Novels2Search
Lazy Lying Lauri
Figure It Out Yourself

Figure It Out Yourself

After dinner that evening Lauri read the book on exercise and muscles until sundown. Since continuing to read wasn't worth burning the midnight oil, quite literally as Lauri would've had to use an oil lamp, he went to sleep. The next day he finished reading the book and figured he now understood the difference between strength and toughness. However he now also doubted his previously firm understanding of the difference between strength and agility. Lauri hated how looking up descriptions in System would often result in info dumps, direct to his head, but as he was now imagining exercise routines he felt he shouldn't put it off any longer.

[Strength: The ability to apply a force and overcome a resistance.

Toughness: The ability to deal with hardship or to cope in difficult situations.

Agility: Ability to move quickly and easily.

Memory: The faculty by which you store and accesses information.

Reasoning: The action of processing information in a logical and correct way.

Charisma: The ability to influence oneself, others and a measure of strength of will.

Luck: Success or failure apparently brought by chance. Often mistakenly believed to be the opposite of through one's own actions.

Destiny: A hidden and little understood power believed to control future events. Never increase if your life is a tragedy.]

Lauri was extremely disappointed and told the system "every single description is wrong."

[Strength: Figure it out yourself.

Toughness: Figure it out yourself.

Agility: Figure it out yourself.

Memory: Figure it out yourself.

Reasoning: Figure it out yourself.

Charisma: Figure it out yourself.

Luck: Figure it out yourself.

Destiny: Figure it out yourself.]

"Yeah, thanks for trying!" He thought more about exercise routines as he travelled until arriving at Survivors Guild. Looking around Rebecca wasn't there so Lauri walked over to a table where 5 old men were seated. "I have a few questions if anyone could answer them?"

"Sure, take a seat. We're the famous White Wrath adventurers. I'm sure you know our names already but I'm John, that's Goodman, Heath, Mr Love and Duffy"

"Weird nicknames but thanks." He sat down.

"Not nicknames. Our full names are John Gill, Dalton Goodman, Heath Christian, Riley Love and Zubair Duffy."

"Wait, John Gill? Leader of that famous group who were the first to seal one of the great, previously undefeatable, evils? Leading the example for everyone else?"

"One and the same. White Wrath's the name. Everyone knows of us."

"Wow. Living fossils... I mean legends."

"Ha ha ha. Both are true now I'm afraid. But we never retired and if the board has anything to say then we're not through yet."

Lauri looked over to the notice board to see that it now had 10 quests pinned to it. "You taking one?"

"Soon as they're stamped."

"Stamped?"

"They're not official until the guild master stamps them but if they're not put up before then, people often don't have preparation time before they'd expire."

"They expire?"

"Every one of them is a quest to renew the seal of a sealed evil. If you don't do that before the seal collapses then quest failed."

"Why no quests before and then 10 all at once?"

"Because over time they got closer together. It's just human nature. Everyone would rather leave together than alone so some departed early and others got dangerously delayed. Before you knew it, we were all leaving at the same time. Not the same as arriving at the destination at same time, mind you."

"Huh."

"Are these the questions you wanted to ask?"

Lauri shook his head and focused, trying to remember what his questions had been. "Why are most of the guild members so old?"

"Because all our quests require Sealers. You're the first new Sealer in a long time and there's not much incentive for others to join. Even the few to become Ritualists tend not to join."

"Why are the books in the library in such bad condition?"

"Because we don't have a small army of scribes to keep making copies. Also because it's dying?"

"What's dying?"

"Library Dungeon is dying. Without fresh young adventurers to delve into its depth it chokes to death on the very magics it uses to create powerful item drops."

Lauri gets the gem drop out, "are you able to identify this?"

"I sure could. Every Ritualist has access to the Analyse Item skill. I won't though, that would be like robbing the young."

"How so?"

"The few who actively decided to chose Ritualists became Analysis professions to profit from identifying things. Probably because we old timers couldn't be bothered to anymore and so there was a tiny profit to be made. The moneys beneath me but apparently not them, so I don't want to take it away from them. Get the skill-book yourself or pay one of them."

"Hang on. If every Ritualist can get Analyse Item, why would they specifically go the Analysis profession?"

"Because they have no intention of adventuring. There may be special quests and items to change professions but the most reliable way is to reach level 10. They don't plan to do that."

"So when you say every Ritualist has access, you mean if they've had the Analysis profession?"

"You could learn it right now. The Analysis specialisation has a lot more going for it than just item analysis. Skills, spells, rituals, statistics, knowledge and more. For example, you can't use Analyse Monster without it... but they don't go on adventures so that doesn't matter."

"Why use that as the example them?"

"Because that's what Mr Love took the profession for."

Mr Love nodded, "know thy enemy, love thy enemy... to death."

Lauri felt like Mr Love was waiting for a chance to say something but it felt too forced so he pretended he didn't hear him. "Thanks. Unless you have special knowledge about attributes then I'll leave you to it."

