They were the longest three weeks of his life.

Kotallo had hoped that his libido would be satiated for at least a week but the lust began to call to him within just a day of their frantic union in the stitcher’s alcove. He couldn’t comprehend the demand of the desire, almost more consuming than his need for food. In fact, he would have happily forgone a meal, several meals, if just to expel the desperation from his loins once more. His dreams became filled with images of Olenka and he often woke in the night, his heart pounding and his manhood exposing the intent of his dream.

He was faithful to his vow and told no one though it pained him not to be able to confide in Jayko. There were so many questions he wanted to ask but he was afraid of losing Olenka and so he denied himself the answers, waiting with increasing frustration for her to summon him.

With the Stalker threat eliminated, squads were able to head into the valley to the far extent of the Sky Clan’s territory. Hekarro called for more warriors to defend No Man’s Land against the Carja. Tekotteh told the Marshal that criticised the lack of volunteers from the Sky Clan that most of the squads were too young and inexperienced to go up against the Carja. The Marshal had left with just a handful of soldiers and a grim expression on his face.

Though Kotallo knew Arakko and his sister were frustrated at Tekotteh’s mandate that only experienced soldiers could volunteer, he was relieved not to be away for months at a time.

Abstaining for three weeks was hard enough.

When Shenay whispered to him in passing that Olenka was waiting for him at the base of the secret path, Kotallo had almost sprinted to the back of the Bulwark and skidded down the incline which was dangerous enough without adding frantic carelessness to it.

At the base he found Olenka and went to embrace her. She put her hand to his chest then winked at him.

“Come with me.” She teased and led him like a kid goat to the slaughter.

They crossed a walking path, passed through a line of trees to the edge of a clearing where Grazers were tilling the soil and Burrowers patrolled the outskirts.

“What are we doing here?” Kotallo whispered, itching to remove her clothes.

“I want to have you…there.” Olenka pointed to a sheltered cove in the middle of the clearing. Kotallo stared at it.

“But…the machines…”

“Only the Burrowers pose a threat with their patrols and scans. We take those out and you can have me in the presence of the Grazers.”

Kotallo hesitated. “Olenka, even though Grazers run when startled, they could trample us.”

“We’ll have to be very…very…” She slid her hand up his thigh and Kotallo’s eyes rolled into the back of his head. “Quiet…let’s go.”

Kotallo was too desperate to have her after three weeks without to question her further. He did as he was told, taking down a Burrower silently, dragging its carcass away from the sight of the Grazers. He had to inch his way across the clearing, dashing from clump of grass to the shelter of the cove where he found Olenka waiting.

And all around the Grazers grazed, ignorant to their passionate union.

When they were done, Olenka stood and shouted loudly, startling the Grazers and they bolted from the clearing. She turned to Kotallo, her eyes bright. Kotallo was concerned.

“There is more…blood.” He did his best to clean himself.

“That’s normal…so I hear.” Olenka insisted. “I listened for three weeks…you didn’t tell anyone.”

“How do you know that for sure?”

“Secrets leak like the stench of a rotting corpse in the Bulwark.” Olenka winked. “You’ve proven you can be trusted.”

Kotallo approached her, putting his arms around her slender frame. “Now can I speak of it? Or at least make my intent to bond with you known?”

“No!” Olenka recoiled. “Kotallo, no!”

“I would never stop you from being a warrior!” Kotallo insisted. “Olenka…I don’t want to stop you from being who you are.”

“Then know that I am completely, entirely, hopelessly yours…during the next three days.” Olenka insisted. Kotallo’s face fell. She put her fingers against his cheek. “Don’t worry…I’m going to make you glad you waited and kept this to yourself…for as long as you have the desire, I will fulfill it.”

And Kotallo’s well of desire ran as deep as the Wound in the Sand in Scalding Spear. Everything Olenka did seemed to turn him on until his lust was rampant. She only needed to look at him, to see the desperation in his eyes to know that he had to have her once more.

And every time she insisted it was within the presence of machines.

