He filled in the time waiting for Erend and Alva to return with the embers with tackling as many Sunwings as he could and helping Zo prepare the provisions for the journey. She was thankful for his assistance although she continued to give him a knowing look which made Kotallo wonder what it was that she thought she knew.

He didn’t offer her any knowledge or insight but he might have given himself away every time Aloy walked through the common room by ducking his head or pretending not to see her.

Still, at least she didn’t ask him directly. He knew he would fail miserably at an outright lie.

When Erend and Alva arrived, heavily laden with embers and the promise that Morlund was on his way to help Aloy with her dream, Beta went through the stockpile and set aside the ones that would work with the message. Thankfully there were more than enough.

“It might pay to have spares…for the clumsiest of us messengers.” Zo looked pointedly at Erend and Kotallo.

“Fair call.” Erend shrugged.

The embers were loaded with the message, each played to ensure that they worked without any dropouts. Kotallo received three. He knew he would be tempted to simply play them for himself to see her face.

He pressed his fingers to his nose.

He felt somewhat pathetic.

They celebrated their last night together with a feast in the common room, Sylens of course, abstaining from their company.

“Not that he refused the food I brought him.” Zo pointed out.

“He’d be nuts to do that.” Erend enjoyed the meal heartily, burping his appreciation.

“How was Las Vegas?”

“Oh my goodness! An absolute feast for the eyes!” Alva exclaimed. “While not replete with data, it is by far the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen and that eloquent Oseram indulged me by displaying all the ornaments he had in his collection.”

“She was as giddy as a drunk…and hadn’t tasted a drop.” Erend chortled.

“And tomorrow I get to see the Grove! I am both excited and terrified!”

“Kotallo will protect you.” Aloy said warmly and he tried not to blush.

“Oh I know. He’s a remarkable warrior.” Alva nodded. “I hope I don’t embarrass myself…”

“Introduce yourself to Dekka, the chaplain of the Lowland Clan and you and she can talk for hours about the visions.” Kotallo suggested.

“Great!”

The food didn’t last forever and despite Erend’s wish to keep drinking, everyone, even he, knew that with an early start the next day, they needed a good night’s sleep.

But Kotallo couldn’t. He was worked up and anxious and found himself pacing the common room after everyone was asleep. He walked around and around the circular space, each time passing Aloy’s door and wanting to knock on it but turning away, determined not to.

She had given him her reason and he knew it to be true.

She couldn’t fall in love.

She couldn’t lose her focus.

So he would have to love enough for both of them.

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

As he passed her door for the umpteenth time, he heard a voice in his head.

“Kotallo…are you there?”

He tapped his FOCUS and looked at her door, seeing her body glow blue beyond.

“Yes,” he said softly, “I am here.”

The doors opened and Aloy stood in front of him, unsure and uncertain, as agitated as he.

Kotallo gazed at her, wishing he knew what to say.

Aloy opened her mouth then they both heard the sound of Zo getting up, probably to relieve her poor bladder and she grabbed his chest plate and dragged him into her room, the doors closing behind her. Kotallo turned to look at her, Aloy’s eyes on the ground.

“I feel like such a hypocrite…” Her voice was broken and her shoulders were bowed. Kotallo knew no one apart from himself ever saw her like this. All he wanted to do was comfort her and hide her weakness and vulnerability within his embrace.

“Aloy…”

“After everything I said to you…about never again…Kotallo…I…”

He couldn’t stop himself, his hand cupping her head and his lips crashing onto hers, his desire flaming out of control in the blink of an eye. Aloy didn’t hesitate, threading her arms around his neck and returning the kiss as strongly as he gave it.

“If you don’t want to…”

Kotallo moaned and kissed down her neck. “How could I not want to…”

He struggled getting his armour off so she helped him, pulling the outer layers of tunic away and a moment later, Aloy gasped.

“What…”

He looked down and saw the inking on his chest that was only two days old filling the space that he’d kept aside for the woman he would always love. It was the shape of Aloy’s face with strands of her hair whipping out from her head.

“I didn’t know your mark…but I always see you like this…” He whispered.

“Kotallo…” She trembled as he took her hand and laid it across the image on the skin over his head.

“I told you,” he said as he ran his fingers through her hair, “I am marked by you…”

Aloy swallowed and gazed at him. “I don’t deserve you.”

“I thought the same about my deserving you…” Kotallo admitted then stroked her cheek. “I would have taken my love for you to my grave…”

“You…love me?”

He blinked, surprised at her surprise.

Was it not obvious?

Did it not ooze from every pore of his body?

“Desperately…completely…” He kissed down her neck, the last layers between them falling away. “Hopelessly…deeply…passionately…”

“Always…”

“Always.” Kotallo vowed, picking her up and carrying her to the bed. “Always.”

“Always…”

Their lovemaking was frantic, desperate to fulfill their immediate need with nothing between them. And when it was over they curled up together, unwilling to let go of the moment. Kotallo stroked her hair, tracing the line of her shoulders, the hills and valleys of her curves. Aloy’s eyes fluttered but she wouldn’t let her heavy lids close.

“Sleep, Aloy…”

“I don’t want to sleep…” Aloy said softly as he stroked her forehead and down her nose.

“Why not?”

“Because then I’ll wake up…”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“No,” she met his eyes, “because you’ll leave.”

Kotallo smiled firmly at her. “You will survive. You are strong.”

She sat up a little, her eyes flaring up with indignation, her mouth hard and angry. “Do you have no idea how I feel about you? How…I can’t bear…”

Kotallo realised he’d been downplaying her regard for him…because it was safer that way. He sat up and put his arm around her, drawing her close.

“Forgive me…that was thoughtless of me to say.” He sighed and breathed in her hair. “Aloy, what I meant was…you always do what is necessary. And I will always support you. I may be maimed...but I've got a strong heart.”

She shuddered almost as though she was crying. “Then I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything.”

“Don’t look back.” He started and looked down at her as she gazed up into his face. “When you leave tomorrow…don’t look back at me…or I’ll lose my resolve…and beg you to come back.” She sniffed. “I need you to go to the Tenakth. I need your help…but I want you by my side…more than anything.”

“I’ll be back as soon as possible.” Kotallo promised her, kissing the top of her head. “I might even come back in between visiting the different clans…restocking provisions, of course.”

She laughed softly then groaned, pressed against his chest. “I don’t want this to end.”

“You need to sleep.”

“I will,” she sank onto the mat and pulled him down, “stay…please.”

“Always.” Kotallo promised, holding her close.

To ride away from the base, from the plateau where Aloy stood, watching them go, was the hardest thing Kotallo had ever had to do, especially after what she had asked him to promise.

But he did it.

Not because he was strong.

But because he was selfish.

He had to rally the clans, bring likeminded Tenakth into the knowledge of what they faced, to defeat Nemesis and save the earth…

…because then he could love Aloy in public like he did…in the deepest recesses of his heart and with every fibre of his being.

His mad outlander…who made the impossible possible.

He had once vowed that he would give whatever was left of his life for her mission.

But Kotallo made a new vow.

He would stand by her and give whatever it took for Aloy to succeed and for the earth to be saved…because then, he would live for her and with her in a world where their lives no longer hung in the balance…but was free to be lived in the knowledge of the past and in the hope of the future.