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Lazy Lying Lauri
Deaf, Dumb and Blind

Deaf, Dumb and Blind

Moving towards the second floor of the Library Dungeon, Lauri's party had to pass by the secret chamber again and those yet to see it couldn't help but stare out into the void. Tim had to ask "what is that?"

"That's the Blank. A void between dimensions. It's where I fought an Elder God who sought to devour my soul. Strike that, succeeded in devouring my very soul... but I defeated it none the less and took control of my soul back."

Tim shook his head in disbelief. "You could have just said you don't know."

"You don't like my story?"

"It's a fanciful story but... you know what, it's entertaining. Keep going."

"That's the end of it actually."

"Really? Don't want to throw in a True Immortal?"

"Yeah, okay, I hear you. As a matter of fact, after I chased the Elder God away a True Immortal called Red-Light dropped by to check on me. He's a friend of mine who runs The System and needed to make sure that I wasn't compromised. Though I'm sure he also wanted to make sure I was alright."

"Nice. And why did he need to make sure you weren't compromised?"

"Well, he'd need to take away my staff access if I was the puppet of a Lovecraftian type horror."

Sophie's eyes went wide. "Of course! That explains some things."

Tim chuckled. "You believe this? I literally asked him to make up a narrative about a True Immortal and he did."

"Lauri is no liar."

"Telling a fiction to someone who asks to hear one is not lying so even if he doesn't like, you'd be naïve to take what he's saying as fact."

Lauri nodded. "I can't deny that your statement is wise."

Sophie smiled at Lauri as she poked her tongue out and gave him a wink. "Plausible deniability. Very cunning way of slipping what happened without needing to kill anyone to keep it quiet."

Tim just chuckled again. "Since there's no way you actually believe him, I'll just assume this is an inside game. I don't want to be a downer so I'll play along."

Lauri pushed one of the bookshelves in front of the missing wall but the void was still quite visible through the books, as there wasn't a full backing to the shelves.

The group started moving on when Lauri spotted a worm approaching from another isle and quickly shouted, "everyone stop moving. A dangerous enemy is approaching and we need to go into stealth."

Tim joke shouted back, "we'd better be real quiet then."

"No need, it's deaf."

"A highly dangerous, dead, enemy on the first floor? Oh, a mandrake or banshee. Should we cover out ears?"

"No need, it's dumb."

"Well, you know this place best. Where should we hide?"

"No need, it's blind."

"Okay, I've got it. So we just need to run from this deaf, dumb and blind, dangerous creature without looking at it or letting it smell us?"

"I don't think it can smell but maybe it can? Either way, we don't move, or it will sense us."

"Hang on, wouldn't we see it then?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Oh, I can't wait. This is exciting."

"I'm glad to see you so keen to face down a dangerous foe."

"No no, I'm keen to see what it is."

The book worm wriggles into view, 'Level 1' displayed above its head. Time was disappointed. "Okay, a worm. They can't see, can't hear and smell with touch. I mean, nice riddle reveal and all but it's not dangerous. Heck, it's level 1."

Sophie, Billy and Ken looked at each other, then Sophie claimed "it's dangerous."

Lauri nodded, "what it lacks in senses, it makes up for if it gets a hold of you. It won't let go and doesn't die easily."

Tim waved it off, "it's level 1."

"I think it was attracted by the vibrations when I moved the bookshelf. If we're really light footed it may not notice us. Good news is I have my Agility back," Tim chuckled, not believing Lauri had ever lost his Agility. "Bad news is that even with the potions I drank earlier, it's only 45."

"Only? That's a good score."

"Oh, that's a relief. I'm accustomed to it being much higher."

"What nonsense are you going on about?"

Sophie supported Lauri, "it's all true."

"Yeah. I used to be level 101."

"How old are you?"

"18, why?"

"Just wasn't expecting to be hearing 101 from someone who started the same time as me."

"It's not something I'm proud of." The worm started wriggling away. "Let's wait until it's not so close, since it's on the move."

"Agreed. Wouldn't want to take on that ferocious, level 1, worm. Nothing could be more scary. Except maybe a bunny or a slime."