First it was the dead Stalkers, then the Grazers. Within the three days that followed Olenka led Kotallo to four other machine sites. Scrappers, Chargers, Snapmaws and barely hidden beneath the sharp gaze of Glinthawks that circled above.

“That’s it,” Olenka announced, “that’s all…until I call for you again.”

Kotallo bit back his protests, knowing that to defy her would be to lose her.

So he returned to the Bulwark, desperately wanting to hold her hand.

“Kotallo,” Jayko hissed, “you missed patrol duty today. I covered your ass but where the hell were you?”

“Sorry.” Kotallo blurted. “I…I got a bit…distracted.”

Jayko studied him long and hard. Kotallo’s neck felt hot.

“I hope she’s worth risking a court martial.” Jayko murmured. Kotallo kept his lips clamped together. Jayko sighed. “Look…I’ll cover you, okay…but if you get into trouble, your whole squad pays the price.”

Kotallo closed his eyes and breathed out. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

Jayko let himself smile and slugged his shoulder. “Hey…forget about it, alright?”

Three weeks later Kotallo’s libido was running hot when Shenay gave him the signal. This time he and Olenka tumbled in the dangerous territory of Leaplashers and barely escaped being trampled by Bristlebacks. Fanghorns came close to discovering them several times and Shellwalkers ambled passed their hiding place, Watchers leading the convoy front and back as their passion melted the snow around them.

When Kotallo questioned why their lovemaking was always in the presence of machines, Olenka replied casually, “Doesn’t it make it more exciting?”

Kotallo couldn’t imagine what they were doing becoming less exciting. In fact, he would love to experience it in the softness of the stitcher’s hut again as it was the moment that had come closest to what he and Olenka had feeling like a real relationship. But he was still afraid to lose her and every time the small window of opportunity ended, she reiterated that what they were doing had to be kept a secret.

Another three weeks passed and Kotallo could add an intimate brush in the presence of Clawstriders, within hearing of a Behemoth herd and only because of a Widemaw’s loud bellow were they not discovered.

Kotallo had stopped asking by this stage if their relationship could be made known.

Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.

It wasn’t as if Olenka was unwilling, he reasoned. She was just reluctant to be relegated to the title of bond mate, a domestic woman who was expected to bear children in between being a soldier, dividing her attention.

He could understand it…only just.

He let Olenka go into the Bulwark ahead of him, allowing plenty of time to pass before going in himself to avoid any suspicion. But as he went to do so, Jayko met him coming the other way and he grabbed his arm and dragged him back out of the closeness of the settlement.

“What are you doing?”

“Olenka, Kotallo? Olenka!” Jayko accused softly and Kotallo’s expression froze. “Forget the lies and excuses. I know it's her." He put his hands to his face. “You must be out of your mind desperate for her, Kotallo…cause she’s not that way for you and you’d know that if you were thinking with your head and not your…”

“Shut your mouth.” Kotallo snarled and Jayko recoiled at the vehemence of his tone. Kotallo was surprised as well, never having spoken in anyway like that to anyone before, let alone his best friend. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tried to mitigate the harshness of his voice.

“I know exactly what I’m talking about. She’s using you, Kotallo as a brag sheet.”

“No one knows. She makes me swear not to tell.” Kotallo insisted then realised just how deceptive it sounded. “She…she wants to be a soldier, not a mother…Maybe if she became heavy with child…”

“What? She’d suddenly turn domestic? Tender? Loving?”

“She’s loving enough.”

Jayko’s expression was full of pity and Kotallo’s anger was barely in check because of it.

“Kotallo…Alaika said that there’s a…parchment in the women’s lodge…a kind of, been there, done that, record…”

“Olenka wouldn’t…”

“What machine was it just now?” Jayko folded his arms and eyed Kotallo. “Where did you let her drag you this time? Plowhorn? Longleg? Lancehorn? Widemaw?” Kotallo knew he’d given himself away with a slight eye flicker as Jayko’s expression dropped. “Kotallo, are you out of your mind? You could be killed!”

“Are you jealous? Or angry that you were wrong that she would never give herself to me?”

“Give herself…you’re her slave! Alaika said the women brag to each other about the men they’ve had in the territory of different machines. She said half of them are already late with their blood rush.”