Goodman's face lit up and he flexed his arm, showing muscles Lauri hadn't believed an old man should have. "Ask away."

"Okay. Starting with a bit of a side-question. Is the Systems descriptions of the attributes wrong?"

"If you believe anything you're told by someone, the System or a book then consider yourself deceived."

"That makes no sense. How would I know anything then?"

"A true sceptic is always ready to accept that what they have always been told and always known may very well be wrong. The Systems descriptions are accurate enough that people can make sense of things."

"So if I jump then is that strength or agility?"

"If you're trying to jump far then it's strength and if you're trying to jump quickly it's agility."

"This book from the library says that bigger people have more muscle and more muscle means more power to weight ratio, which means more acceleration. And that's why bigger people can often still move faster than smaller people."

"The book could be right, could be wrong. Is there a question?"

"Doesn't strength then determine swiftness of movement, which is agility?"

"A difficult question and a good thing you asked me or maybe you'd never have known the answer. You see, there are different types of muscles."

Lauri nods. "Right. Slow-twitch fibres for endurance activities and fast-twitch fibres for quick, powerful movements. However slow-twitch sounds more like toughness while fast-twitch describes strength as well as agility."

"That's very interesting. I myself am too old and not enough of a true sceptic to accept something that goes against what I've believed my whole life."

"Thanks for all of your help. I'll be seeing you around, I hope."

Lauri decided he'd better make sure guild master Harry was okay with him heading to look at his stuff, before doing so. Noticing someone in his office Lauri waited outside but the conversation drew his attention and he ended up putting his ear to the wall.

"Asking for double the reward is unreasonable."

Harry retorted, "with current inflation I should be asking for triple. Even doubling rewards we'd barely be able to pay debt collectors."

"Your debt collectors isn't the kings problem and we've no time for haggling. Negotiating prices takes weeks to go through official channels."

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"The kings failure to issue quests in a timely manner isn't my problem. You all delayed on purpose to apply pressure. I'm not naive to your tactics."

"We can start negotiations for future quest rewards but you'll have to approve these as is. Otherwise the seals will fail and great evils will be released onto our world."

"You'd better go through official channels fast then. Double is my lowest offer."

"I'm telling you it's not possible. Would you doom the world and throw away your legacy? As well as the legends of many at this guild."

"Legends people don't even remember, because nobody is taught anything, because the king killed the academies with his unrealistic laws."

"Complain all you will, we both know this leaves you with only one choice."

Harry sighed long and loud. "You're right. I know. I've only one choice and I can't delay it further."

"Then I shall inform the proper channels that you're asking higher rewards for future quests."

"Oh, no, that's not even a choice."

"But you just said?"

"Insolvency."

"What?"

"By law when an organisation finds itself unable to pay its debts it is forced into liquidation. I unfortunately must declare Survivors Guild insolvent and by law this guild is thus closing down."

"You'd blackmail the kingdom and all it's people over a few gold coins?"

"How dare you. Go learn what the meaning of blackmail is. Statements like that is why you're a mere messenger. So go give the king this message, Survivors Guild is no more, send the quests to another guild."

As footsteps approached Lauri moved away and stood to the side. One of the kings men exited the room and walked past him. Harry saw Lauri and beckoned "come in."

"Are you really shutting down your guild?"

"I love my guild but it lost its legs a long time ago. The commissions from quests haven't paid the bill in years, it's propped up only by member donations. You two new members gave me such hope... that I could exploit money out of you both. Hah. Though it's time people learnt a harsh lesson and sharpened themselves... And it's time for me to retire. Did you know that I'm 101 years old?"

"No spring chicken then."

"I'll prepare an announcement and take down the current quest notices. What brought you here?"

"I wanted to ask if it was okay for me to go look at your stuff by myself or if you wanted to come with me to keep an eye?"

"You can have it all. I'm retiring now. You can have management rights to the whole dungeon if you want it, though it's dying too. You could open your own guild, just don't tell anyone it's dying."

"Does someone need to have a dungeon to open a guild?"

"It's one of the requirements. You need to be able to provide newbies their starting weapons, have a physical property to house guild activities, have a guild name... my knowledge is outdated so check with the nobles if you're interested."

"Hang on, sharpen themselves? Are you doing this because of me?"

"That's what you told me the goddess said, yes? You weren't making that up?"

"It's what she said."

"Not because of you then. Because of the wisdom of the goddess."

"I'm uncomfortable with the part I played in this. Okay, I'm going to head into the library now. Let me know if... ummm."

"If I can help you further?"

"Wish I could."

"Just make your heroes party a good one."