"Oh, I haven't fought either. They're that scary?"

"Ohhhhh yeah," Tim claimed sarcastically. "More scary than a worm at least."

Once far enough away the group moved carefully to the stars and down the the second floor, where they came in sight of a 2 meter tall Library Bunny, 'Level 4' displayed above it. It's white fur blotched with red blood stains around its face and mouth. A black spot around one eye had streaks running down from it like the bunny had been crying black tears. Or maybe the black spot wasn't its hair colour... but who would put mascara on a bunny monster? "Do bunnies cry?"

Ken was the first to answer, "yes but not from being sad. They have sensitive respiratory systems. When they're crying an owner should gently wipe the corner of the bunny's eye."

Everyone looked at Ken then back at the bunny. "Well, this is a monster bunny so we won't be doing that. Also Tim warned us how dangerous these things are."

Tim went to say "when I said that..." but the giant bunny growled to reveal rows of sharp teeth, with two long, blunt ones creating a juxtaposition.

"Yeah, yeah," Lauri spoke up when Tim didn't continue, "you had your fingers crossed or something. Don't worry, we don't blame you for jinxing us or anything."

Ken cautioned "be careful, it may seem at a distance but with a single leap that thing will be on us in an instant."

Taking the warning seriously, Lauri used Sleep on it and it fell to sleep. "Okay, we know that the thing sleeps now. Unlike books."

"Why would books sleep?"

"They don't, that's why I mentioned them." Lauri got out his towel and some water, cleaning the bunnies face until the blood, streak and black spot around the eye were all gone. "I think the mascara made it cry."

Ken gave a slight smile, "thanks."

"What for?"

"You said we weren't going to be wiping its eye but then you did. So, thanks."

"You really like bunnies, don't you?"

"Yeah. I have a pet rabbit at home called Thumper."

The party moved on and arrived at the treasure storage. Tim whistled, "that's a lot of stuff."

"Yeah and it was recently all gifted to me."

"This is what you meant when you said I don't get a share of the items on this floor?"

With a sweep of his hand everything was sent to Lauri's Item Box. "Yeah. I don't see it as loot but didn't want there to be any ambiguity."

"And you really do have an Item Box?"

"Was that ever doubted?"

"Not out loud," Tim chuckled.

Brining the Kamifuda Tori back out Lauri made sure it was full durability then passed it to Ken. "This is a ranged weapon that I have reason to believe uses your Reasoning attribute for damage."

Ken took and inspected the bird talisman, "yeah, I can see this working with my ninja aesthetic."

"Wait," Tim held up his hand, "there was Rogue items stored down here?"

Lauri shrugged. "I don't want to lie to you so I'm not going to answer that."

Ken grimaced slightly. "Do we really need temporary members? I'm starting to think we have too many secrets."

"Tim is the only front-liner here. We need at least one person who can stand in front and take a pounding."

Tim only chuckled at the exchange before raising an eyebrow as he asked "are you flirting with me?"

"No, I don't see how I could be. I'm not wrong am I?"

"You're not wrong. I can take as well as I give. My only vulnerability is mind games."

"Shall we leave now?" Ken asked.

"Leave?" Ken was surprised at the very suggestion. "We've only just started."

"We need to help the Library Dungeon and we do that by removing a toxin from deep in its body."

Ken frowned, "I have a bad feeling about this."

"Don't worry. I'll turn us all invisible and we'll walk right past everything. Except worms... or possibly other things."

Ken shuddered. "A very bad feeling."

In front of the stairs to floor 3 someone had placed a very large sign with a red background. It read "WARNING! There are monsters beyond this point."

Tim chuckled, "there are monsters before this point."

"Didn't used to be," Lauri explained.

As he went to continue the system had a message of its own to display. "Warning: Difficulty 5 beyond this point."

"What's Difficulty 5?"

Everyone just looked at each other before Ken said "we're all newbies and it's not like anything was explained to us as kids. You know how it is. Now that we can ask, if we want to know we need to ask."