“Late?” Kotallo blurted before he could stop himself.

Jayko moaned. “Kotallo…blood rush is the name given to the discharge that a woman’s body gives every month. The only time it stops is when she is with child.” Kotallo stared at him, his face set in stone. “Please, Kotallo…don’t be a fool…”

“You’re wrong.” Kotallo barely managed to grind out between his teeth. “You’re so wrong.”

He stormed away, the crunch of his feet in the snow not enough to obscure Jayko’s soft reply,

“For your happiness…I hope I am.”

In his stubbornness, Kotallo refused to ask Olenka about Jayko’s suspicions. In fact, he didn’t offer up a single protest, even dragging Olenka to new machine sites as if he could somehow dispel Jayko’s accusations by making the arrangement more of a partnership than a dictatorship.

He did notice that they hadn’t made love in the presence of the same machine twice.

The fourth month of their arrangement knocked over Rollerbacks, Spikesnouts, Bellowbacks and beneath the shadow of a Stormbird.

And when it was over, he didn’t protest or beg for everything to be known.

It seemed to make Olenka happier but Kotallo felt wretched in Jayko’s presence. The Orphan Squad’s dynamics were strained and they lacked the cohesion that existed before the fight. Kotallo missed his friend. He missed his squad and their friendship.

He thought his relationship with Olenka would provide answers and contentment. Instead it only divided him from others and he wasn’t entirely sure, if he was completely honest with himself, that what he and Olenka had could be called a relationship.

He was pondering this very notion while anticipating Olenka’s summoning any day when a horn sounded. It was a call to the Pit for an address. Usually the speaker was the Commander of the Sky Clan but while Tekotteh was there, looking slightly amused behind his grim façade, Gerrah was the one speaking. All those in the Bulwark were required to gather and listen.

“Sky Clan,” she said with a strong voice, “I have been made aware of a disturbing trend amongst our unbonded. A sheet of…accomplishments,” she unrolled the parchment, showing the glyphs on it that represented machines when being inked on skin, “sexual acts performed in the presence of machines, ticked off as though this is something to be achieved…to be proud of.” She rolled the parchment up. “This must stop. If the recklessness and sheer stupidity of these flaunted acts, dangerously committed in the presence of machines that could kill you was not enough, know that these actions weaken the tribe. Already four women are with child and will be removed from any kind of duty for up to a year until their babies are weaned and three more are suspected to join them. Deciding to become a mother is not a flippant commitment to be made because you’re trying to outdo each other. This reckless behaviour demonstrates a foolishness that is unbefitting the Sky Clan tribe.” Gerrah’s eyes cast around the gathered men and women, Kotallo stiff as a board while his spine cringed away from her all knowing glare. “Lankatta would be very disappointed in you. I know I am.”

Gerrah stepped back, allowing Tekotteh to move forwards.

“As Chaplain Gerrah speaks, so I concur.” He said bluntly and the announcement was over.

Immediately voices began to speak urgently, gossip and rumour circulating so fast it was like a whirlpool where the water clung and stained. Kotallo shifted out of the centre of it, standing at the very edge. He looked up and saw Jayko’s deadpan expression. Kotallo swallowed and looked away.

Jayko couldn’t be right.

He just couldn’t.

When Shenay let him know Olenka was waiting for him, Kotallo was riddled with doubt.

He found her waiting at the edge of the tree line.

“Olenka, I…”

She put her finger to his lips. “Come…”

Kotallo followed her mutely, his heart warring with his physical demand and his head unable to reason any way out of it without losing that which mattered most to him. Olenka led him up the mountain rather than down it, across the spine of the mountain and then down into an unknown valley. No Tenakth or any other tribe had markers around it. It was a large oval and Kotallo suspected there had been a lake in the centre of it once but it had long since frozen over until it was as hard as stone. Walking around the former lake’s perimeter was an enormous machine, nothing like Kotallo had never seen before.

“What is it?” He breathed.

“Thunderjaw.” Olenka said softly. “They are a new machine sighted throughout the west.”

