie bursts out laughing. Ken says "you're the one who gave him so much SP, this is your fault for not warning him."

Lauri shrugs as he finishes laughing. "Everyone does it once."

"Says who."

"My dad told me that. I'll put more gold for sale."

Sophie pokes her tongue out, "why not let him fix it?"

"I'm still holding over 800 thousand gold and at 1SP each I made quite the profit. It's in my, no everyone's, best interest for me to do so." Lauri put 100k gold for sale at 1SP and checked the market rate to see gold selling for 0.5 SP each. That is, 1SP buys 2 gold. Looking to make sure he didn't make a mistake, he saw that someone else had put for sale 500k gold. "Huh, someone else put lots of gold on the market, cheaper than mine."

"Who?"

Opening up the details of the sales orders he finds out who. "It's Elizabeth, same one who buys and sells Backpacks of Extra Holding. Seems she also trades Backpacks of Holding."

"She trade anything else?"

"I only checked Backpacks of Holding on a whim. While it seems all the information is publicly available, I'd need to check the history of individual items. When I try and get a list of what a single person has been trading the System calls it private information."

"How is it private if we could gather it by just looking at each items history?"

"I supposed if I traded in lots and lots of different items then it would make it much harder for anyone to piece together what I'm doing."

Sophie tilted her head to the side, "what are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm trying to think of ways to exploit my Renew Item skill for massive profits."

There was the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs and everyone went quiet. A man clad in full dragon-plate mail bearing the kings insignia and the number 7 arrived at the top of the stairs, "where's Harry Morin?"

Lauri spoke up first, "he's retired and handed these premises, and its dungeon, down to me."

"Then on the kings orders, you're to come with me."

"I think I know who you are but you need to introduce yourself before you can go giving orders like that."

"Do you seriously not know who I am!?"

"I just said that I think I do. You're scarecrow number 7, in charge of scaring away any birds that bother the king. Right?"

"I am Sir Asshol, 7th in rank of the kings 10 most powerful knights. All of whom are well and truly far above all of the other knights."

"Ah, yes, scarecrow number 7. Like I thought."

"What is this nonsense you speak of?"

"No different than the nonsense you speak, not to worry."

"I speak only what it true."

"You said all other knights. So why such a nice number as 10? A coincidence or something?"

"The king dictated that he would give special positions to his 10 most powerful knights."

"Yeah and then did there just happen to be exactly 10 people who were 'truly far above all of the other knights' as you put it?"

"How dare you speak to me this way?"

"What, truthfully?"

"Exactly. Show some respect. I'm level 250."

Lauri just laughs at this. "You're max level, so what? That supposed to mean something? Am I supposed to show respect to anyone a higher level than me?"

"Yes."

"Then start by making your level public. How dare you accuse me of not showing respect when you don't have the curtesy of displaying any reason to be shown respect."

"That's IT!"

[Sir Asshol, level 250, has issued you a challenge. Do you wish to accept the PvP Death Duel?]

"Hmmmmmm..." Lauri put his hand up to his chin and rubbed it as he thought.

"What are you waiting for?"

"You're that eager to die?"

"WHAT!? I am undefeated. I mean why are you hesitating to grovel before my feet?"

"Eh, I'll do that if I don't think of a way to kill you with 100% certainty."

The knight was taken aback, "what level are you?"

Lauri checked and, having left the dungeon, "I'm level 11 currently."

"First of all, level isn't everything, I'll give you that. My leveling and item design puts me leagues ahead of most others. Only the top 10 knights are on the same level as me and only because they were given legendary items to wield."

"Oh, so that's why the top 10 are so much more powerful than all other knights, because you get preferential magic item treatment?"

"You cur! You think the divine protection means you can say anything you want? Next time you enter a dungeon I'll have my scouts inform me and I shall enter after you."

["Accept PvP Death Duel"]

"What did you just do, you fool?" Sir Asshol was already drawing his blade when he fell over asleep.

Lauri glanced at Sophie, Ken and Billy, "I completely expected that to work but I'm still surprised that it did."

Sophie met Lauri's glance before looking at Sir Asshol and then back at Lauri. "You know you're basically a dead man, now, right?"

"I don't know why but he just really pisses me off. Say, could you help me with a cover story?"

"If it doesn't get me in trouble."

"Hmmm. How about you ask me to protect your honour? But like, with your seduction skill?"