This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

"Pfffff. All the schools get shut down, supposedly because student safety was in question, and we're the ones put in danger because of it."

"We're in danger?" Ken sounded worried.

"There's always danger in the unknown. System... sorry, I'll ask in my head." ["System, what are the difficulty ratings?"]

[1 through 5 with 5 being the most dangerous]

["Definitions?"]

[1: Easy, 2: Normal, 3: Challenging, 4: Deadly, 5: Above Deadly]

"Don't worry everyone, I've looked it up and know what it means now. Basically it means I turn everyone invisible before we proceed. Everyone knows the spell and its quirks?" Tim gave a thumbs-up. "Good." Lauri cast Aura of Invisibility and everyone turned invisible. "Stick together, if you leave the area then returning doesn't render you invisible again."

In almost 1 hour the party descended down to floor 20, passing many monsters, before Lauri entered a safe-zone and came to a stop. "My spell is about to end. We'll recast it here before we continue."

Tim asked "how are we going to get loot if we don't kill anything? There's level 20 monsters here and I'm even seeing some as high as level 35."

"Levels certainly play a role but I'd argue they're the least important metric. Attributes, HP and skills all matter far more."

"Okay but that doesn't answer my question."

"From a treasure chest."

"One that doesn't require passing a challenge?"

"Do all treasure chests have a challenge tied in with them?"

"I don't know, actually."

"Then lets hope not, because that toxin I mentioned is a build up of energy that gets turned into loot in order to be removed from a dungeon."

Tim chuckled. "I'm not going to believe for one second that dungeons are poisoned by their own loot."

"Suit yourself but we're after loot either way."

"That's all I wanted to hear."

With another casting of Aura of Invisibility the group continued, sneaking past a boss monster that looked like a phoenix. The party reached floor 30 before they looked into the next boss room which had a giant green slime, some 6 meters in diameter, except the height which squished down to only 4 meters under its own weight. 'Level 50 Elite' hovers in red above it. Tim whispered "wait, slimes aren't fooled by invisibility."

"Oh great. I'm really starting to think you jinxed us now."

"You're joking right?"

"Yeah. This is a lore type dungeon. Of course we're going to see bunnies and slimes."

"Your logic is impeccable but what do we do?"

"Know of any good ways of fighting slimes?"

"Except for Fireballs, no."

"Ah, Sophie, you're up."

Sophie stuck her tongue out playfully. "I don't know Fireball. You're thinking of Tiny Explosion."

"I mean the bigger one and how's it differ?"

"Well, Explosion is an explosion while Fireball is a ball of fire which strikes a point from which a wall of fire spreads out from."

"Then wouldn't the first be more effective?"

Sophie shrugged. "Its range is still that of Tiny Explosion, 2 meters, but the blast radius is extended to 2 meters. Meaning I'm guaranteed to get caught in it."

"So, our shields are the limit to how many times you can use it?"

"If that's how you want to measure it, then sure."

"When did we stop whispering?"

Sophie shrugged again. "It can't hear us. Slimes are also deaf, dumb and blind."

Lauri looked at Tim, "why wasn't a slime your first guess when the worm was coming?"

Tim just sighed, he hadn't seriously considered slimes dangerous, "for one thing, I didn't know they were deaf or I wouldn't have been whispering."

After more planning Lauri equipped his ladybug pet and the party moved in. Tim drew a broadsword and charged at the slime. Sophie cast Shield Party and moved to get within range of Tiny Explosion. Lauri also closed distance as he used Drain Level on it, [-5 Levels], [+5 Levels]. His skill was hostile and dropped the invisibility but the slime had started to extend tendrils out even before that. Ken tried to use the bird talisman but without pre-cut paper it did nothing, so he started throwing shuriken at the slime. Billy made use of fire arrows in his bow, this not being a time to be stingy. As Sophie neared range Lauri had an idea and shouted "why not channel Explosion through your Blazing Heels?"

"Oh yeah, good idea."

"How are we even damaged by it anyway, we all have immunity to fire and stuff."