The first thing Lauri did when he entered the library was to return the book he'd checked out. Signing and stamping its return how he was shown. He returned the book to its shelf himself, since there was no librarian and he remembered where it had come from. That's when Lauri spotted a hole in a well, into what he believed to be a secret chamber of some sort. Walking over to the edge of the dungeon there should have been nothing beyond but peeking through the hole there certainly was something. He cupped his hand around his eye, waiting for his eyes to adjust, he could make out a book on a pedestal. Standing back he set to looking for cracks in the wall which could indicate where or how the wall would slide open, yet he found nothing. With a shrug, Lauri got his warhammer out and smashed a hole into the wall, receiving an unexpected System prompt. [Warning: It is a bad idea to force your way into forbidden dungeon areas]. Forbidden areas?

The book started flapping, teeth revealed inside and Level 100 appeared over the thing he'd just freed. "AHH!" He let out a short scream as he activated Hold Monster and the book fell to the ground. 6 second stun, 30 seconds cooldown. Lauri started hitting it with his hammer again and again, as quick as he could. [96HP damage], [96HP damage], Drain Level, [-5 Levels], [+5 Levels], [1,440HP damage], [1,440HP damage]. The book sprung back into action. "AHH!" Another scream was let out as he activated Sleep and the book fell to the ground again. "It can sleep!?" 30 seconds sleep debuff, 35 seconds cooldown. Lauri almost went to hit it again when he paused. The books health had only reduced by maybe 5% and a hit would wake it up. As a Sealer he should be able to keep a sleep vulnerable enemy permanently locked down. Calming down he got into a pattern of Hold Monster, make attacks, Sleep and he used Drain Level on Ladybug for 1 more level. "I should have drained Ladybug first and I'd be at level 9 instead of 7."

An old man entered the library to see Lauri smashing a book with a warhammer and he froze on the spot. Lauri took his break so the man walked over. "Everything alright?"

"Why is there a level 100 monster on the first floor of a dungeon that's supposed to be similar to a live-in dungeon?"

"Is that book snoring?"

"Yeah. We called a timeout so he's having a power-nap."

"I suppose its because every floor of every dungeon must by nature have a certain value worth of monsters. This floor used to have bookworms, flocks of mostly harmless winged books and library owls."

"What changed?"

"They slowly grew stronger until even those harmless books were bludgeoning students in vicious swarms. Thankfully, before they became too large a threat, the monsters vanished overnight."

The book awoke and was stunned as Lauri got 4 swings in, at 1,680 damage each, then put it to sleep again. "Swapped for one very expensive, well hidden, monster, perhaps?"

He looked at the book. "Perhaps indeed. You're Lauri, right?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Philip but aren't you low level?"

"Yeah?"

"Shouldn't this book have killed you?"

"Yeah."

"What level are you exactly?"

The book awoke and the process repeated, 4 loud hammer strikes momentarily holding up the conversation. "I've been using this Necklace of Greed to prevent naturally leveling beyond level 1. Why do you ask?"

He gave a coy smile. "No reason. I'll return when the library isn't so noisy."

"Oh, I'm sorry about that. See you later."

The books health bar dwindled and eventually fell to empty, 20 gold looking coins dropping from the book. "Good thing I wasn't attacked by two monsters." He picked up one of the coins and inspected each side. One side read "1" and the other read "GP" but this was not one of his worlds gold coins. "Huh?" Consuming it gained him 10 System Points, with all of them increasing his SP by 200 in total. "Let's think... 1 gold coin is worth 100 silver coins but 1 golden System coin is worth 10 System Points? Hang on, why didn't the monster disappear?" He raised his hammer as he looked at the book... He nudged the book... He carefully picked up what must have been a skill-book, [Would you like to consume Dungeon Keeper skillbook?]. Lauri read the books title, which he swore wasn't there before, 'Guide To Dungeon Keeping: Libraries And Books Edition.' Speaking to the air, "why how lucky that I just happen to become this dungeons manager and then luckily get this skill-book which is luckily perfect for managing a dungeon." He looks around as if he expected something. "Lucky lucky lucky..." [+1 Potential Destiny]. "Better than nothing. I'll take it."

Lauri sat down to read the skill-book. It was written in the original writings of the goddess, Greek, so he was studied well enough to not need a translation guide. Speaking to himself, "so dungeons feed off of a special type of magic produced by megalophobia and if they didn't then megalomania would remain supressed. Translated, that would mean that nobody would be obsessed with power. Such a world could never survive." Once he finished reading he allowed System consumption of it and noted that he now had 5 of 10 Ritualist skills. Lauri thought "I suppose luck has nothing to do with it being for my Class, as otherwise it wouldn't have dropped. If I don't plan on leveling soon then I'll need to be careful how I use my skill slots. In fact, I'll look skills up on the market." [Gained skill Dungeon Keeper] his log added as a translation of the book was uploaded to him. "Hang on, the translation is different. Dungeons feed off of a type of meta-magic and help promote healthy desires? Also there's entire sections completely different or missing all-together. What gives?"

[I am not sapient and this question is beyond my understanding. Would you like help?]

"Sure. Not like I'm going to just figure it out myself."