"Since I have your permission. Lauri, please protect my honour and guard me with your life."

Lauri chose not to try and resist the seduction and it took hold of him. Now he could honestly say he was under the effect of a charm spell when he killed Sir Asshol. Bringing Chitin Cracker Warhammer to hand he paused. "I need more strength for this," he said out loud as he filtered the System Market for strength items good for him right now.

{

SP: 904,529

[Cost in System Points]: [Item Name], (Misc. Value) Notes

10: Belt of Storm Giant Strength (+210 Strength, durability 14/5000)

5000: Belt of Storm Giant Strength (+210 Strength)

150,000: Dual Belt of Hill Giant Strength and Holding (+210 Strength)

500,000: Gravity Gauntlets (+1000 Strength)

800,000: Atlas to Strength (Up to +10,000 Strength)

}

"I was expecting to see hundreds of items to boost Strength but wow, not much."

Ken gave this a moments thought, "that doesn't sound right? Is there a shortage of items on the market or something?"

Lauri decided he'd best check the descriptions of the bottom two.

[Atlas to Strength: An collection of maps detailing how to draw upon the source of the strength of Atlas.]

"I think there's also a god called Atlas. Not sure but that will have to wait."

Sophie gave Lauri a blank stare, "where's the coming from all of a sudden."

"Oh, an item on the market where the pun seems to be that Atlas is both a god as well as the word for a collection of maps. Doesn't seem to give an instant strength boost so I'm discounting it."

"You can shop in the market during a duel?"

"Ummm..."

[Gravity Gauntlets: Requires level 10. Up to +1000 Strength. Manipulates the weight of anything held by the gauntlets and touching the ground to make them lighter or heavier. At max strength based damage and weight is multiplied by 10 times. Recommended to use only up to 2 times multiplied weight.]

[Purchased 1x Gravity Gauntlets for 500,000SP]

[Purchased 1x Belt of Storm Giant Strength 14/5000 for 10SP]

"Seems I can." Lauri said as he applied Renew Item until the belt he'd just purchased was full durability then put it up for sale for 5000 SP, almost felling like it wasn't worth it. He also decided to put his Longbow +2 up for sale, first filtering the market for Longbow +%any%

{

SP: 404,269

[Cost in System Points]: [Item Name], Notes

5000: Longbow +1

100,000: Longbow +2

1,000,000: Longbow +3, Note: They're even better than you imagined. Unless you've got a very very good combo working for you then forgot those niche, novelty, bows.

}

Lauri put a sale order up at 99,999 SP and then tried to equip his new Gravity Gauntlets. With too many magic items, he first unequipped his Breathe Easy Gorget. "You know, I've never looked at what these Breathe Easy Gorgets actually do."

Ken gave him a serious look, "you might be about to die and that's what's going through your head?"

Lauri shrugged as he went to check his stats.

{

Class: Ritualist

Professions:

- Level 10 Sealer

- Level 1 Unrestricted

- Level 90 ????? [Amnesiac]

- Level ? Enslaver

Effective Level: 11, EXP 42,980/60,900

HP: 5,000, PP: 1,110/1,960, MP: 40

Strength: (59) 341/341, Toughness: (50) 50/550, Agility: 45/330, Memory: 155/330, Reasoning: 158/330, Charisma: 330, Luck: 11/22, Destiny: 44

Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

Available Attribute Points: 5

Skills: 14

}

"Hmmm. Without my Minitour Shield equipped I've got less HP than I'd like." He checked Market for Toughness items, remarking "again, fewer items than I expected."

Ken asked "did you remove the usual filters?"

"Oh, whoops. I don't think I did. Thanks. Oh my goddess... there's another Carry The World On Your Shoulders going cheapish for 200,000 SP."

{

SP: 399,269.05

[Cost in System Points]: [Item Name] (Misc. Value), Notes

200,000: Carry The World On Your Shoulders (Durability 1000/20,000)

99.9˙ mill: Carry The World On Your Shoulders

}

Ken shook his head, "Bec's not going to be happy if she sees you wearing that."

"I've only got 5 minutes before Sir Arse-Hole wakes up so I'll worry about that later. I can always sell it for a massive profit anyway." Checking the seller, "oh, it's from Yasmin again."