"Half the damage is from blunt-force trauma," she explained as she kicked the slime, taking a chunk out of it and setting part of it on fire. The slime grappled Sophie in its tendrils in return, lifting her from the ground. "This is a problem, I can't kick it from here. Also my skin is burning."

"Burning? Hah. Good thing we're immune to fire damage."

"No, like acid, burning. I'm taking damage and my non-magical clothes are melting away."

"But your shoes, stockings, skirt and leather are all magical. What's melting away?"

"Not important just get me free, please."

"You don't need help, Plan B didn't work out so go back to Plan A and blow yourself up."

Sophie hit the slime with Explosion and the tendrils were ripped apart, causing her to fall to the ground and she landed with grace. "I'm doing major damage. How about you?"

Lauri took out his warhammer and struck it as hard as he could, [269 damage]. "Nadah."

Tim was slicing off every tendril that tried to wrap around him but others whipped at him instead and his shield was down to 50%, same as Sophie. "It's resistant to physical damage but I'm holding my own."

Billy spoke up, "the fire arrows are working wonders. I tried a normal arrow but the damage was negligible so I'm chewing through valuable resources quick here."

"Mana doesn't cost money but I'm burning through it quickly."

Sophie kicked it with another Explosion channelled into her Blazing Heels and a huge chunk was blown out of the slime, its HP dropping to 52%. Tendrils closed in from every direction and she found herself grappled again. After a 6 second cooldown she used Explosion to free herself, her shield dropping to 4%. Tim's shield wasn't too great either at 44% and the slime was at 42% HP. "Tim, fall back. Sophie cast shield on yourself." Lauri fell back as well.

"So I'm the front-liner now? Seriously?" She cast Shield on herself.

"Call it Plan C, I didn't expect Tim and I to be quite this ineffective."

"I should usually be the one falling back now."

"You and Billy are the only ones damaging it. We still have my shield left so worst case we can fall back on Plan A."

"I thought Plan A was that I use Explosion until my shield or mana runs out? So this IS Plan A."

"Your shield did run out. Oh, I mean, yeah. So just keep it up. It's all going to plan."

"Like we have a choice." Another kick took the slime to 20% HP as it grappled her a third time. "We have a problem."

"What's the problem?"

"Another kick would kill it but I can only cast Explosion one more time, so if I free myself with it we lose."

"My only sword is a rapier, unless I'm forgetting something. Tim, can you cut her free?"

"I'll certainly try my best," he charged back into the fray.

"Don't you have anything from that massive hoard that can help me?"

"I bet I do but it will take time to look through everything." With that said, Lauri released Drain Level then used Hold Monster and the slime stopped moving.

"Well that makes this easy," Tim cut Sophie free.

"Well, that helped," Sophie took a step forward and with a final kick splatted the slime all over the wall behind it.

As the slime boss disappeared a shower of silver coins rained down and 3 items dropped. "Good work everyone. My Item Box can quickly pick up all these coins but how's it usually done?" Nobody seemed to have an answer. "Shall I do so, then?"

Tim shared a concern, "how do we know you won't lie about the count?"

"Well, I'm wearing a Necklace of Greed which doubled the loot value in exchange for me missing out on EXP. So the question isn't if I'll lie. It's whether I should tell you the full amount but claim half before we split the rest or report only half as the amount to be shared."

"The first, because I'm curious."

Lauri waved his hand and collected 4000 system points. "Drats, it's only 4000."

"Only? That's from a single monster and there's 3 other items it dropped. So, 400 SP each?"

"Let's look at the items first." There was a skill-book of 'Rapid-Fire' for the Archery profession, a Homo-Flaming Wristband and a Proud Bears Pendant for the Bear Totem profession. "Who has the Bear Totem profession?"

Tim raised his hand, "that's me. It branches off of my Barbarian profession."

"I think this is for you then. The wristband is for Sophie..."

"I already have one and they're cheap as chips so if it effects my share forget it."

"And the book is for Billy."

"Also a no, I don't want a skill that just wastes through arrows faster. I want more bang for buck."

"Just take them. We can all have 400 SP either way." Lauri gives each member their share of 400 SP and they take their items, there now being no point not to.