It had to be new. There was no missing its enormous bulk, the armour that clad its body, its powerful back legs and wide jaw. It was adorned with disc launchers, cannons and Kotallo suspected it had lasers mounted on the sides of its head.

“How did you know it was here?”

“The squad Inala is in discovered this site.” Olenka explained. “You know that parchment that Gerrah was getting all worked up over? Inala inked the Thunderjaw on it the night before Gerrah confiscated it.”

Kotallo looked at Olenka who gazed at the Thunderjaw with her bright blue eyes.

He didn’t want to ask…but he had to know. “The parchment…who…who started it?”

Olenka looked at him. “Does it matter?” Kotallo trembled. Olenka took his hand. “Come…”

“Where?”

“Down there.”

Kotallo drew back. “Olenka…no…it’s too dangerous. Gerrah warned us…”

“Gerrah is a prude.” Olenka huffed indignantly. “Honestly, it’s just a bit of fun.”

“Fun…” Nothing had buoyed his hopes and dashed them like this ‘fun’ had. “Olenka…I can’t…”

Olenka walked down the slope and turned to him. “You can do this, Kotallo. I know you can.”

Kotallo swallowed. “It’s…not safe.”

“If you’re afraid…stay up here.”

Kotallo’s treacherous loins screamed that their need was greater than the warnings of his brain and the hesitation of his heart.

And like a fool…he only listened to his immediate need.

He chased her down the slope, colliding with her in the snow, anger and desire warring for dominance. Kotallo hated the look of triumph in her eyes when it was over. He sagged onto Olenka’s shoulder, closing his eyes and whimpering as the shadow of the Thunderjaw passed overhead, able to crush them yet unaware they were hidden beneath the shallow overhang of a rocky outcrop.

“I knew you could do it.” Olenka breathed as the machine moved away. “Inala insisted that no woman could bring a man to his peak in the presence of the Thunderjaw…but I knew I could with you.”

Kotallo pulled himself up. “Then it’s true.”

Olenka looked at him. “True?”

“The parchment? The brag sheet…a list of machines you’ve had sex in the presence of…”

“Of course it’s true.” Olenka stood up and Kotallo recoiled, stunned by her blunt honesty. “Let’s go before the Thunderjaw senses us.” She dressed as she walked, shaking off the snow. Kotallo could not be more aware of the red smears across his loins.

“Blood rush…the emptying of a woman’s body when she is not with child.” Kotallo flinched. “It…you made sure, didn’t you, that I could not plant a seed in you.”

“I see someone has finally educated you.” Olenka said sweetly but her words were as bitter as salt brush. “Don’t look at me as though I have betrayed you. I told you I was not ready to be bonded to any man. I’m certainly not ready to carry the child of one.” She stalked away from him, Kotallo watching her go.

“It was you, wasn’t it?” She turned to him, her hands on her hips. Kotallo’s heart sank in his chest. “You started the parchment…you bragged of your escapades at various machine sites…and others who wanted to be like you or better than you…they started doing the same.”

“Yes, it was me,” Olenka admitted, and the air evacuated his lungs, “however, unlike me, they were all foolish, so desperate to outdo me that they risked their bodies being prime for a man’s seed…and wound up with child. Even Inala who had eyes for Tekotteh cannot deny that she carries another’s child. He’ll never sleep with her again.” Olenka smirked. “She’ll never make squad leader now, not with a baby on her hip and having slighted Tekotteh.”

Kotallo moaned and sank to his knees in the snow. “I…I’ve been such a fool…” He looked up at her, wanting to rip the last of her hooks out of his heart. “You never loved me, did you?”

Olenka’s eyes were as cold as steel. “No.”

Kotallo put his face into his hands. He stayed there for a long time.

When he looked up, Olenka was gone.

He lay on his bed that night, having trudged back to the Bulwark, broken and weary. The lodge was quiet except for the snores of the other males. Kotallo felt tears trickle down his face, his throat constricted so painfully he could barely speak.

“You were right, Jayko,” he rasped quietly only his best friend could hear him, “you were right.”

There was a long, awful pause before his friend’s voice came back to him.

“I wish I wasn’t…I’m sorry.”