[Purchased 1x W.O.Y.S 1000/20,000 for 200,000 SP]

Unequipping the Minitour Shield, Lauri repaired and tried to equip his new shoulder pads. He needed to physically remove his Breathe Easy Gorget first to do so but noted that this new item would also protect his neck from chain marks and vulnerability. Still, he needed to know now...

[Breathe Easy Gorget: Breathing not effected by altitude, mist, rain, toxins, strangulation, silver nitrate or other substances, including chloroform. Immune to mental stress]

Lauri mentions to everyone what they do, ending with "though I've no idea what silver nitrate or chloroform are."

Ken shakes his head. "You actually stopped to check?"

"I couldn't help it. Anyway, I'd better check on my stats again." As Lauri does so, he decides to cast Protection Bubble and after a few seconds he hits the market again for pets. "Say, anyone know if pets level up? I'm seeing a lot of the same pets as lower levels."

Sophie winks and pokes her tongue out teasingly, "of course they level up. They're companions."

"Do you maybe do that too much?"

"Do what too much?"

"The sticking your tongue out, thing?"

"It's my signature move. Though usually people only see me, like, once every few days at most. So maybe it's too much."

[Purchased 1x Husky Stud at level 27 for 25,000SP]

"You know, it's called a Stud instead of a Pup and costs less. Maybe it's a different pet after all?"

"No, their name changes after a year, regardless of leveling them or not. Also I think you got one too high level for you to equip."

"What do pets do, anyway?"

"All sorts of things, from telling the time to carrying rum."

"Who would buy a pet to carry their alcohol?"

"That's... ahhh... what your husky can do."

"Is that a joke?"

"No. I only mentioned it because you'd just bought a husky."

"Can it do anything else?"

"Yeah. They can porter other things, but not as well as a human porter, and they can be taught tricks."

"Tricks?" Lauri asked as the knight started to rouse. "Oh, save it for later." He used Drain Level on the husky [-5 Levels] [+5 levels], then on the knight [-5 Levels] [+5 levels].

{

Class: Ritualist

Professions:

- Level 10 Sealer

- Level 1 Unrestricted

- Level 90 ????? [Amnesiac Subconscious Potential]

- Level? Enslaver

Effective Level: 21, EXP 42,980/60,900

HP: 2,625,000, SP: 6,300, PP: 1,608/8,510, MP: 75

Strength: (113) 651, Toughness: (95) 1,050, Agility: 86/630, Memory: 296/630, Reasoning: 302/630, Charisma: 630, Luck: 21/42, Destiny: 84

Available Attribute Points: 5

Skills: 14

}

Something had gone funky with his HP but Lauri's spare time was about up and he now focused on his attack. Applying 10x weight to his warhammer Lauri went to lift it but couldn't. He tried sliding it across the floor but it didn't budge. Checking the sleep status he saw that it had 27 seconds left. Applying only 2 times weight, he started spinning his warhammer around in circles until he tried to lower it against the floor but the gyroscopic momentum didn't want to let him. Slowing down to a stop Lauri applied 6 times weight and tried again, finding he could drag it in circles against the floor. Once he'd built up enough speed that it wanted to lift up, he applied 8 times weight and felt his arms yanked as its spin slowed down. Lauri needed to build speed back up and as it wanted to lift off again, he prepared himself and applied 10 times weight. Expecting it, he wasn't yanked quite so hard by his warhammer this time and started to build up momentum again. It took some 20 seconds but the warhammer was soon swinging around him at 10 times its normal weight and Lauri was needing to grip it tight to prevent it flying out of his hands. Performing his usual motion to bring the hammer down, then up and around before into the ground... the warhammer wouldn't budge.

"What's wrong?" Sophie asked.

"Why would anything be wrong?"

"You did a strange movement thingy and instead of following you your warhammer looks like it yanked you back into spinning it."

"Oh, yeah, that's basically what's wrong. I don't seem to have the strength to fight against my warhammers will."

"It's will?"

"Not sure what else to call it. Right now it wants to go flying off and it's all I can do to keep it spinning, which it seems to like and doesn't want to deviate from."

"What are you going to do?"

Sir Asshol woke up and without a second thought leapt to his feet, as instinctual a motion as a downed dog. Lauri had wanted the bonus damage for hitting a prone target but that opportunity was lost now. More importantly, Sir Asshol was not warhammer-path-height, and by shifting his feet as he twirled Lauri moved closer and smashed the spike end into what he intended to be Sir Asshol shoulder. As the knight attempted to dodge to Lauri's left he was instead struck in the square of his back and put cracks all the way through the rear dragon plate [208,320 damage]. "I suppose I'll do that."

"You cur!" Lauri thought the knight yelled as he was sent flying into Library Dungeon and slid across the wooden floors before coming to a stop when he hit a stone wall. Leaping to his feet again how shouted angrily. "How dare you fight so dishonourably!?"

Lauri remembered the 'against a hard place' damage buff so asked the knight "could you please wait there for one moment?"

"What?" Looking behind himself he went to move but found himself under the effect of Hold Monster.

Lauri jogged over and started spinning up his warhammer again. This was his second time so he managed to get it up to swing at 10x weight within 4 or 5 seconds this time and he made sure to be to the left. This made the timing more difficult as if he moved closer at the wrong timing his hammer would hit the wall instead of Sir Asshol but he didn't have time before the knight could move again, so went for it. Maybe it was skill, maybe luck or maybe a mix. Whatever the case Lauri's hammer landed square on the knights chest. The walls shook from the impact and the dragon chest-plate shattered with pieces falling to the floor as it disappeared [416,640 damage]. "Thanks, for waiting."

"Why do you have a billion SP weapon!? Do you have any idea how much my chest-plate was worth!?"

Lauri took a step back and in a relaxed tone asked "was it worth more than my life or is this not a death dual we're in?"

"Yes it's worth more than your peasant life!!!"

"You think so? Well, to me my life is worth more than any item or amount."

"That's what makes you an honourless cur. I think you're all out of crowd control now. What's your next move?"

"Might I ask how you're not already dead?"

"I have over 5 million HP and only take half physical damage. Oh wait... you destroyed my chest-plate, you cur!"

"Please say that means less HP?"

"No but... I'm not telling you anything!" He drew his sword.

"Oh, finally got that thing out, huh? I was wondering if you were having performance problems."

"You talk big but you'll be begging me to spare your life by the time..." Sir Asshol dropped to the ground asleep again, as Lauri activated his skill.

He looked over to Sophie, "I don't think he knew how long he'd been sleeping for, to think I was out of stun skills."

"Watch out!" Sophie shouted as she pointed at a flock of flying books.

"They're not really much of a threat right now." Lauri was mistaken, as Sir Asshol was woken by their feeble attacks. At 4x weight Lauri brought his warhammer up and then back down again, smashing the spike into the knights head as he lay on the floor [117,180 damage]. "That was the worst damage yet. What a pity but better then missing the opportunity entirely."

Leaping to his feet he screamed "CUR! CUR! CUR!"

There was still 15 seconds for Hold Monster again and books were harassing the two of them. Lauri would prefer to delay until his skill was ready. "Is that the only word you know?"

"CUR!"

"Should we deal with these books or, I don't know, what do you think?"

"Sword of Sunstrike!"

Lauri recognised that sunstrike was like a fireball that spread from the user and to avoid it he dove into the gap between the stairwell down. It cost more mana but was superior to throwing a fireball at ones own feet in that it didn't hurt oneself. At least it would be superior if the user didn't have fire immunity. As Lauri pondered he looked up, or from his perspective down, to see that the knight hadn't followed him. He only thought that for half a second before seeing the knight leap over the railings and come falling after him shouting "KA KA KA KA KA KA KUR!!!!!"

"Dude, have you gone insane or is this some sort of charge up ability you're chanting?"

"YOU'RE A KUR!"

"Is that with a C or a K?"

"C for KAR YOU KUR!"

"Huh, insane it is. So...?"

"So what!?"

"Are we still fighting?" Lauri asked as he noticed he could see monsters as he fell. No point passing up on that, he figured, as he started hitting anything higher level than himself with Drain Level.

"YES!"

"I'm waiting..."

"Bring it on!"

"Oh, yeah, I do have a ranged attack."

"CUR!"

Lauri tossed a chain at the knight and it wrapped around him, the same way as it was wrapped around Lauri. "There you go."

"What?"

"Um, that's it."

"What sort of lame attack was that?"

"Well, do you have a ranged attack?"

"I fight face to face like a real man."

"That's toxic masculinity."

"How dare you mock me. You're dead you cur!"